Whoah, this got long. Not sure whether that's a good thing or not, and trying not to make comparisons to the length of the film…

In which Fíli exploits his brother for the good of the company (and his own profit), Kíli gets his own back, and Ori is made immensely happy.

Exploitation

"Oín, Gloín, you can order fresh supplies. Tell them we'll pay them when we collect."

"Remember we need a new cooking pot." Bombur adds. The old one had fallen off a pony and rolled into a ravine two days ago, and no one had had the heart to try retrieving it.

Thorin nods in agreement. "Fíli, Kíli, you can sell our wares. Make sure you get a good price. They will not have seen much dwarvish craftsmanship before in this town."

"Thorin, are you sure?" Gloín is looking sceptical. "We have a lot to sell." This is true. It's the first time they've managed to enter a town on a market day, and several of the dwarves have been spending most of their spare hours whittling or tinkering away. But Gloín's plan to keep the company financially stable on their journey to Erebor (it will all be fine once they regain it, of course) heavily depends on them actually selling their wares.

"They're perfectly competent." Thorin replies a trifle tartly. "Fíli has very good business sense."

"And Kíli…?"

"I keep him amused."

Bofur scratches his head under his hat. "I'm still not certain…"

But Thorin stills him with a hand. "You'll see." He gets a shrug in response.

"We'll sell it all for you." Fíli claims confidently.

Gloín looks him up and down sceptically. "All? I'll tell you what lads, I'll wager you a third of the profits that you can't." That's one good way to ensure they don't make a loss.

Fíli has a calculating gleam in his eye. "You're on."

"Hang on." Ori pushes forward to the front of the group. "You haven't let me add my contribution yet."

Gloín rolls his eyes, then all of a sudden looks inexplicably happy.

Kíli takes the offering in his hands. "What is it?"

"It's a snood."

"A what?"

"A snood. You can wear it like a scarf. Or a hat. Or a hood."

Fíli eyes the dirty grey knitted rag with some trepidation. "Of course, since it was only added to the pile after we agreed-"

"No. All of it. You have to sell all of it. That's what we agreed."

"I see what you mean." Bofur leans back on the bench, surveying the square as he shares a pint with Thorin. When the innkeeper had looked down at them he had tried to offer them halves, but Thorin's glare had soon set that matter straight. "They're actually quite good at it, aren't they?" Even as he speaks another woman stops in front of the make-shift table they're using as a stall, towing a child behind her. "Or at selling to women, at least."

Thorin just takes a swig from his tankard, looking rather pleased with himself.

"Why is it? I mean, Kíli hasn't even got a proper beard yet. No self-respecting dwarf-woman would even take a second glance at him. And Fíli's hardly, well…"

The sound of Kíli's laughter peals out across the square, apparently prompted by one of Fíli's jokes. It turns Bofur's head, and by the look of it several others as well.

Thorin shrugs. "I do not know what it is. But it is most profitable."

Fíli smiles pleasantly up at their customer. "Would you like to take a look at this fine garment as well, madam? It's of the finest dwarven make, and only three pennies."

The lady runs her fingers over it tentatively. "I wasn't aware that the dwarves were famed for their knitting."

"Misconceptions. There are many things people do not know about us."

"What is it?"

"A snood."

"A what?"

Kíli coughs. "It's a sort of scarf-hat thing. It's… traditional."

"Ah, no thank you. I think I'll just take these."

"Fíli!" Ori darts up to them just as their customer is leaving. "Have you sold it yet? Look, I've found some more yarn for another one and everything."

"Not yet." Ori's smile droops.

"I think we might be setting the price too high." Fíli says cautiously. "No one can afford to buy it, that is."

"Oh. Well, good luck!"

"Fíli?"

"Yes?"

"We have not got all that much longer."

"And?"

Kíli sifts his money back into his belt pouch uneasily and hands his brother's back over. "We still have most of it left to sell. But we've already made enough that we cannot afford to let Gloín win."

Fíli's face darkens. "We don't have enough to pay him off?"

Kíli shakes his head.

"Right, right… Take your shirt off."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it. You'll see."

"But-"

"Uncle's not hanging around watching any more, and all the others are gone. Just take it off, Kíli." Fíli watches as his brother reluctantly strips off his tunic and undershirt and folds them neatly in a pile behind the table. "And stop shivering."

"Stop scowling too."

"But you made me take my shirt off, and I'm cold. And you still haven't told me why you made me do it."

"It'll get us more trade."

"How?"

"You'll see, if you stop glowering and scaring them all away."

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"Smile. Grin or something. That grin you have when you've just thought up something. Anything. Just stop looking like uncle brooding."

Kíli frowns, then smirks at the thought that this is exactly what his brother doesn't want him to do.

"That'll do."

"Now what?"

"Find a passer-by to use it on. Preferably a female one."

"I thought as much."

"And try not to look as though you're scanning for targets."

Kíli flexes his fingers and looses an imaginary arrow. The woman walking past gives them a strange look and he flashes her a grin, only for her to turn to the stall on the other side of the street instead. "See. You're wrong."

The woman casually leaves the other trader, swinging round towards them as though she'd been intending to do so all along. Fíli leans back and props his feet up on the table. "Fear not, dear brother. Our fortunes are assured."

"Stop playing with them."

"They're toys. I'm demonstrating."

Unable to resist the temptation Fíli picks up a carved horse and rider himself and uses it to charge down his brother's. "Fíli! Don't break them!"

Giggles sound from above them and they look up to see a girl examining some of Bifur's carvings. "Did you make all these?"

"Ah, mostly not, no. They're by… family and friends. We're just selling them on their behalf."

"While they all get drunk in a tavern somewhere." Kíli adds. "Alas, we can only join them when we've sold all of these."

"That's seems a little harsh."

Kíli puts on his best pitiful expression. "Our uncle said we had to."

"We're the youngest, you see."

That leads to a conversation, which leads to several purchases, to the point where Fíli thinks it might be worth a go at cracking the greatest problem facing them. "I think we might just make it now, if only we can sell this."

"What is it?"

"A snood."

"A what?"

"A snood. Here, Kíli!" His brother turns away from his own departing customer. "Demonstrate."

"Demonstrate what?"

"The snood."

Kíli looks affronted. "Do I have to?"

"Do you want us to eat tonight or not?" The lass really seems to be buying this cruel uncle thing. Maybe they'll try it again, so long as Thorin isn't around anywhere.

Kíli pulls the shapeless thing over his head sulkily.

"Ah, actually, no, I think I'll just take these. Sorry I couldn't help more."

Fíli takes account of their remaining stock and does a few calculations. "Take your boots off too."

His brother obeys him more readily this time. "When are you going to stop? Should I start telling people that you're making me sell my clothes because we're not making enough money?"

"No! We'd never sell anything then!"

"I don't understand this, Fíli. Why do they all keep looking at me the way that… I don't know, like the way they look at Bombur back home? Why?"

"I told you, brother, the women here have strange tastes."

"They quite like you too though. Why don't you-"

"Have you sold it yet?"

Fíli is quite glad that whatever Kíli's question was going to be has been interrupted, but he's not quite sure how to answer Ori's question either. "No. The best is always the last to sell, you know."

"Oh. Why isn't Kíli wearing a shirt?"

"To demonstrate just how warm your snood is."

Ori seems to accept this as an answer and leaves. Fíli has a horrible feeling that he's just scared away most of their custom.

"Right, take that thing off and go buy some cakes off that woman sat opposite us – that one who's been glaring at us for the past hour. And try and tempt her over to come and look at this lot while you're at it."

"You said you wouldn't make me take anything else off."

"Yes, but you didn't have the snood on to start with. And it looks ridiculous."

Kíli tosses it to him. "Maybe we can just give it away. Or throw it away."

Fíli shudders. "Imagine if Ori found it."

"Fair enough."

Kíli returns with two warm cakes a few minutes later. "She says that you should pay your share for yours. And that I should put my shirt on and stop listening to you."

"No. You've got to keep it off. Otherwise we won't win the bet."

"But I'm cold! Why can't you do it for a bit?"

"Because I'm the one making us money!"

"She said you were exploiting me."

"I'm not. I'm just making the best use of the resources we've got available."

"Well, I'm not sitting here without a shirt unless you do it too!"

Eventually a compromise is reached, even if it's not a compromise favourable to Kíli.

"One of us has still got to try and look at least slightly professional."

Kíli remains silent in protest. Fíli has at least stripped down to his shirt and has consented to leave the split neck wide open, but he has also hidden Kíli's shirt and tunic, which Kíli deems unfair.

"And don't scowl!"

"They're looking at you rather than me now." Kíli mutters under his breath.

"What did you expect? You're skinnier and you don't spend as much time in the forge. I thought that was what you wanted, anyway?"

But Kíli's attention has been turned elsewhere. "Good afternoon, madam. We have some excellent bargains today. Buy any of these carvings and we'll throw a snood in for free!"

They look at it glumly. Fíli rather imagines that it looks glum as well. "We've sold everything else. If only Ori hadn't brought his cursed knitting needles along! We're bankrupt, Kíli. We're going to have to get Thorin to bail us out."

Kíli nudges him, apparently worried by something more than just the prospect of explaining the situation to their uncle. "Quick, act innocent! That scowling lady from opposite is heading over."

Fíli is about to think up a witty reply, but their final customer of the day – their final chance – reaches them first. "How much for the knitted… thing?"

"Eh?"

"This."

"Oh, the snood! Three pennies."

"Three pennies? It's not worth a half penny."

"Two then."

"Half a penny."

"Just a penny, then?"

"Look, it's unravelling."

Fíli throws up his hands in the air. "Alright, have it for free!"

"For free? For free? When you bought goods off me? No, I'm only trying to help you out, boys." The woman grins wickedly, and Fíli realises that she's not as old as Kíli's comments had led him to believe. "I'll have it in exchange for a kiss off each of you."

Fíli tries hard not to gape. "N- what?"

"A kiss of each of you."

"I heard what you said! I can't let you do that to my little brother! That would be exploitation!"

"Really? But your business seems to be largely based on your exploitation of your little brother. Tell you what – three kisses off you and give him his shirt back. Then I'll take it. Afterwards."

Fíli bites his lip. "Fine."

Kíli catches the bundle and the look of bemusement on his face turns into a grin as he watches his brother being fair-forcibly dragged away into the nearest snicket.

They return in less time than he was expecting. Fíli looks rather pink. "Where is it?" he asks hurriedly and slightly breathlessly.

"I sold it."

"What? The snood?"

"Yes. For four pennies." Kíli gives the lady an apologetic bow and a snide grin.

"Who in Durin's name bought it for that much? Did Ori decide he wanted it back after all?"

"No. I bought it." Kíli receives a look of incomprehension from his brother. "Well, it's been the only thing keeping me warm most of the afternoon."

"You can't buy it! They'll say that's cheating!"

"Fine." Kíli stops fondling the snood and offers it back to their smirking customer. "My lady, I am happy to offer you this snood for the price of another of your cakes – and I'll throw in my brother's services in helping you take your stall down for free."

Even Gloín has to admit that he's impressed, and, true to his word, counts out a third of the money without too much grumbling.

"Who bought my snood?" Ori asks eagerly.

Kíli is about to launch into the whole story, but his brother butts in first. "Kíli bought it in the end, Ori, he became so attached to it. But then we got given such a good offer that I made him sell it on."

Kíli is about to correct some of the finer details of this, but is prevented from doing so by his brother's elbow in his ribs and Ori's joyous response. "You bought it, Kíli? You should have told me! I could have just made you one. In fact-" Ori fishes around inside his bag to triumphantly produce a ball of already tangled grey yarn, "- I can make you one!"

Fíli grins. Despite a few comebacks this is rapidly turning into a very profitable day. He leans his head on his little brother's shoulder as he turns away in dismay in order to whisper in his ear: "Remember, Kíli – don't scowl."

Umm, yeah. Basically, I saw my lovely lad shirtless and in between admiring I came up with a story idea and decided I just had to get these two doing it too. But please don't tell any of them. It probably counts as exploitation. And the last chapter too. Umm… you don't mind, do you? Only I feel a bit bad about it now. Morals must be getting to me. If you don't see any problems with it please do tell me, because you'll make me feel better about it if I do it again…

Also, ideas! I need more ideas! And a longer work concentration span! Bah! The pit of exam depression lurks ahead. (The pit of exam depression is decidedly bad for cheerful stories, alas.)