Caged
Chapter 10
Ginny woke up with a start in unfamiliar surroundings with a crick in her neck. Memories of last night's midnight shenanigans flooded her as she realized that she never made it back to the Gryffindor tower. She also had Quidditch tryouts that was commencing in the next….15 MINUTES! She barely had any time at all to change into her training gear. House elves were starting to pour into the kitchen as she fled, running as fast as her legs could carry her to the common room.
There was no doubt about it, Ginny was late. Harry was already on the Quidditch pitch with the rest of her teammates and her juniors. The try-outs as always had attracted onlookers who were there to support their friends or well, ogle Harry. She could hear the hushed whispers and murmurs that were directed to her blatant lack of punctuality. A comment made however had not been so subtle.
"Weasley is taking advantage of the fact that her bloke is Captain of the team." That comment did not go unheard by Ginny, her teammates and apparently, Harry. Glaring in the direction of that vicious comment, Ginny made her way to her boyfriend or perhaps she should say, the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team who at the moment was wearing a look of disapproval on his face. The rest of her teammates including Ron, did not look too pleased as well.
"Harry, I'm …." Ginny started to apologize however Harry cut her off before she could say anything else.
"Weasley, 10 rounds around the pitch for tardiness!" He practically barked at her before turning to the group of students that were trying – out. –"We will join Weasley after her fifth round." His green eyes appraised Ginny pointedly.
She got the hint and began removing her training gear down to her tights and a sports bra that showed off the athletic figure she had worked so hard for. Not the wisest decision given the chilly weather and the morning dew but definitely not a wrong one judging by the gasps and admiration from the crowd. Pulling her hair into a messy pony tail, Ginny sprinted off to complete her punishment.
Her regular workouts during summer had paid off as she was able to maintain her speed and her stamina. Now that she thought about it, perhaps it was a good thing that Harry made her do laps around the pitch. Running always made Ginny feel better about everything. It certainly helped in making her feel better at present.
Before she ran, Ginny was angry, hurt and perhaps even embarrassed. Harry really did not have to talk to her like that. Her conscience was divided into two contrasting opinions. On one hand, Ginny was really upset and she definitely had every right to be. She had last seen her boyfriend yesterday at lunch and they were both from the same House! It was not as though she was dating Michael Corner from Ravenclaw.
They had not parted on great terms either. Nor did they on the day of the attack at Hogsmeade, she thought to herself bitterly. On another hand, her conscience reminded her that this morning, he was not her boyfriend, he was the Quidditch Captain. He could not be biased towards her. She'd been late, she had to admit as her conscience explained that she was being a tad bit unreasonable.
If she had woken up early, perhaps they would have spoken or even snuck in a few kisses here and there. Ginny felt wistful. She missed Harry, her Harry. Now it was a different matter altogether. She had to show him that she belonged on the team. With that thought, Ginny pushed on, not realizing when the rest of the team had joined her behind.
Ginny refrained from talking much during the practice. She barely exchanged more than a few words with her fellow Chasers, Demelza Robins and Dean Thomas who incidentally was her ex-boyfriend. Her head was quite literally in the game. She studied her fellow juniors with rapt attention searching for a performance flaw that might prove to be advantageous to her.
A fourth year student or her replacement, Cordelia Thompson seemed to be performing rather brilliantly. The crowd of onlookers definitely shared her opinions. She was Ginny's assigned replacement. In spite of the competition, Ginny remained confident. She loved Quidditch. It was her life.
She mounted the broom when it was her turn, ignoring the Quidditch Captain, the prat of a Keeper and basically everyone else that she knew. She could distinctly hear Harry instruct his Beaters not to go easy on her. In fact, he encouraged them to make things as difficult for her as possible. Game on….. Potter! Ginny thought to herself.She had never worked harder for anything else in life than she did for Quidditch. She would teach those Beaters a lesson. Ginny Weasley was the girl on fire. She had her eyes set on the Quaffle that Harry held as he stood on the Quidditch pitch. He was about to throw it any second…. NOW!
Before she knew it, Ginny zoomed dangerously towards the Quaffle eager to score within the first few minutes of the mini – game. Her dark and serious mood had automatically lifted and her exhaustion had faded away as she felt the chilly autumn wind rush against her. Her scowl had converted to a joyful grin. She felt like a bird that had been set free.
She grabbed the Quaffle, swerving narrowly to avoid a Bludger that could quite literally have killed her. She sped towards the hoops, eager to score and she did! Ginny Weasley managed to score in the first thirty seconds of the game. This was a feat that was quite normal for her but today it felt special as she defeated Cordelia Thompson and everyone else that had tried out to be her replacement. The fact that her Beaters and their Bludgers were extra bloodthirsty today. She could hear the distant sounds of cheers and applause from the spectators.
That was the least of Ginny's concerns at the moment. She watched as Dean caught the Bludger from the hoops tossing it into another direction where the Beaters were. This was a three minute game and a minute had already gone by. Ginny had no time to spare. She sped off in the direction of the Beaters as though her broom was on fire. During their tryouts, her competitors had already scored a second time, however, they did not have bloodthirsty Bludgers hot on their trail. Ginny was not going to complain, definitely not.
Her quick reflexes were in an overdrive today as she sped to retrieve the Quaffle. Her peripheral vision indicated that there was a killer Bludger heading her way. She had to sacrifice scoring early because then the Bludger would definitely kill her or throw her off her broom. She was a milli – second too late as the Bludger brushed past her rib painfully.
Ginny gasped from the pain feeling as though one of her brothers had punched her in the rib. Her performance would definitely be flawed now thanks to this lapse. Doing her best to ignore the pain and the noise coming from the spectators, Ginny put her all into her last minute managing to score twice, the same amount that her competition had scored. If it was not for that bloody Bludger, she could have thrown the Quaffle in the hoop at least five times over! She was that sure of herself. She also knew that Harry and the rest of her team-mates were well-aware of the fact that she was capable of more.
A whistle sounded, effectively ending any chances she had of redeeming herself. Harry's expression was crystal clear as she reached the ground. The rest of them approached knowing that he was going to reveal the remaining members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Panting heavily and sweating like a pig in spite of the cool weather. Ginny sat down on the dampened grounds earning herself surprised looks from the rest. She braced herself for the inevitable and willed herself not to be disappointed. She would find another way to play and practice Quidditch.
As she had predicted, she had not gotten her place as Chaser back. Harry had made her a reserved player instead. His reasons were simple. Firstly, her performance was lacking. Secondly, it also showed that she was not completely healed from the incident. And of course, there was the whole reason that he was her boyfriend and not giving Thompson the position would have meant that he was being biased towards Ginny.
The try-outs were officially over. Ginny waited for everyone to leave the pitch before approaching Harry who was quite surprisingly, hostile.
"Look Gin, I don't have to defend my decisions to you, alright." He said rather tersely.
"I was not going to bring that up." Ginny replied, hurt showing plainly on her face.
"Then?" Harry waited for Ginny to continue, still not quite wanting to believe her. That, quite naturally, did it and once again, Ginny flared up.
"Perhaps you may have forgotten that I am your girlfriend, but I haven't. And you know what, it's getting mentally exhausting to be with you! I don't even know what you want anymore, Harry. If you want to end this, end it! Just have a little bit of fucking respect for me! That's the least fucking thing that you could do!" Ginny yelled, shaking in anger.
Harry was quiet and apparently, stunned. The couple's fight was interrupted by Ron, Hermione and Luna's approach.
"Ginny you need to calm down okay! Harry was being fair! Plus you're still a reserved." Once again, her very brother came to the defense of his best friend. Ginny turned towards him, her brown eyes flashing with pure anger.
"You fucking prat! Don't you open your mouth! I will kill you! This was not even about Quidditch! No… no, Hermione let me speak! You are absolutely right…," Ginny said as she diverted her attention back to Ron –"Harry was fair. And I will earn my position back on the team." Ginny promised, full of determination before stalking off to the showers.
She was exhausted both mentally and physically. There was so much of negativity surrounding her. She was….tired. That's all… She thought to herself as she scrubbed herself clean from all the sweat and grime. She did not shed tears from her fight with Harry. There would be no tears of misery, heartbreak or anger, she decided. Her heart only ached at her disappointment of not making the Gryffindor team. That would have truly helped her for the ambition that she had for herself at the end of her seventh year. She would make good on that promise… even if it was going to kill her.
Naturally a Saturday comprised of Hogsmeade trips for everyone however, Ginny had plans for otherwise. She headed back to the Gryffindor towers clad in a grey, comfy sweater and maroon joggers with sneakers. Her red hair was wet and tangled from her shower and she was completely make up free. That, did not skip the notice of her dorm mates.
"Hey Ginny!" Parvati called from one of the plush, red velvet sofas in the Common Room, -"That's a nice look that you are sporting. Very…homeless chic, I'd say." She, Lavender Brown and a few other girls burst into giggles.
-"It's called clean and freshly showered, Parvati." Ginny retorted –"You really ought to try it some time. Perhaps your shallow personality might disappear with all that gunk you put on your face." Her voice was sweet and dangerous –"It might take you more than a couple of showers though. How do you girls say it? Oh! Toodles!" Ginny waved her hand in a false, extravagant manner before stalking off to her room.
There, she found Hermione and Luna seated on her four-poster bed.
"About time…" Hermione started –"Luna and I were worried about you."
"Why?" Ginny asked nonchalantly –"I'm absolutely fine, girls." She patted both of them on their knees as she made herself comfortable on her own bed.
"Ginny, don't lie to us please! We know how much being a Chaser for the Gryffindor team meant to you. We know your dreams, your ambitions…" Hermione said as she hugged Ginny, the girl that she had come to view as her younger sister and her best friend over the years they had spent together.
Ginny hugged Hermione back, basking in the warmth of her sisterly embrace.
"Yeah Ginny, all the creatures that are present in this room right now know that you are lying." Luna added, making Ginny smile.
"The only creature here is you, Lu." Ginny teased as she motioned for the two girls to lie down on either of her sides on the bed.
"I can't. The bed is too small." Hermione protested.
"Hermione! You are the Brightest Witch of the Age. Yet sometimes, you make the most 'muggle' comments." Ginny waved her wand so that her bed expanded to cater to the trio. The three girls settled comfortably, each sighing at the comfort of being in a warm and soft bed.
"This is heaven." Hermione sighed blissfully while staring at the ceiling.
"It's because of these creatures known as Pwillows. They lure you to fall asleep by living on your mattress." Ginny quipped, gaining Luna's attention.
"Really?" Luna asked gullibly. –"That's interesting. I have to look them up."
"No Luna. Ginny here is being a prat. By Pwillows, she means Pillows." Hermione explained while hitting Ginny playfully with said pillow.
"Don't think that you can evade the Granger Inquisition by changing the topic." Hermione reminded her. Ginny groaned quite audibly sounding as if the Whomping Willow had died.
"Ginny….."Hermione warned the mischievous redhead although she could not help but smile at the younger girl's tactics to evade her.
"Alright, alright."Ginny gave in –"What do you want to know?"
"What happened? What's on your mind? Harry wouldn't tell us anything." Luna immediately asked.
Ginny shrugged –"We had a fight or well, I got angry. I approached Harry after the try – outs but he assumed that we were going to fight because of the fact that he did not give the position to me. He was rude and defensive… and I…. well…. I got angry." She trailed off as she stared at the ceiling.
"Be honest, were you going to say something about that Ginny?" Hermione asked. She knew Ginny better than she knew herself at times.
"We all know what the answer is. Yes, I would have –"Ginny sighed while explaining –"But I was not asking for an explanation, Mione. I knew that I did not perform my best today. I got hit by the Bludger. The entire team knew that I was capable of more and in spite of that, Harry did not pick me because of the conflict on interest. It sucks but I know better than to ask for one." Disappointment leaked from Ginny's uneven voice.
Continuing, she said –"Quidditch means the world to me. I used to sneak out and practice because my brothers were protective, chauvinistic idiots that did not let me participate. I came to Harry because I was hoping to see him care about my failure not just as my Quidditch Captain, but as my friend. And most importantly, as my boyfriend. Was that really too much to ask for?"
"Not at all, Gin-"Hermione replied quietly as she took in how depressed the girl before her appeared to be.
"I felt bad. I truly felt like shit after I screwed up - "Ginny admitted –"In fact, the Bludger left a bruise –"She lifted her sweater only to display a bluish green tinge, the size of a Quaffle on her ribs. Hermione gasped, horrified. She began insisting that Ginny visit the Hospital Wing.
"It's fine-"Ginny said –"You get hurt worse than this. Besides Harry's lack of support hurt a thousand times more." She shrugged, glassy eyed as she stared at the ceiling. Her friends were quiet and contemplative as they took in the information that Ginny shared
"I just feel that you and Harry are no longer on the same page." Luna finally broke the silence. Her usual dreamy voice had a more somber note to it.
"I can't believe that I am saying this but Luna is right –"Hermione agreed. Continuing –"Harry is going through a lot right now dealing with everything that happened. Not to mention the fact that he has definitely been instrumental in re-building the Ministry of Magic and the wizarding United Kingdom in the last couple of months."
"He is struggling with the attention now more than ever. He has not had the chance to mourn anyone. Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore, Professor Lupin etc since." Luna added on. The dreamy quality that had been missing in the earlier part of this conversation had finally returned.
Luna sat up and began braiding her hair as she spoke –"He also has troubles sleeping sometimes, did you know?" She looked at Ginny as if expecting her to know this. –"I personally feel as though he has some kind of Post – Traumatic Stress Disorder too but he's just trying to keep himself together, for everyone." Luna's voice had an accusatory tone to it.
Needless to say, Ginny was unpleasantly surprised. That revelation just about made her feel as though she was the worst girlfriend in the entire world. Her best friends knew more about her boyfriend's feelings than she did. In that moment however she realized how little time they had spent together recently. Naturally her friends would know more about him. She tried to recall the last time he had shared anything with her. In fact, the last time they had spent any time alone together during was during summer when she had that migraine fainting spell.
"Gin! Gin!" A nudge on the rib, sadly, the bruised side snapped Ginny out of her thoughts.
"You've been through so much too, Ginny." Hermione added on kindly –"Perhaps the both of you just need to re-establish that connection."
"I think we may be done, Mione." Ginny admitted, feeling vulnerable as she finally voiced the nagging thought that had been her biggest fear for months. –"All these months, Harry has done nothing but push me away. And I… I did everything I could to keep us together. I literally became a public figure for him. Having to look picture – perfect all the time with no substance beyond that takes a lot out of you. It's lonely….No one wants to know Ginny Weasley, badass Quidditch player, funny girl with skills in administering a Bat Bogey Hex. Not even her own boyfriend…."
The more she shared, the more she realized that this was in fact, reality. Ginny had been running away from this for some time now. She had wronged herself by choosing not to see the truth for months.
"I think you and Harry need to talk." Hermione said abruptly. Ginny shrugged, numbed.
"Don't just shrug, Ginny!" The older girl scolded, startling her.
Truth be told, in that moment, Ginny felt as though she was a crushed third year again when Harry had asked Cho Chang to go to the Yule Ball with him. Although she'd spent the entire last couple of hours willing herself not to cry, Ginny broke down effectively shocking her two close friends.
"Ginny…."Both girls hugged her understanding her pain and her heartbreak in their own ways.
"It hurts so much to say this but I really think that we are done." Ginny mumbled once she had mostly calmed down.
"Don't give up just yet, Gin." Luna advised her –"Things may not be fine now but think of all the reasons why you love him and he loves you then fight for it! Be there for him! Be his friend!"
Although she nodded her head to Luna's words of advice, deep down inside, Ginny knew otherwise. Taking a deep breath, Ginny did her best to rearrange her expression into something cool and composed.
"Where is Harry anyway?" She asked.
"Hogsmeade with Ron." Hermione responded.
"You aren't going?" Ginny looked curiously towards the two girls.
"We wanted you to come along." Hermione said as she eyed Ginny with concern.
Ginny shook her head almost immediately –"I don't want to. I'm not in the mood."
"Perhaps you and Harry can talk then?"
"No. No. I'm really not in the right state of mind to talk to anyone. I'll talk to Harry tomorrow, please. I'd really like to sort out my thoughts first before anything else." Ginny said firmly before swearing the girls to secrecy about the talk they just had.
"Do you want us to go?" Hermione asked cautiously.
Ginny nodded her head in the affirmative –"Talking to the two of you really cleared my head. I just think that I need time alone to sit and think about myself. What's right for us? What's right for me?"
"Absolutely Gin. We love you and we will be there when you need us." Luna said as she hugged Ginny again.
It took a lot of convincing on her part but finally Hermione and Luna both left. It was as though they believed that she was going to throw herself off the Astronomy Tower. Ginny was finally left to her own thoughts. Thoughts that were borderline suicidal, heartbroken, crushed…. Thoughts that left her feeling numbed on the outside yet chaotic inside.
Of one thing Ginny was certain of. The next day was about to bring a new future. For now, she was caged to her thoughts….