PARIS IS FUCKING AMAZING! I'd such a great time! Those French ballet girls… Yuck. I've no idea how they do it, but they're so skinny. I was so jealous… I've got the change to dance at World's best Ballet School and prepare myself for the audition for the Dutch National Ballet. I'm so scared….

Alright, I won't bug you with my stupid fears anymore and just get on with the story. I'm all out of it. I've no clue what I want anymore, so I hope this is good, but don't expect to much. I'm also very confused with languages. I've been speaking French for three weeks and now I've to talk Dutch and write in English and that's just weird. I mix it up a lot and write things that don't make sense at all. Please forgive me.

"LOGAN!"

It had started again. Kendall's screaming for Logan at night was almost as bad as not having Logan here at all. I felt tears dripping on my shoulder and saw Carlos once again crying. This has been going on for too long, I decided.

Mrs. Knight made Kendall move into 2J when they found out Logan left. He hadn't said a word in almost two weeks. He ate and breathed, but that was about what you could say. He was lifeless, completely drained from everything that made him Kendall. He just sat somewhere for a whole day, eat with us and then go to bed. And then the nightmares began.

Every single night Kendall would cry himself to sleep and then scream for Logan to come back. But the genius never came back. He'd left.

Carlos sobbed while we listened to Kendall begging and pleading everyone and anything to give him back his Logan. Neither of us has slept.

I didn't believe Logan left. He was the last person to make such a move. The last time he hurt Kendall this badly was when Logan told Kendall he didn't want to be with him while Kendall loved him. He changed his mind very quick and almost ran back to Kendall when he realized he couldn't be without him. Logan would never ever hurt Kendall on purpose, or this badly. He would have done everything to find an answer to whatever was bothering him without leaving Kendall.

There was something very wrong with this situation. First thing: Logan took his engagement ring. Who would do that if he left his fiancée? If I ever left Carlos I would most certainly not take the thing that bonded us together.

Second: Logan's cell phone was no where to be found. If you looked at it you would say it's not that weird that someone left and took his cell phone, but the more I thought of it, the more I got the idea it wasn't right. Carlos' dad, officer Garcia, had come to LA when I told him this and he tracked Logan's cell phone. It led back to the Palm Woods. So the phone had to be here, but it was gone. I'd searched everywhere, 1D and 2J, the pool area, all the hallway bathrooms. Jo's and Camille's apartment. I'd called him multiple times, but Logan's iPhone seemed to have disappeared. But was still in the Palm Woods.

Third: Logan's parents had no idea where he was. No one knew. He seemed to have disappeared like his iPhone. Completely erased from earth. Logan would always tell someone where he went. He never left without anyone knowing what he was going to do. His parents were highly surprised he was pregnant. He hadn't told them. I thought I knew why, his father would just use him as a study object.

Fourth: The note. I had a bad feeling about it. Like I missed something. Logan didn't make mistakes. He just didn't and that note held more mistakes he ever made in his life.

Everyone but me and Officer Garcia –my future father in law, so weird- believed that Logan left. Mrs. Knight and Katie were completely focused on making Kendall feel better. Carlos wanted to get away from here most of the time and since I believed there was more to it than this, I was with Officer Garcia almost the whole day, searching for Logan, his cell phone and other clues that might tell us where he was.

I had a few theories. The first was that Logan did leave, but was forced to by someone. The second, the one that everyone else believe, was that Logan left and just wanted to get out. In that case he would show up again, but this was becoming very unlikely. Tomorrow would have been the c-section and if he would come back, he should have been here by now. The third, and the most crazy, was that he never left. I was the only one that thought that could be true. His cell phone was here, no one had seen him leave, while at least ten people must have been in the lobby that day in the half hour Kendall was gone. All his clothes were still here, his wallet was on the counter in 1D, there were no plane tickets on his name and he didn't use a credit card. You couldn't survive that long without money or clothes without any help from another person. Especially not a very pregnant guy in a city like LA.

"James?" I looked down, right in Carlos' tears filled eyes. It broke my heart to see him so sad. Normally he just slept deeply, spread out over his side of our bed, but ever since Logan disappeared he was extremely clingy, like he was scared I would leave too. That we got separated too.

"Yes?" I answered my fiancée. It was so weird. Turns out Kendall and I had asked Logan and Carlos to marry us at the same day. When I thought of it later, it wasn't even so odd. All our life we'd done everything I could think of together. So it shouldn't be much different for engagement and marriage. As long as we wouldn't marry on the same day, that was a little too far for me.

"He'll come back, right?" He whispered miserably. We both flinched when Kendall screamed again.

"I hope so, baby, but you know what I think of it" I leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"I know, but I just don't want to believe something happened to him. I mean, Kendall is already depressed… I'm scared for tomorrow, James" He admitted quietly.

Tomorrow. That would be the day he would have become father. The day his baby would have been born… We had no idea what was going to happen with the little Knight. Was the baby born already? Had Logan found another hospital? Another doctor? Or was he still carrying the baby? Waiting until the ninth month would be over and he would go into labor like every normal pregnant woman?

I was scared for tomorrow as well. I was already planning on tying Kendall to a chair, all dangerous object out of his reach. I was deadly afraid he would do something to himself tomorrow. I've been scared of that the whole two weeks, but tomorrow I would watch him like hawk. I didn't want to lose another friend and Logan might need him once we found him. If we ever found him. "We'll have to keep an eye on him, Carlitos. I think it might be necessary"

He nodded and bit his lip. More tears ran out of his eyes on his cheeks, I stroked them away with my thumb and held my hand there, caressing his face.

"LOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! COME BACK! I LOVE YOU, NEED YOU! LOGAN!"

This is so depressing… What'cha think?