Part 11

Raven woke up later in the morning with a pounding headache and what happened the night before was a blur in her mind. She didn't even know how she got into her pajamas and into bed. She looked around a little noticing Joker wasn't in the room. Raven let out a small yawn and walked downstairs to see Max lying by the front door pouting, so she guessed that Joker had gone out.

"He'll be back soon." She said to the sad puppy as she patted his head. She served up Max's food first before getting herself something to eat.

Raven sat on the couch hugging her legs to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. Max was lying next to her fast asleep. It was almost one in the morning and Joker still hadn't come home, making Raven worry. She had turned on the evening news, but there was nothing about him getting arrested. Raven sighed and bit her lip. In the afternoon she had remembered that her drunk side admitted to Joker that she loved him. Was that the reason why he hasn't come back? Raven got up then and walked upstairs. She quickly dressed into something warm then patted Max's head before she left the house. Raven called the club earlier in the night and Josh had told her Joker wasn't there either. She had a small hunch where he might be, if she was wrong then she'd go back home and just wait.

It was fairly cold outside with the late Fall season. Raven wrapped her coat around her tightly and walked to the nearest subway station. Her fingers wrapped around the pepper spray in her pocket that she had bought. She sat on the empty subway cart and road it to the abandoned part of the city that she really didn't want to go back to. She walked out of the station and kept her head down as she hurried over to the abandoned, closed off building. The only people she passed were sleeping homeless people. Raven let out a small breath when she noticed Joker's purple sports car parked behind the building. She pulled open a rusty door and walked into the dark building, using her phone's flashlight to light her path.

Raven walked through a few halls, stepping over rubble and holding onto anything around her to keep from tripping. She finally came to the large open room where the large containers of yellow chemicals were. She shivered a little when she remembered what happed the last time she was here. Raven looked up and could see one of Joker's legs dangling off the edge a few floors up as he sat up and rested his arm on his bent leg. She quietly walked up the rusty stairs and, after a few minutes, arrived at the level he was on. She froze where she was when she noticed Joker's burgundy shirt looked like it had melted over his skin and the color was almost bleached out. His pants looked the same way and she noticed his green hair looked like it had been bleached as well; his gun harness with the guns still in it was resting on the floor next to him and he held a knife in his hand that rested over his knee. She bit her lip before slowly walking over to him.

"M-Mr. J?" she whispered and sat on her knees right behind him. She let out a small scream when he suddenly turned and pushed her onto the ground before hovering above her. Raven flinched when he stabbed the knife into the floor right next to her ear making her shake.

"Why the fuck are you here?" he growled. His eyes were crazed, but she could also see conflict in them.

"Y-You were gone for a long time," she stuttered on the verge of tears, "S-So I went looking for you."

"Why?" he growled, "because you love me? How stupid are you? I'm a killer; a psychopath. Love doesn't exist in my world." One hand continued to hold the knife next to her head and his other wrapped around her neck.

"I-I'm sorry." She gasped as breathing became difficult and tears started to escape her eyes.

"God damn it!" Joker suddenly yelled moving away from her and hitting the wall next to them.

"Even after jumping into those chemicals again I can't fucking get you out!" Raven sat up on her elbows and moved away a little watching him with wide eyes as he ran his fingers though his hair while resting his elbows on his bent legs. Every part of her body yelled at her to run, but instead she took a deep breath and slowly crawled over to him. She sat on her knees and moved to touch him, but stopped and pulled her hand away.

"I-I'm sorry." She whispered not sure what she was even apologizing for. She stared down at her hands which rested in her lap. Silence surrounded them for a while before Raven finally spoke again.

"I-I don't care about what you do or who you are," she whispered, "I'm not lonely when I'm with you. I don't care if you're a killer; I'm just happy when you come home or when you go out of your way to see all of my performances. Y-You've cared for me more than anyone else ever has. P-Please don't leave me…I'll do anything…I-I'll even jump into the chemicals if that will make you happy." She squeezed her eyes shut as tears flowed down her cheeks and her shoulders shook a little. Silence surrounded them again before Joker took a deep breath.

"You won't ever leave me," he said and she looked up to see him staring intently at her, "that's what you'll do."

"O-Ok," she whispered and he narrowed his eyes.

"Say it." He growled making her jump a little.

"I won't ever leave you," she said, "I promise." Joker pushed back his bleached hair that fell into his face and stood up after pulling his knife from the floor. He swayed a little and Raven quickly stood up to support him.

"Let's go home," he said walking away and Raven followed after grabbing the gun harness he, unusually, forgot to grab. She sat in the passenger seat of his car holding on for dear life while he sped through the streets of Gotham.

"Y-You just ran through four red lights," she squeaked out, "f-five." Joker rolled his eyes as he pulled into the garage of his building.

"I'm a criminal," he snapped, "like hell I'll obey the traffic laws." Raven's body shook as she remained sitting in the passenger seat and her fingers ached from holding onto the handle and seat for dear life. Joker opened her door and pulled her out after prying her fingers loose from her hold on the handle and seat.

"I'm going to take a shower," he grumbled as they walked into the house; "move mutt." Joker stepped over an excited Max and walked upstairs while Raven picked Max up. She decided to stay downstairs for a while to give Joker space and made Max do the same.

Raven watched TV and held Max in her lap to prevent him from running upstairs to Joker. After an hour she finally walked up stairs with Max and set him on his small bed before turning to look at Joker who was asleep on the bed, under the covers. She dressed into her pajamas before turning off the lights and crawling into bed. Joker was sleeping on his side and one arm was tucked under his pillow while the other rested in front of him. After hesitating for a minute, she carefully cuddled up to him. He stirred in his sleep and wrapped his arm around her making Raven give a small smile before falling asleep as well.

Later in the morning, Raven woke to Joker cussing from the bathroom. Max walked out of the bedroom and hopped down the stairs to go eat while Raven, reluctantly, got out of bed. She brushed her fingers through her messy hair while opening the bathroom door. Joker was standing by the sink dressed only in his boxers and black sweatpants scrubbing green hair dye off his hands and she looked down to see the container of hair dye all over the floor and staining the small rug. She blinked and rubbed her sleepy eyes. It wasn't like Joker to be so…clumsy.

Raven then remembered that he had mentioned that he jumped into the ace chemicals yesterday; that would make his second dip into those chemicals. She wondered if the chemicals were the cause of his sudden mood change. Raven sighed, of course they were responsible. She had to proceed with caution since he didn't seem to be controlled like he normally was.

"Let me help," she said softly while grabbing another box of green dye after cleaning up the dye on the floor. She knew the stained rug would have to be thrown out later.

"I don't need it." He growled drying his hands then snatching the box from her, making her jump a little. She took a deep breath before grabbing some gloves used for dying hair and moving to take the dye back from him.

"Please," she continued, "you're making a mess."

"I said I don't need it!" he yelled and shoved her away. Raven let out a small cry when she fell onto the hard tiled floor, slightly breaking her fall with her hands.

Joker pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to clear his head. Raven instinctively flinched away from him when he kneeled down and tried to touch her. Joker moved his hand away from her and sat on the floor before leaning against the counter's cabinets. He held his head in his hands as he rested his arms on his bent legs and took shaky breaths. Raven took a few deep breaths too before pushing her fear aside as she sat up a little. She cautiously crawled over to him then wrapped her arms around him from the side. Joker's body was tense under her hold; but after a few minutes, he let out a long breath and his body relaxed before he wrapped an arm around her. He pulled her to sit between his legs and wrapped both arms around her while she rested her head on his chest. They sat like that in silence for several minutes before Joker finally spoke.

"Just don't mess up my hair." He grumbled a little and Raven pulled away then.

"I won't." she replied in a quiet tone. Joker sat on the floor cross legged while Raven sat on the edge of the bath tub preparing the dye after putting the gloves on and wrapping an old towel around his shoulders. She noticed that he would sway a little before steading himself every now and then making her worry, but she kept quiet.

Raven wondered again if Joker was like this because his chemical dip was fresh and had a greater impact on his mind. She secretly prayed that this wasn't going to be a permanent change. Joker closed his eyes and leaned back into her touch as she dyed his hair, softly moving her fingers through his hair to ensure the dye didn't miss a spot. Once she was done she removed the gloves and set them on the counter on top of a paper towel.

"Ok," she murmured, "it just needs to sit for forty-five minutes. Um do you want breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry." He grumbled while leaning against the bathtub ledge still sitting on the floor.

"You haven't eaten in a while," she replied, "you should really eat something."

"I'm not hungry!" he snapped making her jump and her eyes filled with tears.

"W-Well you don't have to be a jerk when I'm only trying to help!" she snapped with shaky breaths before she quickly left the room, closing the bathroom door behind her.

Raven stared down at the pancakes she was cooking and sniffed while wiping away a tear. Max laid his head and front paws on her foot looking up at her with sad eyes clearly sensing her mood. She finished cooking the last of the pancakes and served her plate then sat at the dining table. She didn't have an appetite anymore though; so after taking a couple bites of pancakes, she just sat at the table and played with her food with a sulky look. Max laid by her feet and played with his small stuffed bear Raven had bought him. She could hear the shower running upstairs and realized that forty minutes had gone by so Joker was probably washing off his hair now that the dye had set. Raven let out sigh before grabbing one of the many catalogs on the table. She absently flipped through the catalog until her eyes landed on the housing section.

"Wow," she muttered looking at pictures of a beautiful mansion. She loved the white stone and the large swimming pool and patio in the backyard. There was even enough area in the backyard to add another building or garden. There was a fountain in the middle of the driveway that circled around and there were four garage doors. The mansion itself had many rooms and an elegant large open entry way. She's seen mansions like this before; hell, the one she grew up in was large enough to house a minimum of twenty people. There was something about this one that she loved. Perhaps because it was large, but condensed so you'd actually see the people you're living with.

"What are you wowing?" Joker muttered from behind her and she jumped a little as he wrapped his arms her from behind; his arms rested on her shoulders as his hands dangled in front of her. He leaned down putting half of his weight on her and looked over her at what she was looking at.

"I-I was just thinking how beautiful this house was." She whispered feeling him rest his chin on the top of her head.

"A little big for just two people." He muttered and she shifted in her seat.

"I was just admiring it." She replied quietly, "a-and it's not that big. At least not compared to my parents' home." Joker stared at the pictures for a while then huffed.

"Like hell you'll get that," he growled moving away from her, "give you that and then you'll be asking for fucking children…" Raven stood up on the verge of tears and walked up stairs. She quickly dressed into something warm and put on a coat before walking back downstairs where Joker was staring at the contents of the refrigerator. She grabbed a leash and hooked in on Max's collar who wagged his tail in excitement.

"Just where are you going?" Joker snapped when she opened the door.

"I'm taking Max on a walk," she replied, "and only because I don't want to be around you right now with how horrible you're acting." She shut the door then and Max ran ahead of her in excitement inspecting everything they passed. Joker's home was on the edge of the city; but, surprisingly, in an upscale area. His home was only a mile or so away from the main street in Gotham; So Raven walked with Max there and window shopped as Max looking around in excitement.

"Raven!" Raven turned at her name being called and looked over to see Lucy running up to her with a bright smile.

"Oh hay." Raven gave a small smile and Lucy frowned a little.

"Are you alright?" she asked noticing Raven's upset mood.

"I-I just got into a fight with my boyfriend is all," Raven admitted to her, "he's been really grumpy lately."

"Well how about lunch?" Lucy smiled and Raven blinked. Was it really already lunch time?

"Oh I have my puppy here," Raven replied looking down at Max.

"That's fine," Lucy said bending down to pat Max making him bark in happiness; "I know a place that allows dogs on their patio and they have heaters too come on." She linked her arm through Raven's and led her down the main street shopping mall. The restaurant she took Raven too was very nice and did indeed allow Max to lay under the table. They even had some dog food for him to eat while Raven and Lucy ordered their food. Despite being outside in the cold air, Raven was comfortable thanks to the heaters above them.

"So do you want to talk?" Lucy asked after they placed their order and Raven sighed. She did, but she didn't exactly know how to explain her situation. Saying: 'I'm dating Joker, the most dangerous and feared criminal who jumped into Ace chemicals again and has been in a bad mood since.' Probably wouldn't go over so well in a conversation.

"Not really," Raven replied and Lucy tilted her head; her strawberry blonde locks falling over her shoulder.

"Ok how about this then," she quickly smiled, "Jack was going to call you when the weekend was over, but since I'm here now I'll tell you. Our next play is Chicago and then we're moving into holiday musicals." Raven blinked at her and smiled politely at the waiter when he set down their meals.

"Chicago?" Raven asked when the waiter walked away and Lucy gave her an incredulous look.

"You've seriously never heard of it?" she asked in shock, "girl it's a very famous play they even made a move off it." Raven swallowed her food then.

"O-Oh." Was all she managed to say and Lucy shook her head before eating her food too. While they ate they talked about the current show Sweeny Todd and Lucy couldn't stop herself from complaining about how Ruby was starting to get too bossy and full of herself. Raven promised her she would be at the next play and Lucy smiled in relief.

They finished eating and Max had fallen asleep by Raven's feet while the two girls just talked and sipped on their drinks. A couple hours had gone by since they sat down for lunch and Raven didn't even realize until her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her coat pocket and opened the contact seeing it was a text from Joker; which his contact was just under J in her phone.

'Where are you?! It doesn't take that long to walk a damn dog!'

Raven sighed looking at the text. She could almost hear him growling at her. Lucy noticed this and raised an eyebrow while taking a sip of her water.

"It's your boyfriend isn't it?" She said making Raven jump a little.

"Y-Ya," Raven stuttered setting down cash on the table and standing; Lucy followed. "I should probably go before he freaks out." Raven continued and Lucy sighed.

"No," she scolded walking out with Raven and a fully energized Max followed on his leash, "he's been rude to you today right?"

"Very." Raven admitted and Lucy grabbed her wrist.

"So he has to know that's not ok," she said, "you can't just go running back to him right away. Give him the silent treatment; make him regret treating you that way and then go home." Raven bit her lip, she was sure Joker didn't regret anything he does or says.

"I-I don't know." She replied and Lucy started pulling her back to the mall part of the main street area.

"Tell him you're out and he'll have to wait for you," she scolded, "in the meantime we're going shopping and we're going to find Chicago on DVD for you watch to get ready for the show." Lucy stopped, "besides there's nothing he can do about it. It's not like he can go and destroy the city looking for you." Raven blinked at Lucy. Would Joker really start destroying the city if she didn't go back? She wouldn't put it past him especially since he had just jumped into those chemicals yesterday and seemed to be very uncontrolled at the moment…

"Um…" Raven started to say and Lucy crossed her arms and cut her off while stopping.

"Stand up for yourself girl," she scolded, "show him he can't get away with treating you badly."

"He doesn't." Raven defended, "It was only today; but he did say some harsh things…" Raven frowned a little and her phone buzzed again.

'Why are you not answering?! And where the hell are you?! Don't you dare make me come and get you!' Raven bit her lip and Lucy sighed then quickly snatched Raven's phone away and started typing a message and Raven panicked.

"Ran into my friend Lucy so I'm out shopping with her. Will be back when I feel like it and when you're in a better mood." Lucy read her message out loud and before Raven could react she sent it making Raven's stomach do a full flip.

Oh she was in so much trouble now…

"By the way," Lucy said handing Raven her phone back, "what does 'J' stand for?" Raven panicked then and quickly said the first thing that came to mind.

"Johnny," she blurted out Frost's first name, "He just doesn't like being called that so I call him 'J' or John." Raven smiled quickly trying to hide her panic. Luckily, Lucy was convinced and nodded.

"Well I recommend you refer to him as John," she advised, "You're still fairly knew to Gotham, but all the long term residents here get nervous when someone refers to 'J' since that's what many mobsters call the Joker." Raven let out a cough quickly pretending that it was due to a dry throat.

"R-Really," she stuttered, "I-I'll remember that." Lucy smiled and walked on the other side of Raven as they continued on towards the shopping area.

"Never seen him before," Lucy said suddenly, "but I've heard Joker is as scary as they come. There are also stories that he has massive mood swings." Raven picked up Max who started lagging behind them. If only Lucy knew how right those stories were and the fact that Joker was at the theater all the time…

"Oh look!" Lucy smiled pointing to a sale sign, "there's a sale at my favorite store; come on!" she pulled Raven inside as Raven continued to hold Max.

"Oh my gosh that's so cute!" Lucy held up a blue scarf and wrapped it around her neck while looking in the mirror. Raven held Max in one arm, thankful that he was still small enough to do so, as she looked though some scarves as well. Lucy had moved over to the clothing and Raven followed. Raven had to watch buying clothing since the closet her and Joker shared was starting to get full. She personally thought it was kind of sat that Joker had more cloths than she did; most of it was just duplicate shirts and pants.

"I'm going to try these on quickly," Lucy said and Raven nodded while sitting on the chairs by the fitting rooms and letting Max lay in her lap. Five minutes after Lucy started trying on her cloths, Raven's phone buzzed again. She let out a breath when she noticed it wasn't Joker, but she also wasn't sure if it was a good sign that he hasn't responded to Lucy's text either.

'Mom and I are flying out to Gotham tonight; need to meet with you tomorrow. It's very important. We have reservations at an Italian restaurant at six thirty in the evening for all of us. Sorry for the last minute warning and if it's inconvenient, but you have to be there.'

Raven blinked at the text from Oliver wondering what this was about. She sighed, this was going to be fun explain to Joker; especially after that text Lucy sent him. Her stomach turned again at the thought of the possibility of him coming out looking for her.

"Ok," Lucy smiled exiting the fitting rooms, "I'm going to check out and then we'll go." Raven bought a thick purple scarf that she wrapped around Max as she carried him.

"Oh," Lucy smiled, "there's the book store that sells DVDs too." Lucy pulled Raven into the store and Raven instantly enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere of the store. Lucy walked over to the DVD section while Raven looked at books while Max looked around the new area curiously, but remained quiet since Raven scolded him after he tried to bark. She picked up three books and put them in her basket. She walked over to the area where there were bored games and started looking at puzzles. She grabbed a couple thousand piece puzzles and a couple five hundred piece puzzles. Lucy walked up to her then waving a DVD in her hand with a bright smile.

"Here you go," she said placing it in Raven's basket.

"Thanks," Raven smiled, "I'll watch it as soon as I can." Lucy nodded and walked away to look at books. Raven's phone buzzed then and she set her basket down on a nearby table so she could pull it from her pocket. Max gave a small yawn then as she did this and looked up at her with tired eyes while she looked down at her phone.

'You better be home in one hour or I'm coming to get you myself Mouse and I don't give a damn who will see!' Raven bit her lip and quickly grabbed her basket and walked over to Lucy who was readying the summary of a book.

"I need to go now," Raven said, "Max is getting tired." Lucy smiled and scratched behind Max's ear a little.

"Alright," she said, "just remember; silent treatment for your boyfriend until he apologizes."

"I will." Raven replied inwardly knowing Joker would never apologize. She quickly purchased her things and walked out of the store and towards the path she took. Raven was actually surprised that she had been out for almost five hours and it was almost five in the evening. Max fell asleep in her arms as she walked home and made it there with ten minutes to spare. She cautiously opened the door noticing the lights were off in the main area. Raven set her bag down on the counter after laying the sleeping Max on his bed in the living room. She grabbed a glass of water then her bag before walking up the stairs and to the bedroom.

Joker was lying on the bed still dressed in only his pajama pants, sitting up a little against stacked up pillows with his head resting back against one and staring at his phone, probably timing her from when he sent his text. Raven knew Lucy's advice would get her into a lot of trouble, but she decided to go for it just to see what happens. She took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom, not even glancing at Joker. She started the shower after closing the bathroom door and undressed before putting on her robe while she waited for the water to heat up. Her stomach did a flip when Joker walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. It took all her strength not to jump or react in any way as he walked over and leaned against the glass wall of the shower while crossing his arms.

"When are you cooking dinner?" He asked flatly, "I'm starving." Raven took a deep breath and opened the glass door to the shower to test the temperature of the water.

"I don't know," she muttered, "I'm not hungry right now." Joker shifted a little at her response.

"Well I am." He growled and she restrained herself from glancing at him.

"Then make yourself something," she replied, "there's still leftovers."

"I don't want left overs." He muttered and she turned up the hot water to get the water to heat up faster.

"Then cook yourself something." She replied while grabbing a couple towels and setting them by the shower, not looking at him the whole time.

"I can't cook." He growled.

"Frost can pick something up for you then." She said impatiently just wanting to take a warm shower at this point.

"I want you to cook dinner," he snapped a little and she lost her temper.

"Well you already made it perfectly clear this morning that I'll never be a mother so quit expecting me to act like one!" she snapped unintentionally, "and I'm not your wife either, so just let me take my shower in peace; haven't you already been horrible enough to me today?!" Joker stood frozen to his spot and she took a deep breath trying to calm her temper which she rarely ever loses. She removed her robe and hung it up then stepped into the shower, the steam blocking Joker's view of her and her view of him. Raven kept her back to him as she stood under the hot water, just wanting him to leave her alone. She closed her eyes and took some deep breaths to calm herself then jumped a little when the door suddenly opened and Joker stepped into the shower with his pants and boxers still on. She instinctively covered herself with her arms and turned away from him. He grabbed her upper arms and pushed her into the wall. She had moved her hands out in front of her to stop the impact.

"Just who the hell do you think you are?" he growled into her ear, his body pressing against hers and she shook in fear as her front was pressed into the wall. It's been a long time since she's been afraid of him like this.

"What kind of bull shit has that friend of yours been filling your head with," he continued, "you're mine. You obey me. How dare you think that you can talk back to me like that and ignore me." Raven winced when his fingernails dug into her skin and tears started to escape her eyes.

"L-Let go," she stuttered and whimper when his hold only got more painful.

"You're being very annoying today." He continued in a dark tone and she sobbed a little.

"M-Mr. J you're hurting me." She sobbed and he blinked. He quickly released her and stepped away while she sank to the floor pulling her legs up and cowering close to the wall. Joker also sank to the floor and sat cross legged while holding his head in his hands; his pants completely soaked though as the water poured onto him.

"I didn't mean to." He said in a strained voice shaking his head a little like he was trying to clear it, "Don't cry…I didn't mean to hurt you." Raven continued to shake as she stared at him with fearful eyes. Joker stood up then and she didn't move as she watched him turn on the bath. He walked back over to the shower and turned it off before kneeling down and moving to pick her up; she flinched away though making him freeze.

"No, don't be afraid Raven," he said in a soothing voice, but there was also a hint of desperation behind his soothing tone, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear I didn't…I…I'm sorry." Raven looked up at him at his apology, shocked that he actually apologized. She knew then that he meant what he was saying; he wasn't just trying to manipulate her. His words were genuine. She shifted a little away from the wall and he took this as a cue to move again. He picked her up gently then got into the bathtub with her, never removing his pants; like he had completely forgotten that he was wearing them. He held her to him as the warm water surrounded them while they sat in the tub. Raven finally calmed down and after taking a few deep breaths, she spoke.

"I-Is it because of the chemicals?" she whispered and he stiffened a little.

"I just need time to find control again," he replied, "just don't leave; be patient with me. I'm not trying to hurt you intentionally." In other words, something like this might happen again.

"I-I was just admiring the house in the catalogue this morning," she whispered, "I wasn't planning anything. I-I know I'll never be a mother and I choose you over that; b-but please stop reminding me of that." Joker remained quiet after she spoke and wrapped his arms tighter around her, his head rested against hers.

"Raven I…" Joker spoke after a while sounding like he wanted to say something important. He paused for a long time then took a deep breath and moved away from her. She noticed him shake his head a little before he continued.

"It's time for dinner." He said, back to his usual self and he pulled her out of the tub then wrapped a towel around her. She dried herself off while he dressed into dry pants and boxers.

"I'll be downstairs." He muttered and left the room. She stared at the empty spot and looked at the tub while water drained from it, her heart skipped a little.

What was he going to say to her then? Raven bit her lip and sighed a little. She'll probably never know now…