The whole town gathers in front of the church, soaking up the sun rays that finally decide to make an appearance after the storm. A tree has fallen on to the road, during the night, and Wade notices signs of broken glass on the floor as he makes his way towards the crowd.
It's 9:30 am, and he hasn't been able to sleep for more than 24 hours, now. How was he supposed to sleep, really? Zoe Hart had been next to him, her body pressed against his, her head resting against his chest. How was he supposed to sleep after she opened up to him, telling him how unsure she was of being in love with George? More importantly, how was he supposed to sleep when, moments earlier, she had attempted to kiss him?
"Wade." He hears Lavon call as he reaches the top of the church's steps. "How about picking up the phone, man? I was damn worried about you two." He looks for the presence of a tiny brunette behind the bartender and frowns when he doesn't see her. "Where's Big Z?"
"Sleeping." Wade answers. "And sorry about the calls, I had it on silent. Didn't want to wake her up."
Lavon furrows for a moment, and then a smile slowly makes its way to his lips as he lands a hand on top of his friend's shoulder. "I see. This 'fake relationship' thing is finally paying off, huh?"
"If by paying off you mean spending the night at the carriage house and staring at the ceiling while the Doc snores and drools, then yeah, it's paying off real good, man." He pats him on the back and walks away, getting inside the church for the town meeting.
He knows he's underestimating what had happened the night before. He hadn't watched her snore or drool; he hadn't even looked at her, afraid she would wake up and leave his embrace, allowing space between their bodies.
The whole town reunites inside the church and Wade finds a place in the back, where he hopes to be able to stay away from prying eyes and annoying questions about Zoe. He groans in silent when George walks past him with Lemon hanging around his neck like a limpet. He still likes to think of Tucker as a friend; they used to get together all the time, playing pranks on people, sneaking into Mr. Parker's pool whenever the heat wave hit town. Then Lemon showed up and, much to Wade's surprise, instead of wanting George all to herself, she joined them in their pranks, getting cows inside teachers' offices and distracting Frank while him and George stole beer from the Dixie Stop. They had been best friends and they had made silent promises that they would stay like that for a long time. But then, his mother died, his brother left, his father started drinking and Wade couldn't be a kid, anymore. He had been forced to grow up and, in the process, lose all the friends he ever had. It was his fault, he knew that.
"As we all know, our town was hit by another storm, last night." Lavon starts to speak once everyone is seated. "And the Sweetie Pie dance night of all nights. Now, the good news are that there aren't too many damages, this time; nobody's hurt and that's what matters here. But there is a lot to clean up and everyone's help is needed."
The loud creak of the church's door stops Lavon on his speech and everyone turns around to see the person who had decided to join them for the town meeting. Zoe Hart stood there, in her high heels and dress, studying her surroundings. Her eyes lock with George's and she's quick to avoid them as she remembers that nearly the entire town is watching her. Feeling pressured by contemptuous glares and murmurs, she finally clears her throat and speaks.
"I see you still haven't bought that WT-40, huh?" She laughs, feeling uncomfortable as no one reacts expect for Wade who smacks his hand against his forehead. "I'm sorry. I'm just gonna sit down, now. Proceed."
Wade watches her as she practically races towards him and sits down, her heels echoing in the church. "Doc, what are you doing here?" He asks.
"What? Is this seat taken?" She's standing up now, drawing attention to her one more time. Lavon clears his throat, frustrated.
The bartender shakes his head and grabs her arm, urging her to sit down. "Sit down." He whispers, embittered.
"Well, make up your mind."
"I meant, what are you doing here in the church?" He explains, after a deep breath and a pause.
Zoe frowns at him, "It's a town meeting, Wade."
"And how exactly does that explain anything?"
"I've told you a million times that if I want to get patients, I need to be a part of this town and that means going to town meetings." She sighs, trying to pay attention to what Lavon was saying but not being able to concentrate. She gives up when Dash Dewitt interrupts the mayor for the fifth time in less than two minutes. "You're one to talk, what are you doing here? I thought you didn't go to church."
Wade shrugs, "Didn't have anything better to do."
She furrows her brow, wringing her hands together out of nervous habit. 'Why did you leave, then?', she wanted to ask. But she knew she didn't have the right to. He didn't have to comfort her as the storm grew stronger. He didn't have to hold her while she rested her face on top of his chest, pretending to be asleep. He didn't have to stay; but she wishes he had.
Because she feels safe when he's around. Not the kind of safe she feels with George; no, it's a different kind of safe. Like her entire world could be falling apart and she would run to him, because he keeps her walls up. Like he's not exactly her friend, but he challenges her, drives her insane and out of her comfort zone which is a surprisingly secure place to be when he's around. And he knows her like nobody else does, even though he pretends he doesn't.
Waking up to an empty bed that morning, like so many others, had made her heart ache a little. The smell of him, still engraved on her sheets, was the only proof that he had in fact been there. Holding her.
"Hey, Doc." She jumps, startled by his voice. "Nice job on trying to be a part of this town when you can't even pay attention to the town meeting."
"Shut up." Zoe mutters, cheeks heating in the process, a reaction she usually has around Wade even though she tries to deny it. Lately, it's been quite frequent, actually.
He shakes his head, a smile creeping to his lips. "How did you sleep last night?" His eyebrows raise, feigning innocence, when her narrowed eyes meet his.
She carefully studies her words before answering. If she gives away too much, if she tells him the entire truth – like how hearing to his heartbeat had made her feel at ease and how she slept like a baby through the entire night because he was holding her and that meant nothing bad was going to happen to her – then, he'll show her that smug smirk (that she has grown to love, but whatever).
"Fine," she says, simply.
"So, the insomnias are over, huh?" He asks, a smirk slowly making its way to his lips.
"Pretty much."
"Just like that? Just," he shrugs, "…stopped?"
She turns to look at him, raising her eyebrows. "Where are you going with this, Wade? Do you want me to tell that my insomnias stopped because of you? Because you spent the night? 'Cause that's ridiculous."
They hear a 'shush'. Shula Withaker is a couple of seats in front of them, her index finger resting in front of her mouth, urging them to be quiet. After shaking her head at the 'couple' she turns around again, paying attention to the mayor – who was now desperately trying to convince Dash that the storm hadn't been his fault.
"All I'm saying is," he starts, whispering, "if you ever need me to stay over, I won't oppose. We might not do a lot of sleeping, but…"
He winks, his grin almost splitting is face in half.
She doesn't answer. Which is surprising because Zoe Hart never keeps quiet after an advance on her annoying neighbor's behalf. This time, though, she lets her eyes study the inside of the church – she suspects that is the first time she has ever been inside it - while the heat in her cheeks increases. She chooses to ignore him; not because she wanted to, but because she didn't know how to answer that, anymore. She's afraid she might say yes, one of these days.
Wade turns away, shifting in the seat, but he shifts too much and his leg presses against Zoe's. She's wearing a short-sleeved dress and her legs are bare, and it's nerve-wracking. Because all he can think about when he looks at her is how beautiful she is and how much he would like to be able to kiss her lips when no one's around, and those thoughts scare the crap out of him because, well, because Wade Kinsella is not that kind of guy. He doesn't think about girls that way; after all, it doesn't matter how beautiful they are or how much he wants to kiss them after he drinks his sorrows away. At some point, they're all beautiful and kissable. They all morph into Zoe Hart.
He clears his throat, picking at a thread on the knee of his jeans. "So… did you ever talk with Tucker about that, hum, thing?"
Zoe meets his eyes, dropping them as soon as she assimilates his question. "I didn't. And I'm not going to."
"You realize he's probably gonna want to talk to you, right?" He shakes his head when her eyes show him a hint of fear.
"Maybe he forgot about it." She suggests, shrugging.
Wade snorts a laugh, "Yeah, right. I'd make myself busy if I were you, Doc. Tucker's gonna be after you, all day."
Zoe chewed on her lip, her face turning red as she remember her little outburst. There was no way she would be able to face George now. Not after telling him, an engaged man, that she had feelings for him. Just to make things worse, she was free for the day – well, actually, for the rest of the week – because her only patients were Crazy Earl and Shula Whitaker, from time to time.
"Wait a minute." She practically yells, earning at least three 'shushes'. Wade included. "Sorry. But hey, I was thinking—"
"Uh-oh."
She rolls her eyes, "Just hear me out. You're my boyfriend, right?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"Shut up. Well, I was thinking that we could spend the entire day together. Wouldn't that be fun?" She shows him a big smile when he frowns. "Besides - and this was totally not planned, by the way - if I'm with you, George won't bother me."
It's tempting. Even if it's just another one of her schemes. "Doc, I have work."
"C'mon, Wade. When was the last time you took a day off?" She asks, dropping a hand on top of his knee. "I'm sure Carl won't mind and Shelley can cover up for you. You practically own the place, you do all the work – a great work, at that – and although I'm sure everyone's gonna miss you at the Rammer Jammer, you really need to rest."
He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. "Alright, fine. You can stop harassing me. But am I not going shoe shopping with you in Mobile. I'd rather die."
"Alright, drama queen. We'll stay at the carriage house." She purses her lips and lets her hand crawl off his leg. "And thanks, Wade. Really.
He shrugs, facing her, crooked grin on his lips. "Anything for my girl, right?"
Her cheeks flushed a deep crimson as a slow smile slipped across her lips.
His girl.
She didn't know why that sounded so good.
…
"So technically," she says after rambling about Carrie Bradshaw's love triangle for five minutes, "Aidan was the perfect guy for her. He was sensitive and romantic and understanding and, even though he didn't have to forgive Carrie for cheating on him, he did because he's a really good guy. He matches the picture that nearly every girl in the world have in their heads because all of us want to end up with someone like him. Plus, he builds his own furniture. But," she pauses, sticking one finger in the air, "Mr. Big. He challenges her. He's teasing and kind of frustrating, but in the good way, and he drives her crazy because he never really lets her in. He's mysterious and infuriating and, well, stupid and he's so not the right guy for her. But maybe she's not supposed to be with the right guy; maybe she's destined to pick the wrong guy. My point is, Aidan might be the perfect guy in theory, but in practice, Mr. Big's the right kind of wrong."
After making sure nothing was left to stay, she turns to look at Wade, sitting beside her on the couch. His hand is covering his face and he looks like he's smelled something bad. After a moment of silence, he slowly looks at her and sighs when he realizes she really is finished.
"Did you even listen to everything I just said?" Zoe asks, an annoyed edge on her voice.
Wade whips his head around, eyebrows raised. "Look, Doc, I've been sitting here for two hours straight watching Sex & the City with you without complaining because, to be honest, it was the easiest thing you've asked me to do in these three months. But I did not sign up for a half an hour debate about who Carlie-something should end up with. I'm a guy. Guys don't watch Sex & the City with a girl unless they're planning on getting some. Clearly, the only thing I'm getting out of this is knowledge about stuff I should have never known about in the first place so, if you excuse me, I think I'm going back to work."
"No!" She yells when he stands up and follows him to the hall. "Please, you can't leave. I'll stop talking about Carrie and her boyfriends. I'll even stop talking all together if that's what you want. But, please, you can't leave me alone."
Wade purses his lips after another sigh escaping them. "You can't keep running from Golden Boy forever."
Zoe frowns at his words because she knows he's right and he's been right too many times, lately.
"I know. And I'm not going to. I just need some time to clear my head and I can't do that if he comes asking for an explanation."
"That's the least you can do after telling a guy you have feelings for him. Especially when the guy you decided to pour your heart out to is engaged to Lemon Breeland."
She rolls her eyes and turns away from him. "Thanks for making me feel better, Wade."
"Just keeping it real for you, Doc." He sits down next to her on the couch. "But what exactly do you need to figure out? You've said it yourself: you have feelings for him." His heart aches a little as the words escape his mouth but he tries to ignore it. He's been doing that for a while, now.
"Yeah, well, what if I don't? What if this is just a big fantasy I'm making up in my head just to make myself feel better?" She looks at Wade then, noticing how he looks at her with his eyebrows raised and mouth open. "Wade, what if he's Aidan?"
She's met with silence. Wade's still looking at her, his eyes stuck in hers, suddenly not knowing what to do or what to say. His hand scratches his neck in a nervous habit and he's about to answer when she starts talking again.
"I mean, it makes sense doesn't it?" She's walking around her living room, now. "He's sensitive and romantic and pretty much what every girl wants. I sure as hell wanted him. What if I loved the idea of having someone like him instead of loving him? What if I made the biggest mistake of my life when I practically told him I had feelings for him?"
"Uh—"
"What if I'm supposed to be with Mr. Big?" She asks, noticing how Wade has that look on his face when he doesn't know what the hell is going on. "Maybe I need to be with the wrong person. The person who challenges me and…" Her eyes widen and she glares at Wade again. He's frowning at the floor and he looks adorable, to say the least. "…drives me crazy."
His eyes finally meet hers and, for the first time ever, she's too lost for words. A part of her wished he hadn't realize what she'd just realized because, well, he's Wade. No matter how many moments she's shared with him, the one from the night before being on top of her list, she had never let herself think of Wade in that way or believe that maybe, deep down, Wade felt something – anything – for her. Because it was worthless. What future could she have with Wade? He was so… Wade. Even if there was a chance, a small, small chance, that he could be her Mr. Big. South edition.
"Yeah, Doc. I didn't really understand what you just said there but," he clears his throat, "if you don't have feelings for Tucker, maybe you should come clean." She nods, slowly, trying her best not to make eye contact. "I never really thought you did, anyway."
She sits down again and stares at the wall. "Yeah. You've told me that."
"Yeah."
An uncomfortable silence settled between them and Wade ran a hand through his hair. One of this arms is draped over the back of the couch so he's mostly facing her, and Zoe is suddenly very aware of the fact that their legs are touching.
Wade has done a lot of things for Zoe; some of them he can't even begin to explain how or where he found the strength inside him to say yes to or perform her - oh, so many - favors. Being her fake boyfriend turned how to be harder than what he thought it would be, but kissing her whenever they're in public really pays off. More than she thinks. Taking her drunken body home, even if she does look kind of adorable when she's drunk, was something he ended up doing without signing up for. Gazing at the stars with her and showing her the good side of Bluebell was enough for her to show him that smile he's grown so fond of so he can't really complain. Having dinner with her mother, though. Ugh, her mother. That had to be the worst part of 'dating' Zoe Hart. Even if she did clean up his house and was still on her last week of doing his laundry, as a payment, that dinner had been one of the worst dinners of his life. But on the bright side, his clothes have never smelled better.
Wade clears his throat, deciding to break the awkward silence. "So, um, have you talked to your mother?"
"No," she says simply.
"Why not?"
She shrugs, "I told her that I didn't want anything to do with her. I guess the fact that she's the only family I've got left isn't stopping her of grating my wishes. Some mother, huh?"
"You have Harley."
"Harley's dead, Wade." You'd think that after almost two years after his death, Wade wouldn't feel that sharp pain in his chest every time those words were said. But the pain was still there. Maybe it never went away.
"Yeah, but you're his daughter. That's like being part of royalty in Bluebell." Zoe furrows her brows, a sarcastic smile on her lips. "I know, I know. People haven't been very friendly to you. But that's because they don't know you. Harley might be gone but there's still a lot of him in Bluebell. Everybody loved him. There's not a single person in the world with anything bad to say about him. He's part of Bluebell and you're part of him." A small smile makes its way to his lips. "He's always here."
"Did you get to know him well?" She asks, her voice quizzical.
"I did. He was a great man. The best one I knew." When he turns to look at her, there's tears in her eyes and he curses himself for talking about Harley. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"
Zoe shakes her head, "No. I like it when you talk about him. Nobody does. I feel like I don't know anything about him. What was he like?"
Wade heaves a sigh, a small smile on his lips. "He was such a funny man. Always looking on the bright side of life; always so passionate about his job and his family. He was also a ladies man." Zoe laughs out loud and Wade follows her suit. "He taught me everything I know. When my momma died, he took me in, treated me like a son when my dad was too drunk to notice I existed. I lost count of how many times I had to crash at his place because I didn't go home to Earl. He taught me how to fish, helped me with school, found me a job at the Rammer Jammer whipping down the floor, taught me how to pick up a girl." He winks and Zoe rolls her eyes, even though a smile grows on her lips. "A lot of what I am today is because of him."
It's only when he stops talking that he realizes her head is resting against his shoulder. "I would give anything for five minutes with him. Just five minutes to talk to him, find out if he loved me even if he never got to know me."
Wade clears his throat, the letter so carefully kept in the last drawer of his nightstand immediately surfacing in his mind. Harley had made him promise to only give her the letter when he was sure she was ready, no matter how powerful her persuading powers could be. But he also had told him to do whatever he thought was the right thing to do, whatever it took to make his daughter feel at home; he trusted him. And Wade knew he had done everything he could to make her feel welcome, if not by everyone, then by him.
He knew she was ready. But was he? Was he ready to let her know everything? Was he ready to let her find out about the lies? They were harmless lies, – he likes to call them omissions because she never really asked – but they were still lies. And if he knows her well enough, if there's one thing Zoe Hart can't forgive is lies, due to being raised in the middle of one.
But he decides on what's best for her. When hasn't he made a decision based on her well-being, anyway?
"Doc, I'll be right back."
He stands up, making her drop her head off his shoulder and leaves through the front door so quickly, she doesn't even have time to ask him where he's going. There's a moment where she thinks he's found a way to escape her and would probably be on his way to work, away from Sex & the City marathons and debates on Aidan vs. Mr. Big. But he comes back just as quickly as he leaves.
He heaves a breath before stretching his arm out to her, an envelope in his hand. She looks at the envelope for a moment and then back at him, eyebrows frowning.
"You said you wanted to know if he loved you. Your answer's in there." Then, he turns around and leaves and Zoe is left alone with the letter resting on top of her coffee table.
She looked at it for a moment, fear taking over her when she realized that her father, her real father, wrote her a letter. Her hands are trembling with anticipation when she finally picks up the letter. To Zoe, is written in a careful calligraphy on the front of the white envelope. She wonders for a moment, before opening the letter, how long had Wade been keeping it from her. She realizes it doesn't matter the moment she starts reading it, tears already in her eyes.
Dear Zoe,
If you are reading this letter it means I have passed away and, for that, I am deeply sorry. Nothing would have made be happier than watching you grew up to be the amazing woman I know you are.
I wish I could've been there every day, with you. I wish I could've taught you the ways of the world; I wish I could've been the one who picked up when you fell down. I wish I could've been the one to comfort you when all seemed lost and broken. I wish I could've been your father.
I regret the day I let your mother walk away from me, oblivious that you too walked out of my life forever.
Seventeen years ago, I received a call from your mother. The call that changed my entire life forever. You had fallen of the swings and you needed a blood transfusion and I was your match. It was hard to believe at first. I have always been a man focused on work; it was my refuge. Still is, to this day, even if my heart is starting to fail me. I never thought about having a family because I had everything I ever wanted. I had this lovely town where everyone knows everyone, forgives everyone, loves everyone. I had my brothers and nephews who were always there for me when I needed them. I had Jacqueline Kinsella, the best friend a man could ask for. I had Brick Breeland, who can be frustrating at first but when you get to know him, you understand everything he does is out of love. Even complaining.
I had it all. But I didn't have you. And my life lost all of its meaning when I saw you in that hospital bed, with your long brown hair and big brown eyes and couldn't hold you in my arms like a father's supposed to do when her daughter gets hurt.
I walked away from you, that day, because your mother thought it was the right thing to do. Ethan had been the man you had learned to call your father for ten years, the man that you loved even if he wasn't always there for you, the man you looked up to, the man you wanted to make proud, and I couldn't take that away from you. I'd rather have you not knowing about my existence than have you hating me. So, I walked away. Even if you hate me now for it. I am sorry.
Your mother sent me news from time to time. She felt like it was the least she could do to soften the pain of having to be away from you. I was so proud when I received a picture of you graduating from high school. I knew in that moment you had the most beautiful and bright future ahead of you. The sadness still came along – still does, everyday – but the joy of knowing you were growing up to be the amazing person I know you are today gently pushed aside the sadness.
Last year, I told Wade about you. He's a good boy. His mother Jacqueline, one of my best friends, passed away a while ago and I took care of him. I finally found out what is like to have a family of my own. He was the first and only person I told about you because I know I can trust him even though I have a feeling he's known for a while. He was about sixteen years old when he found your picture on my nightstand and I could see that it intrigued him even after I explained to him you were the daughter of a friend. That's Wade. He sees right through you.
I went to your college graduation a couple of months ago and I can't possibly express how proud of you I was that day. Nobody in the world has been capable of making me as happy as I was that day. I will never forget the moment I talked to you for the first, and probably last, time. To you, I was just an old man with a silly idea of having a young and talented woman like you work at a family clinic. But for me, for me that was the best moment of my entire life.
I've accepted that I am never going to see you again and I know this letter is probably never going to reach you. It's hard for me to stay positive when I know I have a short time to live but I am trying to. I hold on to you to keep me alive. I hold on to the hope of seeing you one last time. I hold on to you, Zoe. My daughter.
I'm not going to try and reach you anymore because I know you deserve more than the little time I have left to get to know your father. But if you ever do find your way to Bluebell, your home, I'll be waiting for you even if you can't see me. I'll be here, Zoe. Every day. Everywhere you go, I'll be with you. Always.
I made Wade promise to take care of you if you ever do come home. He still manages to keep some of my hopes up, saying that he will do everything he can to get you to come here. I hope he succeeds. That boy never gives up.
I will always be proud of you. I will always love you. You will always be my Zoe.
With love,
Your Dad
Zoe was crying her heart out by the time she finished reading the letter. She read it again and again and she found that it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. There would always be a huge gap in her life, no matter how long she lived.
Her father loved her. Her father was proud of her. She knows that now. And although there's a sharp pain in her chest for knowing she will never get her father back, there's a feeling very similar to happiness in her heart. Because she knows, now.
And Wade has known all along.
She's at his door in less than two minutes, the letter still in her hands. He takes a while to open the door because he's trying to delay that confrontation for as long as he can. He knows she's going to hate him. He knows there will never be a chance for him, now.
There's tears on her face when he finally opens the door and she's looking right at him with that expression he can't possibly decipher. She keeps looking at him for a moment, her eyes locked with his, breathing heavily.
"It was you, wasn't it? You were the one who sent me those postcards." She says.
"Zoe, I—"
She shakes her head. "I can't believe it was you. You're the reason I came here."
"I did it for Harley." He explains. "He was dying, I needed to do something. All he ever wanted was to get to know you, Zoe, but we both knew it was too late for that. There wasn't enough time. So he wrote you that letter and made me promise to give it to you if you ever came to Bluebell. I didn't give it to you before because you weren't ready then. But you are now. And I hope you understand that everything I did was for Harley. I know I probably shouldn't have sent those postcards but I wanted to him happy and, most importantly, I wanted to bring you home. Where you belong." He takes a step closer to her. "I'm not sorry I did it. It was the best decision I've made my entire life even if you hate me for it. I'm sorry you didn't get to know your father but I'm not sorry for sending you those postcards. Because they brought you to me."
He's finally read to hear about how much she hates him when her body collides with his. Her arms are around his neck and her head is resting on top of his chest when he realizes she's not yelling. No, she's hugging him.
"Thank you." She says.
Her head lifts from his chest and her eyes search for his. He's looking down at her with uncertainty, confusion and maybe even fear and they are suddenly both very aware of how close they are. Zoe's eyes are on his lips, her long, black eyelashes casting a shadow over her face. Wade feels his heart beating wildly, pounding against his chest.
Their eyes close and their lips meet.
The kiss is soft and is gentle and Zoe is pretty sure Wade has never kissed anyone like that before. His hands slowly make their way to her hips, pulling her even closer. She sighs into his mouth, making his whole body shiver. It's not like their frantic make-out session in his car at all – it's slower and more languorous, a mix of warm lips and cold air and the saltiness of her tears and it's nice.
He pulls away slowly and glares down at her, a thumb brushing against her cheek, making sure she really is okay with that. She closes the distance between once again, capturing his lips again firmly, a hand between his hair and the other holding his face down to hers. She's definitely okay with that.
She thinks she could get used to it.
Hey, everyone. So this chapter is a bit big to make up for all the waiting. I don't think I'll ever be able to be quick in updating a story because writer blocks and exams are a really pain in the ass. Anyway, I really want to thank everyone who takes time to review my story (and follow and favorite, as well). If it wasn't for the reviews I probably would've given up on this after the first chapter so this is all thanks to you. Don't forget to tell me what you thought about this chapter, it keeps me going. I hope you liked it.
So, what did you think? :)