Maslow
Ninnik Nishukan
Summary: What do you need? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.
Self-esteem, Part III, Morality, Part III and Friendship, Part IV
It was his birthday. Not that anyone around here but her would've even noticed. He remembered her birthday, and so she was obligated to remember his.
It was even in her contract, and one of the things that had tipped her off right away, when she'd started working for Dr. Drakken, that her current employer was going to take a somewhat unorthodox approach to the whole employer-employee relationship.
She'd been right, too; later came karaoke night, bowling night...not to mention all the unwanted confessions upon confessions about his nerdy past.
Apart from her precious days off, his birthday was one of the few days she always circled on her calendar; several times, in big, fat, red marker pen, with a small side note of 'Dr.D's B-Day' to go with it.
It looked like a completely ordinary day, though. Usually, he would've made some lame attempt at being celebratory by now, either by wearing a stupid party hat or having cake for breakfast or something equally nauseating, but now he was simply sitting at the breakfast table, doodling something on a napkin as he had his coffee and toast and eggs, so she didn't even say anything when she joined him for breakfast.
She'd let him set the mood for this one; she had no idea what he had planned for today, so she'd just wait and see what he'd do.
"Morning," he said, never even looking up from his napkin, a deep frown appearing on his face.
He hadn't expected her to be up so early. He'd heard her come in late the night before, or more like early that morning, and he was curious as to what she'd been doing, but knew better than to ask her about what she did on her own, private time.
As she sat down beside him at the kitchen table, there was a small, niggling fear at the base of his spine that she wouldn't congratulate him on his birthday. That she'd forget it even if— so what if she forgot?
He knew he hadn't done anything special for today, so it wouldn't be any wonder if it slipped her mind, but he just hadn't felt up to celebrating. Nevertheless, whether or not he was in a celebratory mood, he needed to hear those words you only got to hear once a year...when it was supposed to be about you for just one moment.
"Morning." She leaned over, surreptitiously checking out whatever it was he was working on; it appeared to be some sort of device that was designed to launch people into the sun. It didn't look like it was going to work, though, and was probably just a childish outlet for frustration, like a kid drawing his teacher getting swallowed up by a giant snake or something.
Drakken frowned even deeper and turned just slightly away so she couldn't see his drawings. They were just idle doodles, anyway, but he didn't want to hear her mocking comments. Not today.
"Did you forget what today is...?" She hinted, as she poured herself a tall glass of orange juice. He didn't look like he was going to say anything about it, and she didn't have much patience, so she might as well begin, after all. Then she might avoid him being sulky all day.
The lines of his face softened slightly then, and she could tell that he was just a little emboldened by the fact that somebody remembered at all, but then the frown was back. "Maybe I should have a party," he said, sounding utterly unconvinced.
Shego sent him an odd look. "No offence, Dr. D, but who would you invite?" His mother had most likely called him to wish him a happy birthday, like she always did, and she'd probably sent him a gift, too, but other than her, who was there?
It wasn't as if Drakken would ever invite any other villains over; sheesh, what a weird party that would've been! They would've probably threatened each other with handheld doomsday devices as they fought over who got the last piece of cake or something.
Drakken's face didn't even fall at her comment, however; he just shook his head faintly. "I have no idea," he said, and it made her feel funny; wasn't he supposed to be whining and ranting about it?
"Drakken…" She began reluctantly. She'd gotten the sudden urge to make him feel better— it was his birthday, after all, and even she could manage to stop being derogatory for five seconds on his birthday; he always went out of his way to try to be nice to her on her birthday— but there was no way in hell she'd admit that if she were to throw a party, she wouldn't actually know whom to invite, either.
When she wasn't busy trying to take over the world, she preferred to spend her time relaxing alone, so she didn't actually have that many friends at all. Good thing for her that she was more of a party crasher, really.
He shrugged. "You don't exactly turn evil by being popular and surrounded by close, loyal friends, Shego." He sighed. "There's always a reason." He stared into the middle distance for a while before he suddenly turned to her, actually looking at her for the first time that morning. "What's yours?"
"What's my what?"
"Your reason for being evil?"
She put of a face of false bravado. "Do I need one?"
"Doy." He said simply.
"I like evil." She shrugged. "I like the lifestyle. I like the money. I like the excitement. I like the freedom." She leaned back into her chair. "And being good was getting on my last nerve. I like being the one who causes the destruction instead of being the one who has to clean it up."
He stared at her. He supposed he could understand that— it was why a lot of people were drawn to evil— but he couldn't help but think that it felt a little...shallow. It lacked something. The woman had the ruthless heart and the power that it took to be evil, but she didn't have the lust for vengeance, the bitterness that drove a lot of super villains— himself included— in short, she didn't really have a reason, something that ate away at her and sort of...forced her to do these things. She did them for fun. She did them because she could.
But then again, some of the truly great super villains and villainesses were simply mad; for them, causing havoc and chaos was fun. Maybe Shego didn't even need a reason; maybe that was why she'd tested so much higher than him on that device that tested your badness level at the villain convention.
She was evil simply for the sake of evil; she didn't have any petty, emotional, human reasons to do what she did. Sure, one of the reasons she'd turned to evil was probably because it was a reaction to her annoying family— and because, like she said, she had been fed up with having to play the hero— but she didn't use that as an excuse, like he did with his past. She didn't have an excuse; she didn't need an excuse.
Maybe that was why, even apart from her super powers, he was just a little intimidated by her.
"So, um..." He steepled his fingers, looking apprehensively at her over the top of them. "No childhood trauma or humiliating incidences in high school or anything, then? Nothing to make you thirst for vengeance?"
She only raised her eyebrows at him, looking un-amused. "I'm not you."
"What about your super powers? They make you feel different and ostracized or...?"
"Look," Shego began impatiently, shifting around slightly in her chair. "I got sick and tired of the super hero business, was fascinated by evil, found that being good just wasn't for me, and then I turned to the other side. End of story."
Drakken shock his head almost imperceptibly as he stared at her, sitting up in his chair, leaning forward. "Shego, being evil isn't just a fashion choice— it's a very big decision!"
"Well, doy!"She exclaimed, giving him one of those looks that always told him she thought he was lecturing her on the blatantly obvious. "And I'm happy with the decision I made. What more do you want?"
He gaped at her before sinking back into his chair again. "Nothing."
"Good."She said flatly, and that was the end of that.
"I really thought it would work this time, you know." Drakken said eventually, poking idly at the mostly untouched eggs and toast on his plate with his fork.
"Well, yeah, you would."She said, but there was no real malice underneath.
"I mean...we captured the buffoon, I managed to turn on the intercontinental electro-magnetisizer before Kim Possible could stop me, and it was working...and I even got away with getting the government to pay for everything..."
"And yet..." She went on, sighing silently.
"And yet..." Drakken nodded absently. "It's always one little detail, isn't it?"
"Well, maybe if you'd clue me in on your plans beforehand, I could've told you that you'd have to build the lair to seismic standards..." She pointed out, and watched him cringe.
"I didn't think...I thought I had everything covered!" He sighed explosively. "And...and it was right before my birthday, too! And now it's like there's nothing to celebrate. It's just another day when I...just happen to get older."
Shego groaned inwardly. "Oh, so it's that now?"
"What?"
"Whining about 'getting old'?" She rolled her eyes. "Are you going to complain about crow's feet or gray hairs all day?"
A look of panic crossed his features. "What? Am I getting gray hairs, too? And crow's feet?"Shego gave the same explosive sigh that he'd given just seconds ago. "No, I was just—"
"Get me a mirror!" He ordered, standing up abruptly.
Growling in irritation, Shego pulled him down by his sleeve so he landed on the chair with a thump. "Sit down! If I'm going to have to keep you company today since it's your birthday, I won't have you acting like some sort of faded southern belle or something!"
A wounded look flickered over his face. "Well, if you don't want to be here, you could've just left—"
"Would you just...stop? It's too early for this." Shego rubbed her temples in frustration. "Just...drink your coffee or something, okay? And get me some while you're at it," she added, holding out her cup.
He pouted as he poured her some coffee. "I can't help it. When you reach a certain age, you get paranoid about certain things." He made a face. "Ugh. Forty-two. Can't believe I'm already that old."
She shrugged. "You don't look it."
He frowned deeply at her. "Don't humour me."He muttered into his coffee cup.
"Dr. D, when do I ever humour you?"She remarked dryly.
A small twinkle of hope turned up in his eyes; she had a point. "Yeah? How old do you think I look like I am, then?"
She shrugged. "Dunno, thirty-nine, forty?"
His face fell before it tightened with offence. "That's not actually much better, is it?"
"Gah, what do you want me to say?"She closed her eyes as if she was getting a headache. "There's no grey hairs or crow's feet, okay? Feel better?"
"Not really."
"Look, Dr. D...it's eight thirty am, and I'm up and sitting here with you, even though I would've loved to sleep in today. So stop whining and be happy or something, all right?"
"I would if there was something to be happy about..." Drakken replied, sighing as he looked gloomily down at the strange doodle on his napkin. "I thought I'd already be ruling the world by forty-two..."
Shego sighed as well; obviously it wasn't enough that she was there, she apparently needed to do something for him, too. Well, luckily she'd come prepared...
There was silence for a while before he heard the sound of something being pushed across the table at him; when he looked up, he saw that she was offering him a box. Blue, with a red bow.
He looked across the table at her. "What's this?"
She smiled; a quick, zippy kind of smile, there one second and gone the next, as if it was afraid it'd be eaten up by sarcasm if it didn't hurry. "Happy Birthday, Doc."
He just stared at the box in fascination, as if it was some kind of bizarre alien life form or something, and she rolled her eyes at him. "Aren't you gonna open it?"
"Oh. Yes." He cleared his throat, reaching for the present. "Of course!"
She took a sip of her juice as she watched him untie the bow and peel back the wrapping paper. "I'd bake you a cake, but...I don't do cakes." She shrugged, feeling slightly self-conscious at his obvious surprise over the gift. He only shook his head absently, dismissing the lack of cake as he pulled the lid off of the box, looking as if he hadn't expected this much, even.
When he saw what was inside, he was simply quiet for a while before he blurted out a short, kind of flabbergasted laugh. "The cheerleader's hair dryer thing?" His entire face lit up. "You actually stole it?"
She nodded, a smug grin on her face.
"How did you do it?"He asked eagerly, leaning forward.
"Yeah, funny story...I basically just walked into her house. She'd just left it right there on her desk. Kimmie needs to start taking better care of her things." She added, grinning.
"Considering how many villains she deals with on an almost daily basis, you'd think she'd have some sort of security measures set up..." Drakken mumbled, looking at Shego in utter fascination. "But wait— her computer kid, what's-his-name, he's probably got the house under surveillance, right? She could be here any minute!"
"Exactly." There was a certain amount of satisfaction over a job well done in her voice as she went on. "Which is why I've set up a trap for her."
"What? Really?" His eyes were practically sparkling now. He was looking at her as if she was Christmas and New Year's and Halloween and chocolate and everything awesome in the world rolled into one person. "What is it?"He asked excitedly, but then shook his head, grinning gleefully. "No, wait, don't tell me— it'll be a surprise!"
She laughed. "Okay."
He paused suddenly. "But just one thing— do you really think she'll come all the way over here just for this?" He asked somewhat doubtfully, brandishing the hair dryer-like grappling gun.
"Nope, I wasn't sure..." Shego said, smirking. "...which was why I also stole this!" She declared, holding up something from the bag next to her chair.
"Ugh! A cuddle buddy!" Drakken shuddered with disgust.
Shego laughed; there was a reason why she hadn't wrapped up the stuffed animal as well. Not only did he hate cuddle buddies, but receiving a cute, stuffed animal as a gift from a woman might've...given him the wrong idea. "Right, but it's Kim Possible's cuddle buddy. And I bet she'd do anything to get it back."
"Oh, this is so exciting!" Drakken laughed giddily as her words sunk in. "Come on, we have to— to get ready or something! I bet she's not far from the lair!"
"Happy Birthday, Doc..." Shego repeated to herself, smiling slightly as she watched him bound off to the lab.
Drakken skidded to a halt and sent her a big grin over his shoulder. "Come on, Shego!"
"Coming!" Shego called back, chuckling as she got up to follow him. It never took that much to turn his mood around.
Of course, the grappling gun and the Pandaroo were back in Kim Possible's hands in a matter of only an hour or two, but after all...it was the thought that counted, right?
After Team Possible had gone back home and half his laboratory had been destroyed, Drakken said 'Oh, just leave it!' and took the henchmen and Shego out for ice cream.
Security of Resources, Part II
He was sitting hunched over a bunch of paperwork, and to her slight surprise, he wasn't wearing his usual lab attire. He was wearing a dark pair of sweats and a red T-shirt; the kind of outfit worn by people who weren't expecting any company.
When she stepped into his line of sight, he turned his head, looking puzzled. "Shego? What are you doing here on a Saturday?"
She shrugged, feigning carelessness. "I had a date that seriously bombed."
That wasn't any actual valid reason for her to come here since, even if she usually lived at his lairs, she did have her own apartment in this particular city to stay at on weekends, but if he was wondering about her mysterious appearance on such a day, he didn't comment any further on it. Shrugging too, he turned back to his paperwork, and to her own surprise, she found herself getting annoyed. She showed up here to keep him company— okay, to be entertained, but she was there, wasn't she?— on a Saturday night no less, and he was ignoring her?
Well, that just wasn't gonna fly with her.
"So, what are you doing here in the lab? No, wait, I forgot— you have no social life." Sauntering over, she leaned casually over his shoulder, resting her elbow there and taking a peek at what he was working at. It looked like a crude doodle of some kind of complicated device for...what was that even for?
Next to it laid a huge pile of what looked like the accounts for the fiscal year. It was kind of funny, really, how not even a super villain escaped having to deal with such things. It was obvious to her that the reason he was working on yet another weird device was because he'd given up on the accounts for the time being.
He glared at her. "I'm doing some preparations for Monday, if you must know. After all, the boss often has to work overtime."
She chuckled derisively. "You just keep telling yourself that."
Drakken gave an irritated sigh. "Don't you have anything better to do, like painting your toenails while crying into a bucket of ice cream over your failing love life or something?"
She narrowed her eyes at him, somewhat taken aback. He wasn't usually that mean. "At least I actually have a love life at all, failing or not."
"I don't have time for that!" He barked back, but even he didn't sound very convinced. Even though he'd never admit it, his ego still stung from the 'still can't get a date' comment that James Possible had made this one time...
"Oh, come on." Shego scoffed dismissively. "Everybody has time for that."
He gritted his teeth, glaring at her as he picked up the pile of accounts and shook it at her. "Does it look like I have time?"
She sighed heavily. "Jeez, Dr. D, why don't you just hire an accountant or something?"
He pursed his lips in dissatisfaction. "What kind of an accountant would work for a super villain? It's fine if it's just henchmen, but other than that, it's actually quite hard for me to hire people, Shego! I don't exactly make a positive addition to anybody's resume, do I? 'Last job: Handling the finances of an evil genius who's trying to take over the world'? Does that sound nice?"
She gave a lopsided smirk at that. "For enough money, Drakken, you can hire practically anybody."
He let out a loud, exasperated sigh. "But that's just the problem, isn't it? Does it look like I'm on top of my income?" He asked, thrusting the stack of paper at her.
She took it with an apprehensive glance at him before she looked at the first page. There was quite a few...red numbers. She began to frown deeply. "I really hope this doesn't mean I'll be expecting a cut in my pay check."
He groaned as he dragged his hands down his face, looking tortured. "It's just like you to think like that! We all have to make sacrifices, Shego!"
Her eyes widened as she shook her head in disbelief. "Whoa! Hey! Sacrifices?"
He snatched the stack of accounts back from her in a huff, slapping them onto his work top as he stood up. "If you want more money, go out and steal some. Make yourself useful."
"But—"She stared after him as he walked away, practically fuming. He probably didn't have much financial sense, she figured, or he wouldn't be this distraught.
It was no wonder he was upset nowadays, either, as the Gourmet Cupcake business had caused them to really rake in the cash, but then they'd lost it all just as easily. They hadn't had much money beforehand, and now they had suffered another major setback. Sighing, she idly leafed through the accounts, wincing at what she saw.
She'd always known super weapons were expensive, but this was just insane. Usually they just stole stuff, but they weren't always in a position where they could do that. When she came to the last pages, concerning their salaries, she expected hers to be much higher than the henchmen's, and it was— much, much higher— but what she hadn't expected was that it was also much higher than what Drakken paid himself.
She really hadn't expected that at all.
She didn't like it, but it actually caused her pause, caused her to swallow around a small lump that was forming in her throat. She didn't like that at all.
But it did kind of make sense, didn't it? He never went on expensive vacations like she did, he always lived at the lair while she had a myriad of stand-by apartments spread across the globe, and she'd never seen him buy anything particular for himself like fancy clothes or any other goods that didn't have anything to do with his constant project of World Domination. He always spent all his funds on The Cause.
And on her, apparently.
He thought she would leave if he didn't keep throwing money at her, didn't he? Well, maybe she would, but—
But for crying out loud, why did she have to see this? She hated it when stuff like this happened. It caused her to turn all prickly and gooey inside and she didn't know what to do with herself. It was annoying, like she had an itch inside her body that she couldn't scratch, couldn't get to. It felt like part guilt, part anger, part fondness, part sadness, part affection, part regret and a whole lot of frustration— and many other irritating emotions.
She felt moved by this gesture, and she didn't like it. And he'd never told her, either, that big, blue, stupid—
"Argh!" She slapped the stack of accounts down on the counter again, much like he had done only minutes ago, and clenched her fists. Good grief, he was just so damn—
Her fists unclenched as she let out a long breath.
Who was she kidding? She would stay even if her pay check was cut, she knew that. After all, it wasn't as if it was the first time it had happened, and she did have plenty of her own money stowed away for just such an occasion, and the thing was that, no matter how annoying it was, she would stay because she liked it here.
She liked the stupid super weapons and all the other cool stuff and she liked the excitement and the fighting and the ridiculously cavernous lairs and she liked the paid vacations and she liked bothering the life out of her boss and she— she cared.
She didn't like him all that much, and she was pretty sure he didn't like her all that much either— or maybe she did, and maybe he did; it was really hard to tell, sometimes— but she cared. And he cared. Probably more than a boss should. Then again, he wasn't just her boss— they were partners, no matter how many times she was referred to as the lowly sidekick.
Shego sighed again as she heard a loud curse and then some angry muttering coming from the kitchen, and decided to go talk to him.
Intimacy, Part II, or; The Concept Slowly Starts Forming
Drakken sent Shego a frustrated glance as she appeared in the kitchen doorway. "What do you want? Come to threaten me for more money?" He sneered as he poured hot water into a mug.
Instead of getting angry, though, she only smirked at that and shook her head, and his puzzled gaze followed her as she crossed the kitchen floor. "I came to make some popcorn." She said, opening a kitchen cabinet.
"We have popcorn?" He asked, slightly surprised. He couldn't remember buying any, and he was usually the one who ate it, anyway.
"Bought some yesterday." She said lightly, but paused in front of the microwave. "You haven't been heating any more experiments in here after you had it cleaned when that weird purple, bubbly thing exploded last week, have you?" She asked suspiciously.
He jutted out his lower lip in a pout at her lack of faith in him. "No." He said sulkily as he dipped a tea bag into his mug.
"Good," she said dryly before throwing a popcorn bag into the microwave and setting the time.
There was silence except the low hum of the microwave and the occasional soft pop of the corn reacting to the heat waves, during which Drakken noticed what she was wearing for the first time that evening. Sure, he'd seen it in some vague kind of way, but his mind hadn't really registered it yet. She was wearing black jeans and a form-fitting, long-sleeved, deep green sweater with a somewhat lower neckline than he was used to seeing her in. She looked...nice. She was even wearing somewhat less subtle make-up than usual and a small necklace that, knowing her tastes, was probably quite expensive.
Suddenly, he felt quite underdressed in his sweats and T-shirt...and then he immediately scolded himself for even thinking it. He was in his own home, it was late, and she was the one who'd suddenly appeared without warning, all dressed up. He had nothing to feel self-conscious about at all—
"Wanna watch some TV?" She blurted out suddenly.
"Huh?" He blinked at her, yanked out of his thoughts.
"I mean, you're not gonna get any further with those accounts tonight, right?" She pointed out, tossing her hair just a little and tilting her hip. "So you might as well just relax."
He peered at her a bit distrustfully. "I suppose so."
More silence.
Drakken's teeth worried at the inside of his cheek as he frowned at her. She was acting almost...nice, and he had no idea why that was. It was making him quite uneasy. But then again, he supposed he shouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth. After all, this might be the only time this millennium— not counting his birthdays— where she actually was this nice.
"Um...you want some tea, too? It's uh, herbal. It won't keep you up."
There was almost something like a smile on her face when she answered. "Sure."
"Telemundo soap operas?"
They'd arranged themselves in front of the TV with popcorn and tea, and now he was being exasperated over her program of choice.
"Yeah, so?" Shego gave him a look.
"With no subtitles?"Drakken asked disbelievingly.
She shrugged, yawning a little. "Who cares? It's late, anyway, I just wanna veg out for a while before I go to bed."
"Nnnghh." He grunted in defeat. "Fine, whatever."
"Good."She said, nodding in brief content at the tiny victory.
They watched the unfolding Spanish drama in relative silence. Apparently, a beautiful woman named Maria was cheating on her husband Juanito with his best friend, Fernando, from what Drakken was able to gather.
"I thought soap operas were only on during the day." He complained.
"Apparently not the reruns." She said, grabbing a handful of popcorn.
"Apparently not," he groaned.
He twitched with shock when her head suddenly fell heavily on his shoulder.
"Don't you ever get tired of spending Saturday nights alone in the lab, Dr. D?"She asked casually, her gaze still directed at the screen.
"World domination doesn't plan itself, Shego," He said, his voice involuntarily going a bit hoarser than usual as she shifted a little and her hair tickled the side of his face, her cheek warm on his shoulder through the thin fabric of his cotton T-shirt.
"No, suppose not," she sighed, sagging further against him and wondering why he hadn't tried to worm himself out of her close proximity yet.
She sighed again; for a big, blue geek, he was really very comfy. And warm. He hadn't quite been able to get rid of all the cupcake-induced extra padding he'd acquired after the Hank's Gourmet Cupcakes catastrophe yet, either, so even if he was almost back to his old trim self, there were still a couple of excess pounds left which, while nothing very noticeable, made him...just a little softer.
There was a pause as they simply watched the TV for a while.
"Your hair is in my face," he said eventually, obviously trying to put an irritated point to a sentence that came out sounding more like a croak.
She only gave a soft grunt in reply and hardly moved at all as she flipped her long hair over her left shoulder so it was out of his face. If he'd thought she'd get embarrassed and move off of him entirely, he was way wrong; she wasn't some jittery little teenager.
Drakken frowned in frustration; she apparently hadn't taken the hint. Or most likely, she had taken the hint and was just doing this to annoy him. She had obviously chosen to use him as a human-sized arm rest or a pillow, and didn't give a damn if she had his consent or not; he might as well just be a piece of furniture, for all she cared. But at least she'd removed her itchy hair from under his nose.
Shego let out a comfortable-sounding little sigh then and lazily reached for the bowl of popcorn as she let her weight fully rest against his side. She wasn't very heavy, but she was as limp as a sack of potatoes against him, and it was all getting a bit too intimate for him; her breath, her weight, her firm softness and the warmth of her body lounging more and more comfortably on him, as if he was just some sort of deck chair and not a living person.
She was obviously just trying to freak him out. Either that, or he was so beneath her standards that she didn't even consider him a man, and didn't even realize that what she was doing might be making him uncomfortable.
"You're pretty comfy, Doc," she said pleasantly as she loudly munched popcorn beside him.
That did it; she was obviously just trying to freak him out. "Well, you're not comfy," he retorted irritably, pushing a little at her arm, "and stop making those annoying popcorn noises!"
She wasn't budging at all; sure, she wasn't very heavy, but she was very strong, and if she didn't want to be moved, the likes of him certainly wasn't going to be able to do it.
Drakken gave her a long look. "You know, I think I'm beginning to understand why you're always giving me a hard time."
Shego nodded. "It's because it's so much fun." She said matter-of-factly.
"As I feared." Drakken sighed, gazing helplessly up into the ceiling, as if pleading for some sort of divine intervention. Shego kind of doubted there was such a thing as a Guardian Deity of Employers Being Mocked Mercilessly by Their Employees.
"Call it a perk that comes with the job." Shego shrugged again. "After all, there's gotta be some sort of upside to all this."
"And your shamelessly large pay check isn't an upside?"
"The size of my so-called 'shamelessly large pay check' keeps on changing according to how lucky we are, Chief," She reminded him. "And I need to keep myself amused somehow." Grinning cheekily, she crunched a mouthful of popcorn right next to his ear.
"Argh!" He bellowed in exasperation, gripping his head and gritting his teeth. "Stop that! You're violating my personal bubble!" Again, he went at trying to push her off the couch, or at least off of him. "Is it any wonder I spend my Saturday nights alone? You're so annoying!"
"Thanks," she said, sounding smug. "I do try my best."
When he realized again that she wasn't going anywhere, he sagged helplessly back into the couch, and she moulded herself even more disrespectfully close to him, chuckling with evil amusement.
"I'll get you back for this psychological torture when you least expect it," he muttered darkly, but she only laughed.
They watched the boring show for a bit longer.
"My arm is falling asleep," he said meaningfully after a while, but he sounded more resigned than anything. She was annoying, but truth be told, she was the only other provider of friendly physical contact in his life except for his mother, even if what Shego was doing right then couldn't exactly be labelled as friendly; it was an odd, roundabout kind of bullying, that's what it was. She knew he couldn't do anything about it, and so she'd decided to keep herself amused by bothering him because the show was boring and she'd just had a bad date. It was selfish and inconsiderate.
So like her.
Okay, so he knew he hadn't exactly been Miss Congeniality lately, either— he'd been grouchy, he'd yelled more than usual and he'd probably bossed her around more and been a lot less considerate and more preoccupied than usual— but she didn't have to pay him back like this, did she?
Anyway, it was perfectly understandable that he'd been acting like that. He'd had to struggle to get enough money for his next scheme, he'd had trouble even coming up with said scheme in the first place, and on top of everything, he'd put on weight from those stupid cupcakes! He'd only been able to fit into his lab coat again yesterday, and he'd been feeling cranky and self-conscious for the two weeks before that.
He knew he wasn't exactly super model material usually, either, but the way Shego— who was all about staying in shape and eating healthy— had been looking at him and shaking her head had made him get a grip, stop eating the cupcakes and start working out again a lot faster than what he might've done if she hadn't been around.
Normally, he never really felt self-aware when it came to his appearance around her--- after all, she'd seen him in all kinds of unattractive situations already, like with his face all covered in soot and half his hair burned off— but lately, he had been.
"Good grief, you're spiteful." He told her, his voice broadcasting sulky defeat. "If you were a cat, you'd be one of those cats that rub themselves all over people who are allergic to cats, just to be rotten."
"Newsflash, Doc— I'm evil." Shego retorted flatly as she shifted around again, looping her arm into his for support as she stretched out her legs. With a glance, he saw that she was now lying almost fully stretched out on the couch, and leaning more heavily on his arm than ever, her expression and body language radiating pure lethargy.
Then she yawned.
"Are you intending to go to sleep here?" He asked, peering distrustfully at her.
"Maybe." She said neutrally, but sounding strangely menacing to his ears. "The show's boring, anyway."
"Wouldn't it be better if you went home?" He prompted, his voice starting to sound a little strained.
"What, and leave you all alone?" She asked, with a false, saccharine sweetness. She had no intentions of falling asleep, but it was always fun to make him nervous.
He started to slowly break into a cold sweat. "I'll give you a small raise." He suggested, sounding just slightly desperate.
"You don't want me here?" She gasped in mock outrage. "I'm hurt, Chief."
"A large raise, then," he said, and she opened her mouth to answer, but shut it as she considered the situation. Staying here would be entertaining, and admittedly even a little…nice, for such a lonely Saturday night, curling up with someone she knew, someone who wouldn't try anything, someone who she could almost even trust, even if he was getting uncomfortable and confused by her actions…but then again, a raise sounded very nice…!
"Okay!" She said cheerfully, springing up from the couch. "I'll go home if I get a raise!"
He gaped at her for a moment before his brow lowered dangerously. "I knew you were just doing this for a raise or something!" He blurted, and she frowned as she thought she could hear something akin to hurt in his voice. "Well, you can forget about it!" He snapped, stalking off; to his private quarters, she presumed.
For a second or two, she almost considered following him, but hanging all over him on the living room couch and hanging all over him in his own bedroom were two very different things, even if she didn't mean anything by it but wanting to annoy the tar out of him while she got a comfy seat out of it all...right? She hadn't meant— had she?
She stared after him even when he was out of sight. She'd just gone a little too far, apparently. Again.
What's wrong with me? She wondered as she padded slowly to the front door, slipping on her shoes and grabbing her bag. She didn't think it'd be a good idea to stay there tonight.
Drakken slammed the door behind him, practically panting with outrage. He should've known!
He had known, really— and yet he felt some definite sense of betrayal.
He huffed and cursed as he shed his clothes and pulled on his pajamas, and he glared at himself in the mirror of his private bathroom as he brushed his teeth.
Stopping in front of his large, round bed, his hand went up to his arm out of its own volition, absent-mindedly rubbing the spot where Shego had been leaning. It was almost as if she'd been putting her weight there for so long that the surface had gone numb. As if she'd branded him.
Drakken stared. The big, round bed really was rather...big. Now, as he looked at it for the first time, really looked at it, instead of just collapsing on it after a long, long night, he could see it. It wasn't a bed that was meant for just one person. Hell, it could probably fit at least three or even four people. He really didn't need all that space by himself, he thought suddenly.
He'd never thought that before. He'd just thought it looked cool.
Massive. Regal. Befitting the future ruler of the Earth.
Now he just thought it looked...lonely. Like a lot of wasted space.
Drakken grunted angrily as he realized he was still rubbing his arm and gawking at his own bed as if he'd never seen it before, and immediately stopped it. Why was he feeling like this when he'd very clearly been bothered by her wriggling against him carelessly, bullying him into giving her a raise— why did his room feel emptier and colder than usual?
It couldn't be because he wanted— because that would be pathetic. Just because she'd done that? Was he really that starved for affection?
And she was his employee, and it was just not done. He'd frown upon it if she'd ever start flirting with any of his employees, because office romances were nothing but stumbling blocks on the road to global domination— not that she'd ever be interested in any of his henchmen, the louts, he thought quickly— so he couldn't very well ignore his own principles on the matter by doing it himself, could he?
Besides, even thinking the word 'romance' in the same context as the word 'Shego' was all kinds of wrong. And especially if it was in relation to himself.
Drakken muttered to himself in annoyance as he climbed into bed and turned off the bedside lamp.
Shego was just Shego. She was just his sidekick and his assistant and occasionally maybe even something resembling his friend, but she wasn't— Shego was Shego, she wasn't...a woman. Shego was Shego first and a woman second.
She'd only done what she'd done as some sort of new, complicated way of ticking him off. She'd probably grown tired of the same nitpicking of his grammar mistakes and sarcastic jokes about the failure of his plans— which were all unfair since she mostly played quite a sizable part in bungling them up, anyway— and had decided to try a new approach to her favourite game, Drive Drakken Crazy.
Shego got bored easily, and that was all there was to it.
And she'd go to all sorts of length to remedy her boredom, even cuddle up to her lonely boss just to freak him out and watch the ensuing hilarity.
Yeah.
That was it.
Drakken sighed as he rolled over on his side, squeezing his teddy bear to his chest as he stared into the empty darkness of his room.
She'd always been prone to anger, but other than that, she kept her emotions under check. Anger was acceptable because it made her look intimidating, but she couldn't be an evil villainess and go around acting all emotional all the time; apart from her special powers, there was a reason why people still respected her while they often didn't respect Drakken.
She was also used to being sarcastic, blasé, unaffected, laidback, in control...
Now, her emotional indifference was slowly eroding.
As she lay alone in her bed that night, she found herself curling up around her pillow, clutching it to her cheek like some huge stuffed toy animal, and it was with great embarrassment that she realized what she was doing and that she realized why she'd really been so clingy with Drakken. Sure, bothering him had been fun, but the physical contact had fulfilled a need in her that she hadn't quite been aware that she had.
So far, sex and fighting had been all the physical outlet she'd required, but even she had to admit that she probably touched Drakken a lot more than she should in any case, and this time she'd crossed some sort of invisible line that she probably shouldn't have crossed.
She was alone in her bed, and as much as it pained her to admit it, what she wanted right then was someone to cuddle with...and unfortunately, after the events of the evening, Drakken presented himself as her first and best option in her mind. She tried shaking the thought off, but couldn't. She'd become so pleasantly sleepy tonight, sitting with him and leaning on his big, comfortable body, but now she suddenly felt wide awake.
Sleeping wasn't an easy task that night, and she was glad that the next morning was a Sunday morning.
The following Monday morning, Shego went out hunting for an accountant who was willing to work for an evil genius, and finally found one Thomas Perkins, Hank Perkins' older brother.
The look of pleased surprise on Drakken's face, caused by the fact that she'd actually shown some initiative and done something without him ordering her to, more than made up for the unpleasantness on Saturday.
He immediately put Perkins to work on the accounts, looking relieved for the first time in a couple of weeks. Shego could practically sense the stress melting out of him as he saw that he could leave the tiresome work to someone else and could get back to doing something simpler like, say, attempting to take over the world.
By the end of the day, everything was more or less back to normal between them.
More or less.
TBC.
Author's note: I'm simply assuming they're supposed to remember each other's birthdays because of Drakken's comment about forgetting Shego's birthdayin Emotion Sickness.
The 'Spanish drama' is taken from a parody of Telemundo soap operas by Pablo Francisco, right down to the names and the story.
After an online chat with Steve Loter, KP's director, I'm changing Shego's age from twenty-nine to twenty-seven.
Thanks again to my generous beta, Zoza, who cheered me up with her funny comments, helped me a bit with correcting my sentence structure in some parts, and also had other useful inputs.
Self-esteem, Part III, Morality, Part III and Friendship, Part IV is set a couple of days after Clothes Minded, and Security of Resources, Part II and Intimacy, Part II, or; The Concept Slowly Starts Forming is set a few weeks after Odds Man In.