Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters.
A/N: Parts of this chapter come from the book but from Jarred's point of view.
Come Back
Chapter Eleven
Welcome to Seattle
I couldn't help being amused at the sensation flowing in me from just seeing a simple road sign. Eager anticipation is as best as I can describe it.
Since the invasion of Souls, I have not been to Seattle except on raids for food. This time we are here for one reason, we are here for Wanda, to find her a new host body.
It's a selfish need, a human need we have that I hoped she would understand and see reason when she woke in her new body – It's our inability to respect or accept her last wish to be allowed to die and laid to rest with Walt and Wes after she was removed from Mel. There is no other way for us to act. We have all lost so much already and even though I once hated Wanda with every fibre of my being for taking my reason to exist from me, and then to show up in Mel's body to torture me... I cannot find any hatred in me towards her now, the very thought repulses me. My body shook slightly as a thought crossed my mind. It was how close I had come to killing her. I shuddered again; I would have not only murdered her but Mel as well. I didn't know it was possible for a human to live on after a Soul had been inserted, albeit trapped inside their own body.
Wanda had given Mel back to me and that is a debt that can never be repaid in full, but she had done more than that. I see Soul's differently because of her. Gone is the huge burden of hatred I carried. To have it lifted – to not have the deep seeded hate in me anymore is equal to drowning man reaching the surface and inhaling the deepest lung full of air – to be elated to breathe again – to feel again. Hate is a human emotion that incapacitates rational thinking and stops us being human in every sense of the word. To be free of it, to feel the highs and lows of life as we are meant to experience, is a gift I will never take for granted again.
But, Wanda felt she had no place with us even though she loves Ian. It is our turn to show her how wrong she is. Not one of us will accept her decision to not live as a human anymore. And there is our selfishness for her to endure. We can't let her go. Is it so different than how her species would respond, they would find her another host body so she can continue to live. Are we so different really?
My final words to Wanda before Doc took her out of Mel were a lie to a point, something a Soul is able to do apart from the Seekers of their kind – but there was some truth in my words as well. I cannot imagine our life without her. I do love Wanda as much as one can for a friend. I freely risk my life to bring her back, the same as Mel and Jamie are doing. It isn't something to even consider, we just act upon our need to have her back. Wanda is family; there is nothing else to it.
Even tucked away in her hibernation tank, she continues to give my family so much. Mel, Jamie and I have been travelling for two days in this van. This is the first time we have spent together as a family alone since I lost her to the Soul's and I thought she was dead. These past few days have been exactly what we needed to heal. We have laughed, we have cried, we took in the moments to reflect and on one occasion to vent. Well, Jamie vented – it was good for him to get out the deepest pain he has carried for a long time. It was the closest he and Mel had come to having an argument. But, by and large, she handled it well. I barely felt the need to say anything to keep things calm between them.
It's hard for Mel, she is his sister but her role is definitely more of a mother figure to him. Last night, Jamie asked her if there was anything he could have done to have stopped her going to look for Sharon. Her answer was honest when she answered 'no' to him, but she also made it clear that she was a different person then. If, given the same choice now, she would not have left us alone.
To hear those words come from her mouth filled my heart to the point of bursting out of relief and love. But Jamie took on the negative and was hurt by her answer.
"If I was your son and not your brother, would you have stayed?" he asked her bluntly.
It took her a long time to answer him, but not for the reason he assumed. "Jamie, I couldn't love you anymore than I do, as if you were my son. You and Jared were all I could think of when I was trapped in my mind. I fought so hard to hide you from Wanda and the Seeker, to protect you from the same fate I foolishly put myself in. Doesn't that tell you how much I love you?"
"You had to think about that" he said sadly "I don't think you would have gone if I had been your son." He said still hurt.
"That's not true, I just didn't fully appreciate the consequences of what I was doing back then and that is all." Mel voice was level and full of patience. "I am still worried about hurting you."
"It seemed quite easy for you to leave me." And there, in that moment was his pain finally spoken out loud.
"That is not true, Jamie. How can you say that?" This made her angry; to be accused to leaving us with any ease. I knew this was not the case, but this is clearly something Jamie believed all this time and clearly still does.
"Because you left me. You left Jarred. I was not enough to make you want to stay with us." His eyes whelmed up speaking his pain. "You just left me" The hurt in voice shot pains in my chest hearing it. I could only imagine what it was doing to Mel. Jamie turned his body so he faced the window as his emotions spilled over, he didn't like her seeing him cry. I reached over placing my hand on his shoulder in comfort but said nothing. This was his pain; he had the right to express it.
"It wasn't like that" I looked down to see her hands twisting, with each other knowing they were unwelcomed to comfort her brother, only now they were catching the tears she silently cried. More and more pains shot through me seeing my family like this.
"Mel" I said softly. My hand left Jamie's shoulder and cupped the side of Mel's head, pulling her into my chest. She pressed herself into my side as I kissed the top of her head in comfort. After a moment I reached out for Jamie again, making sure he knew I was there for him as well.
It was frustrating not being able to pull over, to do so would have only drawn attention to us. Safety first but my heart ached to hold my family in my arms, to take their pain away.
"Jamie, please believe me. I love you. I love you so much I feel like I will break. You are constantly in my thoughts. Believe me, please." She begged turning slightly to face him again.
"I do believe that now, but I know I wasn't enough then, when you left." His voice broke. "You don't know what it felt like, Mel."
"I know what I felt being parted from you. Don't you understand? It killed me inside, Jamie." She lifted her head now and almost fully turned towards him. "I will never be able to make this up to you, I know that. But please don't think I didn't love you enough, Jamie. I can't take that."
His head lowered into his chest. "You know Jarred didn't do so well when you were gone either." I knew Jamie didn't say this maliciously, he just wanted to explain what happened, how he felt.
"I know." She whispered.
"No, you don't." He turned to face her now. "You broke him, Mel" I noticed his arm wrapped around himself. He did that right up until Wanda came back. He held himself together; who else was there after all, the kid was basically left alone. I didn't care for him when he needed me the most. Not in the way he needed to survive emotionally. I had failed him. The pain I feel inside knowing this will stay with me always, but it is nothing compared to his pain. A child's hurt is beyond reckoning and will haunt me always. There was a small part of me that was aware enough to know I wasn't giving him the love he silently cried for. I was numb to life, nothing seemed real. My mind, my body simply shut down. The pain was too great to feel, to endure. I didn't even know how to breathe back then, let alone comfort a child heartbroken from losing his family.
"It was like he had died too." Jamie whispered his grief. How true his words were, I did feel dead inside. "You left me, Mel, but I watched Jarred die."
That did it. Words that are inescapably true pushed me over the edge. I felt the moisture of my tears coating my cheeks as my heart ripped apart. "I'm sorry, Jamie" I said choked up trying to speak. "I wish I had been stronger for you."
Mel's body shook turning into mine again as she sobbed silently.
"I don't blame you, Jarred. I was just saying how hard it was, for us both." Jamie faltered seeing his family so emotional.
"What do you want me to say? I can't change what I did." Mel said through her sobs "I just know I will never leave you again, either of you." Mel kept her head down; her hands over her face were soaked from her tears.
Jamie didn't say anything for at least five minutes then suddenly he reached over wrapping his arms around her waist. She hugged him back holding him tight as they cried together. Nothing more was spoken. An understanding had silently been reached. Mel leaned against me; I put my arm around her as I kept driving. Jamie fell asleep in his sister's embrace. Everyone's emotions spent.
It was something I will always keep with me as the memory faded from my thoughts. It was time to focus. I drove to the outer edges of the city where I knew the bushland was overgrown enough to hide the van. Jamie's eyes were bright with the thrill of the next phase of our journey – to look for a suitable female host body to give Wanda a new life with us, with Ian. Mel was keen to get started as well. We took a short time to eat before setting off for the suburban streets on foot. The light was sufficient to not draw attention to our eyes but light enough to make out general appearances of faces.
Jamie was looking for an angel. It was his way of describing Wanda for bringing Mel back to him and for everything she has done for everyone. I liked the sound of his requirements but worried he had set the bar too high for him to agree on any female.
We had learnt enough from Wanda to not act suspiciously around the Souls that past us. Hiding and ducking was hard to avoid when instincts screamed out to you to do exactly that. Even harder, was to not appear overly watchful of my family as we walked around the streets. Mel was a little more edgy in her movements than Jamie. He seemed oblivious to the danger we were in being out amongst the Souls, he was so focused on finding 'the one'.
My hand brushed against Mel's frequently. I was unable to stop my hand from taking hers for brief seconds. It was impossible to force myself to be in more command of my actions. I simply had to have that contact with her, it was like to trying to hold my breath for long periods – sooner or later I had to breathe.
We saw many female Souls, none really stood out to any of us as potentials. I was starting to wonder if we all had set the bar too high for Wanda's host. It was getting too dark to make out faces clearly so we began to head back to the van. We were not two streets from it when a car pulled up ahead. Instinctively, we all slowed our pace down. A girl got out. Jamie stopped instantly.
Long blonde waves covered the girls face as she leaned in to talk to the driver of the car. Her slight frame was without a doubt appealing. I could just barely hear her voice as she spoke; it was certainly a pleasant sounding tone. Cherub like – soft and caring. Something the driver said made her giggle, it made me smile and I had no idea what was said to her. Finally, she stepped away from the vehicle and we got to see what she looked like.
"Angel" Jamie whispered.
I would peg her to be around her mid teens. Her face was gentle with a definite glow to it. Innocence exuded from her very presence. The girl's skin tone was light.
"Peaches and cream" Mel described it perfectly as if she had been reading my mind.
The girl walked up to the house she had been dropped off at. I hoped this is where she lived. As we walked past, I kept a watch to see how many lights came on, especially the upper floor. Annoyingly, none were turned on upstairs. We had to keep walking to be sure we didn't raise suspicion. The best way to observe her was at night. We would leave it an hour before coming back and to essentially spy on the girl.
Jamie almost bounded his way back to the van. He didn't need to say anything to know how much he approved of this girl.
"Settle down, we don't know if she is the right one yet." Mel said concerned that Jamie was not going to give any other females a glance after seeing this girl.
"Are you kidding, didn't you see her. She is everything an angel would look like." He said excitedly.
We were doomed if she turns out to be unsuitable I thought to myself.
"But is she alone in her mind. You know that is what we have to establish first. Wanda will not stay with us if she has to share the host mind again." I said to back Mel up.
Jamie just rolled his eyes grinning. It was hopeless; he was set on this girl. All Mel and I could do was hope that she was alone in her mind. Something we would never wish for at any other time, but this was an exception.
"How old do you think she looked?" Mel asked me but I could see she had her own opinion of the girl's age.
"Mid teens" I shrugged not wishing to really say how young she looked.
"Yeah, that is what I thought as well. Too young?" she questioned.
Though we wanted to give Wanda a chance to experience as long a life as possible, we also had to consider Ian and Wanda's relationship. Too young would be heartbreaking for them both.
"I'm hoping for sixteen, but she does look young. Fifteen, maybe?" I said with uncertainty. "If she is, it would make her unsuitable for Ian."
"He will love her!" Jamie said frustrated. Jamie's youth clouded his understanding to the complexities of when an age difference is too much between partners and one is clearly too young to be involved intimately.
When Mel and I first met, she was only seventeen and I was twenty six. The extreme frustration she felt when I refused to give in to the overwhelming desire we both had to make love was a well earned. If she only knew how I wanted her, constantly. It wasn't a mere desire, that didn't come close to what it was like. From that first kiss I wanted Mel and it wasn't because I thought she was the last human female on earth, the chemistry between us has always been beyond tameable. Oil and fire.
Her eighteenth birthday was a celebration that had been building like a sun going super nova. I never dreamed I could love someone so deeply, so completely. Mel made me whole. To be as one with my Mel is so much more than experiencing the euphoria of physical release, it is more than an emotional embrace of our love, and it is more than a spiritual experience where two souls become one. What word you could use to describe these components that only managed to encompass descriptively emotions, sensations – feelings that had no boundaries and then turn them in as a single word – I don't know. Could such a word even exist? All I know is how much I love Mel, she is mine – I am hers, always and beyond this life.
I never regretted waiting for Mel to turn of age, it was the right thing to do and I know Ian is equally as ethical as I am when it comes to such matters. If the girl is fifteen or younger, she will have to be dropped for consideration, it is only fair. I have no intention of being cruel with how much Wanda and Ian love each other. It was hard enough to wait less than a year to be with Mel, I won't do the same to Ian.
My hand reached out to stroke Mel's cheek as my love for Mel flowed through my body as it always does, but especially so when she is close to me. I saw in the corner of my eye, Jamie turn around and pretend to be preoccupied with something.
He has been amazing since Mel came back to us. Understanding and considerate of giving Mel and I some space. Though I will not give in to my constant desire to be intimate with Mel while we are away, I am however, as incapable as I was when I first met Mel to keep my distance from her completely. I have to have some physical contact with her to remain sane. It's like an addiction.
Snippets of the moment I first met Mel began to form in my mind. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up enjoying the added sensations this memory gives me. It wasn't long before I was seeing it in full.
It was suppose to be an easy snatch and grab of food from this small house. The Souls were not home and no dog to arouse any alarm to anyone who may hear it. My hand began to extend to open the door of the patio when I saw someone inside. Under my breath I mumbled my oath out of anger and irritation for being discovered. 'So much for the easy snatch and grab' I thought hearing the person react to my presence.
It was female – at least this would be an easier Soul to subdue. She turned to run but I was quicker. I yanked the door wide open and had my hands gripping her shoulders firmly, pulling her into my chest. My knife drawn I pushed it to dig into her throat hard enough to threaten but not draw blood.
"One sound and you die" I said angrily.
"Do it!" She responded.
I have never heard a Soul say that, it wasn't in their nature to encourage violence.
"Just do it. I don't want to be a filthy parasite!" She pushed me to carry out my threat.
This stunned me, throwing me for a second. Did this Soul not like pretending to be a human? Surely there were easier ways to be rid of the body it wears? Or is this a rouse, to make me feel some pity for it? Sneaky... but it won't work; this one must be a Seeker. That thought woke up my senses to have my heart pounding in my chest. Only a Seeker can lie - which can only mean one thing... I am in a lot of trouble.
"Clever" I uttered as my body tensed up. "Must be a Seeker. And that means a trap. How did they know?" I questioned but my instincts were more in control than needing to hear the 'How's" of my impending capture and death. I readied myself for using this Soul as a hostage. They won't sacrifice one of their own; it was the only leverage I had for the moment to escape. My hand wrapped tightly around its throat. I listened for their approach, but I couldn't hear anything.
"Where are the rest of them?" I demanded, squeezing my hand tighter still.
"It's just me!" she could barely speak. Her elbow hits me in the gut but I barely notice it. I almost felt like laughing at her feeble attempt to wind me. How they took over the planet still baffles me, they are not fighters for the most part.
Suddenly her heel jabs into my instep, taking me by surprise that is fighting back. It annoyed me I lost my balance slightly, making me wobble. It wriggles free but I had her back in seconds grabbing the bag on its back. My hand wraps around her throat again holding her in place.
"Feisty for a peace-loving body snatcher, aren't you?" I said sarcastically.
It twists and claws at my hand around her throat, I tighten my grasp annoyed.
"I will kill you, you worthless body thief. I'm not bluffing." There is no pity in me for their kind.
"Do it then!" she again pushed me to carry out my threat.
I felt a twinge of pain in my head. It was the kind of pain you feel when you become aware of something that takes you by surprise so violently it can leave you feeling nauseas. I processed the thought that if other Seekers were coming they would be here by now. There had been no lights on in the house as I approached so she had been working in the dark, which Souls don't do. Could she...
My heart raced like there was no tomorrow, I could feel it thud in my chest as my mind almost spun out of control, unable to believe the next conclusion of what she could be... human.
My gasped breath sucked in hard to this possibility. I grabbed her hair making her look up at me. My hand loosened its grip around her throat as I tried to feel for the scar on the back of her neck. Again and again I tried to feel it but nothing...
"Impossible" I exhaled my disbelief. The adrenaline had me falter; my knife fell out of my hand as I try to absorb what this means. I wanted to believe it was true but a bigger part of me – the part that had given up hope long ago of ever seeing another human – fought to not give in to fanciful eagerness to believe this girl could be one. I reached down into my pocket looking for the tiny torch I carried. There is only one way to know for sure my mind screamed at me – The eyes, check her eyes.
I turned on the light shinning it in her left eye – NOTHING. The girl squirms more under my grasp, I held her hair tighter so I could check again. From eye to eye I shine the light in them. Not one speck of silver in them. It took me moments to pass, to accept what I was seeing.
It's true... The magnitude of emotions racing through my mind and body exceeded anything I thought I could feel.
She is the first human I have seen in years... and she is beautiful. My heart swells inside me as reality sets in.
"I can't believe it" I whispered "You're still human."
Overwhelmed – I impulsively held this girls face in my hands and kissed her. Out of happiness, out of joy and everything else in between I claimed her lips with mine. I felt like I was floating. I felt...
The relief was exquisite as the years of agony were torn away from my being. In its place were emotions I couldn't make out, there were too many raging inside. The instant bond I felt towards this girl was overpowering. My thoughts and emotions sucked in from the universe and now literally orbited around this miracle in my hands.
She had other ideas. The sudden pain my leg where she just kicked me nearly had me dropping to the floor. I gasped for air from the throbbing pain. I could barely keep my eyes open but I did, and what I saw was equally painful. To see this wonderful precious girl run from me. The fear of losing her outweighed the pain I was in from her kick. I knew if I let her get too far ahead, I may never see her again. My legs moved before I had finished thinking through the grief of losing her would mean to me. I gave chase berating myself for forcing myself on her like that. It was wrong; I had no right to do that. 'Stupid idiot, how could you?'
"Wait!" I yelled out for her to stop. I knew it was useless, she would not stop. If I were her I wouldn't either. I never gave her time to realise I was not a Soul. I've assaulted her, frightened her and forced myself on her. Way to go Howe! I couldn't have messed this up any worse than I had.
Regardless, I couldn't let her go.
"I'm not one of them!" I tried again to make her stop.
"Listen to me!" I yelled out ignoring the very real danger of exposing us both to detection. Regardless, she was my priority at this moment. "Look! I'll prove it. Just stop and look at me!" I begged.
She kept running... the urgency in me grew knowing I wasn't getting anywhere.
"I didn't think there was anyone left! Please, I need to talk to you!" I could see I was gaining on her. It amazed me how fast she was, to struggle to catch anyone up is not something I was use to.
"I'm sorry I kissed you! That was stupid! I've just been alone so long!" Please stop my heart cried silently.
"Shut up!" she almost growled at me. With that she sped off.
Incredible!
The pain in my legs burned but I pushed them to go faster, she was too important to let go. I was soon on her heals and it took everything I had to lunge and tackle her to the ground. Holding her down I made her listen, though I didn't like using such force on her.
"Wait. A. Minute." I said each word individually catching my breath.
I moved enough to roll her over, keeping myself positioned so I was straddled over her chest pinning her arms down with my legs.
I could see the fury in her eyes being trapped under me, but it's the only way to get her to see I am human, just like her.
"Look, look, look!" I tried to get her to calm down enough so she would do as I asked. I grabbed my torch and flashed the light in my eyes so she could see I was human. No silver in my eyes, just like her.
It's working, she is looking. For the longest moment, she took in my face, my eyes and what that meant.
"See? See? I'm just like you" I hoped she was able to process this enough to accept the truth.
"Let me see your neck" she demanded. This was not a good idea, I had made a scar on my neck deliberately so I would fit in better with Souls should I be noticed.
"Well... That won't exactly help anything. Aren't the eyes enough? You know I'm not one of them" I hoped she would understand my explanation of this.
"Why won't you show me your neck?" The girl doubted me, she had every right to and I would have as well.
"Because I have a scar there" I admitted. There was no point trying to hide the fact from her.
She tries to break free not trusting my eyes enough. I couldn't blame her, after all she must have been through the same lonely existence I had. Solitude messes with your head, but I wasn't about to give in either. I use my hands to hold her firm under me.
"It's self-inflicted." I tried to explain "I think I did a pretty good job, though hurt like hell. I don't have all that pretty hair to cover my neck. The scar helps me blend in." I hoped she would accept this; surely it made sense to her.
"Get off me" she demanded.
I had nothing else I could say to make her believe. I couldn't hold her like this forever because of my fear of letting her out of my sight. What else can I do? I have to let her up. It's now or never, either I will lose her or I will win her over. With one movement, I get on my feet and hold my hand out offering a peace between us.
"Please don't run away. And um, I'd rather you didn't kick me again either." I watched her carefully, she didn't move. My stomach was tied up in knots to the point I was nauseas from not knowing what she would do. I was pivoting on a knife's edge. I knew within myself that if she rejected me it would be a pain I couldn't take right now.
"Who are you?" she spoke softly, a whisper. I liked the sound of her voice.
With hope growing, I smiled. "My name is Jarred Howe." I allowed myself to feel some relief, though still guarded. My words came out all at once in the process. "I haven't spoken to another human being in more than two years, so I'm sure I must seem... a little crazy to you. Please, forgive that and tell me your name, anyway" I held my breath, longing to put a name to this lovely girl.
"Melanie" she whispered again.
I began to breathe again having my wish fulfilled; her name was as lovely as she is. "Melanie" I repeated. Saying it out loud was heaven to me. "I can't tell you how delighted I am to meet you." I leaned down to offer my hand to help her up.
She takes it.
Home.
It was the first word that came to my mind to describe how wonderful the sensation of her hand in mine felt to me. Melanie's hand fits perfectly. Her fingers wrap around with acceptance. I tried to bury the emotions threatening to spill over. But how could I? I didn't want to; all I could think of was Melanie. To protect her was all that mattered to me now.
I almost chuckled, directed at myself. How and why was I so compelled to feel this way? Sure, we are the last human's on earth and on that alone I would care what happened next but this was more. I couldn't help but take in how lovely she is, how I had to be near her. So quickly my life has changed.
"What now?" I heard the cautious tone in her question. I had a lot of ground to make up with Melanie, but new this was no time to let her out of my sight.
"Well, we can't stay here for long. Will you come back with me to the house? I left my bag. You beat me to the fridge."
Fear swam in her features. Her wide eyes spoke louder than any words could have expressed. She shook her head. I knew I couldn't force her to go with me but to leave her was equally unbearable. Her needs outweighed mine. I knew this easing the pain I felt knowing I had to leave her for a short time. 'Melanie comes first' I liked how quickly I pushed my needs away to make her feel safe, to protect her.
"Will you wait for me here, then?" I asked tentatively hoping she would agree to this alternative. "I'll be very quick. Let me get us some more food." Another pulsing pleasure shot through me, to say us for the first time in so long.
"Us?" She was surprised that I would include her. A momentary twinge of sadness hit me. Did she think I would not provide for us both?
"Do you really think I'm going to let you disappear? I'll follow you even if you tell me not to." I declared my intent hoping I wouldn't frighten her off.
As she absorbed what I said, I saw the change in her features. Relief washed over her. It was a beautiful thing to witness, bringing us closer together.
"I..." she began to say what I was sure to be an acceptance. Suddenly, her face turned to fear again. "I don't have time. I have so far to go and... Jamie is waiting."
I may as well of been hit by a heard of raging buffalo hearing this. This rollercoaster of emotions had me at breaking point. Stunned to hear of another human out there should have me leaping ecstatically, but I couldn't. It felt like she was slipping away from me. There is a man waiting for her... I heard my heart cry out inside.
"You're not alone?" Of course it was too good to be true. 'Lie Howe, lie your arse off to look pleased.' A nagging thought threw me though, what sort of man would let her go out alone? I questioned internally. I didn't like him already but I couldn't show her this.
"My brother. He's just nine, and he's so frightened when I'm away. It will take me half the night to get back to him. He won't know if I've been caught. He's so hungry." Melanie's stomach growls on cue but I am too distracted to care.
Her brother, a child at that, is waiting for her.
In my mind I was doing cartwheels, the Irish jig and it took every effort for me to not show it outwardly. I calmed myself down so I didn't frighten her more than she was already, which gave way to other thoughts about her. I couldn't help my admiration for her grow even further. She obviously takes her role as his protector seriously, that is quite evident. I would do anything to take the fear out of her eyes though. It takes all of my will power to not pull her into my arms and smother that fear she is feeling. I can help her take care of him, she no longer had to do this alone.
I smile at her knowing what I am about to say will bring her a huge amount of relief. "Will it help if I give you a ride?"
"A ride?" she repeated.
"I'll make you a deal. You wait here while I gather more food, and I'll take you anywhere you want to go in my jeep. It's faster than running – even faster than your running." I added as compliment to her athletic ability.
"You have a car?"
"Of course. Do you think I walked out here?" It suddenly occurred to me that she had done exactly that. And even more impressive, she was about to hike back to where ever she came from, starving all the time. No wonder she has lasted so long, she was strong, determined.
"We'll be back to your brother in no time" I promised her. "Don't move from this spot, okay?"
She nods in agreement to my request.
"And eat something, please. I don't want your stomach to give us away." I joked with her trying to lighten her stress. It did concern me though, knowing that she was so hungry.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I tried to force myself to leave and get more supplies. My hand slowly loosens, releasing hers from mine. It almost hurt to do so. I took one step away. 'I can't go' my heart cried out to me. My eyes zeroed in on her lips. Was it out of fear that she would leave or this insane need I have to be close to her, to touch her, that overwhelmed my sense of what is right and wrong? I was not in control – I had to kiss her again.
"Please don't kick me again," I plead with her as I lean forward taking her chin with my hand. She doesn't pull away.
So very softly, my lips touch hers. The chemistry between us is instant. Where we touched my skin felt like it was burning a blaze that felt amazing, sensual. I hungered for more. I pressed a little harder down on her mouth pulling her into me. She responds. Her hands, her lips welcomed my affection with so much fervour. Our tongues twisted and danced with each other, her body melts into my embrace as we lose ourselves with the growing intensity of passion. I didn't notice one of her hands wrapping around the back of my neck.
Her frightened scream as she pulled away tore through me.
"Melanie?" I quickly scanned our surroundings looking for the reason she screamed but her eyes were centred on me. "What is it?" Had I hurt her?
"Your neck" her rasp sounding voice pulled me completely out of the moment we just shared completely.
I could have kicked myself. I already knew she was fragile and I've just added to her fears.
"I told you, it is self inflicted." I reminded her reassuringly. "I am one hundred percent human." I took her hand, she was trembling. "I'm sorry"
"Yes, you did." I could see her trying to compose herself. Hesitantly, I pulled her into my arms again.
"Please don't be afraid. I will never hurt you." Her head fell onto my chest, her breathing slowed as she calmed.
"I'm sorry." She said softly.
"Don't apologize" I said soothingly "Give me fifteen minutes to fill my bag then I will be back and have you back to your brother in no time." I hoped this would help her feel more at ease.
"Yes, Jamie" she said his name with the affection of a mother. What she must have been through is beyond my will to think of right now.
"Eat, Melanie" I reminded her. She weakly smiled at me. I turned and raced off back to the house. I didn't waste a moment there, grabbed everything consumable in the cupboards filling my bag.
Even with the extra weight, I ran full pelt back to my new life. Melanie was crouched down, weary of my approach.
"It's only me" When I got to her I saw that she had a partially eaten bar in her hand. "Thank you." My hand stroked her cheek affectionately. "Keep eating while we walk. The jeep isn't far away."
I took the bag off her back when we arrived and was surprised how heavy it was. Not once did she show any sign of fatigue carrying it. Admiration towards this miraculous girl was easy to find, she was amazing.
Melanie told me where she had left her brother. I knew of the area and drove towards Jamie. Along the way, I asked her what happened, how did she know to run? She told me about her Uncle Jeb, his last visit and when her father disappeared then suddenly turned up with strangers coming towards the front door, she simply grabbed her brother and they ran. It is a miracle she got out without being caught, but she is fast. I could only imagine her carrying her little brother fleeing from her home.
It was clear talking about this wore her out emotionally, so I stopped asking questions. Melanie never closed her eyes though she did nestle into the seat. It must have been some time since she felt anything soft to sit on.
I didn't want to scare Jamie with the sound of my truck, so we hiked the last 500 hundred yards. He was in a cave that I had once used myself for refuge in my years. It was a little pokey and nothing in it to offer any comforts. But she had placed him in a safe place while she scavenged for food for them both.
Mel went in first calling out his name softly. I stayed outside, giving her time to make my presence known. The relief in hearing her voice was heartbreaking to hear. A child left alone for so long, fearing his sister would never come back, but what choice did she have?
"Jamie, I met someone while I was getting food. He's human and helped me get back here to you faster. I'd like you to meet him."
Jamie didn't answer her. I stepped around the corner cautiously. He peddled back into the tiny cave, pushing himself against the wall as hard as he could.
"Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you." His eyes darted to his sister. He was looking for silver in them and although the sun was coming up it was still too dark for him to make out our eyes. I grabbed my torch which frightened him more.
"You're safe, Jamie. Trust me, we are human." I gave Melanie the torch; she shone it in her eyes for her brother to see. Then handed it back to me and I did the same for him to see my eyes clearly.
He accepted this and allowed her to hold him then without fear.
He had tears slowly falling down his cheeks but made no sound. I turned the torch off. "I'm sorry I scared you." I gutted me seeing this, a child should never feel this, it's wrong.
I pulled the pack off my back and got some food out. His eyes soon changed, it was as if they lit up like a Christmas tree and eagerly took the food I handed him. Melanie cradled the boy in her arms as he ate. She briefly looked up at me and smiled. "Thank you"
There was more she was saying in those two words. I could see how tired she was, beyond tired.
"I've got some gear in my truck. I'll be back shortly with it and then you can sleep." I smiled down. She only nodded. "While I'm gone, can you do one thing for me please?"
"Anything"
"Eat. You are too thin." She chuckled slightly but nodded. "I'll be right back."
In my jeep I had a roll for sleeping on. It wasn't really designed for two but anything was better than the hard floor of the cave. This small bit of comfort was all I could offer Melanie and Jamie for today. Both of them needed a good days sleep. I wondered how long it had been since Melanie had slept more than a few hours at a time. I hoped knowing someone was watching over them, protecting them would give her time to sleep well.
When I got back, Jamie was already asleep in her arms. Her head rested against the cave wall. I quickly opened the roll and took Jamie from her arms. "Here, lay down on this."
"Give it to, Jamie, I'll be fine on the ground." Her self-sacrificing was one thing I would end for her.
"You both can fit on the mat. Just lay down, I will put your brother next to you when you are comfortable."
She was too tired to argue. No sooner I placed Jamie down next to her she fell asleep.
I stayed right next to them all through the day. My hand stroking her hair as I let all that had happened sink in. It didn't take long before I realised that my happiness was more than relief or anything else that came with being on my own for so long. I was experiencing something more. I felt love for these two amazing humans.
My mind came back to the present. My hand still rested on her cheek. Mel's eyes were glazed over; her serene content expression would suggest she was remembering something that made her happy. I wondered if it was the same memory as I had just had. Not willing to pull her from such a moment, I simply watched her with the deepest warmth of my love brimming over in my heart in seeing how happy she was.
Always,
Emisha xox