YAY! School's done with! Now I have more time to do fun stuff, like update my dusty old fanfics! I think Kenpachi would make a hilarious addition to the growing number of toturees, so here goes! Disclaimer: Bleach is under ownership of Tite Kubo
Kenpachi Zaraki:
The producers bring a large animal crate, open the door, and run away. Kenpachi steps out.
"Know
your stars, stars, stars…"
"Hm? Who the hell are you?"
"Kenpachi Zaraki…he likes bunnies and kitties."
"Yes! I do. They are so fluffy and sweet!"
"Huh? (drops to the floor laughing) Uh, OK. Um, Kenpachi Zaraki…when he was little, he dreamt of becoming a ballerina."
"Yeah, I did, but they kept telling me I didn't have a knack for it."
"?? Are you serious…geez you're even more messed up than I thought."
"Why thank you!"
"Whatever…Kenpachi Zaraki…He has a Clay Aiken shrine in his closet."
"(gasps) Do you have one too?! Isn't he just sooooo talented?!"
"…Are you gay?"
"No, but for Clay Aiken, I could be."
"Ewwww…Why does every Bleach character have some mental disorder."
Suddenly Ichigo starts waving his hand
Ichigo: "I don't!"
"Shut up Ichigo! You're a mental disorder in yourself!"
Ichigo: (slumps shoulders)
"Hmph. Anyway…Kenpachi Zaraki…he likes to paint his nails."
"But only after I get my pedicure."
"…I don't know how to feel about that…(shakes head) Kenpachi Zaraki…he was a cheerleader in high school…"
"Well, I have no idea what high school is, but I do have super-awesome cheerleading moves! Wanna see some?"
"oo Uh, no."
"You sure…?"
What's the hell's wrong with you?! You're supposed to be all murderous-psychotic, but instead, you're a prissy little fag!
"Hey! Just because I'm sensitive, like Clay Aiken, and have my nails done, doesn't mean I'm a prissy little fag…You're hurting my feelings…"
"You're not supposed to have feelings! Gawd! Kenpachi Zaraki…he kills people."
"Of course I kill people. Why would I not?"
"(blinks) Are you just agreeing with whatever I say to piss me off?"
"Of course not…I'm answering with the utmost honesty."
"Than what's wrong with this picture?!"
Suddenly, Yachiru appears
Yachiru: "It's just 'cause he's off his meds."
"What?! He's…off…his meds…What is like on his meds…"
Yachiru: "You'll see."
"..."
Ten minutes later….
"AHAHAHAHAA!! I can't wait to get into a fight so I can drink my opponent's blood!! (licks lips)"
"--; …Geez, I guess this guy's off his rocker whether he's on drugs or not…"
Yachiru: "(smiley sadistically) That's my Ken-Chan!"
"Well, I guess, now you know Kenpachi…Stay tuned for next time."
…Wow, that was bad… .