"Ah Colonel Sheppard come in." Woolsey beckoned from behind his desk. Obediently Sheppard entered the office and headed to an empty chair. "You had better shut the door." Woolsey instructed causing Sheppard to grimace. He did however, shut the door before taking his seat as Woolsey patiently and silently waited. When Sheppard was settled Woolsey pointed to a huge stack of files on his desk and asked. "Do you know what this is Colonel?"
"Paperwork?" Sheppard questioned.
"Very good Colonel." Woolsey said wryly as Sheppard worried about the number of times he had used the word 'Colonel'. "Any idea what is the cause of the paperwork?"
"It comes with the job?" Sheppard guessed. Ignoring the comment Woolsey continued.
"All of this and those stacks down there." He said pointing to towers of files on the floor, "are caused by Ronon."
"All of them?" Sheppard asked, knowing he did not want to know the answer.
"All of them. For example this stack is full of complaints made about his, how shall I say this, abrupt behaviour. The pile over there details the damage he has done to furniture, doors and gym equipment, whilst the mountain over there describes the injuries caused to marines in so called training sessions."
"Oh."
"I think we are a bit beyond the oh stage Colonel. I don't know what has caused Ronon to behave like this, but it has gone on for over two weeks. You need to stop it."
"Believe me when I say I would love to, but I have had no luck."
"Try harder, and that was not a suggestion."
"Can I stun him?"
"If you do it in a way that would generate less paper work yes." Woolsey replied.
"Ok then." Sheppard said standing. "Oh, that was a joke wasn't it?"
"Do you really think I would endorse shooting members of the expedition?"
"No." Sheppard replied wearily before leaving the office.
Several hours of brain storming later Sheppard took a deep breath and entered Ronon's quarters. "How you doing buddy?" After a growl in response Sheppard continued. "Seeing how there are no more marines for you to play with, on account of them being scared and the gym being broken I thought we should spend some time together. So you have a choice, we can talk about what happened on Earth or we can play golf."
"Nothing to talk about."
"So golf it is." Sheppard smiled. "I thought it might be so I set up the tee and the clubs on the balcony earlier. And before you say anything, this is one of those things you have to do cos I tell you to."
Ronon glared at Sheppard who said. "Look I get you are upset, actually no I don't. In the two weeks you have been back you have never told me what was wrong, but given that you are clearly upset I get that you need to lash out, but I am responsible for the safety of my men and I can't have you sending them all to the infirmary."
"Fine, I'll ease up on the marines."
"We both know there is more to it than that. What happened on Earth?"
"Teyla has already told you."
"True, but she did it in a Teyla way. You know where she is all knowing, but you have to be Teyla to know what she is talking about. All I got out of the conversation was that you weren't happy and to be fair I have plenty of marines to tell me that." Sheppard explained before changing tact. "Ronon, you are not a runner and you are not alone anymore, you are part of the team and that gives you responsibilities. You can't take your bad mood out on all animate and inanimate objects. You have to deal with stuff in a different way. Some of this is my fault, maybe I should have forced you to talk earlier, I assumed that giving you space was the right way to go. I was wrong and I'm sorry. But now you have to get yourself back to normal and I will help anyway I can."
"By playing golf?" Ronon asked sceptically.
"Well that is one way, although personally I think talking, in sentences, might be better. Things might not be as bad as you think."
"She told me to leave." Ronon said.
"Ok, well when she did that did she throw your clothes out of a window or try and inflict bodily harm?"
"No."
"See, already not as bad as it could have been. So did she order to go or ask you to go?"
"Neither. I asked if she wanted me to say, she said no."
"Well how did you ask?"
"Can't remember."
"Ok. Is there any possibility that you phrased it, assuming you used words opposed to grunts, in a way that made the doc think you didn't want to be there?"
"No." Ronon said before asking. "What do you mean?"
"Did you say you didn't want to get in the way or you wouldn't take it personally or you were happy either way?"
"Yes."
"Yes? Which one?"
"All of them."
"There you go then. What the doc actually heard was that you would stay if she really wanted, but ideally you wanted to come back." Sheppard explained. On seeing the doubt in Ronon's eyes he added. "Seriously buddy, I am not messing around. If you ever marry a woman from Earth you will know I'm right, until then you just have to trust me."
"So you think she didn't want to get rid of me?"
"It is a definite possibility."
"So I shouldn't have left. She'll hate me as I didn't stay." Ronon said, beginning to feel worse.
"She won't hate you. She'll think that she inconvenienced you, hell she will probably buy you a present as thanks."
"That makes no sense."
"Women make no sense."
"Doesn't matter she is not interested."
"This insight is based on?"
"The way she acts round me."
"Which is?" Sheppard continued to probe.
"Nervous."
"I'm sorry I thought we were talking about the doc, Jennifer Keller, the CMO."
"I am."
"The person who acts nervous round everyone. The person who you can cause to jump so high they are in danger of concussing themselves by whispering 'boo'."
"So you don't think it's me?"
"Ronon, based on her other interactions and the effect you have on everyone, if she really was scared of you, you would have given her a coronary by now. You haven't so she is not scared of you." Sheppard explained, feeling that he was condemning himself to a life of politics with his new found ability to provide answers he thought Ronon wanted to hear. "That is not to say she is interested in you, but I don't think you can say she is not interested."
"Yeah?" Ronon asked, a glimmer of hope in his voice.
"Yeah." Sheppard confirmed before wiping Ronon's smile from his face by saying. "Right now let's go play golf."