COTk: I am sooooooo sorry this came out so late! And I am so thankful to all the lovelies who kept reading and haven't given up on me yet! Thank you! I had so much trouble with this chapter, you have no idea! I almost gae up and started over, but I am really glad that I didn't! As always, enjoy!

Ch 11 On the Road Again

Feeling a lot more in control of his thoughts than the night before, Hiccup tried calling his Dad again.

But all he got was an answering machine. So he called the office of the Auto shop where he worked.

"Mullo." Came the heavy accent of Gobber. Normally, Gobber wouldn't answer the phone this way, but since they had caller ID just in case soeone needed to call in sick or something, he knew that it was Hiccup before he even answered. Hense the answering the phone with a 'mullo.'

"Gobber," but before Hiccup could even continue, Gobber interrupted him.

"I know, Stoik came by earlier and told me you injured yourself again."

Unfortunately, anyone within about three feets radius could hear the never-quiet Gobber perfectly. Jack gave Hiccup an amused smirk."A bit clumsy, eh?"

"You have no idea, Frosty; I'm actually surprised that i hadn't fallen before that..."

"I'm a snowman now?"

"I'm trying to find a name that works as well as Mr. Horrendous."

"I don't know, I knid of liked Frostcicle to be perfectly honest."

"Really?" And as if remembering that he was talking on the phone, Hiccup turned his attention back ro Gobber. "So anyways, Gobber, I might be a day or two late getting home. So I might have to call in for a couple of days."

"Take all the time you need. Just don't you dare miss Snoggletog."

"Don't worry; I wouldn't miss it for the world." Then Gobber hung up. Never a very big conversationalist, that Gobber.

"So, how does one go about celebrating Snoggletog?" Jack asked as Hiccup put his phone back in his pocket.

"Well, first off; you have to have a large building to hold all your large viking guests comfortably. Then you decorate it. Then you fill it with food and mead. And last but not least; you shove all afore mentioned vikings inside this large building. Then you be merry and all that other jazz." Hiccup was still a little loopy from the pain meds. "What about Christmas?"

"Pretty much the same way. Except you celebrate with as many o your closest relatives as you can stad to be around for a couple hours and you exchange gifts that you have gotten for each other. Then, you eat dinner together (with contributions from everyone). Some families stand around a piano and sing Christmas Carols afterwards. But not my family." Jack couldn't help but laugh at the thought.

"What do you guys do?"

"Well, you know how I told you my dad is the Christmas guy?" Hiccup nodded. "Okay, so instead of being normal, we go around in a sleigh pulled by reindeer giving presents to the poor families in Berk."

Hiccup gave him a confused look. "Why?" He asked, not really getting where Jack was going with all of this.

"Because of Santa Clause?"

"Who?"

"You've never heard of Santa?" Hiccup shook his head. "Big fat man in a red suit that goes to every house in the world on one night to give all the good boys and girls presents." Hiccup pursed his lips in thought, then shook his head again. "Rides in a sleigh pulled by eight flying reindeer?"

"Like Odin?"

Now it was Jack's turn to be confused. "What?"

"You just, almost, described Odin. But instead of reindeer and a sleigh, he has an eight legged horse."

"Where do you come up with this stuff?"

"I didn't this time. It's part of Viking history. Odin is a Norwegian God."

"I never leared that in school..."

"Oh, they don't teach it in the public school on Berk. You'd have to go to the private school in the Isle to learn all about Viking heritage."

"You have your own private school?"

"Yeah, we have a bunch of private stuff. But unlike their names, they are all open to the public. Except the Public library. That's private and heavily guarded..."

"Um, why?"

"Books are considered civilizing and bad for barbarian culture. So thy locked up all the books in one big building." A dumbfounded look came over Jack's face. "Believe it or not, we're not very charming or well behaved people. We haven't really evolved very much passed the whole barbarian thing, and the manners in the Isle of Berk are vertually non existant."

"So, why are you so charming and well behaved?"

"I'm a hiccup..." Hiccup shrugged.

"Speaking of your name. If your great-great-grandfather's son was the second, how are you the third?"

"Well, first, Horrendous Haddock is sort of an all around family name. It may not be present in someone's title, but it is always there. As far as 'Hiccup' is involved, that' the name given to all the very, very small babies in the Isle. Which very, very small normally means normal sized."

"Should that be as sad as I think it is?"

"I'm not so sure it shouldn't be." Hiccup said, looking out of the front window at the car in front of them. "You can pass them, you know..."

An almost terrified look came over Jack's face and he shook his head violently. "No I most definitely can not." He said hurriedly, that look not leaving his face.

And a grin that should neverhave crossed Hiccup's face crossed it; a shit-eating-grin. "Are you scared?"

It took a little while for Jack to answer, but very forcefully, he said "Yes, I am."

Hiccup couldn't help but chuckle a little bit.

"Don't mess with me." Jack said in a mock warning tone, forcing himself to steal a glance at the still shit eating Hiccup.

"Or else what?"

"I will tickle you so hard you will never be able to stop laughing..."

"A fun fact about me; being tickled actually turns me on. Like, a lot."

Jack's face went blank. "Then I will tickle you so hard, until you are, and then I'll leave you alone."

Hiccup gasped, truly offended. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would, Mr. Horrendous. I would."

"If you do that, I'll totally rape your ass."

"That's so barbaric."

"Vinking."

"Oh yeah." Jack laughed.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're so cute and precious. When I imagine you as angry, I picture an angry butterfly."

"And angry butterfly?"

"I'm sorry!" Jack wailed, letting out this almost terrified shriek as a semi passed him. Then he began to mumble.

Hiccup still couldn't get over the angry butterfly comment, "Just you wait. Tonight I will show you an angry butterfly..." He said, and all was silent until they reached the next town.

Jack let all the possiblities flow through his head of what Hiccup could possibly mean. Then they came to town, and he realized that he had no idea where to go. "Mr. Horrendous, I'm sorry about the butterfly thing... But could you please tell me where it is we should be going?"

It took a little while for Hiccup to answer, (Because, truth be told; he was kind of dozing off), but when Jack asked again, he looked out of the window, trying to figure out where they were. Once he recognized the town as Meathead, he chuckled a bit, asking, "Wow, you got here pretty fast. What'd you do, speed the whole way here?"

Ignoring the fact that he was being made fun of, Jack just smirked, decidig to play along "I just couldn't wait to find out what those horrible things the butterfly has planned."

"You're lucky that I love you... Otherwise I'd have no mercy and show you now."

"You would do that!?"

"Only if I didn't even like you remotely." Hiccup said, sitting up from the slouched position that he absentmindedly got into while he dozed off. "Anyways, if you turn left here, then go up a couple blocks and turn right you'll get to a hotel about a block up. Then I can capture you in a potato sack and do horrible things to you."

"Is that your version of talking dirty?"

"... Yes."

"I love it!"

"That's because you're a frost-butt!"

Jack drove silently for a little while, thinking really hard. So hard that hs face contorted into an unbearably terrifying glare before he finally said. "Can you call me that again?"

"What? Frost-butt?"

"Are you still high?"

"A little bit..."

"You are so never living that down!"

"I already regret what will happen later tonight..."

Jack chuckled, "Why's that?" He asked, briefly and barely taking his eyes off the road.

"Your butt is way too cute to destroy."

"You really need to change the subject..."

"And you need to stop being so pretty."

"You need to stop being so precious."

"You need to stop damn perfect..."

"You need to stop being... All of that."

"You just gestured to all of me."

"Yes, once you stop being all of precious, angry-butterfly you, I won't feel so bad for loving you so much."

Hiccup was momentarily speechless, for a minute or two, he stared at Jack, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "Why do you feel bad for loving me...?" He was almost hurt by the comment and wasn't quite sure how to react to it.

"It's not that I'm not... The only reason." Jack stammered with his words, trying hard to find the right ones to say that wouldn't make him look and feel more like a complete ass. "I comletely said that wrong. I'm sorry. It's just that," He paused to look back at Hiccup, who was staring at him blankly, and he took adeep breath, turning back to the road as he gathered his thoughts.

"I just don't want to be so completely mad about you while you're still in love with someone else..." Jack hurried and forced all his thoughts out in a jumbled mess of surprisingly understandable words. And Hiccup smiled.

"Is this about Astrid?" Hiccup asked, and Jack had a hard time nodding, tears slowly making their way into his eyes. "Awe, baby... You have nothing to worry about. I promise." He laughed, reaching over to run his hand through Jack's hair. "How the hair is your hell so soft?"

Jack stayed silent as he pulled into the parking lot of the hotel Hiccup had mentioned before, and when he turned off the car, he slowly turned to face him. "How the hair is my hell so soft?"

"You know what I meant..." Hiccup sat up straight, reaching for the door handle. "How about that potato sack and them naughty things by an angry butterfly?" He asked as he opened the door.

"I fucking love you." Jack shouted as he stepped out of the car and hurried over to the passenger's side so he could help his plaster-footed damsel.

COTk: Aaaaaaan the ending completely sucked! I'm sorry guys! You deserve better reading material! Though, just a heads up! I am working out ideas for a Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons crossover fic! But I won't start writing it until I am done with this one. And yes, i will try my best to make it as Hijackery as possible. Anyways... I totally can't decide. Should I make this longer and have the next chapter be a lemon, and continue with the basic story line in the one after that? Or should it be like last time and just have a bit of it and the main story line as a single chapter? Review or PM me your thoughts on it! XD Thank you again for reading!