-Sasuke-
I have sensitive skin after shaving. I wash my face and immediately put on moisturized afterward. Aftershave does nothing and it smells bad. So do most colognes. The cologne I wear for concerts is the only one I like. I digress. I have been here for months and am trying to find work again. Today is another day. I have been clean for almost four months. My family is helping me out with money. My dad and I are talking sometimes, but I talk to my mom and Itachi way more often. We all want me to get another job. A job. It has been awhile.
I am dressed nicely at six in the morning in another attempt to find a job. I have a criminal record and I never went to college. Is, I have a criminal record –so- I never went to college, more accurate? Fuck. In my old city, there were no job prospects. There were tons of drug addicts. It doesn't feel like it's so long in the past. Now, I wait for the 73 to take me downtown in the hopes of first locating, then applying at, a temp agency. Beneath the street lights, a pile glitters and crunches. Broken glass! In that moment, I am back in my old city. I look down in dread—I am poor all over again—and see that it is a pile of leaves. I am in a new city now and my parents are helping, I am reminded. It was a flashback. Just for a moment. But the memories are with me. It was rainwater glittering on the leaves.
Hours later, I storm home. It always ends this way. To make matters worse, I have to piss in a cup tonight to prove I'm not doing drugs. It's so I can stay here. I wish it were otherwise. Are the other guys used to it? My roommates look up from their breakfast, concerned. I forgot that downtown is a vortex I get lost in. If you're not a local, you won't know where you are. It's always on the other side of the freeway—any destination. Nahum sets his fork down. "I remember my first time getting lost there. I was with my best friend. We were exhausted when we finally asked for help an hour later. It was pouring and nearly freezing out. 'That's on the other side of the freeway,' a sympathetic cop told us. We just looked at each other, then thanked him. We had no idea how to get there by bus, so we just went home. When I got my license and a car, I drove downtown to all the placed I'd tried to find by bus. So, change your clothes—oh, you don't need to—and I'll drive you to this temp agency."
"Okay," I mutter, thankful, guilty and surprised. It is still no big deal for my roommates to drive me anywhere. The temp agency people are very polite. I need to apply online and they'll call me for an interview. It was nice meeting me and they look forward to seeing me soon. Nahum laughs a little at how it all took less than five minutes. "There's a birthday meeting tonight. Naruto's secretary. He was asked at the last minute. There'll be pizza and cake." Ooh, pizza. And honestly…ooh, Naruto (but he's my roommate!). "You're on."
Naruto bounces around eagerly at the meeting. Someone checks him out. A girl. Naruto doesn't notice. Naruto had two pieces of cake and declares I should have one. I'm on my second slice of pizza. I shrug and take a piece of cake. "Come to the birthday meetings!" he shouts to the moderately-filled room. "You can have sugar! Sugar, sugar, pizza and more delicious cake! It's sugar."
"Somebody's sensitive to sugar," Booker teases.
"He's a heroin addict. Duh," Mitch points out.
I sit with strangers to go out of my comfort zone. "I have so many financial issues," one groans, leaning back. He can't pay his rent, his car, nothing. He's in a lot of debt. Recovery is not helping, but he is here tonight. "I got a DUI," another man sighs. I roll my eyes. Oppression Olympics in 3…2… "I got my license revoked," another man chirps. We stare at him. Why is he so cheery? That's a big consequence!
The meeting is boring until the last twenty minutes. Two guys my age stand up. A sponsor and a sponsee. The sponsee has a year clean tonight and his sponsor hands him his key tag. He talks for ten minutes about how proud he is and the work they did. Then he hugs his sponsee for a long time. I am close enough to see that the sponsor has his eyes closed. I realize he's crying.
This is what keeps me coming back.