What a suspicious bunch you all are. There was a danger in Sam going to the park and leaving Dean, but it wasn't the one you were thinking. There's some business to attend to before we get back to the action.

This was a freaking hard chapter to write. Double underscore on the freaking. I must have gone back to the drawing board a dozen times. So be gentle with me.

Chapter 11

Not quite an hour after Sam had taken Tommy to the park, Lisa heard a voice from the other room calling for Sam. She poked her head through the door and saw Dean rubbing his face tiredly.

"You okay?" she called.

The injured man jumped at her voice and his hands came away from his face. "Ah yeah. Is Sam there?"

"No, he's taken Tommy to the park. Anything I can help you with?"

Dean needed a bathroom break and he thought about whether he could wait for Sam. Yep, he could wait. That was way too personal for Lisa to help him with. Instead he asked, "Have you got any aspirin or anything?"

"Yeah I do," she answered and retreated into the room looking for her handbag. When she found what she was looking for she filled a glass with water then returned to Dean.

"How many do you want?" she asked.

"Whatever the recommended dose is, double it," he replied.

She shook some tablets into her hand then gave them to Dean with the glass of water. Propping himself on one elbow he swallowed the pills in two mouthfuls then handed the glass back to her before flopping back onto his pillow with a sigh.

"You want something to eat?"

The thought of food appealed and the injured man asked, "What have you got?"

"Last night's pizza."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "I can't believe Sam didn't polish it off."

"Oh he ate a lot, believe me."

"I'm sure he did. Yeah, I'll have some of that."

As Lisa went about getting the pizza Dean struggled to get into a sitting position. He gained a new appreciation for the handrail which had been above the hospital bed, any time he had wanted to sit up all he had to do was pull himself upward using that handrail. Now he was pushing down on the bed and it was much less effective. He grunted as he slowly edged his way upward using the bedhead for support, but when he was as upright as he cared to be he found he didn't have enough pillows to prop himself up comfortably. Without pillows behind him he wasn't going to be able to sustain his position for long and with a sigh he called Lisa.

Her head appeared around the doorframe, "Yeah?"

"Could you pass me the pillows on that other bed," he motioned to the adjoining king size.

"Sure," she hastily grabbed the two pillows from the bed that would be Sam's then came over to where Dean lay and gingerly placed the pillows behind his back. She felt awkward in her closeness to him, and she avoided making eye contact.

"Thanks," he whispered and Lisa looked at him sharply, the weakness of his voice making her worry that he was going to pass out again, but he returned her gaze and the momentary panic that she may have to perform some medical service faded. She left to get the pizza that was warming in the microwave and returned a minute later, plate in hand.

"Here you go."

"Thanks," he gave her a wan smile.

"Listen, are you up for a bit of conversation?"

The slice of pizza Dean had just picked up hung frozen in the air between the plate and his mouth. Oh God he thought she wants to talk about personal stuff. Give me strength. Sam! Come and save me.

"Sure," he replied with a forced smile. He knew this conversation was coming, he just didn't think it would be so soon.

Lisa brought over a wooden dining chair to sit beside the bed. This was opportunity she had been looking for to talk to Dean, just the two of them, no-one to interrupt. When Sam had left Lisa had considered whether she wanted to have a deep and meaningful with Dean if he woke up. He looked so unwell she wasn't sure the time was right. But then again it was probably better to get this stuff said and done as soon as possible, get it out of the way.

Lisa sat on the hard chair rubbing her legs in nervous anticipation. Where to start? "I was just – I just wanted to-." Broaching this subject was harder than she thought. Four years in the making and she had gone through it in her mind so many times, what she would say to Dean if she ever saw him again. Looking at him now, so pale and pained, injured saving her life, she knew she wouldn't be able to say the hurtful, spiteful things she had imagined.

"How much do you remember about us being together four years ago?"

Sam! Where are you?

Dean put on his most charming smile as he said, "You know, I've moved around a lot in the last four years, met a lot of people. You're going to have to give me a little more information about how we met."

And there it was. He didn't remember her at all. She suspected as much, but having it confirmed was crushing. She felt a burning behind her eyes and had the urge to hit him. He had made quite an impression on her and it was insulting that she had made absolutely no impression on him at all.

Dean cringed inwardly. He could see the devastation in her eyes and he wished there was something he could say to lessen the blow, but she was a total blank to him. Sure she looked familiar, and a few times over the last week he had tried to piece together her face and the diner in his memory, but the circumstances of their meeting remained elusive.

"Your car broke down," Lisa said quietly. "You wanted to buy a part from Ray, the mechanic, but he wouldn't sell it to you, you had to either leave the car with him to be fixed or find the part somewhere else. He's the only mechanic within 50 miles of the town so you had no choice but to leave the car with him. And boy were you pissed off about it."

Realisation dawned on Dean. "Oh yeah, Ray, now I remember." No way Dean could forget that dick, he had refused to sell Dean a $10 part and then charged him $100 for a job that shouldn't have taken more than an hour which he took three days to do. To top it off he had demanded cash in advance. Dean could feel himself getting worked up just thinking about it.

Yeah you remember the car being broken, you remember Ray, you don't remember me, Lisa though bitterly.

Now that he had a starting point, Dean started to put the chain of events together in his head. "I walked to the diner and asked for water because Ray had bled me dry and I didn't have any money. You served me."

"Yeah," she answered flatly.

"You gave me something for free. Um…."

"Chocolate cake."

"Yeah, chocolate cake, that's right." There she was. Lisa was the chocolate cake girl, now he remembered her. He had asked her if there was a cheap motel in town and she had said her parents had a place he could use for a few days. She'd been really nice to him, and one thing had led to another. It had been pleasant spending time with someone for a few days without thinking about a hunt, he had enjoyed the break. But then the car was fixed, his Dad was waiting for him and he had left. Probably abruptly. He couldn't remember if he had said goodbye, but in general he didn't, he preferred to avoid the whole female emotional scene.

"Huh." Dean commented, staring at his pizza. Just because he could now place her, didn't make things any less awkward. He had never intended his time with Lisa to be anything more than a one night stand (spread out over three days), and he could be fairly certain he had never promised her any more than that.

Lisa was looking at him, waiting for him to say something and her attention made him uncomfortable.

"So….how've you been?" he asked, trying to find something to fill the silence.

"Fine."

Great, she wasn't going to make this easy for him. "Well you look- terrific." He knew that sounded insincere but she did look good. He could see why he was attracted to her four years ago, pretty face, nice body. Lisa raised one unimpressed eyebrow at the compliment.

"Did Sam say when he was going to be back?" Dean enquired, looking hopefully toward the door.

"No."

Dean took a deep breath. "Listen, about four years ago, I'm sorry if I hurt you, it wasn't my intention. I really enjoyed spending time with you. We had fun. Didn't we have fun?"

"Small fun," she conceded. This was what she wanted to hear. Some apologizing.

"I take it Sam told you what we do?"

She nodded.

"Well then you understand why I couldn't stay. No matter how much I wanted to." Don't go overboard he told himself, she'll see through it. "This job has us moving constantly, saving people, hunting things. We never stay in one place for long."

"You could have asked me to come with you," she suggested.

"Oh hell no," he replied. How much of a lifestyle cramper would that be, having a chick with him on the road? "It's much too dangerous. What if something happened to you? How could I live with that?"

Lisa softened at that sentiment. She had already seen how dangerous the job could be so she could understand him wanting to protect her from that.

"Why didn't you ever call?" she persisted.

"Because I didn't know when I would be able to see you again, and I didn't want to make promises I couldn't keep. I couldn't offer you anything Lisa, it was better to let the relationship go."

"You could at least have said goodbye," she said.

"Yeah I should have, I'm sorry. But saying goodbye is hard sometimes."

Lisa wasn't exactly buying all that Dean was selling, but putting the spin that he suggested on events certainly made the rejection more bearable. She thought about whether she wanted to let him off the hook or whether she wanted to take issue with some of his 'explanations'. He could have called. He could have explained things better at the time. He could have done a lot of things differently.

Lisa sighed and looked away. She didn't want to harbour any more ill will toward Dean. She'd held onto her rage for four years but now she had a different perspective and over the past week the rage had receded. Sure Dean had some piggish tendencies but Sam had told her things about their life which gave her a better understanding of Dean. He wasn't a bad guy. In fact he was a pretty good guy from what Sam said. And he had saved her life at great risk to himself. She didn't want to rant and rave at him. She had her apology, she had her explanation and at least he remembered her now. And she wasn't entirely blameless in this whole thing, she had expected way too much from a guy she barely knew.

"It was really hurtful," she said softly, "the way you left and didn't look back." She wasn't going to go on about this, she just wanted him to know how she felt.

"I'm sorry," Dean replied with a sincerity that Lisa didn't doubt and those words were enough to put the matter to rest. She gave him a smile which he returned. "Friends?" he asked.

"Well, now wait a minute," she said with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "I don't want to let you off too easy. I guess I could be friends if you were to admit that I was the best sex of your life and leaving me was the hardest thing you've ever had to do."

Dean almost choked on his pizza. "I have to admit what?"

"You heard me. And that's a good deal. I've got four years worth of bitching stored up and ready to go, but you can cut right through it by making those admissions."

"I don't know," he hedged. "That's a high price for friendship."

Dean looked at Lisa with amusement. He could tell by the smile on her face that she was having fun with him, testing him to see what he would say. His initial reaction was to tell her to piss off with her admissions, but he wasn't sure that would go down very well. Given they had to live in close quarters and their relationship was dicey anyway that probably wasn't his best option. He wondered what would happen if he refused to take her deal. He liked the idea of playing this game with her and seeing how far he could push it.

"How about I'll give you top 10 for sex and some regret at leaving," he countered.

"Top 10?" she exclaimed. "Are you trying to insult me? I can't go any lower than top 3 and I want to hear you shed some tears at leaving."

Dean laughed. "Lady, you got the wrong guy. I'll give you your top 3 but you got to leave me with some dignity."

"Okay, top 3 and regret at leaving," she conceded.

"Are these admission just between the two of us or do I have to go around telling people?" Dean asked.

"Between the two of us. Although you may like to slip it into a conversation with Sam. I'll leave that up to you."

"And if I make these admissions I'm off the hook right? The slate is clean?"

"Yep."

After a moment's pause Dean said, "Then let me just say that you were in the top 3 for sex and I really regretted leaving."

"Really? What a lovely thing to say," she replied with mock sincerity. "I guess we can be friends then."

The tension between them immediately dissipated and they grinned at each other.

"So how come you're still working at the diner?" Dean asked. "I thought you were studying?" He hoped like hell he wasn't thinking of some other girl.

"Yeah I was studying computer science, but then Tommy came along and it all got too hard. I needed an income more than an education, so I never finished the degree. I might finish it one day"

"Are you still with Tommy's father?"

Lisa's heart skipped a beat. Here was her chance to come clean and say those fateful words to Dean you are Tommy's father, but she already knew she wouldn't. She had made that decision days ago. It was better for everyone if she kept her secret. She replied as casually as she could, "No," and shook her head briskly. "He left very early on. It's just me and Tommy."

"Must be tough."

"Sometimes," Lisa admitted. "Mom's great though," she continued quickly. "She looks after Tommy when I work. She looks after him if I need a bit of space. And he's a good kid, you know, he's not hard work. There's more ups than downs."

Lisa had had enough of talking about herself and looked for a way to deflect the conversation onto him. "So how about you? Hey, I can't believe you never mentioned you had a brother."

"Didn't I?" Dean commented vaguely, "because I definitely have a brother." He guessed that he had met Lisa during the Sam at Stanford years and it had been a sore subject at the time. He had kept it close to his chest how much he missed Sam and he had avoided talking about him where possible.

"Yeah I know now," she laughed. "It was quite a surprise to meet him. He's kinda-" Lisa wasn't sure what she wanted to say.

"What?"

She settled on, "Different from you."

Dean gave a short laugh. "Chalk and cheese, yeah I know." He finished the pizza and put the plate beside him on the bed. He was feeling tired again, he hadn't had enough sleep to counter the very active morning. "He's the geek, I'm the muscle, it seems to work for us" he jibed.

"He's the geek?" she queried. "I've seen him without a shirt on this week and he looks pretty muscley, which makes you….?"

"Hey," Dean objected, "Trust me, he's the geek. Have you checked out these muscles?"

"I have as a matter of fact, they're very nice."

"Nice?" he repeated in disgust. "Maybe I should take my shirt off."

Lisa put up her hands as Dean reached for his shirt. "No that's not necessary, they're lovely." Another look of disgust and a reach for the shirt. "Rippling. I meant rippling."

Dean thought for a moment and said, "I can live with that." He smiled and shook his head, "Wait until I tell Sam you were ogling him. That is so demeaning. He may need counselling."

"He practically paraded in front of me," she protested, "what was I supposed to do?"

"Avert your eyes. Clearly-"

Dean drew in a sudden breath as sharp pain started to emanate from his back. Lisa's eyes clouded with worry when she saw his discomfort. She remembered she was here by herself and her panic at having to perform a medical service returned.

"I'm going to have to change positions," Dean explained.

"Why don't you lie down," Lisa suggested. "You look like you could use some sleep. You look awful."

Dean smiled at her bluntness. "Then the outside matches the inside," he replied.

The young woman took away the pillows she had added to the stack and threw them back onto Sam's bed. She hovered over Dean as he slid down in the bed, not really knowing how to help. The injured man found laying down a much easier position to get into than sitting up and didn't need her assistance.

Lisa picked up the plate laying on the bed and stood up to leave.

"Thanks for the pizza," Dean said as he closed his eyes.

"You're welcome," she replied with a warm smile.

For all the hurt and disappointment Lisa had felt toward Dean over the years, for all the times Lisa had cursed him and determined that she would give him a piece of her mind if she ever saw him again, that conversation had been much better than some yellathon, she had really enjoyed talking with him.

And she discovered that her feelings for him had changed. He was beautiful to look at, fun to talk to, but she had a sense of been there done that. She didn't feel that history might repeat itself with Dean, she didn't want to go down that road again.

She felt bad about not telling him he was Tommy's father but he had his life, she had hers. He didn't need the complication and she was happy with the staus quo, why go making trouble?

When she was at the door she turned and gazed at Dean for few moments. She wondered if she would have treated him differently if he hadn't looked so sick.