I only own my character. Anything you recognize is not mine. Just saying.
This mornings wake up was not as funny as yesterdays. I wake up to a squeak sound and then an awful stench. I wake up just in time to see someone's clothed butt hovering over my face. I shriek as I sit up.
Fili and Kili fall over from laughing so hard.
"That is so vile and disgusting!" I yell as I stand and wave around me. I feel like I have fart nastiness on me and want to wave it off. Ew!
"That is payback for yesterday." Kili manages to tell me. I can see by their pants that Kili was also the one to fart on me.
"That is how you get payback on a lady?" My face is filled with anger. They stop laughing immediately and stand with frowns on their face.
"We're sorry Miss Luna." Fili is the first to apologize. I stop him with my hand in his face. He is silent. I glare at Kili who has the decency to look like he is sorry.
"I'm sorry Miss Luna. I thought that it would be funny." He apologizes solemnly.
"You thought putting your butt inches from my face and letting that come out would be funny?!" By this time Thorin and Balin are watching with interest. They both nod.
"Well I have to agree I am sure my reaction was quite funny." I giggle. The boys both stare in shock.
"You aren't mad?" Fili asks. I shake my head.
"It was gross but what did I do? What did my face look like?" I ask between giggles. They both smile and laugh too.
"You should have seen your face!" Kili joins in. He makes this horrid look cross his face. The three of us fall into hysterics.
"That is not how you wake a lady." Balin throws out to us. We all look at him then to Thorin and then back to Balin.
"Well, but! You know what she did to us yesterday!" Kili cries out at Balin. Balin nods.
"That does not make it right." He says.
"What happened yesterday?" Thorin asks and all three of us blanch. Nobody speaks.
"Well?" He asks as he walks right up to us.
"We…"
"Well…"
"I may have done something a bit inappropriate for a lady." I take the blame. Both boys whip their heads around to look at me. Surprise. They thought I wouldn't take the blame. Jeez… Thorin just eyes me before motioning for me to continue.
"They were making these obnoxious kissing noises near me. I knew it was them so I pretended to be asleep and started…" I cough to clear my throat and try to stall to gain some confidence "and I started moaning their names like I was dreaming about them." I finish. I have never seen Thorin so angry. I swear I thought he might actually slap me.
"Go to the ponies." He grinds out to Fili and Kili.
"Uncle it was-" Fili tries to help but is silenced by a look from said uncle. Fili gives me an apologetic look before walking to the ponies. Thorin, meanwhile, grabs my arm and near drags me away from the group.
"What did I tell you about staying about from them? Yet you lead them on with moaning their names. I saw them with their arms around you yesterday, as well." He is so angry. I didn't mean for this to happen.
"I'm sorry. I-" He cuts off my stammering.
"You will stay away from them. You will only talk to Bofur for food and you will stay away from my nephews. You are not to talk to them. You are not to look to them. Am I clear?" He seethes. He must not take my shocked silence as agreement because he grabs my arm again and adds a bit of pressure. Not enough to hurt.
"Do you understand me?" He demands an answer. I just nod. He releases my arm.
"You ride with me now." Is all he says and I stare in shock as he walks away.
It takes everyone by surprise when I am seen getting on Thorin's pony instead of Balin's. Thorin gets on behind me and wraps his arms around me to hold me in place while also holding the reins. This is not the fatherly feeling I get from Balin. This is a dominance thing. Feels more like him showing his control over everything. Damn. I screwed up bad.
Around noon food is passed around. I take my piece of jerky from Thorin and eat quietly.
At night Thorin never lets me out of his sights. Fuuuu…
I see Fili and Kili go off to gather wood but we don't make eye contact. Seems they are aware of how Thorin feels.
"Miss Luna, a word." Thorin calls me back to him.
"Yes?" I ask as I stand before him.
"When do we come upon this lone house and cave of treasure? How much longer?" He asks. At least he doesn't seem as mad as yesterday.
"My timing seems to be off. It will be closer to the mountains." I point to said mountains a ways away in the distance. He nods but says nothing.
I turn to go back to the fire, to warm up a bit, but am stopped by him calling out my name. I look at him.
"I apologize for my reaction yesterday. It was not right for me to put my hands on you in such a manner." He apologized. Huh.
"I… thank you." I say. His apology surprises me. I didn't think he would be much the type.
"No. It was not right. A dwarf man knows not to treat a lady as such. Truly, I want your words of forgiveness." He says as he takes a step towards me.
"I forgive you." I say with a tiny smile. "But if we are being real, I am not a lady." I say and he frowns.
"Who told you such things?" He asks with his brow creased.
"What? Nobody told me that. I know I am not." At his disbelieving stare I continue.
"I faked having sex dreams about your nephews and moaned their names. No lady does that. I laughed at them farting in my face. No lady does that. So yes, I may be female, but I am no lady." I explain. A look of realization comes over his face.
"Well then no woman, lady or otherwise, should be handled the way I did with you yesterday. I apologize." He says again.
"I accept your apology and forgive you. Now come on, lets eat!" I say with a smile as I grab his hand and pull him towards the food being passed out. Bread and jerky. Yum…
We end up eating next to each other.
"Oh! I want to thank you for letting me use your bedroll." I thank him suddenly. Apparently I startled him with my sudden appreciation.
"You are welcome." He tells me.
"Will we be stopping in a town soon? I know I have no money but after going through the cave I might have some to pay you, or anyone else who is willing to buy me a roll, back." I state.
"Tomorrow or the day after at the latest we will go to town. For now you can use mine." He says.
"Absolutely not. I refuse." I tell him firmly. He glares at me.
"Why not?" He asks.
"Because you are a king. I will not take a bedroll from a king." I try to make him see sense.
"Then as king I command you to take it." He fires back with a smirk. I smirk back.
"You aren't my king. I don't need to take commands from you." I throw back at him. He growls low in his throat.
"Then take it because I am a man and want my woman to sleep comfortably." We both just stare at each other over his slip of the tongue.
"Woman in my company. Not my woman." He clears up very quickly and I smile at him.
"You mean you don't want all of this?" I motion crazily to all of me and he turns his face away from me. I just chuckle.
"I am kidding. But seriously, a couple more days on the ground won't kill me." I tell him. He looks back at me.
"Will you not just listen to me, woman?" He huffs out in annoyance.
"Not about that." I smile cheekily at him and take a bite of bread. He rolls his eyes.
"Rolling your eyes? That doesn't seem like something a king would do." I tease.
"I am a king. Everything I do a king would do." He jests and I just gape at him. He laughs at my reaction. Laughs!
"You have a smart mouth, king." I jest back and join in his merriment.
After food and our talks I go over to a spot and fall asleep. Happy to be on good terms with the king again.