Arthur clapped his hands together eagerly. "Alright! You're all third years I assume, what has Professor Binns been covering with you?"
Harry raised his hand.
"Yes, Mister Potter?"
Harry took a deep breath and said, "Goblin Rebellions."
Professor Kirkland frowned lightly. "Why? Those are irrelevant. What else?" He pointed at another student who'd raised his hand.
"Just...goblin rebellions," the student said.
"Really?" he asked disbelievingly. Kirkland sighed, "Oh, my. This will never do." He paced the class a moment, thinking. He's made up his lesson plans according to what children were supposed to have learned by now. If they really know so little...
"Please put your apparently useless textbooks away, and take out some parchment and a quill. I'm going to be teaching you all from the very beginning!" he announced with finality.
Students broke out into murmurs as they did what he said. Could he really teach it all from off the top of his head?
"We'll be starting circa the Ancient Roman Empire," Kirkland said with a smile, "Back then, they more commonly used staffs rather than wands. Rome was one of the first to use magic with a definite form. It's actually why most of our spells are in Latin..."
By the middle of the class, Alfred was snoring softly on his desk. He would probably ask his brother for the notes later. Ron was bored out of his mind and doodling in the margins of his notes, while Harry watched the teacher curiously. He spoke as if he was there when this all happened. The way his movements became more agitated and angry when he discussed Emperor Nero's abuse of magic. Or how he would speak about assorted creatures of the Fae with either great respect or wariness.
Hermione practically skipped out of the classroom happily. "He's such a good teacher! I'm thrilled to study under him. Aren't you?" she directed this question to her four friends.
Harry nodded. "He certainly does make it interesting..."
Alfred yawned and stretched. "About as interesting as a lullaby, maybe. Mattie, can I use your notes?"
Matthew sighed and shook his head. "Fine, remind me later."
"What did you think, Ron?" Hermione asked.
"I think I'm going to need those notes too, Matthew," Ron stated mischievously.
"Don't you care about your grade? You'll need to be ready for OWLs you know," Hermione reminded.
"OWLs? Those aren't even close!" Harry responded.
"It's still good to be prepared," Hermione defended.
"She has a point, but I don't think we should be worrying about something that far away," Matthew said. "I'm starving! Let's go to lunch."
Alfred scuffed his shoe on the floor. "Damn, I almost forgot. I've got detention. I'll see ya'll at the next class." He jogged back towards Professor Kirkland's classroom.
"That's got to suck," Ron commented as Alfred disappeared.
"What?" Matthew asked.
"Having detention with a parent," Ron said with a shudder. "I can't imagine what my mum would do to me if I was in detention with her all lunch."
"The professor's not that bad," Hermione said confidently, "He should be fine."
"I want you to dust and polish all the desks and tables. Then you must sweep and mop the floor."
Alfred glanced around at the large room, counting the desks and gauging the length of the room. He frowned unhappily. "How am I supposed to get done with that by next class?"
"Work quickly," Arthur answered shortly. He handed the boy a feather duster. "You know you could just enchant the cleaning supplies, right?"
"I'd rather not," Alfred said a little too quickly. He took the duster and set to work without another word.
Arthur shook his head. What was wrong with that boy? He glanced at the American one last time. "Someone's going to notice your aversion to magic eventually. You need to be comfortable with using your wand for things, at least while you're here." He exited the room, leaving Alfred to ponder.
Little did either one know, that in a darkened corner of the room, was an unnoticed blond Slytherin boy. He watched the whole exchange, and an evil grin spread across his pale face as he planned his revenge.
"There you are!" Ron said cheerfully as their friend caught up to them. "How was detention?"
"It was terrible, he made me clean the whole room! Do you know how big that room is?" Alfred complained.
"Well, what did you expect would happen after pulling that stunt?" Hermione huffed. "Even if it was Malfoy and his goons."
"I'd do it again in a heart beat." Alfred stated.
Matthew shot his brother a look of warning. "Al, don't,"
Alfred said nothing in response.
"Good afternoon," Professor Lupin said. "Put your books away and get out your wands. Today we are doing a practical lesson."
Students glanced at each other curiously and did as the shabbily dressed professor said. They remembered the last time they had a practical lesson, when the professor had released a cage of pixies into the class.
"Follow me," Lupin said when the class was ready.
Everyone got to their feet, puzzled. The professor lead them along a deserted corridor and around a corner, to see none other than Peeves the poltergeist floating upside down in midair. The insufferable spirit was stuffing a wad of bubble gum into the keyhole of a broom closet. He looked up and saw Professor Lupin.
"Ah, I see Loony, loopy Lupin has returned!" He said gleefully.
Professor Lupin's smile didn't fade. "You should probably take the gum out of the keyhole. Mr. Filch won't be happy when he can't get to his brooms."
Mr. Filch, a failed wizard with a bad temper, waged a constant war against students. But the Hogwarts caretaker had a special hate for Peeves.
Peeves paid no mind to Lupin's words, and blew a loud wet raspberry in the teacher's direction.
"Watch closely," Lupin addressed the class over his shoulder as he took out his wand. "This is quite a useful little spell."
He raised his wand to shoulder height and pointed it at Peeves. "Waddiwasi!"
The gum wad shot out of the keyhole with the force of a speeding bullet. It went straight down Peeves's left nostril, and sent the poltergeist zooming away, cursing.
A student named Dean Thomas exclaimed, "Cool, sir!"
"Thank you," the professor responded as he put his wand away again. "Shall we proceed?"
He lead the class to the staffroom, a place that students usually never go. Lupin opened the door and ushered them inside.
The place was a long, paneled room full of old, mismatched chairs. The only occupant was Professor Snape. He sat in a low armchair, a nasty sneer playing at his mouth as he watched the class file in. He got to his feet saying, "I'd rather not witness this," as he strode pass the class. At the doorway, he turned to face Lupin. "I'll have to warn you. This class contains Neville Longbottom. I advise that you not entrust him with anything difficult, unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear."
Neville went scarlet, Matthew and Alfred had twin looks of disgust for Snape, and Harry glared. Snape was bad enough in his own classes, couldn't he at least leave well enough alone in front of other teachers?
Lupin raised his eyebrows. "Actually, I was hoping to have Neville assist me with the first stage of this operation, I'm sure he'll do fine."
Neville's face somehow flushed an even deeper red. Snape's lip curled, but he left, shutting the door with a snap.
"Now, then," Professor Lupin said, beckoning the class towards the end of the room, where there was nothing but an old wardrobe for teachers to keep spare robes. Lupin went to stand next to it, and the thing gave a sudden wobble, banging off the wall.
"Don't worry," Lupin said calmly. "It's just a boggart."
Neville had an expression of pure terror, and Seamus Finnigan eyed the rattling doorknob of the wardrobe apprehensively. Alfred looked at it curiously, not knowing what a boggart was. Matthew had a bad feeling about it from seeing his classmates' expressions.
"Boggarts prefer dark, enclosed spaces," the professor lectured. "Wardrobes, gaps beneath beds, cupboards under sinks-I've even met one inside a grandfather clock."
The wardrobe hopped again, making some students jump.
Lupin continued like he hadn't noticed, "This one moved in yesterday afternoon, and I asked the headmaster if the staff would leave it for my third years to practice on. But first we must ask, what is a boggart?"
Hermione put up her hand. "It's a shapeshifter. It takes the form of whatever the wizard fears the most."
"Exactly. I couldn't have put it better myself," Professor Lupin said. Hermione glowed from the praise.
"Thankfully, there's a simple charm to repel a boggart," Lupin reassured. "Remember that the number one weakness of a boggart is laughter. When you use this spell, think of something you find amusing. The boggart will then be forced to assume that shape. Now repeat after me, "Riddikulus!"
"Riddikulus!" the class repeated dutifully.
"This class is ridiculous," Malfoy could be heard to mutter.
"Now Neville," the professor said, bidding the Griffindor boy to come forward. "What frightens you the most?"
"P-professor Snape," Neville answered, barely above a whisper.
Nearly everyone laughed, even Neville had to smile, but Lupin looked thoughtful.
"Hmmm...Neville, I believe you live with your grandmother?" he inquired.
"Yes," Neville said nervously. "But I don't want it to turn into her either."
"No, no. You misunderstand me," Professor Lupin said, now smiling. "Can you picture your grandmother's clothes?"
"She...has a handbag-"
"Don't tell me. Just keep those clothes in your mind's eye," Lupin interrupted. "When I release the boggart, it will see you and assume the form of Professor Snape. When it does, I want you to raise your wand and shout, 'Riddikulus!' and if all goes well, you will see Snape in your grandmother's clothes."
There were snickers and giggles throughout the class; the wardrobe wobbled more violently.
"Now everybody form a line! The boggart will be facing each of you in turn!" Lupin ordered. "I want you all to think of what you fear most, and imagine how you might force it to look comical..."
The class eagerly shoved itself into a semi-orderly line. Harry thought of what would scare him the most.
Voldemort...returned to full strength. But even as he started to plan a possible counterattack on the boggart, a horrible thought came to mind. A skeletal hand, under a black cloak...that horrible rattling sound and that sensation of cold darkness...Harry shivered, looking around at the class.
Ron had his eyes shut tightly. "Take it's legs off...?" He obviously thinking of spiders.
Alfred seemed to be having trouble, as was his brother. Harry could hear undertones of their quiet conversation.
"There's so many...how do I know which one it will be?" one brother asked.
"Think of as many as possible..." the other responded.
Harry took solace in the fact that he wasn't the only one.
Professor Lupin moved away from the wardrobe and said, "Ready?" He waved his wand, and the doors opened.
Professor Snape stalked out, his eyes flashing. He advanced towards Neville.
"R-riddikulus!" Neville squeaked.
There was a noise like a whip crack. Snape stumbled; he was wearing a long, lace-trimmed dress and a towering hat topped with a moth-eaten vulture, and he was swinging a huge crimson handbag.
There was a roar of laughter. The boggart paused, confused.
"Next! Ron!" Lupin shouted.
Ron stepped forward hesitatingly. The boggart straightened and blurred, becoming a huge, hairy spider.
"Riddikulus!" Ron shouted.
Crack! Brightly colored roller skates appeared on the spider's feet. It slipped and struggled to stay standing. This was accompanied by another roar of laughter.
"Parvati! You're next!"
The girl stepped up, and the boggart became a giant rattle snake.
"Riddikulus!" Parvati cried.
Crack! The snake became a giant jack in the box, with the clown rocking back and forth like it had just sprung.
"Matthew, come forth!"
Matthew squeezed his brother's hand briefly and came forward. The boggart began to blur rapidly again. It stopped on the form of a young man with blond hair in an ostentatious purple outfit. His back was to Matthew, apparently not noticing him.
"Papa?" Matthew asked disbelievingly. He was never scared of...
The man turned around, revealing blue eyes and a scraggily chin. He frowned lightly and said with a thick french accent, "Do I know you?" The boggart, unusually, blurred again. It took the appearance of Matthew himself. Not-Matthew gasped, and sprouted. It became an older version of Matthew, with a look of mortification on it's face, as if being caught doing something dastardly.
Matthew grimaced and pointed his wand. "Riddikulus!"
Crack! Not-Matthew sprouted again, but this time it became tall enough to hit the ceiling, and it's clothes became comically small. The class laughed.
Lupin patted Matthew on the back as the Canadian went towards the back of the line. The professor briefly wondered what it could mean.
"Alfred!"
The American stepped towards the creature. The boggart blurred, shrunk, and rested on the form of a woman who looked to be in her thirties. Her outdated clothing was threadbare and covered in dust. She held an empty pot with a ladle hanging from her other hand, "Nothin' left folks," she said sadly. The woman then glared directly at Alfred. "And it's your fault." The boggart blurred again, becoming the form of a pilgrim clutching an old bible. He pointed at Alfred and screamed. "Burn the witch! Destroy that which is unknown!"
Alfred took a step back fearfully, but firmly reminded himself that it wasn't real. "Uh, Riddikulus!"
Crack! It's outfit became a jester's costume. The bible became a heavy phonebook and the boggart dropped it on it's own foot. The class laughed at it's plight.
"Harry, your turn!" the professor said. He inwardly frowned. What was that about?
Harry faced the boggart, hoping beyond hopes that it would be Voldemort. But such was not to be. The boggart stopped trying to free it's foot, and smiled evilly at Harry. It's form blurred, becoming that which Harry feared the most, a Dementor.
Harry froze, forgetting everything. He felt only fear, he saw only a Dementor. The cloaked figure floated eerily towards the boy, it's breath rattling through the single, black hole in it's face.
Lupin jumped in front of him, and the thing blurred, becoming a glowing orb, almost like a moon...
"Riddikulus!"
Crack! It became a bright a bright red balloon. It flew around the room as it deflated, until it disappeared into a wisp of smoke. He turned to face the class, looking grey-faced, "Great job everyone! Class dismissed. I shall see you all next time!"
The class filed out of the room, leaving the teacher alone.
Done with this chapter! I, personally, was especially looking forward to this one. On to business! I'm considering a sequel, but I would have to skip the Goblet of Fire and move on to the Order of the Phoenix. This would be because I have more ideas for the fifth year than I do the fourth.
But have no fear Avatar: the Last Airbender fans, for I will definitely be writing a APHxATLA crossover immediately following this story.
Thanks for the reviews and everything! It's great, I love them, and you all get virtual cookies!
Later dudes. ^J^