Chapter 11: the ultimate act

"I need your help, Yugi."

"I'll give you the night of your life."

"You need to let go, Yugi, your stepfather is gone!"

"Promise me you won't tell your mother."

"I'm taking the kids with me."

"I love you."

I love you too. Why couldn't he tell Atemu? What was wrong with him that he couldn't answer back the love that he deserved? Everything hurt. His body, his eyes, his head, his heart, everything. Yugi couldn't sleep. Every sentence of every conversation he had shared was whispered over and over in his head, but his thoughts always came back to those three words Atemu had whispered on the last night of their happiness. Then, the real problems had started, then everything had only gotten worse. Was it because Yugi wasn't allowed to be loved? Was he so cursed that something bad needed to happen after something good had?

If he would leave, Atemu could move on with his life. Yeah, he could, if he wanted to, return to his normal life before he had met Yugi. He could go back to being a father of kids that he loved, rebuild his company perhaps, make good money to pay off college for his kids. Everything would be so easy for him if Yugi wouldn't be there. Why did he stay with him? It didn't make sense. What did Yugi have, that he decided to give up everything for a relationship failing so hard that it was beyond repairs.

Yugi's hands blinked away newly-shed tears in his eyes, nuzzling deeper in the blanket that he had wrapped around him. Looking behind him, he saw Atemu still restlessly sleeping in bed. The man had tried to stay awake as long as possible to comfort Yugi in his crying fit, but was too exhausted and succumbed into a deep and yet also troubled slumber. Yugi was alright with it, he had appreciated the attempt of staying awake with him, but he could use some time alone to overthink what had happened until now. He had thought about it a long time, but the truth was he always saw one escape, and he wasn't sure if he could do it.

The blanket draped over the floor as it was casted aside by the owner whom began tramping around the room searching for his shoes. He put them on along with his coat and a thick scarf. On the coffee table, he placed the spare keys of the apartment Atemu had given him about a month ago. He figured that perhaps he wouldn't need them anymore. Then he steadily closed the door behind him and walked himself out.

It was still cold and dark outside, after all it was about 5 a.m. There were few people walking the streets, and those who did were early birds leaving for work to beat traffic. He crossed a young couple returning from a late night of partying, kissing in the alley. As they were making out, Yugi watched intently from across the road until the guy looked up and glared back challengingly. Then he continued his walking to an unknown destination before the first sun began to rise. As it did so, the idea suddenly popped up where he would head to, so he changed course and stopped at Domino bridge. From there, he gazed at the sunrise as he thought back about his mother who used to take him here to watch the sunset. It wasn't a romantic sunrise at the beach or the park, but from up here it was the best view the city could offer. The sunbeams always reflected in the water and painted a colourful pallet of glistening lights. Whenever he couldn't sleep when he was younger, his mom always walked him to the bridge, and then they sat by the side for an hour waiting until the sun had risen above the water while she told all kinds of stories.

Yugi smiled sincerely. The same colouring lights flew above the water, and they made him feel warm. As his thoughts wandered away, he looked down to see a part of the water where there was no colour nor lights, just a thick mass of dark water that waved wildly against the pillars holding up the bridge.

If I jump now, would I survive?

He wouldn't. People had done it before and they always died. It was a deep jump down and the water felt like a concrete wall once you'd try to jump in it from up here. He'd die if he'd jump, and it wouldn't bother anyone. It was better then jumping in front of a train and cause traffic, or commit suicide by shooting yourself and leaving behind unwashable stains of blood on the carpet. No, this method was quite immaculate and wouldn't bother anyone.

"Hye there!"

Pulled away from his thoughts, Yugi saw a broad, rough-appearing man across the railings, waving at him from afar, walking closer but stopped a few feet away. He looked in his late fourties and was covered in tattoos with black hair and a rough beard.

"I'm Tarou, what's your name?"

Yugi just stared back at him without spilling a word. His tongue was swallowed as if he couldn't talk, but he didn't understand why. Secretly, he was kind of happy that a stranger had taken the leisure of pulling over his car to stop him from committing suicide, and yet he didn't really know what to think of it. Why would this man care anyway?

"How old are you?" He continued even if his previous question hadn't received an answer yet.

"Seventeen."

"Seventeen huh. I've got a son that age."

The man smiled, but in a wry way, but Yugi appreciated the attempt. He couldn't help but feel happy as this man was talking to him, even though he asked questions like what is your favourite dish or if he had pets. And yet he was weary, because if this stranger would get closer with just one step, he'd jump.

Atemu woke up early in the morning from the first glistening sunlight peaking through undrawn curtains. The beam coaxed him into opening his eyes, even if he wasn't ready to wake yet and still extremely tired from all the emotional distress as of late. The last week had weighed down on him, and he could sleep all day if his mind wouldn't keep him from it. As he rolled over, eyes still closed, he groped to find a heat source, but he found none. Even with sleep still cloaking his thoughts, his eyes suddenly shot open dramatically, searching for a person that wasn't there. In the process of realizing that Yugi wasn't present he felt his heart rate increase second by second. Hastily, he stood up to swing open one door after another in the hopes of finding Yugi in any other room than the one he was present in, but the whole apartment was empty.

"Shit," Atemu cursed, his body trembling in panic. "Shit shit shit!"

In a frantic maneuver, he grabbed his coat and car keys, hurried outside without closing the door and ran to his car, riding as fast as he could, twice not stopping for a red light, almost running over a man and breaking the law in many other ways he would've never done before. He pulled over his car, not bothering to park in the lot, and dragged himself towards the door of the gaming shop to knock it boisterously, almost slamming the door until finally, someone opened it, but he had hoped it would've been someone else.

"Do you know what time – Atemu?"

As much as it surprised Atemu the old man remembered his name, he led himself in and walked passed Yugi's grandpa to see if Yugi was inside. "Please tell me Yugi's here."

"I though he was with you?"

The panic growing in Atemu's eyes made Solomon restless, even if his body was still in an inactive state of having been woken up so irascibly. It was in only a matter of seconds that the old man sensed something was wrong and reached for his shoes and cloak. "I'm coming with you."

For a man his age, Solomon was surprisingly quick to get in the car next to Atemu. His body went astern due to the sudden speed with which the car raced off to the city. They narrowly escaped a few close accidents while driving at incredulous speed through the streets, and yet none of them knew exactly where to. All Atemu could think was how disastrous today's events could turn out to be if they wouldn't figure out soon where Yugi could've run off to. His face was frowned in a permanent fright that made his head too numb to drive in such a way it was dangerous for him to be steering. As he drove left or right, leaving skid marks at every corner, Solomon held on tight to his safety belt to maintain his seat. His plump eyes looked about, searching for his grandson but all he saw was the dawdling rising of the sun.

"That's it!" As if a light bulb finally turned on above his head, he suddenly knew where his grandson would be. "Domino Bridge!"

As soon as the newly settled location was shared between the two man, Atemu grew more anxious to find Yugi. Even if he was relieved to have figured out the possible location, the fact still remained that a hurting teenager and the largest bridge in the city could not settle on something positive. He punched the gas pedal more severely than before to braze through the busy city streets, going about 60 miles per hour in a twenty mile zone. He could care less about the multiple tickets he'd have to pay off after all this.

When they arrived at their destination, Atemu's fear grew thicker as he saw the fences blocking any access to the bridge, but instead of slowing down to get out and make their way on foot, he increased his speed and settled in his leather chair, eyes glaring at the fences in front of him that grew bigger every second. Solomon looked over at him, a worried frown turning into terror as he realized Atemu wasn't about to stop.

The Egyptian drove right through the fences, one of them rolling over the car and almost breaking the front window of the car. It crashed behind them on the ground after toppling over a few more times and ending up a few feet behind. Next to him, he heard Solomon gasp something about being too old for this before he pulled up once more to drive to the source of the diversion. Two police cars, an ambulance and several costumed people stood about centered towards one spot in particular near the edge of the bridge. A few guards came toward them but let them pass after Solomon proclaimed they were probably family of the victim, even if he secretly hoped it was not the case. Already ahead, Atemu wriggled his way through the crowds but stopped frantically when he finally beheld the sight in front of him of what appeared to be the one he loved leaning closer over the edge of the bridge, ready to jump at any given moment. He gasped painfully and his eyes widened considerably, reaching for his lungs that failed to draw in air while looking in front of him with shaking eyes. Yugi's grandpa caught up to him and had about the same reaction as Atemu, seeing his grandson standing far away from him surrounded by strangers that were trying to stop him.

As Yugi's back was aimed towards the people on the bridge, his eyes searched for answers in the lights of the water he admired so much. It was as if his mother was calling out to him and telling him to join him in a calm death that would put an end to all the suffering, but he knew more than anyone something was holding him back, or rather someone. He had decided to shut out the words of the psychologist whom had rushed down here with a paramedical team that had been called by Tarou. Before they had arrived, Tarou and him had shared a few small conversations over the crash barrier that Yugi had actually enjoyed. He had told him about his favourite toys when he was little, about his pet cat that had died when he was eight, and so on, and Tarou returned those stories with memories of his son when he was younger. But then they were disturbed by the agitating sounds of the ambulance, and Tarou was replaced by a 'professional' that Yugi enjoyed talking with about half as much. He could reek the tricks behind her words that would coax him into safety, and as much as he appreciated the effort it had but little personality attached to it. The only person that stopped him from jumping now was Atemu, but Atemu wasn't here, and he probably wouldn't see him anymore before he'd die. It is how he had chosen it to be, after all it was always easier to leave without saying goodbye.

"Yugi!"

Yugi chuckled. It was funny, he would've never imagined to hear Atemu's voice in his last minute of living. It sounded so real, as if he was really there.

"Yugi!"

The said person's mouth dropped open and his eyes snapped away from the alluring view of the colourful lights in the water. He looked back with moist eyes, seeing a glimpse of the only man he had ever truly loved running towards him at incredible speed. At first he wouldn't acknowledge it, it seemed impossible to be true, but it wasn't. The person he saw was truly there, the knight in shining armour, the only man with the power to stop him from committing the ultimate crime.

"Yugi!" He yelled out his lungs to receive the acknowledgment of gorgeous violet. As he ran towards Yugi, a man stopped him by blocking his way with his arm. Atemu wanted to push the man aside, but from far away, he heard the prostrate words of his lover echoing back at him.

"Don't Atemu! If you come any closer, I swear I'll jump!"

How could he say that? Could he not see the hurt those words inflicted upon Atemu? And yet Yugi looked away instead of drowning once more in those gorgeous, painfully red eyes. Afraid that, if he would look too long he would recoil and fall in love over an over again only to regret it afterwards. No, he didn't want to live like this anymore, he didn't want to put anyone through anymore suffering. Not his grandfather, not the man he loved, but above all, not himself. He was tired, he had been for so long, and he was sick of fighting. If ending it could be this easy, why not just do it. If all it took was for him to take one more step toward the water, what was he waiting for? Why did it hurt so much? What was holding him back? Do it. Just do it already!

"You don't have to do this, Yugi!" His grandfather yelled with a hoarse voice. So he was here too? With Atemu? How ridiculous. What did they think was going to happen when they would arrive here? That Yugi would suddenly stop and turn around to greet them with a smile? No, he had made up his mind, this was for the best. Years of ungratefulness towards his grandpa would be rewarded with alas, peace once Yugi would be no more there. His grandfather wouldn't have to worry day in and day out if Yugi would return tonight or not, he wouldn't have to stay up all night to ensure nothing bad had happened to him. He wouldn't have to close his eyes and pretend to look away, knowing what Yugi was doing behind his back but unable to stop him if he would try. He had to do this, he'd give back lives. Two lives in the exchange of one, it was a nice exchange.

"Yugi!"

The view through which the student's eyes watched became blurry due to the many tears. He didn't know why, but he looked back one more time to see the agony in which Atemu was engulfed. There was something in his voice that drew his attention, that made his last words sound important and coaxed Yugi into listening. He saw, through the haziness of his crying, the relief in Atemu's expression when Yugi looked back at him, but he couldn't understand why. He'd be happier if Yugi would be gone, perhaps able to move on with his life in a healthier way than before.

"I promised you we'd fix this! I'm not giving up on you!"

What was he saying? And how? He almost sounded... determined. But, if perhaps there was a chance to fix this, could Yugi take it? With the chance so small that it would succeed, but still a hope so profound it kept lingering at the back of his head. Yugi felt his hands trembling and his knees shaking. While he had been so resolute before to jump if Atemu would come any closer, he saw those walls collapse around him with every careful step Atemu took towards him. Every step closer felt like a day closer to happiness, Yugi wanted to give in and turn around. He was scared, scared to jump now. Atemu spread his arms as if he was waiting, waiting for Yugi to return to him and begin their first treatment toward recovery.

"Come back, Yugi!" he yelled one last time, words weakening from the deprived state he was in, and yet so, so determined to hold his lover once more. "Please..."

That last word had sounded so broken, Yugi thought. The colours in the sea had somehow lost their mesmerizing effect on him, they just looked plain now. They didn't glisten anymore like they used to when he came here with his mother. All he saw now was a black hole of unreturning promises that didn't look appealing anymore. He didn't want to be here anymore, as he looked to and fro between the choice of death or life. Those strong arms was what he truly longed for, even if it was the more selfish choice of the two. They just looked so much more inviting than the cold water below him.

"I..." Yugi whispered to himself, watching the storming sea below him, "I don't - " His sentence stopped half-way to look back at that gorgeous tanned man he had met so long ago. "I wanna get off." He spoke. Only a few steps later, Atemu was there to catch Yugi in his arms and drag him over the safety railings. As he did so, both men dropped on their knees and Atemu took him in the arms to never let him go again. Uncontrollable tears rolled down his cheeks and soaked up in Yugi's clothing. Even if he didn't return Atemu's embrace, he wouldn't regret a moment in his life ahead which path he had chosen. His shaking hand clamped the cloak Atemu was wearing to draw it closer, and he buried his face in his inviting chest to join him in cries of both relief and pain. Lost in the intimacy of the moment, he barely noticed the multiple people around them coming closer. All he felt were the arms of his grandfather lovingly caressing his back and whispering words he couldn't understand, completely anesthetized by the touches of his lover. This, this felt right. For the first time, he knew he had made the correct decision, or at least the one with the best outcome. Even if he couldn't interpret the words of his grandpa, he knew they were whispers of love and caring. Even if he barely felt the touches of Atemu's hands, he knew they felt silk and warm on his skin. As Atemu cupped his face with his hands to tell him how much he loved him, Yugi could only stare back at those beautiful crimson eyes. When again had he fallen so hard? To think that it would've ever come to this. To think that, if they would've never met, he would've jumped without hesitation. Maybe for once faith had brought them together on purpose without the intention of pushing Yugi deeper in his pit of darkness. Maybe Atemu was destined to help him out the same way he had spread his arms to welcome him back to life.

And just maybe, they could fix this.

I know it's a short chapter, but I liked the closure it provided before continuing the story more fast-forwardly. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Not because I'm a sadist that likes to talk about suicide, but I felt like the dark thoughts Yugi had in his mind were cross and provided a clear idea of how struggling it can be to decide upon the best thing in life. And I think Yugi's doubts gave a descriptive explanation to that.

I actually wrote this chappy a while ago, but was a bit nervous to upload it, so... let me know what you think