at SamathaFreita3: Thanks, and all about Henry and Robin in this chapter.
at pt159: Thank you very much.
at theEvilPandaa: It'll get better, don't worry.
at shikasgirl10: Thanks a lot.
at Thornspike: I agree, but he also has them on the show. Ah, sorry about Henry, but a hint of in in this one. Thanks a lot for reviewing.
at authorlouise: I feel sorry for her too. Well, she was the EQ, there are probably a lot of people wanting to get back at her, but I don't see Whate having much of a reason.
at Anny Rodrigues: Yep, sorry, but she does. I think she's relied on her magic way too much and that she'll grow learning to cope without it. Hope you'll still keep reading.
at Casey: Great guess about Marian. You hit the nail on the head! Thank you so much for reviewing.
at TheRebirthofPain: Yep, I know, but it's the price for keeping the rift together... so sadly she won't be getting it back, but that doesn't mean she can't defend herself or that she can't learn how to :)
Thanks to everyone who reviewed.
I don't own nothing.
The right thing to do
Storybrooke – Present time
He hadn't seen her in two weeks and he thought he might just go crazy. With every passing minute he felt worse. He tried to respect her, give her time and space, he did, but he just about had enough.
Rumpelstilstkin had come out of her room and told them she didn't want to see anyone – and yes that included her son. Everyone had been shell-shocked. Whale had promised to talk to her but when he came back he told them Regina's response was negative and that she insisted no one would be allowed to visit her.
So logically Robin had broken in her room not much later.
She had told him off and that he should go back to his wife. She had said she was no longer interested and when he had refused, she had called security on him. Whale had asked him not to show up anymore because he was upsetting her, and so Robin caved.
Storybrooke – Two weeks ago
"Robin, you're back! How's the Queen?" Alan saw Robin approach first.
"She's woken, but not well," Robin said tiredly. "I need to talk to Marian. I have to apologize and explain to her where I've been."
"Robin there's something we need to tell you," John said uncomfortably. "Maybe you should sit down."
"Where's Marian?" Robin asked alarmed and some sort of very bad feeling formed in his stomach.
"She's not… She's kind of… gone," John stumbled over the words and Tuck explained further.
"It was odd, but I believe it was because she didn't belong in this time. She started to fade, pulsed with light and then it faded and her form seemed almost transparent. She wasn't in pain," he hurried to add. "She was just fading away peacefully. Marian said that she loved both you and Roland and she was happy to have seen you again and that you've done an amazing job with Roland. Robin, she said she wants you to be happy, you and Roland. She smiled and then she simply faded. She was happy, don't worry."
"When did this happen?" Robin gasped out, his head spinning.
Tuck looked away guiltily, "The first night she came back…"
"What?! She's been gone… Why haven't you told me sooner?" Robin exploded.
He was angry, so very angry but not with them. He was angry at himself for completing forgetting about her. And he felt guilty so horribly guilty. The anger faded fast and the guilt stayed. He hadn't spent a minute with her in the precious little time she was given, worse even Marian had barely spent time with Roland, with her son. He felt guilty because she had to leave this world without him at her side and because he wasn't there to protect her. But mostly he felt guilty because not only had he spent every second he was away next to another woman, but also because there was this tiny part of him (one he trampled down, one he hated) that was relieved because death had gotten Marian back and it meant Regina would be safe. Bile rose in him, he was a terrible person.
"Robin we are sorry, but it all happened so fast and when she was gone… There was no need to add to your burden with the Queen in critical condition. There wasn't anything you could have done."
He might throw up, Robin thought. He lost his wife again and this time it felt worse than the first time because he didn't feel the emptiness that went along with her passing the first time, not the unbearable pain or the deep never-ending misery. He had let her go and all he could feel was terrible guilt because she had loved him and he had let her down and he was sorry, so very, very sorry.
"Robin," John sat down next to him. Robin hadn't even realised he had sunken to the ground. "Robin, you've mourned her already, for a very long time before you let her go. None of us will judge you if you don't do it again. She's only been here a few hours and it took you months to get over her death, you don't have to descend into misery again. You let her go and it was the healthy thing to do. You have no reason to feel bad. Marian wouldn't want that, she said you should be happy and that's what all of us want for you."
Before Regina had collapsed Robin hadn't known what to do, he only knew that his wife was back and he had fallen madly in love with another. But when he thought he might lose Regina forever, it had felt like a part of him was dying as well and he didn't have a doubt that he needed to stay with her. He managed to life without Marian and moved on, he had loved her once but if Regina died… he didn't know how he could ever live on. And the guilt was weighting him down even more.
He didn't try to approach Regina after that for a week, because he felt he owed it to his wife to wait – even if it killed him. He had to atone for his sins, because the part of him that was relieved at Marian's passing was a part he couldn't erase from his consciousness.
Storybrooke – Present time
So Robin had held back, had punished himself for his behaviour towards Marian and kept his distance from Regina. He had barely slept, slaving himself away day and night or stewed in his guilt, but after a week he had reached his limit. He needed to see Regina, had to see that she really was fine. So he had tried to meet her, had tried to visit her at her house - she didn't let him in and he didn't want to break in because he was not some stalker. He had tried to accidently run into her – she had avoided him like the plague, it was like she could smell he was there or something. He had tried to run into her on purpose and she had straight out ignored him. He even tried using one of those new devices they called a mobile (Regina had given him one before…) and she had hung up on him. Either she was using magic or she was a lot faster than he had given her credit for because after running into him twice, she turned every time she caught a glimpse of him and ran the other way and he couldn't catch up to her – and he was fast!
Robin didn't understand why. Yes, surely Marian's appearance had been a shock, but he had been with Regina, had run after her – so she couldn't, shouldn't believe he had wanted to leave her. It was nerve-wrecking and he was unusually aggressive and moody – tough that also had to do with the guilt. But he started to accept what had happened – the Merry Men being a great help at that – and all he needed was Regina. Roland missed her as well and kept asking to go eat ice-cream with "R'gina" again, Robin didn't have an answer for him.
Worst was that Robin was worried for Regina – worried being a mild term for the terrors he saw happen before him every time he closed his eyes, because she didn't value her life and she was acting in a way that had him imagine horrible things.
While she looked and acted like nothing happened – if one were to ignore the fact that she ran every time she saw him – she also didn't let anyone close to her. Before, she had started to open up to people, had even stroke up a tentative friendship with Snow White, but now she was isolating herself from everyone – even Henry. And that was what caused Robin's nausea, because she loved Henry more than anything.
R&R
Regina stared at the lasagne. She had barely eaten two bites today and she really should at least try her homemade cooking. But the thought made her want to vomit and she shoved the plate to the side. She was glad to have managed to deceive most people for the past two weeks and avoid those she had no intention of seeing. Without her make-up on, the paleness of her skin made her look like a ghost and she had to pick her wardrobe carefully to hide her weight loss. It wasn't that she actually cared what people thought of her but she could no longer afford the luxury of letting other's think she was weak – because now she really was.
Her magic had allowed her to rest assured about her safety despite her petite stature and her elaborate gowns as the Evil Queen had made her seem more... massive. Now she had neither.
The other reason to be careful not to show weakness was Snow White. Regina wanted to prevent the princess from seeing her condition, because that would only ever result in Snow getting more involved. Really that women was going to be the death of her, she kept trying to chat or wanting to 'help her'. Tough in a way Regina was grateful, trying to evade Snow's infamous talks, kept her from acknowledging the feeling of void that had settled into her.
Regina had made her decision, she kept away from Robin and Roland and Henry. She missed them terribly. She had found herself picking up the phone about to call Robin more often than she would have liked. Only because she wanted to hear his voice… no because she needed him, wanted to get lost in his arms and feel safe for the first time in weeks. She missed him so much; she felt her body physically ache. But she had made her decision. Henry as well, he was kept at distance, even if Regina didn't dismiss him at her doorstep, like she did with everyone else. Her mind was made up and she had prolonged it for too long already. It was time to act.
As if her resolution had been heard the bell announced she had a guest, Snow White was here. Snow had been incredibly happy when Regina had called this morning and asked her to come over to talk. She had been so relieved that she put salt in David's coffee, but his face was somehow worth it.
"Would you like some tea, coffee or maybe some lasagne?" Regina offered as the two women stepped into the kitchen. She had to keep up the pretence that everything was just fine.
Snow declined and she glanced at her step-mother from the corner of her eyes. Her worries increased, she was more fragile than ever, despite the tough front she put up. She was separating herself from everyone else and that wouldn't be worrisome all that much, if it didn't include Henry as well.
Robin looked haggard as well and very tired, Snow was afraid he'd drop any moment, she didn't understand why those two weren't together anymore, but it was definitely Regina's doing.
With growing uneasy Snow looked at Regina's lose blouse, a bit too lose if you asked her. A look at the counter and indeed there sat the lasagne with a piece missing and if one looked a bit farther behind there was also a plate with a perfectly untouched piece of lasagne. Snow hoped she'd at least be able to convince Regina to allow Henry to stay with her.
"How are you, Regina?" Snow groaned inwardly, what a stupid question to ask.
"Snow I didn't ask you here to play happy family. I need to give you something and then I'd like for you to leave," Regina swiftly moved over and picked up an envelope from the table.
The collywobbles in Snow's stomach intensified and she pulled out the papers from the envelope. She skimmed the pages and gasp in shock, "Regina, this is… You can't be serious."
"Clearly it is. I've already signed, but as you can see it still requires Emma's signature," Regina said stiffly. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest and her whole posture screamed defence.
Snow's eyes filled with tears, "Why? Regina, why would you do that? Please, you need to…"
"I've made up my mind. Don't let the door hit you on your way out," Regina indicated to the door.
Snow used her last resort, "Regina, how can you do this to Henry? He's been wanting to move in with you for a…"
Regina's eyes flashed dangerously, "Henry made it very clear who he views as his mother. Thank you very much, Snow White."
"So, this is your way of punishing him?"
Regina stepped closer to her, "I'm doing what's best for my… for Henry. He's a Charming, always has been, always will be and now that I had time to get used to it I've accepted it and I decided it's for the best. As a Charming he's got a guaranteed happy end, while Mills aren't exactly lucky with it. And for the record I'm doing precisely what your daughter did, giving him his best chance."
For a second Snow was too stunned to reply, Regina's logic was ridiculous and if the topic wasn't as serious, she would have laughed. Before she could react Regina had gripped her arm and shoved her the last meters to the door and dropped her outside. Speechless Snow stood in front of the closed door with the blasted envelope in her hand.
She needed to talk to Emma and then she wanted to call Robin. He looked dreadful because Regina kept ignoring him, maybe if he knew how bad things really had gotten he'd stop being so damned respectful and break in her house and talk some sense into her. The weight loss and her unapproachable attitude got worse… and now this. Something had to be done.
When Snow entered the apartment, Emma was soothing her little brother and, if the smell was any indication, David tried his luck making dinner. Unfortunately cooking wasn't one of his talents.
"Emma, we need to talk," Snow said outright. "Where's Henry?"
"Upstairs. Playing some kind of video game," Emma rolled her eyes. "What's going on? Is everything alright with Regina?"
David came over from the kitchen, clearly interested as well.
Snow looked at them solemnly and when Emma laid Neal back in his crib, she handed her the envelope wordlessly.
Her husband came over and gave her a chaste kiss, and then he looked at her questioningly. Her expression was worried and David' thumb smoothed over the frown on her forehead.
"What the hell is this?" Emma asked incredulously, she gave the papers to David.
"She wants to give up Henry?!" David was grobsmacked. Regina had signed away all her parental rights to Emma.
"This makes no sense," Emma pinched the bridge of her nose. "Regina loves Henry more than anything. Why would she do this?"
Snow sighed and sank on the sofa. She bit back her tears and started to explain what happened earlier.
"That is absolutely ridiculous," Emma stood up. "I'll talk to her."
"Emma, please don't take this the wrong way, but I honestly think you're the last person Regina wants to talk to," David said cautiously.
"I don't care. If she thinks she can give up Henry, just like that she…"
"My mum wants what?!"
Startled the three adults turned to the stairs.
"Henry…"
The boy didn't listen, "This is your fault!" he screamed. His face contorted in anger, "My mum was happy until you brought back Marian and now she doesn't even want me anymore! I want my mum!"
He stormed past her and was out the door before Emma recovered from the shock. His words from the hospital resonated in her head. "You're not my mum, you can't tell me anything. I want to stay here with my real mum."
She shook the words off and was about to run after him, when Snow held her back. "Emma, let him go. Maybe he'll be able to bring Regina to her senses."
Snow had hoped things would go differently and Henry wouldn't have gotten hurt, but maybe it would turn out well in the end.
Henry didn't stop even when the bumped into people, he kept running. Tears streamed down his face and once he reached his door he hammered and screamed for his mother.
Inside Regina heard Henry and hasted to the door. "Henry! What happened? Are you alright?"
Henry threw himself in her arms and clutched at her for dear life.
"Henry?" Regina ran her fingers through his hair soothingly. She saw how distraught Henry was and held onto him. She leaned back a little and stroke over his head, "What's going on?"
"Please, don't give me away," he burst out.
"Henry…" Regina was speechless. "Come in first."
Regina hugged him and kept her arm on his shoulders as they walked in the house, "Do you want to drink or eat something?"
"I'm sorry, mum, I really am. I know I said terrible things to you and I said that you weren't my real mum and that you didn't love me, but I didn't mean it and I know it's not true. I'm so sorry, please don't leave me. I'll be good, I promise, but please don't give me away," fresh tears flooded his cheeks and Regina's heart broke.
"Henry, I'm so sorry," she held him more tightly. She never ever meant to hurt him.
"You're my mum," he sniffed.
Regina let him cry at her shoulder until he calmed down.
"Henry, I didn't want to hurt you," Regina explained softly. "I thought it would make things better and easier for you. I thought you were happy in New York with Emma."
His heart sunk and every bad word he ever threw at his mum crossed his mind. Sure his mum had made mistakes, but she loved him and she always thought about him first, and he loved her back. But his mum didn't know that, at least she didn't believe it. "I love you, mum. I want you to stay my mum."
"I want only what's best for you. You know that Henry, don't you?"
"I want you to be my mum. That's what's best for me," Henry said.
"Henry, I'm sorry, very sorry. I never wanted you to feel like I didn't want you. I'd do anything for you. I thought you'd be happier with Emma and the Charmings, but it that's really what you want…" she smiled and Henry's smile brightened. And for the first time in weeks Regina felt lighter and a true smile tugged at her lips.
"Can I please move back in?"
Regina blinked, "What about Emma?"
"This is my home. Emma is my mum as well, and I'll still want to see her, but I want to stay with you," he didn't want to admit that he also wanted to stay because he was afraid she'd change her mind and he'd lose her. But mostly he wanted to move in and then maybe they could work something out and he'd switch between Regina and Emma.
Her whole resolve crumbled, faintly she could hear her mother reprimanding her for being weak, but Henry's big glassy eyes were more important, "Of course you can stay, Henry. This is your home, you're always welcome. I'm sorry I ever made you think differently."
"Great, I'm going to call Emma so she can bring me my stuff," exited Henry got up and looked for the phone.
Regina watched him and her heart felt lighter. She no longer felt like she was drowning, but she had also decided to let him go because she was no longer able to protect him without her magic. She had lots of enemies, none of which was above using her son to hurt her. And for the first time, she was truly and honestly glad that the other part of the family was part of the 'butterfly-trading-cards-and-unicorn-stickers-brigade'.
R&R
"How is the Queen?" Little John asked with his voice lowered and looked around in case their leader was around. Robin had no idea that his men had made it their business to protect the woman and made sure one of them was always watching over her. All of them were hoping the two of them would reconcile sooner or later and it wasn't Robin who was making it difficult. The Queen hadn't spotted them yet and there were no rumours about her collapse that were even close to the truth. Most of the people believed that it was caused by her broken heart because of Robin or they believed Rumpelstiltskin's theory about death's decision between Regina and Marian. And Robin kept getting condolences from complete strangers and only a few days ago one of the men had witnessed how one of them had held Regina responsible for Marian's death, Arthur had managed to intervene before Robin punched him straight in the face.
But not one rumour suspected Regina had lost her powers. It was only a matter of time and the truth would be revealed and then one of the Queen's enemies would make a move, but the Merry Men were ready. They were watching over her, whether she liked it or not – and no doubt she would not.
Samuel shrugged at John's question, "Snow White came by but left quickly and she seemed somewhat disturbed. Pretty sure she got thrown by the Queen. Then her boy came by, he was crying and upset. He didn't leave the house before I was ousted. But the blonde sheriff brought a suitcase that he picked up at the doorstep. I think he'll stay with her from now on."
That was good news. Maybe Henry would shake his mother from her isolation. None of the men had missed how sickly Regina looked. Being separated from Robin had the same effects on her than it had on him. Something had to be done. Regina would be safer if Robin knew about her loss of magic and they were together and also it would be better for the mood in the camp. Robin was intolerable.
"John, we need to do something. It cannot go on like this," Friar Tuck joined them. "Just now Roland asked me, if it was his fault Regina didn't talk to his papa anymore. He might be young but he's not blind or deaf. He knows something is going on."
All three men sighed collectively.
R&R
Robin wielded the axe frustrated and hit the tree repeatedly. He had waited long enough. The straw to break the camel's back had been when Roland asked him teary-eyed if Regina didn't like him anymore. Then Robin had promised him they would visit Regina today, and he didn't care in the slightest that Regina had no idea about it. She may be able to send him away but she'd never slam the door in his son's face. He had really reached his lowest point Robin had to admit. He was about to use his son in order to talk to Regina. He could picture her reaction vividly, but he didn't care. He'd endure a thousand deadly glares and contemptuous comments if only she'd stop behaving like he didn't exist. It reminded him bizarrely of the missing year, where he kept annoying only to feel her gaze on him and only him! Only now that he knew how it felt to receive her loving, caring gaze, her vulnerability and her touch, her annoyed look felt somehow unsatisfying.
"Papa," Robin looked up and realised he only held the axe loosely at his side and stared into space. "Can we go visit R'gina now?" Roland tugged at his sleeve and Robin kneeled before him.
"Sure my son. Let me freshen up, because otherwise she won't let me in because I stink," Roland giggled and Robin thought that his odour surely was not the reason she'd refuse them.
Roland was telling him to hurry up the whole process through. He missed Regina very much and the last time he had seen her, she had been in the hospital. Despite his father's reassurance that Regina was fine, Roland had worried.
Not even half an hour later father and son made their way to Regina's. With every step they took Robin's heart beat faster and his giddiness at finally seeing Regina overwhelmed his nervousness. He'd had enough. Regina would have to listen to him this time. Robin prayed she would give him another chance, regardless of how he still didn't know how he lost his first chance in the first place. Something he also planned on figuring out.
Roland bounced from one foot to another, when the doorbell announced their arrival. Robin chuckled at his son's antics.
It wasn't Regina but Henry who opened the door. Roland's smile widened, "Henry!"
He waved at the older boy enthusiastically. The two hadn't seen each other very often, but Roland had admired Henry from the start.
"Hi Roland," Henry ginned.
"Is R'gina here? We want to visit R'gina," Roland chattered.
Unsure Henry looked over his shoulder and then back to Robin. His mum wouldn't be happy, but Roland's happy face and Robin's pleading eyes convinced Henry to let them in. Henry didn't understand what exactly happened between his mother and her boyfriend (and no one else did either, apparently), but he liked Robin and he wanted his mother happy and clearly he had made her happy, very happy. Besides Robin had spent two days at Regina's bedside.
Robin looked dreadful, Henry thought, he probably hadn't slept in days.
"R'gina!" Roland whirled through the foyer and in the time it took Robin to catch up to him, the boy had already settled himself in Regina's arms. Robin wasn't jealous, he really wasn't, especially when it was about his son, but damn it, what he wouldn't give to switch with his son for only a few seconds.
Roland's arms were crossed behind her neck and he rested his head on her shoulder. Regina smiled down at him lovingly as he whispered how much he missed her. She turned away from the door knowing Robin's eyes were on her.
"I've missed you too, Roland," Regina told him. "How about I make some hot chocolate and you tell me everything you've done these last weeks?"
His head shot up and his curls bounced as he nodded with bright eyes. Robin trailed after them and plopped down on the table on the opposite side of his son. Henry followed as well and took the seat next to Roland. Regina had her back turned to them. Her hands shook as she warmed the milk and filled the cups. She gave one to Roland and the other to Henry.
"What? I don't get hot chocolate?"
Regina froze at Robin's voice. He chose to keep the tone deliberately light, more meant to tease her than to be taken seriously. She answered without looking at him.
"Hot chocolate? How old are you? You're getting tea."
Roland giggled and Regina's hands shook even harder while making the tea. It wasn't that she wanted to serve him or give him a reason to stay, but she needed something to occupy herself. She fought against the lump in her throat and gulped away the tears. She blinked wildly and got herself under control. If there was one thing she had her mother to be grateful for, it was for drilling perfect discipline into her mercilessly.
The mug met the table with a loud bang and she avoided his eyes.
"No, don't sit over there R'gina," Roland looked at her with hope filled eyes and she couldn't find it in her to disappoint him.
She hadn't wanted to sit opposite of Robin, but Roland's happy laugh with his stupid dimples he inherited from his stupid father, made it impossible to say no to him. So Regina sat down and took Roland on her lap. She was concentrating on the boy, at least she hoped she was able to.
Regina hated how it cost all her remaining strength not to look at Robin. She wanted to, so very badly even if it would break her heart, she wanted to look into his eyes. Those deep blue eyes that had looked at her with such compassion and understanding (but now they wouldn't, because she had killed his wife – twice if Rumpelstiltskin was to be believed), and those damned dimples which he used only to drive her insane with those bleeding smirks of his… she just wanted a glimpse because she had missed him so very bad.
Robin hated how she didn't look had him. She had to, not only because he needed it, and that it did, but also because he needed to see how she was. Her eyes were extraordinarily expressive, she controlled every inch of her body with perfection, was able to banish any and all stirring of emotion from her facial features, but her eyes… her eyes told so much more. It wasn't easy to read them, but Robin had been able to and he needed to know that this connection, this bond between them, was not completely severed yet. But mostly he wanted her to look at him, so that he had at least some form of contact with her, so maybe he could show her what he felt – and clearly physical contact to do so was out of the question for now.
But her attention kept being on his son or her son, but never him. She listened intently to Roland's tales and she took Roland's mug, when he was about to spill something and Robin's eyes narrowed at the movement. Her watch almost fell off her hand. Gradually his eyes wandered over her form. Her eyes were shrunken and her cheekbones stood out more prominent than before, her skin was pale, almost ashen and her clothes fit too loosely for his taste. Anger and worry fought in him. What was Regina thinking neglecting her health like that? His grip in the mug tightened to the point where his knuckles turned white.
Henry let his gaze wander from Robin to his mother and back again, and then he made a decision.
"Hey Roland, outside there's this huge tree. I always wanted to build a tree house in there. Would you like to help me plan it?"
Roland scrambled down from Regina so fast he almost met the floor in the most unfortunate of ways, but Regina held him and set him down. "In Sherwood we lived in the trees! I know how that works," he told Henry seriously.
The older boy grabbed his hand and shot his mother an apologetic glance in advance. Regina froze when the two boys disappeared into the garden. She was alone – with Robin Hood.
R&R
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