Author: sorry took sooo long to update! I was SOOOO unbeleivably busy. Oh yeahs, I don't own nothin' but my gun

guuuunnn.... (hugs gun)

but the fic's not dead, I promise.

Serena: O...k....

aaaannnddd go!

"Last time, on Sailor moon, Ron read my DIARY! And that's all that matters because Ima get him back next chapter. In the name of the moon, I will punish him!"

(cut to sugar-high author singing intro-again) 0.o

Duh-duhduh-duhduh-duhduh-duhduh-duh-duh-duh-DUH!

Fighting evil by moonlight,

Winning love by daylight,

Never running from a real fight!

She is the one named Meatball Head!

She will never turn her back on a friend,

She is always there to pretend

She is the one on whom we can depend!

She is the one named Meatball Head!

She is the one named Meatball Head!

She is the one- Sailor-blonde!

...

Serena: (foaming at the mouth)

Hermione: "Wow. I'm proud of you. You didn't interupt her once!"

Serena: "GO CHOKE ON A (sensor) AND DIE, YOU STUPID (sensor)ING B-"

(cuts to commercial)

"Are you depressed? Well, you'll soon find YOUR groove with our new product: crack! symptems: may cause-"

(I fast-forward with Ti-vo and giggle.)

(random picture of sailor moon with her princess dress on at Hogwarts with the name of the fan-fiction written in pink and gold cursive letters flashes on the screen, playing a short, piano version of the sailor moon theme song before a spinney, shiny, moon-logo thing erases it and it resumes your normal programming)

Serena woke up the next morning to find that Hotaru had gone missing.

"Oh noes!!!" she cried, waking everybody else up.

She ran over to Hotaru's bed to find a note that read:

Cho chibichibi chi chibi chibi Chibi-chibi bi chibchibi chibi chibichibichibi chibi, chi chibi chibi bi. Chibi chib,cho chibibi chibi. Cho chibi chi chibichibi chibi bi Chib-chibi-chan chibi chibi. C.B.: Chibi-chibi bi chibi.

-chibi

"oh noes!" she cried again.

"what does it say?!?!?!" Mina asked, worried."read it out loud."

"okays! it says,

'I've decided to leave and give chibi-chibi my bed. I haven't been murdered or bound and gagged and locked in a closet at all, so don't come looking for me. In fact, I've commited suicide. I've left my belongings behind and Chibi-Chibi-chan can have them. P.S: Chibi-Chibi is awesome.

-Hotaru'

"She even wrote it in chibi talk so no one else could understand!"

"...

"but saturn doesn't even know chibi-talk..." Rei pointed out.

"DON'T YOU SEE??? That just means she's been planning this long enough to learn chibi-talk for it. Oh it's all your fault!! You should have seen the signs!!!!"

"Ok, 1) that makes no sense. and 2) It's MY FAULT?!?! You're Chibi-chibi's MOTHER!!!! YOU should've prevented her from murdering someone! Speaking of, how the hell did Naoko Takeuchi make you, a 15 year old girl, have two kids without coming off as a slut??? I mean REALLY?"

suddenly the background behind Serena became flames instead of the room. "I HAD THEM IN THE FUTURE WITH MAMO-CHAN!! REI, YOU MEANY!!!!!! I hate you, hate you, hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed back. "Besides, are you suggesting that Chibi-chibi killed her? It clearly says in the letter that she killed herself! Chibi-chibi's just an innocent little girl!!"

(camera zooms in on chibi chibi, who quickly hides the knife she was just sharpening)

"Chibi!" she yelled cutely.

0.o

Mina quickly inched away.

(later, at lunch)

Harry stopped staring at Serena for a second and acted like he just noticed something. "Hey, where's the purple one?" He asked, confused. Serena looked confused for a minute."I don't remember" she said, shrugging. "Oh well, I'm bored. Hey, why were you staring at me again?" "...I... wasn't.... it was all an illusion!!! wooooo!!!" he said an a demented voice. She stared for a second and shrugged again. "whatever, I'm done eating. I gotta go get into trouble like all good heroines do!"

"Did I hear trouble?", Draco suddenly popped up."My middle name is trouble!"

"Draco Trouble Malfoy?" Ron laughed, "could you get any more lame?"

"shuddup. As I was saying, I'm CLEARLY the villian of the parts of the story that happen at Hogwarts. So what would make you MORE in-trouble and in-need-of-rescue than to go on a date with me? Think of the plot!!!"

Serena thought for a moment. "What?"

Draco let out an aggravated sigh. "I mean, you're so cute! let's go on a date!" Serena shrugged. "Ok! let's go!"

and the rest of the scene went alittle something like this:

Harry: WTF???

Mina and Pansy: NO!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!!!

Rei: ...(sweatdrop)

Ron: Well, it makes sense. She's not supposed to be with the hero at this part of the story. She's supposed to fall in love with the atagonist's fake charm and make a dramatic decision of who to be with at the end. beside, this is a crackfic. She can end up with anybody. the readers just have to vote in the Author's new poll on her profile... (hint, hint)

Mina: I could care less who Serena ends up with!!! SOMEBODY LOVE ME, DAMMIT!!! YOU!-(points to Harry) SAY YOU LOVE ME!

Harry: Oh God, no!(runs away)

Mina: (chases after him)..

Harry(in the distance): I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULT!

Rei: 0.o

Ron: How come you never chase me like that, Hermione?

Hermione:...

Neville and Luna: (making out)

...

Author: well, I'm sure as heck not writing anymore tonight. R&R. I'm going to start updating this at least once a week so get your ideas in in the next few days or they won't be used. MoonGirl: out. (drops mike and walks off stage)

Mike (from Twilight): OW! where's Bella? Beeeeellllllllllllllllllaaaaaa?????????????