A/N: This is a long and kind of heavy chapter. This chapter was longer but i decided to split it into two. Thank you for reading and please review, both positive and negative is appreciated as long as it's constructive! Thank you!

"Spencer Hastings, in a dress, make up on, and…is that a smile I see?" Hanna teased as Spencer walked through the back door into Hanna's kitchen.

Spencer just smiled and blushed, tucking hair behind her ear. "Very funny, I know…"

"How was Nana's?"

"Uhm… really good." She smiled big.

"Okay, why are you being so creepy with the smiling?"

"Why can't I be happy?" Spencer shrugged, taking a handful of M&Ms from the bowl on the table and popping a few into her mouth, carefully separating the remaining candies by color in her palm.

"Well, first of all, this is the first time I've seen you look like a girl in, like, a month." Hanna snarled.

"Cool it," Emily intervened.

"Spencer, we're happy you're happy, whatever it is…" Aria touched her friend's forearm, and Emily nodded approvingly.

"Exactly," Emily chimed in.

"…but we'd be happier if you told us why." Aria smiled and Emily rolled her eyes.

Spencer just ate the candy in her hand and giggled.

"Well?! Are you going to spill or not?" Hanna crossed her arms over her chest impatiently as Spencer casually pulled out her books from her bag to start their work on the class project.

"Toby…" she started, her fingers instinctively going back to her necklace that Toby made for her.

"He's back?!" Aria interrupted, halfway jumping across the table to her friend.

"Well if you'd let me finish…" she laughed. "He made me this necklace and dropped it off at my house… and I went over to yell at him for leaving me and then teasing me by creeping up to my porch and leaving me a message without seeing me and the yelling kind of turning into…not yelling, and my family had already left for Nana's and they were so mad at me for not coming…so I decided if Melissa could bring Wren, I could bring my boyfriend too…" She smiled, hoping they'd caught on to her subtle wording choice to break the news.

"Oh my god, your parents must have flipped out." Emily's eyes widened.

"They did…but it was good." Spencer smiled.

"Wait…wait, wait, wait…" Hanna got flustered. "BOYFRIEND?" Hanna yelled.

Spencer bit her lip and nodded and smiled. "I love him." She said shyly.

"I called it," Emily smiled, proudly.

"Come on, let's just finish our project…" Spencer was through with the embarrassing chatter.

The girls all exchanged looks and decided a smile was the only appropriate response to her declaration of her love of Toby. They were still not 100 percent on board, but they couldn't deny the overwhelming happiness of their friend.

xx

Spencer's parents liked to be the best at everything. But if there was one thing they weren't the best at, it was being the bigger person.

They were nearly flat out ignoring her, and she didn't care at all. She went about her business, hoping to do their daily dance of avoiding one another before school/work and after dinner. But Spencer was happy, because Toby was with her now. They spent almost every day together, and that was all she needed.

Spencer got home from Toby's around 8pm. She saw her mother and father sitting at the table, drinking their cocktails, their plates emptied.

"Where were you?" Peter growled.

"Why do you care?" Spencer raised an eyebrow.

Veronica pushed a large envelope towards Spencer from across the table. "We need to talk. What the hell was this doing near the paper shredder? I nearly destroyed it."

Spencer stepped closer. It was her acceptance letter from Princeton.

She shrugged, silently hating herself for forgetting to destroy it herself. "I was just…" She exhaled, finally deciding to give up the charade. She was done with scared of her parents or their disappointments. "I don't want to go to Princeton. At all."

"Spencer Hastings what is the matter with you? You're a legacy! You belong at that school!"

"Mom, I just—" Spencer was cut off when Peter, who had been silently sipping his whiskey prior to this, slammed his hand down on the table.

"I'VE HEARD ENOUGH OF THIS. SPENCER, GO TO YOUR ROOM. YOU'RE GOING TO PRINCETON AND THAT'S FINAL. YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE TO THIS FAMILY AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CONTINUE ANOTHER MOMENT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" He yelled, slamming back what remained of his drink and promptly slamming his glass onto the table similar to how he's slammed his hand moments before.

"No! I will not go up to my room! This is my life - my decision. I really am not at all interested in going somewhere just because you all did… I have different needs and interests," She tried to stay calm.

"You're going." Peter got up, cornering Spencer against the staircase.

"No." She said, less confidently than before.

"We sent in your deposit today when we found the form. You. Are. Going. It's a done deal. Not another word about it." Peter said hastily.

"But—" Spencer started, but was interrupted by Peter's hand coming hard into contact with her cheek, effectively leaving his handprint on her face.

She stood there, her face burning red, completely shocked. He's pushed her around before, but never, ever slapped her across the face. It was a new level of disrespect.

"That school will change you. Maybe you'll finally learn some manners and some decency and be a real Hastings," Peter muttered. "You should be thankful. Is this what that dirty carpenter is teaching you? To disobey your family? To disrespect us? You think you would be anywhere without my last name?" Peter stared into her eyes and held her wrist tightly, his nails digging into her skin. Spencer looked beyond him to her mother, her eyes searching for help, but she was just clearing the table, completely disregarding the feud going on just a few feet from her.

"His name is Toby and I love him," She got brave again.

"You stupid slut," He dug harder into her wrist, pulling her from the wall and dragging her up the stairs. "You need to reevaluate some things, and learn to stop disrespecting your family name. Love is for fools, you just want to cause trouble." He dragged her into her room and practically threw her on the floor. She hit the edge of her bed, digging right into her shoulder. She tried to hold everything in but a few tears escaped, quickly falling over her cheeks. Peter looked her right in the eyes as she cried, slamming the door behind him.

I can't wait to be done with being a Hastings when I can finally get out of here.

She dialed Toby's phone number as she sat at the end of her bed, the shooting pains in her shoulder and arm enough to keep her from moving much.

"Hey," Toby answered, happy to hear her.

"Are you busy?" Spencer tried her best to sound like she wasn't crying.

"No...is everything okay?"

"I'm fine," she let out a fake laugh. "I just wanted to hear your voice before bed."

"Aw," he smiled. "What did you want to talk about? It's pretty early for bed."

"I'm tired today," she lied. "Can you just tell me a story?" She curled up on her carpet in a fetal position; she didn't even have the energy to get up into bed.

"What kind of story?" Toby questioned, like he was talking to a child.

"Whatever you want. Please just talk to me." Her eyes threatened to let out tears again. She squeezed them shut.

Toby spoke softly, telling her about his day, about her, about how their ideal future might be. He stayed on the line for a little bit after he thought she fell asleep, just to make sure. He was very soft that way.

xx

On New Year's Eve, Spencer got into another fight with her father when she let it slip she was going to a party with Toby instead of attending the Country Club formal. She picked herself up the floor only because she knew that she would be seeing her love soon.

She took a shower getting ready to attend the party at Aria's parents' cabin, and stood in her closet drying herself, looking through her closet. She dropped her towel and caught glimpse of herself in the mirror. She inspected herself more carefully. She had bags under her eyes, light reddish bruises vaguely shaped like Peter's fingers on her forearm and upper arm, she had scratches and a big black and blue on her shoulder, and her side was a dark purple color from the older bruise from Nana's. She couldn't see well, but it felt like the middle of her back was just as purple as her side. She ached to move, but the hot shower had definitely loosened her up. She sighed, knowing she couldn't wear the sexy open back dress she had wanted to impress Toby with. She settled for a short, high waisted black skirt with a long sleeved light blue shirt that matched his eyes. The top of the shirt, leading down to the front of the chest was a darker mesh and a bit see-through, so she could still be sexy and covered. She decided the few bruises on her legs from falling down could be passed off as nothing unusual, and the rest was okay. She had barely kissed Toby since this had all started, because she didn't want him to see her unclothed and bruised and battered. She knew her dad would be worse to her if Toby said something, which he would, and would also hurt Toby, which she didn't want either. It wasn't the first time her father did this, but it was a passing phase in the past. She figured this too would pass. She could suck it up, especially so close to the age of freedom.

Toby arrived and greeted her with a kiss as she slid into his passenger's seat. "Hey, you." He kissed her again. He hadn't seen her since they'd left Nana's, only spoken on the phone. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," She returned the sentiment.

The car ride was filled with mindless chatter about how fast the year had gone. They were the last couple to arrive at the cabin. Everyone was dressed up and fancy, and Aria had set up a table with bottles and bottles of champagne and wine and fancy little appetizers. They always ended up trashed and asleep before midnight on New Years', so they'd decided to do a classy, small party before they all went off to college.

Caleb and Ezra moved over on the couch to make room for Toby while they played a video game, inviting him to join in for some guy time. The men were yelling at the TV and barely paying attention to their girlfriends.

"Come on guys, we can hang out in the kitchen for a while, let these guys get this out of their systems." Aria laughed.

They all sat at the island in the kitchen. Spencer poured herself a generous glass of wine and sipped.

"Where's Paige?" She looked at Emily.

"On vacation with her parents," Emily sighed. "We skyped earlier, though. And she gets home tomorrow. So we'll just celebrate then." She smiled suggestively and Spencer laughed.

Spencer was drinking quickly as the girls talked, and was barely joining the conversation, with the exception of boozy giggles. She leaned to the side as she laughed, and Hanna pushed her back the other way to steady her. "Spencer, you're drunk. Come on, classy night, remember." Hanna took the glass away from Spencer, still steadying her from falling off the bar stool with her hand on her back.

Spencer didn't have a response for Hanna or a reaction to her drink being gone because she was too busy focusing on Hanna's hand on her bruise. She winced under Hanna's hand, trying to push Hanna away.

"Jeez, what's gotten into you?" Hanna squinted at the lanky brunette as she nearly lunged across the table and pushed her away.

"Are you okay?" Aria put a comforting hand lightly on Spencer's shoulder, only causing her to wince once again.

"Would you all stop touching me?! I'm fine!" Spencer snapped before clumsily hopping of the bar stool and snatching her drink back from Hanna, marching off into the living room. She stopped in the hallway to lean against the wall and take a few deep breaths and calm herself before going in with the guys. She sat on the arm of the couch next to where Toby was sitting and leaned into him.

"Hey champ," he smiled, seeing her boozy eyes and knowing she was tipsy at least. "Having fun?"

"I just wanted to be with you," she murmured. "You can play your game." She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder.

He just kissed her hair and went back to his game.

In the kitchen, the other girls were perplexed.

"What the hell is wrong with her? We barely see her, like, ever. And when we do she blows us off." Hanna crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well, this is her first serious relationship...love is blinding?" Aria shrugged. "She's Spencer. She gets into weird stress moments. She'll be okay."

"I just wish we knew what was wrong." Em sighed.

"Well tonight we just need to have a good time," Hanna said, pouring herself a glass of wine. The three girls remained in the kitchen and drank and chatted, mostly gossiping about Toby and Spencer's relationship.

The other girls came in and re-joined the group around 11:45, when the guys had turned off their games and put on the Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve special to watch the ball drop at midnight.

The ball dropped, the couples kissed and the friends shared hugs. They toasted with champagne, played board games, and laughed the night away.

The cabin had only two bedrooms, so Aria had put up curtains with Ezra's help between the beds in each room (each room had 2 beds) so that each couple could have their privacy when they stayed overnight.

Emily decided that since it was Aria's cabin, she should have some privacy with Ezra, and so she could sleep on the couch. Honestly, it was less about respect for Aria and more about being too drunk and tired to walk upstairs to bed.

That left Hanna and Caleb to share a room with Toby and Spencer.

Caleb and Hanna were kissing most of the night, of course. Spencer and Toby just laid together for a while, cuddling. She had changed into a shirt of his that he had let her borrow months ago and she refused to give back. It was long sleeved and long enough that it covered her butt like a short nightgown.

"I had fun tonight with the guys. Thank you for inviting me," he gave her an eskimo kiss before pressing his lips into a real kiss.

"I'm glad," she leaned into him, grunting softly as she moved and everything ached.

"Come here," he pulled her close, sliding his hands under her shirt and rubbing her back. She let out a noise in pain, but he confused it with one of pleasure since the soft moans sounded so similar, and they were both a bit tipsy. She bit her lip, wanting so badly to enjoy it.

"I love you," he nuzzled her neck, kissing her neck and jaw, sucking on all the spots he knew made her weak.

"Hmmmmm," she moaned. The kissing made the pain much more tolerable. He rolled on top of her and continued to kiss her and explore under her top. She would wince once in a while as he hit a bruise and pain jolted through her body, but mostly was able to enjoy the moment. He went to pull off her shirt after some time kissing, but she stopped him, not wanting him to see the bruises. "Just in case they can see through the curtain. Hanna's nosey," she whispered, making up an excuse.

"Do you want to stop?" He caressed her leg.

"No..." she leaned up to kiss him. He returned to his position on top of her and kissed her once more, everywhere his lips could reach. He flipped them, grabbing her by the hips. "Owwww," she let out uncontrollably as he squeezed at her hips.

"Are you-" He went to check on her, but she interjected. "I'm fine unless I say I'm not, I'm just sore." She lied.

He nodded as she leaned back down to kiss him, still squeezing at her hips as he guided her over his manhood and let her gyrate against him, much like she'd tried to do the night of the dance-a-thon, but he was too scared to let her. Now, he wanted her. She kept grunting and gasping in pain as he pushed and prodded at her sides, but tried to assure him it was good. Eventually all the rubbing actually ended up being good, and he finished, and shortly after pushed his fingers up under her shirt and underwear to make her finish, too. She tried to be as quiet as she could with Hanna on the other side of the thin curtain with Caleb, but Spencer was sure they were doing the same thing, so cared a little less.

She'd obviously let him touch her before, but she'd never made him - or any other guy - finish. She liked the power of being able to and the feeling of satisfaction. She wished she could have let them have actually had sex that night, but she couldn't do anything with him until her bruises were healed. It was too risky. He sat at the end of the bed and grabbed some tissues to clean everything up, offering her one, knowing he'd probably gotten something on her.

"Sorry," he whispered, laughing in her ear at the situation.

"It was my pleasure," she kissed his cheek. "Next time they'll be less to clean up," she bit her lip, implying that next time she wanted the real thing. He kissed her head and pulled her close in response, mumbling notions of love and lust before quickly falling asleep, Spencer stayed up a bit and popped some advil before also dozing off.

xx

On the other side of the curtain, Hanna stopped dead in her tracks as she kissed up and down Caleb's torso. "I think we might be hearing Spencer lose her V..." Hanna laughed, nibbling at Caleb's ear.

Caleb smirked. "Try and give her some privacy then." He shrugged.

But then she heard the grunts. "Wait, that doesn't sound good."

"Some people are aggressive, Han. Come on, focus on us." He kissed the back of her shoulder.

"She's been weird all night. I don't like this."

"Han, it's their business." Caleb pouted, wanting to be doing whatever it was Toby was getting to do right then.

"Hanna insisted on being nosey and trying to listen before fully turning her attention to Caleb.

xx

The next morning, Hanna, Caleb, Aria and Emily were all in the kitchen. Ezra left earlier to get to Hollis to work on the syllabus for classes that were starting in only a week before the staff meeting the following day. Spencer was in the shower, and Toby was still asleep.

"Guys, I think something is wrong with Spencer," Hanna whispered as the girls gathered around the table, hoping to avoid Caleb jumping into the conversation. He was annoyed at Hanna for spying on Spencer and Toby instead of focusing on their own relationship.

"You mean her attitude last night? I'm sure she'll get over it." Aria sipped her coffee.

"No, more than that." She sighed.

"Would you stop gossiping about what you may or may not have been creepily listening to last night?" Caleb stood next to his girlfriend with a bowl of cereal, taking large bites.

"What did you hear?" Emily looked between Caleb and Hanna.

"I thin-" Hanna was cut off by Caleb. "She insisted on listening to Toby and Spencer last night to see if they were having sex because she thought the appropriate response to your best friend losing her virginity across the room from you would be to listen."

"Hanna!" Emily yelled.

"You have got to be kidding me," Aria smirked a little, taking another large sip of coffee.

"Caleb! Don't you have to be getting to your moms?" She narrowed her eyes.

"I'm going, I'm going. But take it easy on the girl." He laughed, taking the last big bite of cereal before putting his bowl in the sink. "Spencer's not really girls-gone-wild. She's going to be embarrassed if she realizes she was drunk and loud and we heard her."

"I know." Hanna made a face at him. He kissed her and said his goodbyes and left.

"She was that loud?" Aria laughed, trying to imagine her high-strung friend being anything but a high-strung Hastings.

"I think Toby was hurting her or forcing her." Hanna blurted out.

"WHAT?!" Emily and Aria said in unison.

"It makes sense, okay."

"Hanna, you must have heard wrong."

"She was grunting and making lots of...not so fun noises."

"Everyone sounds different," Emily blushed at the thought and the conversation in general.

"Yeah, maybe she's crazier than we thought," Aria tried to laugh. "I don't think that's enough for you to say something like that. That's not something to be taken lightly."

"No, guys, just listen to me. She was jumping around when we were trying to comfort her last night and snapped at us, she was wincing when we touched her and yelled at us not to touch her anymore, and then the noises.."

"She was just drunk and didn't want you telling her what to do. Classic Spencer." Aria said.

Hanna scoffed. "And you still don't know those noises were bad." Aria added.

"I do!"

"How could you possibly know what noises are good and bad through a curtain, and when they're not your own?" Emily narrowed her eyes.

"Because we heard the real thing, the good kind...later on." Hanna half blushed, half smirked.

"Awkward..." Emily took a sip of her tea.

"Tell me about it." Hanna took a bite of a muffin.

"Maybe it really was her first time and she was just uncomfortable," Aria suggested.

"It just doesn't seem right to me. We never trusted that To-" Hanna was yelling, but stopped when Spencer and Toby entered the room.

"Morning," Spencer smiled, she was holding Toby's hand.

"Thanks for everything, Aria." Toby added and kissed Spencer. "I'll leave you girls to it. I have to head to the site." Toby grabbed his jacket from the hook on the wall. "I'll call you later Spence," he left out the back door and Spencer joined them at the table, pouring herself coffee. She felt all eyes on her.

"What?!" She looked at her friends.

"Are things really okay with Toby? No problems...?" Aria said while looking at Hanna, warning her not to snap.

"They're really great. Why?"

"Just curious. You know if you need anything we're here for you, right?" Aria said.

"100 percent," Hanna chimed in.

"Always," Emily finished.

"What has gotten into you guys?" She poured a drop of milk into her coffee and took a long sip. Hanna made a face. It always freaked her out Spencer could take her coffee without sugar.

"Just curious. I mean we were in the same room last night so I was just wondering if your side was similar to my side," Hanna realized her statement was confusing halfway through saying it, but let it happen anyway.

"I mean...I don't really know what you're asking me but everything's good." Spencer shrugged. "Let's not talk about boyfriends or college or anything the rest of the day. Okay? Can we just hang out like old times? Watch a movie, maybe?" Spencer suggested. "Our lives have gotten so complicated and I just need a break."

"Sure," Aria cooed, and the girls all exchanged looks. They wondered if this was a cry for help, and so went along with whatever she said - Except Emily, who left soon to be with Paige.

The girls barely spoke about anything deeper than what shade of lipstick suited each girl's skin tone best the rest of the day. Aria and Hanna stayed suspicious, but Aria convinced Hanna that they needed more proof before accusing Toby or abusing their friend.

xx

A few weeks had gone by, and Spencer was not backing down in seeing Toby, even if it was against her parents' will. She constantly paid the price for it, along with her other comments - about Princeton, about not wanting to be a lawyer; the list went on. Spencer made a habit of calling Toby when her father hurt her, which had also become all too common. He had no idea.

When they'd been hanging out, she'd been less physical with him, and less intimate all together. She was in pain and didn't want to expose the bruises under her clothes.

They were hanging out and she kept moving uncomfortably, writhing around on his couch like she couldn't get comfortable.

"What's wrong?" He rubbed her knee.

"My back just hurts." She sighed.

"Let me give you a massage," Toby offered. He was feeling distance grow between them and he wanted to close that gap. Because they were always all over each other, and this didn't seem particularly intimate or intrusive, he didn't wait for a response before moving her shirt a bit out of the way of the spot she had been rubbing and she jumped away. But not before he saw a big purple bruise.

"That's not the same bruise from Christmas, is it?" His eyes narrowed.

She pulled away quickly and stood. "I forgot I have to meet Hanna," she grabbed her jacket.

"Spencer!" He called after her, but she ran out and kept running.

xx

To Toby, this was the last straw. She was constantly calling him in the middle of the night, which he was thankful for the interruption from his nightmares, but he knew she never just wanted to hear him - he knew she was upset. He didn't press it, but she was pulling away, and now this - he needed to figure out what was going on.

He got in his car and did something he wouldn't have ever done - he went to Hanna's to fetch her.

He knocked on the door and Hanna answered, closing the door behind her to join him outside.

"I'm here for Spencer." He looked behind her into the window.

"She isn't here."

"Please, I know girls lie for each other but I really need her,"

"She's not here, really. But even if she was, I wouldn't let you in." Hanna grumbled. "You should leave her alone."

"Did she say anything to you?" His face drooped, he wondered if he had done something wrong that he didn't realize.

"She didn't have to!" Hanna snapped. "I heard her in pain on New Years when you were touching her. And she's out of nowhere extremely sensitive to touching. If you're looking for a punching bag join a gym!"

"The bruises..." he mumbled.

"I don't want to know what kind of bruises she has. You need to stop! She doesn't deserve to be pushed around by some kind of...Monster!"

"Hanna, calm down." His words came out slow. He felt like he'd been hit in the chest that Hanna called him a monster, but also hurt that Spencer could really be hurting. He tried quickly to get all of the pieces together in his head.

"Why, do you can hit me too?!"

"I didn't...I would never, ever hurt her..." his eyes started to well up a bit. "How could I not have realized something was so wrong..."

When Hanna saw his tears, she started to believe him. She was compassionate and didn't want to think they were crocodile tears. "You really...it wasn't you?"

"No... I need to find her. Do you have any idea where she might be? She told me she was going to your house."

"Try the lake,"

"But it's so cold!"

"She likes the water," Hanna sighed. She went back inside and Toby lingered before going to the car, but Hanna ran back out in her coat and hat. "Wait...I'm coming." She hopped in the car. That way, if he was lying, she could call the cops and protect Spencer. And if he wasn't, she could help him help her.

They arrived and saw a shivering Spencer sitting at the end of the dock. Hanna sat on one side of her, and Toby on the other. Spencer didn't say anything.

"Spencer...how long?" Hanna very very lightly put her hand on Spencer's knee.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Spencer said softly. Hanna looked up at Toby, begging him to give them a moment. Toby understood and got up and lingered behind the girls, far enough away so he couldn't hear.

"If Toby is hurting you... it's okay to love him, you can't control that...but if he's hurting you, you're allowed to leave. Sometimes leaving is best, even when you love someone..." Hanna tried to get her friend to make eye contact.

"It's not Toby," Spencer said bluntly. "He loves me more than anyone else ever has."

"Then what's going on?" Hanna said. "Don't lie to me."

"My dad paid my Princeton deposit after I begged my parents to let me go anywhere else in the world..."

"Spencer... come on. Talk to me."

"I know I'm a Hastings and I'm supposed to want to go tot he best school but I really, really don't. I need a different experience. I'm almost 18 and I feel like I've barely lived."

"Spence... the bruises. I'm not leaving until you tell me why you wince when I hug you. Really, if it's Toby, you're safe now. I'll call the cops right now and they'll make sure you're safe."

"It's not him!" She yelled this time, causing Toby to look over.

For the first time in a long time, Hanna saw her strongest friend cry. Hard. She was shaking and threw herself into Hanna's arms. "My dad hates Toby and hates my decisions and wants me to be someone I'm not," she sobbed. Toby was walking a bit closer, trying to inch his way to comforting his sobbing girlfriend. "He says I don't deserve his name, and if I don't start to live up to it he'll kill me." She sniffled. "Please don't tell anybody..." she tried to catch her breath.

Hanna was speechless, but Toby knew exactly what to do. He jumped in his car and sped off to Spencer's house. He was going to end this once and for all.