"Wait you two are literal queers!" Barney screamed angrily.
Morgan was good at thinking on his feet by now and instantly turned to Barney. "What? Reid and I aren't a fucking item! Jesus Christ! I meant going out to a club the last night we were in Quantico. I was teaching the kid a lesson in the ladies, that's how he succeeded at the bar! Tonight was just lesson two!"
Although it was a fairly decent excuse considering the amount of alcohol in each of the passengers systems, it did him no good.
"What are you talking about? Are you breaking up with me?" Reid screeched in a high pitched voice.
"No, I'm not because we were never going out!" Morgan said angrily wishing that his boyfriend wasn't so highly drugged.
"Sure we were, here I have a picture of us kissing on my phone see!" Reid said holding up his wallet.
It didn't matter that Spencer had pulled out his wallet because Elle instantly pulled his phone out of his pocket and found the picture.
After she had a good laugh and had shown the picture to everyone she put Spencer's phone back into his pocket.
"You two are so out, right now!" Barney screamed.
"That's not fucking fair!" Morgan snarled.
"Give me five great reasons why I would want one of you as a gay wingman," Barney said.
"Number one: You know that we won't rack jack you!" Morgan said.
"True, four to go!" Barney announced.
"Number two: We can still get women; you saw how they swarmed at me!" Morgan said.
"I guess . . . but you still have three more!" Barney said.
"Number three: Women will trust us and not just think we're trying to get into their pants!" Morgan said.
"Two more!" Barney said.
"Number four: We know how women think, both as profilers and as homosexuals!" Morgan said.
"I guess that could be useful," Barney said tiredly.
"And number five, last but certainly not least, we know how to respect a suit!" Morgan said with a smirk.
"As every human should! You're in!" Barney said enthusiastically.
(Mid Chapter A/N: Sorry this took so long to update, I got to here and then was super busy, but it's done now!)
"And you had better get ready for the next competition!" Barney shouted. "Tomorrow at five o'clock you guys are showing me a . . ." sparks came flying from his sleeve, "Magic show! You'd better get your tricks ready quick . . . I hope you won't be too hung over!"
The next day at about one o'clock everyone was setting up their tricks and rapidly practicing trying to perfect them on time.
Rossi was sitting in his hotel room with a paper plate, a jar of pennies, and two pieces of cardboard.
Robin was sitting in her apartment playing with a fake bloody finger.
Prentiss was sitting at a restaurant with a coffee and focused on fiddling with her spoon
Ted was sitting at his kitchen table desperately trying to get a card trick right.
Marshall was sitting on the couch with Lily; he was playing with a toothpick and his ring. She was messing around with ear buds, an iPod, scissors, and a wire.
Reid and Morgan were sitting on Reid's bed in their hotel room with a straightjacket, a watermelon, a knife, and a hundred dollar bill.
Elle already knew exactly what she was going to do and was busy working her new part-time stripping job at a strip club a block away from the hotel.
Four hours later it was time for the show, everyone was there waiting except for Morgan and Reid.
"If they don't show up in two minutes they're automatically eliminated!" Barney declared impatiently staring at his watch.
Everyone sat around fidgeting; Prentiss, Robin, and Rossi were sitting on Barney's couch. Ted, Marshall and Lily were trying to avoid making contact with anything in Barney's apartment and Elle was lying in the middle of the fur rug in front of the couch still in her stripper costume much to Barney's satisfaction.
The whole time they were waiting Barney didn't move and just continued staring at his watch. . .
"Five . . . Four . . . Three . . . Two . . . O-" Barney counted down, but was cut off when Morgan came storming in the room with Reid crutching behind him.
"Sorry we're late," Morgan said panting, "But you're elevator was broken and we had to get Reid up three flights of stairs!"
"One more millisecond and you were out, you two sure are lucky lately!" Barney said, "You know other than the knee thing," he added after Morgan glared at him.
Morgan and Reid sat down on a love-seat next to the couch.
Barney sat down in a chair and told Rossi that it was his turn.
Marshall and Lily sat on a love-seat on the other side of the couch hesitantly. As Rossi stood up, Ted stole his spot.
"Can you move?" Rossi asked Elle in a snarky voice.
"Fuck you! There're no seats left!" Elle shouted while continuing to stare at the ceiling.
"There's room on my lap!" Barney said excitedly.
After Elle had strode over to Barney Rossi began to perform his trick.
"Alright Lily can you help me with this trick?" Rossi asked.
"Sure, but I'm not lying about anything," Lily responded.
"Take a handful of pennies and carefully count them," Rossi instructed.
"Okay, there's twenty-six!" Lily responded.
"Okay drop them on this empty paper plate," Rossi said pointing towards a paper plate sitting on the coffee table.
After Lily had done as she was told Rossi began to speak, "Okay so you've all seen that I haven't touched the pennies, right?"
"Yeah," the audience responded.
"Okay so Lily hold your hands out and I'll poor the pennies back into them!" Rossi said then poured the pennies into Lily's palms and told her to re-count them.
"Thirty-seven," Lily said after she had finished counting.
The audience clapped.
"Lily you're up next!" Barney said.
As Rossi cleaned his stuff up and Lily set hers up Morgan and Reid whispered to each other.
"How'd he do that?" Morgan asked.
"He put two pieces of cardboard underneath the plate, on had a groove that held extra pennies and the other kept those pennies from falling out until tipped," Reid replied quickly.
Lily was now ready to perform her trick; the coffee table in front of her was empty.
"Alright, I'm going to need a volunteer with an iPod," Lily said.
Prentiss stood up and pulled her iPod out of her purse.
"Alright I'd like you to listen to your iPod with the ear buds in," Lily said.
After Prentiss put her ear buds in Lily pulled a pair of scissors out of her pocket and grabbed an ear bud out of Prentiss's ear. She held the cord in her left hand and cut it with her right hand.
"What the hell!" Prentiss screamed. "Who just cuts somebody's headphones?"
Without a word Lily took both ends of the cord and held them together. She made a show of putting them back together and then passed the ear bud back to Prentiss without so much as a cut mark.
Yet again the audience began to clap.
"Wow!" Morgan whispered to Reid.
"She had another piece of white wire in her hand that she replaced it with," Reid answered.
"Ted you're next," Barney said.
Ted walked up with a deck of cards and turned to Elle.
"Alright, you are going to pick a random card and look at it without showing me," Ted began. "When you put it back I will shuffle then guess your card."
Reid held back his laughter at how simple this trick was; in fact he'd already taught it to Jack.
Elle took a card from the middle of the deck and looked at it, the ace of spades.
"Alright now show everyone except for me your card!" Ted said excitedly.
After Elle had sat back down Ted began to talk again, "Now put it on the top of the deck."
After Elle did so Ted gave the deck to Reid with a wink, "Alright, you can shuffle the cards."
Reid rolled his eyes and began to shuffle.
As Ted watched Reid shuffled he came to a horrible realization. Shit, I forgot to look at the bottom card!
Reid handed the deck back to Ted who walked over to Elle and began to look through the deck for her card.
"Is this your card?" Ted asked holding up the nine of clubs.
"No," Elle responded.
"How about this one?" Ted asked holding up the queen of hearts.
"No," Elle repeated.
"This one?" Ted asked almost begging now.
"Nope," Elle said starting to get annoyed.
"What about this one?" Ted continued.
"No!" Elle yelled.
"Really?" Ted asked.
"Owwwwwww! Fuck!" Reid screamed in pain at the top of his lungs.
A/N: Sorry again for the wait, and sorry for the mid chapter author's note, lol! Please review and I'll try to update quickly. Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it. :D Reid sure has a lot of problems, right? Anyways please tell me what you thought of this chapter and if you're still interested in reading the story.