11.
Last time at the Total Drama House, The teams went to an abandoned wearhouse and tested their courage while anvils hung by strands above their heads. Some chickened out fast, others lasted longer, others were tricked out of a victory by their... as rumor has it, ex-boyfriend. Duncan tricked Courtney and won the game for the Lodgers, which angered Courtney... wow, something angered Courtney, anyway, the Squatters returned to the fire pit and sent home one of the Dead-behind-the-Eyes Duo: Sadie. Will Courtney stay broken up with Duncan? Will the Squatters continue to suck? Will our ratings keep going up? Find out today at the Total. DRAMA. HHHHOOOUUUUSSSSSEEEE!!!!
TDH
"Good morning girls!" Chris said walking down the hallway of the top level of the House, "Are you ready to eat breakfast?"
"I am so ready to eat," Bridgette said walking out of her room.
Okay, so I may or may not eat my feelings.
"Well, then aren't you going to be pissed?" Chris laughed, "For some reason this year a few challenges start with us starving you, but don't worry everyone get's fed later today, just make your way downstairs."
TDH
The girls and Chris walked into the living room, to find it empty.
"Where are the-" Heather began to ask.
"THE MADNESS!!! THE MADNESS!!!" Harold ran out of the basement, green splatters on his pajamas, soon the other guys came running out, being chased by green paintballs, being shot by Chef.
"You read the Bible. Geoff?" Chef laughed as he shot at Geoff, "Because there's this little passage I've got memorized, sort of... oh, hey Chris."
"Chef, what did I tell you about... never mind," Chris motioned for the students to follow him as the party moved down the hall, Chris explained the challenge, "A vital cog in the watch that is a house is cleaning, primarily in the spring-"
"But it's summer," Heather snorted.
"Irrelevant, remember, I am a wizard in the magic of television!"
Okay, I was told I have to do a disclaimer: This show in no way endorses the black arts or the occult, the "magic of television" is a metaphor, so parents groups STAY OFF OUR BACKS!!! Thank you.
"And, due to my wizardry We can magic it to spring! Or, to save money we'll just pretend," Chris stopped outside of two rooms right next to each other, "These rooms behind me are full of various gross messes and mayhem you have to clean. There's broken furniture, dirty laundry, a bunch of stuff, team with the cleanest room when I return... well, you know the drill."
At home, I have a maid, I 've never cleaned my own room, why would I clean some one else's? And I don't have anyone I can trick into doing it for me... Wait, yes I do.
Chris opened the doors and ushered the Squatters into the right room, the Lodgers into the left, "I'll be back in an couple hours, me and Chef have a spa man-date time to go get my mud bath on!"
TDH
"Hey, Geoff," Heather said putting her hands on Geoff's shoulders, massaging a little, "How are you doing?"
"Um, fine, Heather," Geoff looked over at a pile of what Geoff assumed was green chili, "I'm not totally upset with your advances, but... we have a challenge."
"Yeah," Heather said walking over to a large stain on the floor, "It will be a challenge to focus on something other than you."
Piece of Cake.
Um... so there's this Lonely Island song... sort of fits the occasion.
TDH
"You're kidding me!" Courtney said stepping away from the pile of green jelly on the floor infront of her.
"Wait..." Gwen said looking down at a weird pile of worms, "What's that they're..."
"Alright," Leshawna said pulling Gwen away from the pile, "We need to start right away, how about we divide into a few teams and tackle the various jobs."
"I'll supervise." Noah said leaning up against the wall, "You start the work and I'll be here."
"That's funny," Courtney said grabbing Noah's hand, they both stopped and stared at each other for a minute before Courtney swung Noah away from the wall.
TDH
"So, uh, Heather," Geoff said walking up to her, "I was thinking maybe I could help you clean, you know, work side by side?"
"I'd prefer front to front."
"Ooooh," Geoff started to shake a little, "Would you now?"
"Uh-huh."
"Yo, Geoff," Duncan and DJ walked over, "What's witht he no working?"
"Dude, can't you see I'm seducing?"
"No," Cody smirked, "Duncan can't see stuff like that, that's why he hasn't realized that Noah's seducing Courtney... wait, I wasn't supposed to tell Duncan that."
"What the %#$ did you just say?"
"I said that... um... OH MY GOODNESS! IS THAT EMILIE-CLAIRE BARLOW?!?!"
"Nice try, $$ wipe." Duncan said grabbing Cody and holding him up against the wall.
"Guys, stop your fighting!" Ezekiel yelled, "We have already wasted valuable time, put down your swords and pick up feather dusters! We're going to get our clean on!"
TDH
"Done!" Lindsey exclaimed as she took the last bag of garbage out of the room.
"Wow, we can actually work well together," Gwen said.
"You know it, girl."
"We've so got this in the bag," Courtney said smiling at Noah.
TDH
"SSSSSPPPPPIIIIDDDDERRRR!!!!" DJ shrieked and dropped the desk he and Duncan were moving, causing it to break again.
"That's not a spider," Duncan reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of a tarantula, which sent DJ into a crying fit, "THAT'S a spider."
"I'm getting out!" DJ ran out, "This is a mad house! A MAD HOUSE!!!"
"I don't think he's coming back, bro." Geoff said.
"And I can't move this desk alone!"
"I'll help!" Cody said walking over.
"No way," Duncan said, "You just dropped a bombshell and a half on me, stay away for your own safety."
"I'm small, but I'm wiry, I can handle myself," Cody said gently punching Duncan's shoulder. Duncan looked down and then punched Cody in the face, knocking him to the floor.
"You all saw it, he attacked me... it was... self defense."
TDH
"Time's up!" Chris yelled from the hallway and the two teams left their rooms, "Lodgers, did you lose this?" DJ stood next to Chef, "Alright, I'll go into each room and judge it, starting with the two time loser Squatters." Chris walked over and into their room.
"And the Squatters win the challenge!"
"But you didn't even look in our room!" Heather yelled.
"Yeah, what she said." Geoff said, "Oh hey Bridge, you may have met my new girlfriend... Heather."
"Don't push it Party Boy," Heather said.
"Yes, Ma'am."
"I'm the host, and you guys can't have done a better job than they did. I mean, they even changed the garbages and put in stress relief candles."
"Where did they get stress relief candles?"
"Doesn't matter," Chris said, "What does matter is that the Lodgers are making their first trip to the elimination pit, and the Squatters have all earned get out of the house passes to be used tonight for a night on the town. Squatters, enjoy your night, Lodgers, I'll see you soon."
TDH
"Lodgers, it was bound to happen, you couldn't keep ducking fate. Here you are and you have to send someone home. There are 8 keys and 9 players. The keys go to Cody, Heather, Geoff, Bridgette, Trent, Ezekiel, and Harold. One more key, and DJ and Duncan, two of the games favorite players. Duncan... you were lucky last year going to the finals, and you got lucky early this season when you tricked Courtney, and your luck continues, DJ, you're out."
DJ got up and hugged some of the guys and made it to the gate before he began crying.
The Lodgers lose their first battle and DJ is their first casualty. Who will win next week? What's with all the love triangles? Where DID the Squatters find those stress relief candles? Find out next time at the Total. DRAMA. HHHHHOOOOOUUUUSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!