A/N Many thanks once again, to my Beta Extraordinaire, KH... who tells me when things I write can be an overkill... once again... you are right!

Here's another unusal long chapter- looks like Bella needs to bail. Women...

On with the show...

Bella had just woken up.

In less than a minute I was in the house, certain I tore off the banister, apologizing to Esme along the way, and entered our room.

Rosalie had my Bella in her arms.

"Edward!" She reached out for me.

"I got here as quick as I could, Edward." Rosalie said, helping Bella into my embrace.

"I'm right here, sweetheart."

She was trembling.

"Bella, it's 3 a.m. you should be sleeping."

"I can't. They were here, Edward! They were here, again!"

I winced. I took her face into my hands.

"Bella, they weren't here. I promise you. You are in a house full of vampires that won't let anything happen to you. You are 100% more protected here than you ever would be in a witness protection program. "

Alice probably wouldn't approve I made the point that our house was safer than Charlie's.

"I know! But when will these nightmares stop? When will I stop seeing them?"

"Bella, it will get better. Remember what I told you?" Rosalie said, bending down to grasp Bella's face in her hands.

"Yes, Rose, I remember."

What did I miss? Rosalie and Bella must have had a chat. Alice forgot to mention this.

Even though Bella woke up screaming my name, Rosalie seemed to have the calm for Bella.

"I'll leave you two alone."

As Rosalie left the room my eyes were on Bella. She threw her arms around me.

"Ow!"

"Be careful, that rib is still broken."

She dug her face into my chest in an embrace that eased both of us.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I know you were hunting, I didn't mean to-"

"I was on my way home… to you. It was good timing."

"Do you feel better?"

"I do. I don't need to leave your side for some time now."

She started to sob silently.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Of course I knew what was wrong, but I had to let her lead. "Please tell me." I pleaded. If she was ready for this conversation now, I was ready too.

"You're my security blanket, Edward. Ever since you've come into my life, I haven't needed to worry about anything. Which I will admit was a hard fact for me to get used to, but now that I am-"

"I will always protect you, Bella."

"But you didn't- where were you?"

My body just died all over again.

"Bella, I would have given my immortal soul to have been there for you. I would have done ANYTHING to change what happened."

"I know Edward, I know…"

"Please, please… sweetheart you have to believe me."

"I do believe you. I'm used to you sweeping in and saving me. That's all I could think about when it was happening. That you'd show up… I kept waiting-" She stopped suddenly, the realization of what she was saying, clouding her face. The truth of her feelings was surfacing.

"No Edward, I didn't mean it-" She sobbed.

"It's okay, Bella." I said evenly, without emotion. "Go to sleep."

"I didn't mean it… I'm so sorry…"

"Shhh… love, its okay."

Bella moved away from me and retreated back into the fetal position I'm sure she had woken up from.

There was a quiet in the room that weighed heavily on both of us. I didn't know what to say or how to take the pain away. After a couple of minutes I knew she was struggling to fall back asleep. I had to relax her and ease her slumber. I pulled out the no-fail plan, and that was to hum her lullaby.

As I held her in my arms, the familiar feeling of guilt overtook me. I have always blamed myself for what happened. But her thought process was dead on, she was right- I always did save her, and she could always rely on my vampire senses to protect her. However, this time, everything was against me, against her, against us. She had every right to rely on my instincts- it had saved her before. I had no right to be upset with her for her feelings in regard to my failure to protect her from what happened. She had every reason to feel this way.

Damn those wolves and the block they created in Alice's visions.

I wish I could blame Jacob, but I couldn't. I knew he would have stopped this if he could.

He wasn't her true protector.

I was.

And I failed.

Frustration filled my body and my mind could think of only one thing.

I didn't save her.

Why didn't I? Why couldn't I?

I started to sob dryly and silently against her back. These men that did this had hurt more than her and Charlie, they hurt me, my family, everyone Bella loved and who loved her back.

Even Jacob.

After a minute or two of self-loathing, I made myself again focus on the positive. She's still breathing. My absence left her with a nightmare she would have to overcome… that we both would. But she was still breathing and alive.

I thought about the conversation Alice and I had and I would have to trust in that – we would be fine and things would return to normal.

I would just have to love her.

No problem there.

I held her close to me until morning came. At around 7 a.m. Bella started to stir in my arms.

With her back to me, I knew she had opened her eyes.

"Good morning." I whispered into the back of her neck.

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

"Um… I'm okay."

Something didn't sound right. The comfort that my arms usually provided for her wasn't working this morning. I wasn't sure if I should speak or let her lead. I decided to remain quiet.

After a few minutes of nothing filled with my wish to read her mind, she spoke.

"I think I'd like to go downstairs for breakfast, if you don't mind. After I shower that is."

"Whatever you wish love."

Just love her. I can do that.

"Would you like for me to call Alice to help you?"

"No I think I've got it."

"Okay, would you like me to help you into the bathroom at least?"

"No, thank you."

Our banter was odd. It was as if we were speaking to each other carefully. It wasn't natural, it wasn't us. I didn't like it.

I got up from the bed and exited the room. I closed the door behind me and paused. This was so hard. I didn't like where we were. I didn't want this to be happening. It felt wrong to be so disconnected with her and there was no way for me to fix it.

I headed downstairs.

Pity.

My family's thoughts were cloaked in it, for me, for her, for us.

Have faith, Edward. Just love her. I could hear Alice say.

I know.

I nodded to her.

I moved into the kitchen and Esme was already working on breakfast for Bella.

It will be okay, Edward. You two will work through this. You love each other too much.

Esme's words and warm smile comforted me. I couldn't imagine being without Bella. And for the moment I had to rely on the fact that she must feel the same way too.

I helped Esme by grabbing some bread and slipping it into the toaster. I got out a plate and set it at the table for her along with a fork, spoon and knife.

It was odd, such a human thing to do, set the table. I could imagine myself setting up a place for me to eat next to her. I would give anything to be human for Bella. I've actually day-dreamed about growing old with her, fathering her children, having a family, even right down to cooking and eating with her, relishing in her favorite foods with her.

That wasn't our reality. What stood ahead of us was a path no one had traveled before. We would be trailblazers, guessing and deciding as we went along. It was something I tried to prevent, while she was happy to encourage it. I just hoped that now, today, she still yearned for it. I had to believe that our life together was still possible.

I heard Bella stepping out of the bathroom upstairs and asked Alice and Rosalie in the living room from the kitchen to check on her to make sure she didn't need help.

I didn't hear their response, but I did hear them walk up the stairs to fulfill my request.

Relax Edward, I see this working. She's going to need her space and she's going to ask you for it today. Alice conveyed to me without uttering a word.

"Today? I'm not ready for it yet, Alice! I'm not ready to let her go!" I responded.

Doesn't matter, Edward. I understand your hesitation. But you have to comply. Trust me.

A huge sigh left my mouth. I would watch Bella eat breakfast and would suggest we take a walk, maybe I could talk her out of it.

I would listen to Alice's visions and advice, but I wasn't going to give up without a fight.

The second the plan popped into my head, I did what I could to stay out of Alice's. I couldn't accept the fact that she would leave this house, at least not today.

Esme placed a ham and cheese omelet on Bella's plate along with the toast I prepared for her.

Alice and Rosalie rounded the corner with Bella, who looked happy to see me.

The happiness she had in the sight of me left me confident in abandoning Alice's advice. My plan might just work.

Her visions were based on people's decisions, right? Well my decision might be stronger than Bella's.

If I just convinced her, made her change her mind… this can work…

"Good morning honey!" Esme greeted Bella.

"Good morning, Esme." Bella responded as she eyed the plate in front of her.

"Hi, sweetheart. Sit, eat breakfast. I think Esme's outdone herself again." I said, pulling the chair out for her.

"I'm sure she did, everything I've had here has been nothing less than stellar."

Bella picked up her fork and began to stab at her omelet. I looked around the kitchen and didn't even realize that everyone had left us.

"I thought maybe we could stretch your legs and take a walk when you were done. Sound good?" I asked.

"Yes, I think I would like that."

"Good."

Here we go again with the niceties. I couldn't stand the uncomfortable politeness between us.

Bella finished her breakfast and got up from her chair.

"I think it's time for me to stretch my legs."

I complied by getting up and taking her arm to help her out of the house.

Once we were outside, I let her arm go to see if she wanted my help. She surprised me by taking my hand.

Ahh… she still wanted me. She may have not wanted me to help her, but she still felt the need to touch me.

I felt like I was gaining victory over Alice.

I wanted to lighten the mood and make her forget about the serious conversation that was looming.

"Did you like the toast? I made it."

"I loved the toast, it was very good – just the right amount of crunch." Bella chuckled.

The sound of her surprised giggle was music to my ears.

"Oh… do it again… Bella." I begged.

"Do what again?"

"Laugh." I answered, squeezing her hand.

"I'm sorry I haven't been doing much of that lately. And since I'm on the topic of apologizing…"

"What?"

"I'm trying to apologize to you."

"Why on Earth would you apologize to me?"

"I haven't been acting like myself lately, and I'm not sure when I will again. I'm afraid I'm bringing you down with me. It's not my intention at all-"

"Stop it! You've been through a horrible catastrophe and look at you? You're still here, with me. It's all I'm thankful for." I said, putting my arm on the small of her back, caressing it.

"Yes, but I'm afraid over the last couple days, I've-"

"No! I won't hear it… I won't hear you feel bad for how you think you've been acting."

"How have I been acting, Edward?"

It was an honest question, asked with sincerity. She wanted to know how she had been behaving, or more to the point how I've reacted to her behavior.

I paused. I couldn't talk. She knew I was stalling.

"Edward?" She asked, stopping, gazing at me and waiting for an honest answer.

"Well, Bella, I… you haven't hurt my feelings at all, if that's what you're wondering."

"I would never want to do that. I love you." She gingerly put her arms around me and much to my surprise, pulled me into a tight hug, Bella style.

"I know, love, I know…" I hugged her back feeling good about where this conversation is going.

"That's why it's hard for me to say what I have to next."

No! I was wrong… it was still coming.

"No, Bella, please don't leave."

"Edward, I just-"

"Listen, I know you may feel like you need distance from me, from us. But it's a mistake, Bella. It's a mistake! Let me talk you out of it."

"Alice?"

I nodded.

"I should have known, of course she would have seen this coming."

We were stopped about 100 feet down the driveway from the front door. I imagined my family was listening to every word.

"Alice told me that I would have to let you go. I can't! I can't let you out of my sight, Bella! Not after I came so close to losing you! Do you know? Do you have any idea what you are asking me to do? I can't do it!"

I had my head pointed to the ground, staring at our feet. I couldn't bring it up to look at her. I was too afraid of her reaction. Damn Alice's vision, damn what she told me to do. I couldn't let her go.

Her silence spoke a thousand words. I let out a large breath in defeat and raised my head to meet her eyes. I knew she was crying. I could smell her tears.

"I don't want to do this, Edward. The last thing on this earth I want is to hurt you."

"Why then?" I shuddered.

I should have known better to think I could outsmart Alice. I tried to change it, but she probably saw that too.

When I heard the words come out of Alice's mouth, I knew it would be hard for me to accept when it came to fruition, the pain that followed though, was worse than I imagined. I believed my heart was beating in this moment, because I felt it breaking.

The two of you aren't breaking up, you are just going to have to let her go. I remembered the words she had for me. I couldn't process them at this moment. It only felt like I was failing her.

"Please Edward I don't expect you to understand this, I'm not sure if I even do. I just know that right now in order for us to get past this, I need distance. I need to be by myself. I have to repair what has happened to me in order for me to be with you again, fully. It scares me to be away from you. It really does. I just need to remember why…"

"Why what?"

"I don't know… I just can't find the words to explain it."

She couldn't tell me, but I knew. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew we both were on the same page, same paragraph, and same sentence. I knew that she didn't want to go, but she knew… and I did too… that she had to.

She needed time. Away from me. To remember how important we were to each other.

I could feel tears building up inside, wishing they could meet my cheeks. Bella saw my anguish and through her expression, I knew she wanted it for me too.

"Oh, Edward!"

Bella started to make up for my lack of tears. She dug her wet face into my chest and I grabbed her more forcefully than I ever had, wincing at the fact that I may have caused her harm. I thought if I could keep her here in my embrace she wouldn't be able to go anywhere. I would hold her to my chest to keep her near me, to make sure she was safe.

The actual act of letting her go was much harder for me to bear, even though I was privileged to the information prior.

This is so hard.

I had to love her.

I knew she wouldn't be asking me this if it was something she knew she needed. I believed in us. I believed in our future. I know that she would never intentionally hurt me, as I her.

Have faith, Edward. I heard Alice's thoughts echo back to me.

I would have faith. It was time for me to be strong.

For both of us.

"Bella, please don't cry." My hand cupped her chin to bring her eyes into mine. "I know you love me."

"I do. More than you'll ever know."

"Than I will do this for you. Just don't expect me to like it."

"No, I don't like it either. But I will come back to you, Edward. I promise."

"When?" Even though I knew the answer.

"Today."

I let out another deep sigh. Alice, of course, was spot on. I should have known it would come to this. I just couldn't accept it.

"Right now?" I asked.

"As much as I don't want to say 'yes' I should." She looked at me with sullen eyes. "The sooner I say goodbye to you, the sooner I can say hello."

It made sense. As a vampire, I always knew I had time. But the time I spent away from Bella was excruciating and I wanted her back as soon as possible.

I decided to succumb to her wish.

"Bella, I have to ask, are you sure? What if-"

"We can't think about what ifs Edward. Nothing will happen to me. I want to stay with you I do. But I've gotten so used to-"

"Having me save you."

"Yes. It's not fair to you, I can't expect it all the time."

Bella turned away from me, sobbing. I turned her back to me and cupped her chin to pull her face to mine.

"I just need some time away from you to…"

"You need to learn to live without me?"

"No, that's not it…"

"I envy you Bella." I rubbed a tear between my thumb and forefinger.

"If only I could relish in this release." I said silently, dropping my head to the ground.

"Oh… God… Edward… I'm so sorry. Please. This is something I have to do for me, for us."

She placed her tiny arms around my waist and I embraced her. Her tears fell onto my shirt and I could feel the salt of them through the fabric.

Just love her. She's confused. She needs time.

"Well then, I guess we better get you home."

We walked and she kept her arms around me. Through her embrace, I wondered if her words agreed with her actions. It was almost as if she didn't want to leave me. Regardless of what her head was telling her, I cherished the feel of her. I would file it away and bring it to the forefront of my mind in the days to come when I wasn't with her.

We walked in silence and I continued to keep a firm grip around her. We entered the house and stood in front of the stairs.

"Do you-"

"No, I think I've got it."

We climbed the stairs, her in front of me, I with a protective stance behind her to help if she needed me.

She didn't.

This is for the best, Edward. I heard Alice tell me.

We entered my room and it seemed Bella had more strength than I thought. She started to pack up her things.

"Do you need help?" I asked.

"No. I think I've got it. But thank you." She said, the polite edge returning to our conversation.

I didn't like it.

I had to try once more.

"Bella, please? Is this really necessary?" I pleaded with her.

She was in the bathroom and I heard a cease in her packing, followed by a deep sigh.

She returned from the bathroom staring at me across the room.

"You have to believe me. I'm doing this for us."

"I do. I just-"

"I know how hard this is for you." She said with empathetic eyes. "We are okay, I promise."

"Promise me?" I could rely on Alice's visions, but I needed to know from her, I had to be reassured.

"Yes." She said, walking towards me. She gingerly started to kneel before me, while I helped her down as I remained sitting on the bed. She grabbed my hands, brought them to her face and closed her eyes. "Just because I'm going to be with Charlie, doesn't mean you can't visit me."

A wave of relief flooded me. Even Jasper wasn't this good.

"Do you mean that? I can still see you?"

"Of course, Edward. This doesn't mean that I don't want you near me at all. I just feel the need to be in my own house, my own room, being… well… me."

"Okay, love."

"Does that make you feel better?"

"Yes." I answered.

Bella packed up the rest of her things, without my help as she requested and I watched. She placed several bags at the door and then turned to me.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Okay, your chariot awaits." I motioned my arm forward, still trying to accept the situation, through a gentlemanly gesture.

She giggled.

"I'll say this much, Mr. Cullen. You can still manage to make me feel good, even though I know you're doing something you don't want to do."

"Bella, I will always try to make you happy. I believe we will be together." I said, walking towards her, ready to pick up her bags. "That and I may also have a home court advantage." I smirked at her, letting her know that Alice had the inside scoop.

I couldn't help it, I leaned down for a kiss.

Bella leaned in towards me, taking the kiss and returning it. I grabbed her face and opened her mouth to let me in. She returned it with her tongue wrapping around mine as her arms snaked around my head grabbing my hair. I wrapped my arms around her lower back, supporting her stance, so she wouldn't feel any pain in her movements.

Our mouths moved together for a solid forty-five seconds before I pulled away and heard a soft moan, followed by a deep sigh.

"Now you do this to me? Now?" She said exasperated, a small smile escaping her.

"I have to leave you wanting more, don't I?" I smiled.

"That's dirty pool, Cullen, dirty pool."

I chuckled.

She did too.

"I should probably get you home."

"Yes, Charlie is expecting me and I think he may be a little too excited for a good meal. I called him last night and told him I'd be home today."

Yeah… that said it. Her decision was stronger than mine.

Ugh… Alice… you were right.

We descended the stairs to see my family at the bottom of it.

"We know you have to go, Bella, and we understand." Esme said, pulling her into a gentle hug.

"I want to thank everyone for everything."

Alice came forward to say her goodbyes.

"And we didn't have time for that makeover, did we?"

"I'm still wondering if we should ever." Bella chuckled.

"I know you are going to let me and I know where you live, so don't put up a fight." Alice responded.

Rose walked up to Bella and embraced her. "If you need to talk-"

"I know." Bella simply said. "Thank you."

Emmett pushed Rose aside and took Bella into his arms.

"Ouch-" Bella squealed.

"Emmett!" Everyone said in unison.

"Sorry, I guess you aren't completely healed yet. I'll have to work on that." He looked back at Esme who was giving him a disapproving look.

"We will miss you, Bella. We will still be watching over you, even though you aren't here." Carlisle said, kissing Bella on the forehead.

Jasper stepped forward, "If you need me to keep this one at bay..." He said, motioning to me, "…give me a call."

"Thank you everyone, I couldn't have asked for a better place for recovery or for a better family." Bella said, choking on her last words.

"Okay, love, let's go." I said, motioning her towards the door with her bags in tow.

Even though the goodbyes at my house were light, the heaviness of what loomed over us took presence in my Volvo.

After a few minutes we pulled up to Bella's house.

"Will Charlie be home soon?" I asked, looking at her.

"Soon I think, he knows I was coming home." She answered.

"I'd like to wait with you and help you get settled in, since he's not here, if you don't mind?" I asked.

"Okay." She answered with a smile.

I helped Bella out of the car first before I worried about her bags. We climbed the stairs to her front door while she got out her keys.

Once we entered the house the familiar scent and feel of Charlie's house flooded my senses and it drove home the fact that Bella wished this over my house, my family, my protection. I did my best to push it away.

This is what she wants, for now…

"Let me help you up the stairs, love, please."

"Edward, I think I'm-"

"Please?" I pleaded. "Even though you aren't at my house anymore I still want to fulfill my duties in taking care of you." I stated it simply. She had no argument.

"Okay." She succumbed.

My arms moved around her waist, while I directed us to the stairs.

"Easy." I said, while we started to climb.

We reached the top of the stairs and Bella's legs quickly took her to her room. Once inside, she walked around her bed and looked at the things she hadn't seen for a few days: her bulletin board with pictures of us, her friends, magazine clippings, her mom, and then she focused in on a picture of her and Jacob.

"Why hasn't he called me back? Or even Mom?" She asked rhetorically, sighing. "Edward, I guess you are the only one who truly cares for me, huh?"

Wow. How in the world do I respond to that? In all reality, I should have been happy. But I wasn't.

Bella collapsed onto her bed and started to cry.

"I thought walking into my room would comfort me, and now, I feel so alone." She said before her tears took over her speech.

"What? Alone?" I asked, crawling on the bed to spoon her. "No… no… Bella, you aren't alone." I said, tightening my embrace on her and feeling a little wounded.

"No, I'm not alone, am I? I have you, don't I?" She said.

"Yes, you do. I'm sorry, if I'm not enough." I responded.

"Not enough? You are. I just don't know what I am saying anymore! See? That's why I had to leave! I keep hurting everyone! I can't anticipate what I'm going to feel, it's just so… random… I'm so sorry…"

"Relax, love, I'll get your bags out of the car and then make you some lunch, okay?"

"Okay." She replied with tears.

"I'll be right back."

I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading. Y'know... no one said I didn't like reviews...