The Wrong Snape at the Wrong Time
Chapter 11: That's Amortentia
Number 1… I could kill Severus Snape….
Number 2…He wore the same bloody robes, ALL OF THE DAMNED TIME, so why was it so daft that I had a clothespin on my nose?
Earlier that evening…
I am quite sure that they heard me shouting like a banshee from my office next to the Arithmancy classroom, throughout the halls of Hogwarts, and right down to the dungeons.
This was not to be believed…what an asshole!
Again he hinted that Dumbledore would be most disheartened to learn that I was hesitant to help the sick youth attending the school. How could I turn my back on two helpless children that had succumbed to spattergroit?
Simple. I wished not to be alone with Snape in the dungeons. Period. That should suffice in lessoning the stain on my apparently guilty soul.
Really.
Dragon pox last week…and now this shit!
Interesting , that I failed to see or hear amongst the students talk of illness at Hogwarts or anyone visiting sick friends in the Hospital ward.
So, I did what any person with such severe dismay and doubt would do.
I finally asked Poppy Pomfrey about it.
Well, I would have, if she would have answered the door to her office in the Hospital wing.
So, I had no choice but to go to the dungeons and offer my services in assisting Snape, because I cared for the Headmaster….because I was a complete fool…
The Headmaster…Albus Dumbledore…who apparently showed me no mercy in regard to my being in Snape's despicable presence both during and after work hours, and who I never had to heart to refuse.
But this would be the last time…okay the eleventh to last time…because somehow I got the sinking feeling that Snape was hexing and causing illness to students just so I would work with him, for Merlin knew why!
Or, the Greatest Liar That Ever Lived…was quite simply just lying to me out of spite…
And to ruin any chances I had of actually having free time to go with Aurora to Hogsmeade and actually trying to actively do something constructive regarding my impending spinsterhood, because I worked with Snape so much and hardly went out anymore.
Dammit…I loathe him so…
We would grow old and lonely together….
Eww….
Shit….
ARRRRGGGHHH!
Oh, Merlin, dear Merlin, please NO!
So I approached the door to the dungeons and smelled several different scents that permeated the air even before I entered the lair of doom and desperation.
Er, Snape's office.
There was a something wrong though. I clearly remember concocting the potion to counteract spattergroit during my NEWT level potions classes at my school. It never leaves you. It was one of those potions that smelt hideous and wouldn't leave your nostrils for days.
I regretted to inform The Potions Master also known to me, in my head, as a niffler's ass, that something had gone wrong and it was spoilt. Apparently, Mister Potions Genius, did something wrong because the draft was not brewed correctly. I smelt leathery… like from musty books. And a metallic smell… like a blood lollipop almost, er, I would know, as I opened the gates to the apocalypse or his office.
Not sure which.
He heard me enter and looked up from a cauldron and was now staring at me with an intensity that frightened me. Very odd. He was very still as he surveyed me. He said nothing and I wished he would.
I looked around at all of the books in his office and tried to ignore the jars with the disgusting contents floating around in them.
I panicked now all the time when I was around him. He just wouldn't quite it about the staring, and what he knew, and other such rubbish. The bloody moron was a legilimans and supposedly he claimed to be a very good one, and he could certainly see what I was thinking whenever he wished. So I would have to be on guard in case he tried something.
He still had not forgiven me regarding the scene I pulled at the picnic.
Well, the damned fool stared at me and did touch my hair…twice!
"Vector, what is wrong with you… currently that is?"
Okay, an insult and he sounded like he usually did. That was normal.
"Er, nothing."
"Come in. I have several potions brewing that I would like to you help me finish." He gestured to four cauldrons that had flames licking underneath them.
I wrinkled my nose and approached him cautiously.
"You look terrible. Don't wrinkle your face like that."
"I have already told you, you asshole, that I don't have wrinkles. Remember? When I fell into the lake with the Giant Squid?"
"How could I ever forget, Professor Vector?" He gave me a smirk that I knew was trying to mask an onslaught of evil laughter at my expense.
"Well then, what do you detect? Smell? Two are from NEWT level students that I need to mark and I gathered that considering there was an outbreak of spattergroit, we could, as they say, kill two birds with one stone."
Or… I thought….kill off the best years of my life, with an annoying asshole of a Potions Master…
"It seems that the fools forgot the labels… detention again. They have just made more work for us…regrettably."
Regrettable? Then why was the fool's lip curling with apparent satisfaction, and why did I detect a smug, victorious expression on his face, and a look that seemed to be calculating, with just a tad of waiting to pounce in it?
Oh sweet Merlin, it's true! I felt sick with fear. He was going to try something again!
I went with my gut. I asked what the potions were and he identified them. Except one, and the pleasant color and sparkling fumes could only be…
The sonofabitch! Well, I would deflect this…
"What do you smell, er, right now Snape? Is that not Amortentia?" I asked with what I thought was not an ounce of guile present.
With that nose of his, this had to be a walk in the park. He probably smelled two times quicker than the average person.
The lip curled deviously and he muttered silkily as he looked down at one of the cauldrons.
"Wouldn't you like to know."
The note of teasing and mysteriousness made me nervous.
" Allright then, Vector…to me, this potion is scentless, if you must know and cannot contain your curiosity."
"My ass….how?" I blurted out.
"No love interest, that is how," he said simply, in a low, deep voice.
"Oh." My mouth formed an "o" in astonishment.
"Would you like to know what I did smell, years ago, when I was in love…once?" He asked quietly and the look he gave me doubled the trepidation and shock I received when he said, er, what the hell he just said to me…had I just heard wrong?
"Er, not particularly…no thanks, Snape. I assured him of this. No need to dwell.
He cut me off and said,"…the perfume that she wore for years. Not that she ever needed any because her own smell appealed to me so strongly…and freshly laundered clothes…that muggle fabric softener smell…."
I didn't believe him. He wore the same robes all of the time…what a liar!
"Well, what happened to her…the object of your affection?"
"She is dead, Vector. And I will never smell that smell again. Only from memory…regarding this particular draft, the person has to be living or one smells nothing identifiable…nothing distinct." He looked a bit strained.
Dammit…why was I feeling sorry for him?
"I had Potions with her…I never, ever told her….and that was true… until most recently."
Most recently what? It couldn't be that he attempted to launder his robes, could it?
"I brewed Amortentia for a class…and I do believe I detected a faint, a very faint aroma…" he informed me in a matter of fact fashion.
"Really?" I scoffed.
He nodded silently.
"Does that mean?"
"I dearly hope not, however, one does not exactly have control over such things…surely you would agree with me, Vector?" And he eyed me pointedly.
"Ok, Snape, hold your hippogriffs, for just one second there." I held up a hand in protest.
"You were saying, Vector…" One black eyebrow raised.
"Now, this is me, me, Vector. Septima…Vector….whom you hate with undying enmity. I was, er, touched by your story so I wish to give you a piece of advice. This is not going to work for you. And as your friend…er, colleague, let me help you out by saying that you just started to talk about your interest in some girl whom you were in love with when you were younger, and then you start talking about some new scents. Ok, now, the part about you smelling something again…if you tell the girl you now like what you just told me…you don't have a chance in hell of ensnaring her, er, her liking you back….just saying…er, hope it helps."
I rambled like an insane person.
Because I was dying to know…who the hell it was?
And then I realized that I might…I just might be a little jealous.
And then it hit me…and believe me, I have never cursed myself so hard in my life. I, er, had a reaction, to this surprising news and revelations.
An involuntary and highly unpredictable one…
I started to dry heave. My breath was coming in gasps, and I started to wave my hands around my face…like a crazy person. And for some reason, I couldn't help it.
And Snape, well, he looked a bit nervous at my hyperventilating.
"Are you all right? What the hell is the matter, Vector?" he asked, wide-eyed.
I said nothing because I couldn't speak.
"Sit down."
"No." It came out through a stricken voice.
"Sit, Vector, or I will hex you if I have to," he demanded but he looked concerned.
"I have calming draft…" he tried again, and swept off to a cupboard to remove a glass vial.
"Need air…" I just barely got out of my windpipe.
"Well, go then, I will finish up…I would hate to tell Dumbledore, though."
The manipulative skunk!
"Oh, so you… will be meeting… with him… this… evening?" It was passing. I was at least making sentences again.
"No, I have…other business but perhaps before I leave…" he offered, watching me carefully.
I was breathing heavier again. He was going to the Dark Lord…it was never safe…
He took a step toward me and looked even more unsure of what to do or what I would let him do to aid me.
"Really now, what is all this? Did something happen before you came here? You look as though you've seen a lethifold," but his voice was calm and humoring.
"Maybe you should lie down, Vector. You look pale and…"
"NO!" I was not lying in his bed. The bed he was surely going to use with someone else. If he refrained from telling her his life story and how some chit from Hogwarts had turned him down. Perhaps he did have a shot. Always said the black eyes were sexy…honestly…
"I am having a bad reaction to some potion," I lied, forgetting that I hadn't…
"You fool… you didn't ingest anything, and the only thing that can affect individuals even without ingestion was the Amortentia."
"That must be it then." And I didn't recall that being what the students in his NEWT level were brewing that week.
And this made me very nervous now
He tutted. "There are no known allergins in ingredients that compose Amortentia. Actually, most find it quite pleasant. A rush of familiar, attractive smells…"
"Er, not me." I shook my head violently.
He looked at me, a bit troubled troubled, and then I looked away.
"I have never known you to act like this. Tell me what happened to you. What is bothering you, Septima?"
Why did the slight sound of coercion in his voice bother me? I hadn't detected it before.
"Nothing."
"I can't be just the fumes. Did someone say something to you?"
"No, but I did have a bad dream the other night. It unsettled…or…"
He was up to something, so I decided I need a little insurance. And I also knew I had to play up how much the fumes were bothering me. Unbelievable as it may be. because the bastard was smarter than that. Smarter than me…
Why the fu…why was I telling him this?
"You must be patient with them then. It is to be expected in these times. Remind yourself that is all it is, and you will forget it eventually. We all do," he said soothingly.
I summoned a vial near a table and transfigured it into a clothespin…for my nose.
He looked at me, fearful.
"Vector, what in Merlin's name are you doing. Have you gone daft?"
I shook my head which was difficult with a tight clothespin currently on my nose.
He gave a vicious, amused smirk and then continued. It looked as though something had just occurred to him.
"What do you smell Vector? Or rather tell me what you did smell?"
Defeat, I wanted to say. Desperation… hopelessness… what did they smell like?
"Oh, flowers, the wind…. long walks on the beach…" I lied and refrained from making eye contact with him.
"No, I'm afraid you don't," he informed me coldly, and apparently unconvinced.
"How would you know? You know so much that you even know what I smell now?" I laid it on thick.
And then I realized that I had goofed again. The moron was talking to me in circles and now I was distracted, just enough for him to look in my eyes and sense that…
"I can tell." His gaze penetrated mine.
"Er, what?" I tried to play dumb.
"You are lying to me again. Is this becoming a bad habit Vector?" He sing-songed nastily.
"Allright fine, then. I smell my toad, my owl, my…."
"Liar," he whispered silkily.
"Ok, what then?" I crossed my arms, livid. I sounded ridiculous with a clothespin on my nose, deterring my pronunciation.
"That is not what I saw." He said it very plainly.
"What did you see, Snape, like Trelawney now, are we?"
He didn't answer me.
,
"What did you see you bloody moron?" I stamped my foot impatiently and realized I just acted like I was five.
And then the look he gave me was…hard. He looked as if he would like nothing more than to…
"Bluebells, because they are your favorite flower…pumpkin juice, because I gather that I see you drinking it in the Great Hall, and…" he paused, "because you spend your time guarding and inspecting it by the off chance you believe I would slip something, and something else perhaps…"
"Jasmine? my favorite perfume…" Like a dolt I yelled this out.
"Yes, that would seem so. Well, it is rather late Vector and we need to get up early tomorrow. I rather think that will be all."
Why was I being dismissed. He was trying to make a point and then…
"Fine, bye. I've had enough this evening. And you did something to me…I will get to the bottom of this…and you can kiss my bloddy arse while you're at it!" I was enraged, he was toying with me.
But he was once again, calm and quiet.
"I could. But then I would most likely be fired for making advances toward a colleague, and knowing our Headmaster, he would probably issue a statement that I resigned." He rolled his eyes.
I turned a violent shade of purple-red. I know I did…
"I shall never talk to you again." I mouthed in disbelief. "Because you are an asshole,Snape."
"However, we did learn a lot. Did we not, this evening?" He ignored me, and my foul language.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I spluttered. "And why am I still talking to you? Didn't I just curse you and make it clear that I never wish to speak to you again."
"Somewhat clear…with the colorful language you incoherently spew that strongly resembles rowdy patrons at the Hog's Head in the early hours of a Saturday I would imagine." He appeared perfectly unruffled.
"And I have no idea, just so you know. I was just making conversation, Vector."
I wish I could just smack that smirk off of his face!
"Whatever, Snape. I have had enough. Good night!" I turned on my heel and fled.
I saw myself out and shut the door walking quickly to my rooms. Wouldn't due for imaginations to run wild at Hogwarts if anyone saw my leaving his rooms this late…
And then it occurred to me…his last statements…was the?
Was the bloody moron trying to hint to me what he had smelled?
Oh…dear….Merlin…