A/N: There's a little bit of mature content here, but it's nothing explicit.

I'm finally taking it upon myself to show some depth to Sirius and Mina's relationship. I felt like they deserve a chapter, right? I know some of you have mixed feelings about her, but I really like her and think she actually complements Sirius well. Rowan can be a bit of a sentimental pushover sometimes, but Mina's always on top of her shit.

I took the title of the chapter from an old eastern Asian superstition that around everyone's pinky is tied an invisible red string, which is connected to your soul mate's pinky. It's pretty saccharine, but it seemed appropriate.

SexyLupin101: I'm sorry - I completely missed your review last time! Thank you so much for reading! And yes, Rowan definitely still loves Remus - I think you're spot on. And no, no killing off of our protagonists haha. I guess that's a spoiler, but I think Remus deserves a happily ever after, right? I'm so glad you like Mina too! Thanks again for the review! Please let me know what you think in the future!

WalkingInAWinterWonderlandxx: Thank you! As for my story, I don't remember how it started in my head - it's been brewing there for a while. I guess I started with Remus, who's always been a favorite character of mine. He's just so tragically fascinating. I guess I wanted Remus to be happy, which is weird b/c he's not real, but that's what eventually led to Rowan. I wanted her to be someone who was clearly meant to be with Remus but was her own person with flaws and goals independent of him. So then I started thinking of how this girl would have developed into the person Remus falls in love with and in what ways they would challenge each other in the context of the original plot line in a believable manner. The story kind of developed from there. I don't know if any of that helped. I think I rambled a lot -_- I hope it helped at least a little.

SMGF1: Thank you, as always! And soonish? In the next few chapters, though in an unexpected way heh. I'm actually pretty pleased with it.

MaeveDevine: Thank you so much! My only wish is to do her work the slightest bit of justice ^^ Another double post for you!

missalex3030: Thank you! I have a lot of fun writing the scenes about Rowan's creativity b/c I can basically do whatever I want with them haha. And I'm so glad you like the letters! They're getting harder to write, but I think they add another layer. Thanks so much for your awesome reviews!

Disclaimer: I own none of this!

Chapter 10: Red Ribbons

I.

There was something so infuriating about him, that Sirius Black.

Sure, he was handsome, devastatingly so, even at eleven. She'd been just as in awe of his face as all the other girls in their year the first time she'd seen him, but as soon as she'd heard him utter a word on the train to Hogwarts on the first day, she knew she hated him. He was so pompous, so arrogant, so crass, like he'd never known a single hardship in his life. Was it possible for someone to be so privileged that he was incapable of empathizing with those even slightly less fortunate? They hadn't even arrived to the school yet, and he was already bullying anyone who wasn't bigger. She couldn't believe that they would allow someone so terrible into the school.

She'd been reading tirelessly for months about Hogwarts and about this world she was about to be plunged into. For the first time in her life, her parents had been even more lost than she, and she was terrified. How could she possibly navigate this new world alone, when all of her peers were bound to be leaps ahead of her? She'd read and read ravenously, taking in every detail about this world she could find. She memorized the faculty members' names and specialities and then researched each of those subjects as well. She knew the history of each of the school's founding members by heart, and she decided that she wanted more than anything to be in Gryffindor. She'd even stolen scarlet and gold ribbons from her mother's sewing kit secretly, determined to be a part of that glamorous house, the one of heroes and the great Headmaster himself. She'd stayed up late into the night on August 31st, modeling the ribbons in her hair and fantasizing about how wonderful it would be once she was finally able to wear them with her new school robes.

But then that horrible boy was called up to the front of the Great Hall by the witch from her research, whom she recognized as Minerva McGonagall, and that hat cried out the one word she'd been dying to hear all that time for herself.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

How? How could this have happened? She watched with horror as he smugly took his spot at the table of cheering students she so desperately wanted to join. The older students all congratulated him with warm handshakes and claps on the back. Stop! she thought. You don't know what he's like!

But the names continued to be called and more and more seats at that table were filled. There was the pretty black-haired girl she'd seen with that wretched boy, and then the fiery redhead whom she'd heard was also a Muggle born. Then there was that small frail boy with the sad expressions, and then that girl's loud friend with the messy black hair and smug grin. Even the cowardly looking round boy with watery eyes - how could he possibly belong there?

Fear struck her hard - what if he'd taken her place? Surely they wouldn't allow everyone into this house! Surely a house as great as Gryffindor would be selective, right?

Despair washed over her. She clutched the glossy red ribbon in her pocket. How could she have been so stupid as to think she'd fit in here?

But then the hat was also on her head, slipping over her eyes, and she heard that quiet voice whispering at the back of her mind.

Gryffindor. Gryffindor. Gryffindor. You're so intent on joining that table, aren't you? Where the brave of heart dwell - do you think that's where you belong as well? But what's this? So disappointed for someone who hasn't even been sorted yet. Wouldn't you like to know where you will go before you decide that your heart is broken?

She'd sniffled softly, eyes burning with shame. She bowed her head and hoped that no one could see.

Well now, cheer up, girl. I promise you won't be disappointed.

Her heart stopped. Could it really mean...?

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Applause erupted. She walked to the table in a daze. Those cheering faces all turned to her, all greeting her. Was it really happening?

That spritely dark-haired girl pulled the seat next to her out with a broad grin and waved her over eagerly. She sat down dumbly, barely registering the girl's name as she babbled to her with excitement. She wouldn't remember it the next day and would have to be reminded another two times before it stuck.

But she did remember her taking the ribbon from her hand, which Mina had somehow taken out of her robes pockets in her delirium. Her face burned with embarrassment as she realized her silent hopes had been caught, but as she looked up to deny the accusations, she saw that girl beaming brightly at her, eyes positively glowing. She leaned forward closely - Mina's cheeks blushed at the proximity - and tied the ribbon around her high ponytail with a flourish and an approving nod.

"You're really a Gryffindor now!" she'd said proudly, puffing out her chest. Mina stared at her glowing face, at her impish grin and reached up to her hair. Her fingers traced over the shining bow that was now tied proudly for all to see. The other girl's grin broadened, and she felt one growing on her own lips. She beamed.

"I am!"

II.

Mina couldn't think of a single conversation she'd had with Sirius Black that ended well.

The first time he spoke to her in their First Year was during their second class - Charms. She couldn't levitate her feather in the right way, and he called her out in front of the entire class.

"Must be because you're Muggle-born. It's okay - you were bound to be behind the rest of us," he'd said snidely. She'd felt tears well up in her eyes hotly before turning back to her feather with her cheeks burning furiously.

"Wingardium leviosa!" she'd shouted, stabbing her wand at the feather. It levitated, certainly, but then it shot straight at Sirius' chest. He shrieked girlishly and flailed to protect himself, instead catching the sharp end of the quill with his forearm. Professor Flitwick deducted points but had been so impressed that he gave them right back. Mina smugly turned to look at Sirius, basking in the teacher's praise. He looked so angry that he could've stabbed himself again with the quill and not even noticed it.

III.

She didn't know when his feelings towards her changed. She was sure they'd be enemies for life - everyone knew it, even the professors - but then one day at the beginning of their Fourth Year, he was suddenly sitting next to her beneath her favorite cedar tree on the grounds. His handsome face held a bright smile. She felt herself automatically recoil.

"Mina Surrey, will you go out with me?"

The horror must have been evident on her face - it must have been, right? - but he'd remained grinning at her. She was dumbstruck for many moments. How was this happening? What sort of cruel dream was this?

But then she took in the smugness of his features, the confidence smeared all over him. Was he really so sure she'd say yes? He was toying with her, convinced that he was God's gift to women - that even she would be thrilled about a chance to be with the great Sirius Black. That special fury - the one saved only for him - erupted from the pit of her stomach. Her wand was suddenly in her hands, and the tip was then at his chest. His eyes widened.

"Surrey, wai-"

"Depulso!"

With a shriek, he was sent flying backward into the lake, and then there was a giant splash. A large bark of laughter was heard from behind her as she fumbled for her books angrily.

"I told him she'd say no! What an idiot!" James Potter had cried hysterically.

"His face! Did you see his face?" Remus had gasped breathlessly over his laughter. They howled at their friend's misfortune, and Mina couldn't help but grin as well. At least she wasn't the only one who thought Sirius' approach was utterly ludicrous.

Finally, that handsome face broke through the surface of the lake as she stood to leave. He sputtered and coughed, pawing at his face, pushing his hair out of his eyes. He stared dumbstruck out of the water at Mina, eyes wide with disbelief and something else. Was it awe?

"Don't ever speak to me again, Black, or I'll make sure you have rocks tied to your feet next time!" she shouted over the Marauders' laughter. His blinked dumbly as she turned and stalked back to the castle. But then she heard him shout back:

"You'll say yes one day, Surrey! Just wait!"

IV.

There was a bruise on his cheek. It glowed strangely against his pale skin in the firelight of the Gryffindor Common Room. Her mind was a foggy haze of firewhiskey and the new year. There was a rhythm of heavy snoring from the floor where James and Peter had already fallen asleep. Rowan had disappeared with Remus, and she was sure it would be best to leave the couple alone.

Her chest was still light with the evening's festivities, stomach aflutter with the thrill of it all. The Seventh Year boys had taken notice of her that night, and her cheeks were still warm from the smiles and flirtatious words they'd shot her way. They were so much more mature than the boys of her year, so much more appealing. The particularly handsome boy named Johnson had been especially attentive with his forward touches and bright grin. He'd hinted at a date to Hogsmeade next month. Her stomach fluttered again.

"You're wearing that ribbon again."

Mina looked up to see Sirius smiling faintly at her. She felt her face warm slightly under his gaze, though she wasn't sure why. He hadn't paid much attention to her all night, choosing instead to revel in the new year with his mates loudly and drunkenly. She nearly reached up to feel the ribbon instinctively that was now tied around her head. She felt her guard come back up again as she realized to whom she was speaking.

"Yes," she replied warily. His smile deepened genuinely. She nearly frowned.

"It suits you," he said quietly. She stared hard at him for a moment, waiting for the next insult to come. But he simply remained smiling.

"Thank you," she responded cautiously. He nodded and looked down at his snoring friends and sighed with some exasperation.

"Amateurs. Honestly, they still can't hold their liquor," he said with a crooked grin. Mina smiled and also looked down at the sleeping pair. James' form had instinctively curled up next to Peter's. They made quite a comical image.

She then looked back at Sirius. He was still watching his friends amusedly with a small smile and eyes glowing in the dim light of the Common Room. The angles of his sharp cheekbones and strong jaw glinted masculinely. Mina frowned.

"You really are handsome," she said bluntly.

To her surprise, his eyes widened. His head jerked to face her. He stared blankly at her for a moment before a red blush spread across his cheeks.

"Are you blushing?" she asked slowly, face stretching into a steady grin. He glared at her.

"Of course not! Everyone knows that I know that I'm the best-looking bloke in our year! In all of Hogwarts!" he declared, though the red tinge still remained. Her grin broadened.

"What's this?" she continued. She inched towards him teasingly, still riding high on the new confidence the night's attentions and firewhiskey had bestowed upon her. Sirius' eyes widened as she moved closer. "Sirius Black, are you embarrassed?"

Sirius couldn't seem to move. He continued to stare dumbstruck at her, shoulders stiff. She chewed her lip amusedly and inched a bit closer again until her legs were almost touching his on the couch. She leaned forward, bringing her face close to his.

"Breathe," she whispered. Sirius glared hard at her and took in a slow breath, an attempt at discretion, but failed. She leaned back and laughed a bit. His glare deepened into a scowl, and he reached behind him and grabbed one of the cushions. He threw it hard at her, hitting in her in the face. She laughed even harder.

"So uptight!" she giggled. "Who would've thought!" She held onto the cushion as he grabbed for it, trying to pull it from her hands to hit her with it again. She laughed and laughed as he wrestled over the cushion with her, but her grip was strong. He finally gave up with a huff, and her laughter settled as she leaned back into the couch. Chest light, she looked back up at him.

"How'd you get that bruise?" she asked again bluntly.

To her surprise, his mouth twitched into a frown and then a cautious smile. She frowned. It wasn't the expression she'd expected. It was guarded, sad. He seemed to be rolling over an answer in his own head.

"Got into a bit of a row with my mother," he finally said quietly with an almost contrite smile. Mina frowned deeply.

"Did she hit you?" she asked in a hushed tone. He shrugged.

"It's certainly not the worst that's happened. It's not a big deal," he said casually. He turned back to face the fire.

Mina's frown deepened. Something in her chest clenched painfully. Rowan's words about Sirius' parents came echoing back from earlier that year. How much worse? she wondered achingly. She took in the angles of his profile and the hard line of his mouth - how much had he endured secretly? Before she could stop herself, she had reached forward to touch the shining purple bruise.

His shoulders stiffened again momentarily as her fingers grazed the sensitive skin on his face. She felt her face burn as she realized how forward she was being, but the uninhibited heat fueled by the alcohol pushed her onward. She watched him turn his face toward her hesitantly.

She didn't remember how they ended up pressed together or when they fell asleep. She remembered quiet words shared between them about his family and her ambitions to go on to the Auror Academy. His head had eventually laid against her stomach, and he'd laughed at the quiet gurgling sounds it made. She'd tangled her fingers in his soft hair and teased him that he spent more time on it than a man really should. They'd fallen asleep with their limbs tangled together. She couldn't remember ever feeling so warm.

But when they woke the next morning, he'd fallen away from her with a shout at their friends' yelps, and as their laughter settled, her body missed the pressure of his strangely. She'd clenched her fingers, remembering the feeling of his dark hair between them. She'd looked up shyly to see if perhaps he was feeling the same sudden loss, but he avoided her eye like a plague. Something in her stomach clenched painfully, and she knew that whatever had been shared between them was now lost to the passing year.

V.

He didn't speak to her in the way he used to. He didn't even look at her in the way he used to. Lily said she was imagining it, but she was certain that there was something in the way he spoke now that said he'd moved on.

She wasn't sure what it was, but there was a terrible gnawing at her stomach, in her chest. Each time she saw him, he'd smile, but not in the way he had before. His gaze didn't linger on her. He didn't lean his head down to look directly into her face. He spoke as if they were casual friends - she supposed maybe they were at this point - and then he'd smile and turn away.

It hurt. Something deep within her ached profoundly. He didn't look at any other girls the way he had once looked at her, but still, that gaze was gone. That grin, reserved only for her, was gone. She didn't know how to bring it back. But why should she want to? She hated him after all - she always had.

"Surrey."

Mina looked up to see a strip of scarlet in front of her. She frowned and looked up to see that the hand that held it belonged to him. He smiled.

"I think it fell off your bag," he said, nodding to her shoulder. She automatically reached for her bag and felt the strap - this was indeed her ribbon. She nodded and took the ribbon from his hand. Her chest clenched as she felt her fingers graze over his. His smile melted into something else, but she couldn't place it.

"Make sure you don't lose it. I know how much it means to you," he said warmly. She nodded again dumbly, silently. He smiled once more and then turned away, just like he always did these days.

VI.

She knew he was using her. They didn't speak beyond their secret rendezvous. He barely even looked at her when they were around their friends or in class and certainly not in the way that she wanted him to. Every time she came down from his high, she told herself, This is the last time, knowing that it wasn't true. In her quiet moments alone, she berated herself for being so weak, for being exactly like those girls that she'd always sworn she would never be - one of Sirius Black's playthings.

But in those moments when he'd secretly pull her into an abandoned closet or up into the Owlery, the words of derision she'd practiced countless times fizzled away. His lips and teeth would score hers desperately, hands gripping her hips, her breasts, her thighs. His fingers would pull sounds that she could hardly believe came from her own mouth. His lips would swallow her cries as she clenched around his fingers, and she'd grip his shoulders hard, fingernails digging into disheveled robes, in the soft hair she couldn't seem to forget.

She'd pant and cling to him desperately, face buried in his neck. She cherished the feeling, his scent, burned it into her mind, but she was always sure to never say his name. It would become too real, a permanent fixture in time instead of the momentary reprieve from their real lives. Sometimes he'd let her reciprocate, but often he'd simply straighten out his robes with a grimace and a soft smile. She noted he never said her name either.

"It's okay. I'm fine," he'd say simply with a tight smile. Then he'd kiss her until she was breathless again and then leave her dazed and aching with barely another word.

She admitted to herself and finally Rowan that her feelings had changed dramatically over the past year, but she knew it was just a matter of time before she began to hate him again. Sirius Black wasn't the type of boy whom she could love fully. She might allow herself some weakness, but she surely respected herself enough to never allow that.

VII.

She'd spent the past three months hating him, just as she'd thought she would.

When she'd told him that day in Hogmeade about Cillian Brown's advances, his entire body had seemed to seize. She watched him hesitantly as his face had twisted this way and that until settling into an expression of fury that had momentarily made her almost afraid.

"Brown? Are you kidding?" he'd spat. "He's the most two-faced bastard in all of Hogwarts! He just wants in your knickers!"

Her face had tightened with anger, face turning up to his defiantly. "He wouldn't be the only two-faced bastard who'd have gotten into them then! At least he actually wants to date me!" she'd accused.

His expression had faltered for a moment. "You never said you wanted to date," he'd snarled.

She'd nearly snorted. "Because you've made it clear that you never wanted anything to do with me beyond an easy fuck!"

His anger had flared again. "You're joking, right? You must be fucking joking!" he'd shouted. There were people staring. "I asked you out every week for like a year, and you always said no!"

Her fury came in crashing waves. "Like you ever fucking meant it!" she'd barked back. "All you ever wanted was to fuck me and show your mates that you could get whatever stupid girl you wanted. Well? You've basically done it! Now you can't let another guy have a go?"

They didn't say another word to each other all afternoon. For the next month, he avoided her eye bitterly at every turn, and she'd spitefully gone out of her way to ensure that Sirius saw her and Cillian together. She knew it was vengeful and low, but she wanted him to hurt. She wanted him to regret ever thinking he could use her and come out of it on top.

But Cillian wasn't better than Sirius, no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise. She knew objectively that he was interesting and funny and handsome, but she found herself more and more bored in his presence, more restless at the thought of being around him. Her body ached with the need to be touched, even though he was more than happy to be physical with her. After just a month, she regretted agreeing to being with him, and after two, she could hardly even talk to him without starting feel bitter. As graduation loomed on the horizon, she felt the lightness of relief in her chest. She'd barely had the decency to look contrite as she broke up with him. She was sharply determined to move past him and Sirius and all the boys of Hogwarts. After all, she was graduating first in their year - she had an enormous journey to conquer.

But now, he was so close, his voice low so that only she could hear. He was smiling at her in his secret way - the way he had that night in the Common Room a year and a half before - and she knew it was just for her. The grand scope of her worldview suddenly seemed so small in scale, while he was so overwhelming.

She could barely register the words that came from his mouth and could hardly remember what she'd said back. Was it a dream? But it was so warm out there in the evening light of June with the distant sounds of their friends' laughter fluttering around them. It wasn't until much later in the night - when she found herself pressed against him once again with his hands and hips pushing and prying in a way that she'd waited to feel for so long - that he so explicitly said that he loved her, that he'd always loved her. But even so, she knew. They both knew. In that quiet moment, his fingers had hesitantly laced with hers, and she'd squeezed back, and they both simply understood.

In the soft light of the early morning, they'd crept back up to Gryffindor Tower, where he'd held her tightly and whispered soft promises against her cheek, promises of life beyond Hogwarts, of his devotion to her. She'd trembled in his arms and nodded shakily, smiling up at him brightly with her face in his hands. The looming world outside of the castle suddenly seemed to fit perfectly in her hands, with his beneath hers to help catch anything that slipped between her fingers.

VIII.

She looked at the sturdy form in her sheets, where he lay sleeping deeply. She watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, the way his lips parted and the glow of his sharp cheek in the dim light that spilled in from the windows. His skin contrasted sharply against the red walls of their shared room. He was always there now, wasn't he? She reached a hand forward hesitantly and grasped his forearm. The weight of his flesh felt significant beneath her palm. Her lips trembled slightly, grip tightening.

His brows furrowed, and then his eyes opened slowly. Blinking away the sleep, he turned to see her looking at him. He frowned.

"What're you doing awake?" he asked. His voice was rough and hoarse from sleep. She cherished the sound. "Did you have another bad dream?"

Her grip on his arm tightened. Had it been bad? She couldn't remember anymore, but there was a sharp ache in her stomach, a distant loneliness in her heart. He'd felt so far away from her for a moment. But he was here, just as he always was.

"I don't know," she whispered. She leaned in so that she was pressed against his arm. His other reached over to hold her to him tightly. She felt a wave roll through her with a shudder. He pressed his lips to her hair, fingers gripping her hip comfortingly.

"Will you always be here?" she breathed. Her cheek was pressed to his shoulder, arm curling around his middle tightly. His arm squeezed her, his warmth soaking into her bones.

"Always," he whispered. "I will always be here to chase the bad dreams away. I promise."

She nodded and leaned into him, inhaling deeply. He smelled like earth and sleep. She released the breath and tried to match her own heartbeat to his.

"I love you, Sirius."

"I love you too, Minnie."

IV.

Mina opened her eyes. The light of morning spilled into her flat, shining off the walls, which were now a pale blue. Images of the flat she'd once shared with him drifted slowly away from her. The walls had been red back then. The bed had always been warm with his presence. She felt a cold line run down the side of her cheek from the corner of her eye. Her flexed her hand and reached over, knowing that she would only feel the cool sheets. She turned her head to face the space beside her.

It was empty.