Chapter 11:

…..

Thanks to all my reviewers for their kind words. I have taken everything said on board and am trying to make some changes to please everyone. I really hope that you enjoy this and please remember to review….it makes me smile knowing people are enjoying what I am publishing.

Oh I know that I've been heavy with the sadness and emotion, but I'm trying to make it really emotional and dramatic….this is probably my first fic that has been this heavy, so I am glad to see people are getting that from my writing.

To sivy64- enjoy this one.

….

…..

Shannon sat for a little while longer with Lawson. She didn't know if he could hear her, if he could understand what she was saying, but she felt she owed it to both herself and Lawson to try. So she sat, gripping his hand firmly, telling him what had been happening, about her strange fantasies and about Josh's heartache over his mate. In between sentences, she whispered quietly to him "wake up! Open your damn eyes, talk back to me".

She even decided to talk about weddings, after what Lawson had been through to get an engagement ring, Shannon decided to think of them as already engaged….they loved each other, had been through hell for each other, what else was there to think about? So she sat there and started to describe her dream wedding. She wasn't much of a girly girl, telling Lawson plainly, "a small ceremony with closest friends and family, no fancy dress code and a rented wedding dress so they could have a fantastic honeymoon in Europe". She couldn't help but feel her eyes start to water as she spoke about marriage…she just wanted it…him…them…..so badly, she didn't know what else to do. She felt like a child, given a huge lollipop and not allowed to touch it, being taunted and teased, constantly reminded of what she couldn't have.

Slowly, she could feel her eyelids drooping, unable to stay open….her brain tuning out….eyes closed….black…..darkness…sleep.

….

…

Beep beep beep beeeeep beep beep beep beeeeep

The shrill quick sound of the machine woke Shannon with a start. Looking flustered she saw one of the many machines turning red as the numbers on the tiny monitor increased quickly.

"Help!" she yelled out behind her, pressing the red call button next to Lawson's bed. "Help us!" she shouted louder. Only a few seconds later a nurse and a doctor ran into the room.

"It's the machines!" Shannon exclaimed, her voice filled with fear and confusion. "They just started beeping, I don't know what happening".

"Nurse, take her out" the doctor instructed firmly. Shannon turned around and saw a nurse come in and take her wheelchair, turning it and beginning to wheel Shannon out of the room.

"No!" she screamed. "I need to stay with him! He needs me with him, I want to stay with him".

"I'm sorry darl" the nurse told her sympathetically "you can't be in there, the doctor needs to treat him. I'm sure your husband will be fine" she smiled, stopping Shannon's wheelchair in the hallway outside and walking over to the nearby nurses' station.

"He's not my husband" Shannon whispered to herself, looking down at her hands sadly. That was the simple fact, they weren't married, they weren't engaged, hell, they hadn't even been able to be proper girlfriend and boyfriend, they were just in love. But what did that mean? What was their relationship to other people? Shannon had no ties with Lawson, she couldn't demand to see him, or speak to his doctor and find out what was happening to him. Maybe it was Kerry, or even his mother or father that were his medical emergency contact, his "next of kin"- the people entitled to know. Shannon was nothing, just the woman who loved him. The woman who's heart Lawson held.

….

…

Stella sat in Shannon's hospital room, staring out the tenth floor window, watching the sun begin to set over Melbourne's city skyline. Looking out ruefully at the sight she was watching, knowing what many of her friends were going through. The TR team, her family, were being torn apart. Everyone was affected by this, well maybe not Charlie, he was just an uptight arse, too new to care about his workmates. He didn't give two shits about TR, he only cared about getting a result and a pay check at the end of the week.

Stella's mind wandered to Shannon and Lawson, just the next ward over, both being tormented, and for what? Be being in love? For only wanting to be together. It made Stella think, seeing the heartache Shannon was going through, because she loved Lawson, because she would do anything for him, to be with him. And it made Stella think….love was important, its meant to be cherished and not wasted because if you love someone that much, you need to make sure it's out there, for the world to know….before it's too late..

"Hey" Stella was startled by a hand gripping her shoulder. She looked up and saw Michael smiling down at her.

"Sorry to scare you" he laughed gently, sitting down opposite her.

"You're alright" Stella returned the smile. "Why you here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just thought I would check up on you" he replied, maintaining the smile, concern filling his eyes. "I've just finalised all the discharge papers, so I'm good to go" he grinned.

"That's awesome" Stella told him "wish I could say the same for Shannon and Lawson" she said, her voice lowering with sadness as she returned her gaze to the setting sun.

"How are they?" Michael asked sympathetically, resting his hand on hers.

"Oh my God Michael" Stella sighed, "Shannon is just a wreck, her mental state isn't good. She tells me about these dreams…or fantasies she has where she's married to Lawson. She actually woke up thinking that they had married. It's just so sad. She's refusing to eat, she's just living on an IV line and sedatives. Lawson isn't doing much better, they've put him in a coma and they don't know when he's going to come out, if he's going to come out" Stella was beginning to cry, tears were streaming down her face and a sob threatened to escape her throat with the next word. This was the first time she was actually able to get it all out, to really reveal her fears and emotions.

Michael just watched her as she sat and told him everything. It pained him to hear about his friends and colleagues going through so much emotional and physical pain. Seeing Stella about to cry, Michael took her hand and gave it a firm, reassuring squeeze. He stood up and pulled her up with him, wrapping his arms around her and engulfing her in a tight hug. Stella returned the gesture, resting her head on his chest, listening to the soothing sound of his heart beating.

"It's all going to be ok" Michael murmured to her.

"How can you know that?" she whispered, sniffling.

"I don't" he shrugged, "but we just need to stay optimistic and maybe it will happen".

Stella nodded and the pair remained in each other's arm for a few moments before Stella broke the hug and glanced up at Michael.

"I just figured out something" she told him blankly.

"What's that?"

"I love you"

"What?" Michael smiled in confusion. This 'confession' startled him, even though he loved her with all his heart, he had never excepted her to be saying it to him.

"I love you" she repeated, clearer, her voice stronger this time. "I love you".

"Where is this coming from?" he frowned.

"Just seeing Shannon and her heartache. Her and Lawson just really got together, admitted their feelings and look what's happened to them- they've literally been torn apart" Stella explained to him.

"So…" Michael paused "you're telling me you love me because you think I'm going to be run over" he grinned.

"No silly!" Stella laughed, sounding more like a snort because she had just been crying, "it's just made me realise that life is short and if you really love someone, you need to tell them, not hold your feelings back. You don't know what could be around the corner".

"So…you really love me?" Michael smiled, looking down at her, caressing her cheek gently.

"Yeah" Stella nodded "I know I've taken my time admitting it, but…." She paused, looking down uncertainly "I love you" she breathed.

"I love you too Stell" Michael smiled at her, leaning down and kissing her passionately.

Breaking apart, Michael wrapped his arms around her once again, kissing her head.

"Just be careful when you're crossing roads" Stella murmured to him

Michael burst out laughing and nodded, "deal" he grinned.

"I better go get Shannon" Stella said, "her nurses will kill me if they find out she's been out of her bed for this long".

They kiss again and broke apart. "I love you" Stella whispered, looking deep into Michael's eyes.

"I love you too" he replied.

Stella couldn't help but grin to herself as she walked along the hospital corridor towards Lawson's room. She had done it. She had told the man she loves her true feelings. It felt like a massive weight had been lifted, there was nothing holding her back.

Until she rounded the corner.

Shannon sat in her wheelchair outside Lawson's room.

Hunched over.

Crying.

Stella's smile wiped off her face she ran up to Shannon, crouching down in front of her friend.

"Shannon!" she exclaimed, trying to meet her friend's eyes, trying to find an explanation. "What is it? What happened".

Shannon looked up at Stella, her eyes red and puffy from the constant crying, her hollow, pale cheeks turned pink from the tears. She looked up at Stella, still heavily sobbed, not able to form words.

"Shannon!" Stella probed. "What is it?"

"Lawson dead" she wailed, erupting into violent shaking sobs.

"What?" Stella breathed, her eyes widening with shock as she fell back to the floor, her legs losing balance.

"He's dead!" Shannon screamed. "He's dead!"

….

….

Ok well let me know what you think. Just hit that button