Chapter 10 - Too Good to be True
Sauli is still looking at me with a straight face. I really wish he'd just say something. Oh wait, he's starting to smile. "Adam, that's just amazing! You must be pretty good to make it on a show like that. Is there any way you can give me a taste of what America gets to look forward to?" Sauli asked. Oh my, Sauli's happy about it. He wants to hear me sing right now. Holy cow, I'm so nervous. I'm more nervous to sing in front of Sauli alone than I was in front of the judges. I can feel the room getting hotter. I must sing though, for Sauli.
Singing *I wanna rock with you, all night. Dance you into day, sunlight. I wanna rock with you all night. We're gonna rock the night away*
I had my eyes closed the whole time I sang. I open my eyes and look at Sauli. Oh god, I must have said something that insulted him. He's crying. I must be terrible. I knew it. This was a huge mistake. The judges probably only allowed me on the show to humiliate myself. "Sauli, I'm sorry for whatever I said that upset you. I have a strange way of wording things," I said. After hearing my voice, Sauli wiped away his tears. Oh, his blue eyes are so pretty. "Adam, the reason why I'm crying isn't because of what you said. I'm crying because your voice is so incredible. I could tell all the emotion you put behind your voice. It was so clear, so smooth, and so perfect," Sauli said. Did I hear that correctly? Sauli loved my voice? I guess I am that good. "You aren't angry at me for getting on the show, are you? If I become famous, I won't forget about my friends that I have now. I'd let you guys have as much stardom as you want," I said. Sauli's walking closer to me. What's going on? Should I be worried? "Adam, I know you won't forget about us. Come here, I need to give you a hug," he said. Sauli came up to me and hugged me. This is the closest I've ever been to him. I can smell his cologne. It smells so good.
I'm about to pull away from the hug when Sauli pulled me back in. He caressed his hands in my hair. This seems so strange, but in a good away. Sauli is staring me down in the eyes. I don't know what's going on. I was about to pull away again. Sauli noticed again. This time he grabbed my hand and started rubbing it. I hope this isn't a trick or anything. This is weird behavior coming from Sauli. Sauli smiled at me and of course I smiled back at him. He pulled me so close to him in this hug. "Sauli, what's...," I said. Before I could continue my sentence, Sauli brought his lips to mine. We're kissing. Oh my god, I think I might just die. I can see the fireworks going off in my mind. I never thought Sauli liked me like this. Why did he choose to kiss me now? If he knew I was gay, why didn't he tell me he was?
Sauli pulled away about after a minute. That was the best minute I've ever had in my life. "Sorry about that, Adam. That was totally an obnoxious thing for me to do," Sauli said. Obnoxious, how is that obnoxious? That was the best moment in my life. That was even better than making it on American Idol in my eyes. How am I supposed to tell him I liked it? Well, here goes nothing. "Sauli, that was not obnoxious. Does this mean you...have feelings for me?" I asked. I hope he does secretly. I'm not going to push my luck, though. He's smiling at me. I think that's a good sign. "Adam, yes I do have feelings for you. I must admit when I got here, I developed a crush on you the moment I saw you. I thought that a guy as hot and cute as you would be taken by some preppy cheerleader or something. When some of the students said you were gay, I was hoping that you were. I was never scared by the idea that you could be. Well, you seemed totally nice. You right now are my best friend. I have liked you from day one, but I didn't want to tell you because I was nervous. After hearing you sing with that much emotion, I knew that I was right when I fell for you. You are like the perfect guy. And well, I love you," Sauli said.
There is absolutely no way this is real life. I keep pinching myself to wake up from this incredible dream. The thing is that I'm still in the exact same place as I was in the dream. This isn't a dream, this is my reality. Sauli and I just kissed. Sauli pronounced his love for me. This is all too good to be real, but I know this has to be. Sauli backed up a bit from me. He probably wishes he could read my mind right now. I need to tell him how I feel too. If I don't let him know, then how are we supposed to go anywhere, in our friendship or in a relationship? Why am I crying? I'm happy that I can be with Sauli. What am I so worried about? Oh yeah, I don't want him to get bullied because he's my boyfriend.
"Sauli, words cannot describe how happy I am right now. I want you to know that I fell for you when I first saw you. I'm scared for you, Sauli. The kids at our school are crude when it comes to people like us. I have been beat up before because I'm gay and they honestly don't know if I am gay or not. It started out as a rumor in middle school and it is still going around. I actually am gay. I wanted you to be mine but I stopped myself because I don't want you to get hurt. I will seriously be very protective of you if people think they can bully you. You are the only person I've truly had feelings for. There's so much about me that you don't even know. I want you to be mine, Sauli. That kiss had me feeling that spark people always talk about. I saw my whole future flash before me. I saw you and me, living together, and maybe raising a family. I want you so bad, but I understand if you don't want to be together. I'm just worried for you. I love you, Sauli," I said.
"Adam, I understand that you don't want me to get hurt. But Adam, I want you. I am tired of acting like I'm somebody who I'm not. I love you and I want to show the whole world that I do. I feel that this is what I'm supposed to do with my life. I don't care what other people say about it. There's going to be people who judge us even though they don't know us. Are we supposed to please everyone else? I don't think so. I think you and me could be perfect together. I mean, yeah we'll have some misunderstandings but I could never stop loving you. Adam, will you go out with me?" Sauli asked.
He asked me out. Sauli asked me out. Of course I want to go out with him. What will Jessica, Tommy, and Amanda think? If I say yes, we'd go back out to them and then what? Are we going to tell them right then and there that we're dating? I know none of them know that I've been secretly in love with Sauli since day one. I made it very hard for them to figure it out. They will be in for a shock. I can't skip the chance to date Sauli. He's all I've wanted my whole life.
"I will go out with you, Sauli. How do you want to tell Jess, Amanda, and Tommy? We don't want to come out too strong with them. We can't just go out there and start kissing. I don't know how we'd break it to them lightly. I was thinking we could come out holding hands and then I could tell them that we had a long talk which led to some deep secrets being let out. I can say that we both came out saying that we love each other and that we thought dating wouldn't be such a bad idea," I said. "Let's do this," Sauli said.
Sauli grabbed my hand as we made our way into the living room. This is it. It's too late to go back now. These are my friends in the other room but I still feel nervous to about they will think about Sauli and I dating. Since we're dating, they might think that we'll only want to be with each other and nobody else all the time. That is totally untrue, at least for me. I love Sauli but I'm not going to give up my bffs just to be with him. I know Sauli wouldn't let me either. I mentally have prepared myself for how they all will react to this. If someone's angry or pissed about it, I'm ready to be given a lecture. I would listen to what they have to say. If their only argument for not wanting me to be with Sauli is that it'll ruin my friendship with him, I'd go and tell them how exactly I feel for him. Sauli will always be my friend no matter what would happen with us. If we'd break up, I'd still hope to stay great friends with him.
Sauli smiled at me as we left the kitchen and entered the living room. Nobody has noticed us at. The song "Hell Yeah" by Midnight Red is playing on the speakers. That song is such a party song. Jessica is the person who showed us it. She freaked out when she saw on twitter that a famous boy band followed her. Midnight Red is this boy band made up of 5 members. There members are Thomas, Eric, Joey, Anthony, and Colton. Jessica is like completely obsessed with Thomas and Anthony. She lately has gotten ever more obsessed with the band. She really wants to see them in concert. She claims that it would be one of the huge highlights of her life. The song stopped and they all looked over at us. Here Sauli and I are holding hands and smiling at each other. I look over at Tommy and he is completely confused. His facial expression is filled with curiosity.
"Hey, everyone. Yes, I know you're all wondering why we were gone so long. First I need to tell you that I didn't tell Sauli the true reason why I'm having this party tonight. I told him and he was shocked by the news, but in a good way. Sauli really wanted to hear my singing voice, so I gave him a preview for American Idol. He was so happy that he started crying. He, well, kissed me and took me by surprise. There was some awkward silence and then he told me that he's always been interested in me. None of you guys know this, but I have been interested in him from the second I saw him. I had to keep it secret because I didn't want to get any crap from anyone about it. I'm in love with Sauli and he's in love with me. Sauli and I are dating. I hope you all aren't mad about this or anything. I promise that our relationship will not ruin any of our friendships. Please, be happy for us," I said.
"Did I miss something?" Brittney asked as she walking through the door. Brittney moved here the same time Sauli did but I really haven't talked to her. Brittney is one of Jessica's and Amanda's friends. They must have invited her to the party. She showed up fashionably late. That would be something that I would totally do. She has the best timing too. I have no clue if she believes in gay relationships or not. I really hope she believes in them. I can't judge her at all because I know nothing about her.
"Here, I'll go catch her up, Adam. You need to be in here talking to everyone. I got this," Jessica said. "Thanks, Jess," I said. Jessica walked out of the room with Brittney. Jessica nodded towards me. I know she'll do an incredible job at making the situation make sense. Jessica has a way with words since she is a writer. If anybody could convince anybody that gay relationships are okay, that would be Jess. She might be straight but when she sees how bullied I get for people just assuming I'm gay, she has taken a serious interest into the subject. Jessica is perfectly fine with me being in a relationship with Sauli I know. She is kind of amused with guy-on-guy things. She's probably envisioning about Sauli and I kissing and probably other stuff knowing her. She's got a kind of dirty mind but it's all okay with me. I wouldn't change her a bit.
"Anybody have any concerns about us? Now's your time to speak," I said. I looked around and all I could see was smiles. Nobody is angry at us. "I'm just so happy for you two. I think you guys are like perfect for each other," Tommy said. "Yeah, we all couldn't be more happy for this. You look so in love right now, Adam. I haven't seen you this happy ever since I've gotten to know you," Amanda said. "Thanks you guys. I am super happy right now. Sauli, I know our time together will always be special to me. I love you and I can't wait to know even more about you. I hope our journey of love takes us to somewhere very prosperous in joy and love. Oh, and I love the way how you say my name. Your accent is oh-so-adorable," I said.
Sauli looked over at me, smiled, and then kissed me. Amanda and Tommy both watched. Jessica's going to wish that she was here to see that. Once she hears that Sauli and I kissed in front of Amanda and Tommy, she's going to freak. She'll probably ask for us to kiss again. I have no argument against that. I already know I love kissing Sauli and we've only kissed twice. Both times we've kissed, I've felt this spark. It feels like I'm in heaven when we kiss. It really is a magical moment. Sauli's lips are so fucking sexy. Mmm.