i'm afraid this chapter was a little rushed, and may seem weird...but i'm tired of trying to find ways to get to this point...so here it comes! i didn't know how to convey what i needed to, without using two people's POVs, so i'm afraid this one's got two. SORRY for any inconviences.

Isabellthelooser

Harsh Love

Quil Jr.

Dude, why is Paul crying? He never cries!

I crept ever-so-closer and peeked down at him. Yep! Definitely sobbing his little heart out! But why? Did his girlfriends dump him?

Then I saw it all through Jacob's mind. Paul kissing Bella, stroking her cheek, giving her his jacket; then her pulling away, angry, frightened, begging to leave. Then I understood. That's why Paul's sitting here, balling silently, crouched on a wet blanket on the beach, his head in his hands; his clothes smelling of Bella.

A broken heart. Wow. I can't imagine that. Losing Claire. Harsh.

Love sucks, dude, I thought-said to Jacob, But we love love anyway, don't we?

Fixed Passion

Paul

God, what did I ever do to deserve this? I lay sprawled on my bed, my shirt off, trying to ease the throb of my broken heart. Nothing works though. Cause every time my lips brush together I think of me kissing Bella yesterday; every time I clench my pillow into my fist I think of how my hand cupped her face; all the time her face is engraved into my eyes, that look of pain and fear in her eyes, the way her body shook even with my jacket on, how she pulled away and begged to leave; how she left with Jacob.

"God. Get out of there!" My fist pounds relentlessly into my skull, trying to force the memories away; but they drift back, silent, slow, and deadly. "Ugh!" I rub my temples, trying to fight the throb of my skull now.

Surely the whole neighborhood hears me thundering down the stairs in search of Advil. Pots and pans clank together; a loaf of bread ends up flattened under my foot; and still, no Advil, and my head is pounding.

Then I find it, hidden behind a jar of Boysenberry jam. I dump two into my palm, then freeze; reading the back of the bottle. Do NOT take more than two doses in less than twenty-four hours. Without thinking I dump six more pills out and fill a glass with water.

Surely this is the best way to die; painless, and while no one cares whether you live or die. I swish a mouthful of water around in my mouth. Bella's voice pops into my head. "You, like Jacob, have no regard for my feelings." I shudder. How can she think that? After I gave her my jacket, kissed her; loved her! To compare me to Jacob too! Ugh!

Eyeing my suicide pills, I cock my head, ready to toss them in there and let the drugs do their work. Then there comes a knock at the door. I sigh and glare at the entrance way; begging God to make the person on the other side just poof away.

I throw two pills in and swallow them, then ready the next four.

Knock, knock, knock.

I swish more water in my mouth, drawing up my hand to throw them in…

"Paul?" comes a soft, familiar voice from behind the door, "Paul? Are you in here? Jacob said you haven't left since yesterday." Silence. "Paul? Can I come in?"

My feet fly like my heart as I twist the deadbolt and fling open the door. And there she is, the embodiment of beauty. "Bella? What do you want?"

Her gaze flicks up to mine. She smiles and holds out a folded bit of black fabric with one hand; the other holds her body erect by way of crutches. "Your jacket," she mutters. "I forgot to give it back to you yesterday." She blushes and brushes her hair behind one ear after I take my coat back. "So…" she mutters, "Can I come in for a second? There's…something I need to ask you."

"Umm…" I glance around the room, doing a quick check to make sure everything is in perfect order. "Yeah, come in. Sure. You need some help?"

"I got it." She wobbles over the threshold on her crutches, leaving behind a trail of clicky-noises. "Umm…can we sit somewhere…this might take a while."

"Yeah, sure, umm…the living room's this way." I lead her left through a narrow hallway, and help her get situated on one of my mom's old love seats. "So...you wanted to talk?"

"Yes," she says, taking a deep breath.

I fold my hands in front of me. "About?" I press.

She takes another deep breath then looks up at me with those irresistible brown eyes. "You kissed me yesterday. And I want to know…why you did…" her eyes become pained and sad, "Was it a dare, or were you delusional…" she breaths deeply and glances up at me from her hands, "…or do you…do you…"

I lean forward, curious. "Do I what?"

Her hands clasp into tiny fists, her heart hammering away. She blushes pink. "Or do you love me?"

I look down, unable to meet her gaze any longer. I swallow and fight back my own blush. "I definitely wasn't hallucinating when I kissed you, Bella. And I don't believe in dares." I take a deep breath, and meet her gaze. "I love you, Bella. Actually more than I can stand right now, to be truly honest." My voice bridges on hysteria on the end.

She watches me for the longest moment; measuring my honesty, I guess, and scrutinizing every aspect of my blush. Just as I'm about to flee the room in embarrassment, she sighs. "Well, I guess that's it then."

She stands, wobbles for a moment, and then slowly makes her way around the coffee table to the chair where I sit. As she grows closer she keeps her eyes forever downcast. Then, two feet away from me, she places her crutches against the wall and takes a wobbly step towards me.

On instinct my arms outstretch to break her fall, and she tumbles right into my arms; right into my lap. As I strain to make out her expression; to apologize, she reaches out with one hand and gently places her fingertips on my face. Her eyes convey every ounce of fear she feels, her body shaking against me, her voice quavering as she speaks the words that free me from my living hell.

"I love you too."

And we're kissing again, like before, but this time she's kissing me back. The feel of her lips moving on mine is amazing; like nothing I've ever experienced, like we're two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together.

In a whoosh of air, my lips shift to provide us both with oxygen, while my hands move to her face too; my fingers twisting into her hair. Our bodies press together, and then…she pushes against my chest, her lips sobered and barely moving. She moans and pushes harder when I refuse to let go of her.

She pulls her face back, breathless and wary. "Please Paul, let go. Please," she pants. "I just--need a--break."

Obediently, not wanting to push her, I unwind my hands from her face; shifting back into my chair as she grabs for her crutches.

There comes a knock at the door. "Bella?" a man's voice calls. I easily detect the speaker.

"Charlie's here? Why?!"

She smiles and places each crutch under her armpit. "You don't think I'd drive myself here, do you?" she gestures at her plastered legs. "Besides, he wanted to visit Billy Black on the way home."

I nod, but remain speechless. My breath's still coming in gasps.

She heads for the door, "Good-bye, Paul."

"Wait!" I call, lunging from my seat to place my hand over hers on the crutch. "When will I see you again?"

She smiles and laughs softly. "I'm going to be staying up late tonight. Leg pains, you know." she pats her bum leg. "You could stop by. Be all Incognito again."

I smile back at her and step back, "Alright. Bye, Bella."

She smiles again and opens the door, slipping out into the afternoon sun and closing the door. My heart pounds once she leaves my house. She said 'I love you too', to me!

good? bad? way too out of character? let me know what you think. i'm not much fond of this chap myself...but youknow, not all writing can be a great work of art! even S.M. has her bad chapters and moments...so why can't i have mine?

i'm getting better at dialogue, as i mentioned in the last chapter. it was actually very hard for me and it took about the whole day to write cause i knew what i wanted to say...and usually i end up just having them say yes, no, i don't want to go there, fine. but i really tried to make it flow and sound kinda...conversationy. and i think it worked, for the most part. what do you guys think? TELL ME!! R&R!!

Cudos to all, Isabellthelooser