I wanted to say a quick thanks to all the guest reviews I've gotten the last couple of days! I'm thinking they're all by the same person, but either way, I love reading your guys' feedback and it definitely encourages me to continue writing this story.
Not a lot of Rose/Morgana interactions in this chapter, but quite a bit of Gwen, and the formal introduction of Merlin! (Poor Merlin, coming in so late... Oh, well.)
Rose realized that she had gone full circle. She had gone from avoiding Morgana to being Morgana's friend, perhaps more, and now she was back to the beginning. Well, at least she tried to avoid the noble- it was rather difficult considering the inconvenient fact that she was the woman's servant. Perhaps 'avoid' was the wrong word. Rose didn't run away from her or anything like that- she stayed friendly, but she kept interactions brief and distant, and Gwen had resumed staying later at nights.
Morgana seemed to be doing the same. Smiles and kind words exchanged, but they didn't speak about anything of particular importance, let alone what had happened that night. Rose repeatedly asked herself if she was insane for shooting down Morgana's advances. Morgana Pendragon kissed her, and Rose had practically ran away with her tail between her legs. She'd been fawning over the woman for ages now, and just when her wildest dreams had begun to come true, she had halted it because it was "the right thing to do". It certainly didn't feel like the right thing to do.
Still, Rose kept from questioning herself too thoroughly, not wanting to change her mind. No matter how insane it may be to reject Morgana Pendragon, the apparent love of her life, Rose knew that what she had done had made at least a semblance of sense. This way, there were no risks being taken, no way for either of them to get themselves in trouble (and in her case, possibly killed). It was safer, it was easier, and although that wasn't exactly good enough for her, Rose had managed to convince herself that it was the best choice. She had a tendency to ignore her problems, and her parents had always discouraged this, but old habits die hard.
Even though she was at least partially ignoring her internal struggle, Morgana was still all that was on her mind. Rose simply couldn't help it- she'd long since abandoned any hope of trying to get her mind off of the dark-haired noble. She wondered what Morgana was doing, she wondered what Morgana was thinking, she wondered what Morgana was feeling. Morgana, Morgana, Morgana, her mind chanted, which was especially inconvenient considering everything that had been happening recently. It was quite difficult, thinking about her without beginning to think about what had transpired between them the other night. Rose tried to occupy herself otherwise by throwing herself into her chores, but Gwen was unfortunately no help in that area. Every time the fellow maid mentioned the Lady Morgana, Rose would flinch, and one day after Gwen mentioned the woman's name three times in one sentence, Rose snapped.
"Can we please not talk about Lady Morgana?" she begged, the words flowing from her tongue before she could stop herself. Immediately realizing her mistake, Rose's eyes shot open wide. "I'm sorry, Gwen, that was rude of me. I'm just... over-tired," she lied, releasing a sigh and shaking her head slightly. Don't take out your frustration on poor Gwen, she didn't do anything! she scolded herself, ashamed for snapping at Gwen like that.
Gwen's eyebrows were raised in surprise, and she was silent for a few heartbeats before she spoke. "I've noticed that you've distanced yourself from her these last couple of days. Did something happen?" Her voice was soft and worried, which made Rose feel even worse. You're too damn nice, Gwen, that's your problem. Sweet as honey, and I can't lie to honey! ...Okay, that made exactly no sense, even to me.
A 'no' was dancing on her lips, ready to be delivered, but staring into Gwen's face brought the truth to the surface. "We kissed," Rose blurted out, and immediately slapped her hand to her face. How big of an idiot can Rose be?! The answer will surprise you. Just kidding, you won't be surprised, because it's pretty obvious how big of an idiot she is! Groaning into her hand, Rose peeked through her fingers to gauge Gwen's reaction.
The dark-skinned maid gaped at Rose, but she was relieved when she saw only shock on Gwen's face and not disgust or anger. "You and Lady Morgana kissed?" she repeatedly, slowly, as if she wasn't sure she had heard it right. "I didn't even know that Morgana- well, that she liked-"
Rose chuckled awkwardly at Gwen's words and shrugged helplessly. "Neither did I, honestly. Maybe it's just me." Funny joke, Rosie.
Gwen smiled slightly before the confused expression reappeared on her face. "Okay, so you two kissed. It was rather obvious that you were attracted to her, if I do say so, with all of your gawking and blushing, but I'm still confused. You two kissing, shouldn't that have been a good thing since you like her so much?" Rose nodded sadly. "Why are you upset and avoiding her, then?"
Rose sighed and shook her head. "That's the complicated part. See, um... Here's the thing, Gwen. I've loved Morgana for years now, I honestly have, and that's great in theory, but the reality is that she's a noble and I'm a servant. Nothing should ever happen! No matter how much I want it to, you know? She's going to marry some nobleman or prince, maybe even Prince Arthur, and that's how things should be. I can't mess with these things, I just can't, and besides, imagine if we were caught. I'd be strung up, o-or burned, or have my head chopped off! Morgana will get in trouble too, and I can't bear it, you know? I just- if something were to- I don't know, it's just not meant to be and that's that. I have to get over it, get it out of my head, and I'm truly sorry for snapping at you, but I've been a little tense since then. I'm trying to get my mind off her, but that's proving exceedingly difficult." She released a nervous laugh and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, glancing up at Gwen.
The maid was looking at her like she had five heads. "Rose!" Gwen exclaimed, gently slapping the woman's arm. "I believe that love is love. It doesn't matter that she's a noble and you're a servant, it doesn't. All that matters is what you two feel, and that's it. So maybe you get caught, maybe you get in trouble, but wouldn't it be worth it if you spent even a short amount of time together instead of all that time apart, denying your feelings? I'd like to think so, anyway." Gwen shrugged and continued to fold clothes.
Rose stared at Gwen for a few long moments before she murmured, "You're probably right, Gwen. Thank you. I just... I'm not sure about it. I'll have to see how things go the next couple of days, at least try to figure out what I'm going to say to Morgana." Gwen nodded her head and told her that was most likely a good idea, and told her to think about what she had said. And Rose did. She thought long and hard about Gwen's words, and the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. She didn't want to be miserable, admiring Morgana from a distance and that's it when she could actually be with the woman. That didn't make any sense.
Now she only had to figure out what to say to Morgana to make it up to her. She had to find a way to explain what had been going on in her head- explain that she had strong feelings for Morgana, but she had been unsure and insecure and foolish. Yeah, that sounds good, that sounds like it'll work. Really emphasize the 'foolish' part. All she had to do now was summon the courage to approach the woman- well, approaching Morgana was one thing, but trying to explain herself was another. She just had keep her wit about her, that's all. She made it sound a lot easier than it actually was, since keeping her wit about her wasn't exactly her strong point.
The next morning on her way to Morgana's chambers, Rose repeated to herself over and over the speech she was going to deliver. I'm so, so sorry, Morgana, I was being stupid and insecure and doubting myself. I've wanted nothing more than to kiss you and get close to you, but then when that happened, I panicked and ran away like a scared little girl. I regret that so much, and I hope that you'll be kind enough to give me a second chance. It sounded beautiful, romantic, apologetic- perfection! Rose prayed that Morgana believed her words and took mercy on her.
Rose briefly knocked on the door and waited for Morgana's "Come in!" before she stepped inside. Closing the door behind her, Rose turned and opened her mouth to launch into her well-rehearsed speech. The words escaped her, however, as she saw Morgana dressed in her riding clothes, Gwen noticeably absent. "Are you going riding, milady? This early?" Rose asked, slightly confused as she peeked inside the adjoining room to look for Gwen. The servant wasn't there either, and Rose wondered where she was. She thought to ask, but before she could, Morgana responded to her earlier question.
"Yes, Arthur invited me to go out riding for the day and for a picnic. We figured we'd get an early start," Morgana replied, glancing at Rose through the mirror. Rose nodded slightly, disappointed but relieved as well. Well, maybe the speech can wait. Don't want to keep the prince waiting for her, that'd be rude.
Convincing herself that now wasn't the right time for her to spill her innermost feelings, Rose murmured, "Well, I hope your ride is enjoyable. Do you know where Gwen is? She's usually here by now, this is the time she usually brushes your hair and everything. Well, you'd know that, of course, not sure why I just said that." Shaking her head and mentally scoffing at herself, Rose occupied herself by prodding at the new vase that had been placed on Morgana's small table.
"In the stable, getting the horses ready," Morgana said. Rose looked over her shoulder and frowned slightly- the noble obviously saw Rose's confused look, and explained, "She wanted to get her own horse ready, and figured she'd get the rest as well."
Realization hitting her, Rose wasn't sure whether to feel hurt or relieved that Gwen was invited instead of herself. "Oh, that's nice," she said, hoping that her slight disappointment didn't bleed into her voice. "The rest, though? Is someone else going?" she asked casually, shrugging a simple shoulder as if showing her innocent curiosity. Rose liked to think that she was getting better at it, though that was just the power of positive thinking at work.
Morgana's lips quirked slightly and she said (in a voice much more casual than Rose's was, of course), "Yes, actually." She paused for a moment, perhaps for dramatic affect, before she continued. "There's myself. Arthur. Gwen. Arthur's manservant, a boy named Merlin, I believe. And then yourself."
Rose snapped around and stared at Morgana in surprise. "I'm sorry?" she said stupidly, and Morgana rolled her eyes.
"Well, I've heard that Merlin has a bit of a crush on our Gwen, and I believe that she returns the boy's affections. I figured that you could help her out a bit, since you seem to be an expert on matters of the heart." Morgana's voice was unreadable, if perhaps a little accusatory, and Rose couldn't help but flinch. That was the first time either had mentioned that night and what had transpired, and Rose was reminded just how hurt Morgana had most likely been. Seeing Rose's obvious discomfort, Morgana released a narrow sigh and flashed her a brief, apologetic smile before she spoke again. "I'm just kidding, Rose. Well, I do believe that those two do indeed have feelings for one another, but that wasn't the reason why you were invited. I just figured that if Gwen was going, and Merlin was going, you should come as well. You deserve a break from your chores anyway, you've been working awfully hard."
Rose honestly had half a mind to insist that she shouldn't go, that she had very important work to do, but she knew that Morgana wouldn't take no for an answer. So, experiencing serious déjà vu, Rose bit her lip and released a sigh. "Yeah, sure, it'll be... so much fun." She hoped she sounding convincing, but by the way Morgana was looking at her, she knew that her voice wasn't very convincing at all. Horses, Morgana, people who I've never spoken to... What could go wrong, right? ...I probably just jinxed myself, didn't I? Sigh.
Morgana nodded slightly and offered her a smile, saying with a roll of her eyes, "Well, I'm glad that I didn't have to order you to come. That wouldn't have been very enjoyable for either of us, would it?" Rose released an awkward 'heh' as a means of response before the noble swept out of room, gesturing briefly for her servant to follow. The two women walked in silence to the stables, Rose opening her mouth to speak half a dozen times but failing to generate anything relevant to say.
When they got to the stables, Gwen and Arthur were there, exchanging in slightly awkward conversation before they spotted the two approaching women. Gwen smiled at Morgana briefly before hurrying over to Rose. Nodding her head towards the noblewoman, Gwen prompted in a hushed voice, "Did you think about it? Did you talk to her?" Rose laughed nervously and shook her head almost apologetically.
"I... Well, I was going to this morning, I swear, but then she said we were all going out riding, and I figured this morning wasn't the best time." At Gwen's disapproving look, Rose added desperately, "But I will, I'll talk to her about it, I really will! I was going to, I was all ready and everything, but it didn't..." Rose gestured wildly with her hands. "It just didn't feel right, you know? It was like the universe didn't want me to talk to her about it this morning. I don't know, it was weird, thought I heard a voice in my head or something..."
Gwen smacked Rose's arm gently again and rolled her eyes with a small smile on her lips. "Whatever you say, Rose, but you can't avoid it. This conversation is going to happen whether you like it or not, and you might like it even less if you just ignore the problem."
"Stop being so wise, Gwen," Rose grumbled, shooting her friend a grin. Gwen automatically returned it, and the two serving maids walked over to the horses to join Prince Arthur and Lady Morgana. Spotting the horse Millicent waiting for her, Rose walked over, hesitantly patting the horse's snout. "Ah, hello, Millicent my old friend," Rose said in a mockingly nostalgic voice, peeking over at Morgana who had already mounted her white stallion. With a soft sigh, Rose murmured in the horse's ear, "Let's hope that this whole picnic thing goes swimmingly, hmm?" The horse snorted as if to say, "Good luck with that." Or maybe it was saying, "I'm a horse. Stop talking to me." Rose was admittedly not fluent in horse-language, after all.
Rose mounted Millicent with the help of that same stable boy, who shot her another grin that made her feel uncomfortable. She quietly thanked him, awkwardly avoiding eye contact and instead locking gazes with Morgana. The woman raised an eyebrow at her and teased, "You'll be alright by yourself, Rose?" The blonde blushed and mumbled a yes, remembering the last time they had gone riding and how close she had been with Morgana. Part of her wanted to repeat that experience, but she figured it'd be awkward considering their current situation.
Rose faintly heard Morgana chuckle before she clucked her tongue to make her horse move. Doing the same, Rose followed the small group into the courtyard.
"Hey, wait for me!" Turning to head to search for the source of the voice, Rose's eyes fell on a gangly-looking young man in a blue shirt and red neckerchief with particularly large ears and hair the same color as Morgana's. "You weren't planning on leaving without me, sire, were you?" He shot a large grin at Prince Arthur who rolled his eyes.
"Yes, Merlin, that was indeed the plan," the prince said, irritated. "Hurry up already, I'd like to leave before the sun sets." Merlin grinned, clearly unfazed by Arthur's words, and rushed off to grab a horse.
Once the servant returned, they set off on their picnic, the two nobles taking the front and their servants in the back. Merlin and Gwen fell into easy conversation leaving Rose awkwardly trailing behind. Glancing behind her and obviously spotting Rose's look of distress, Gwen slowed her horse down to walk beside her, and Merlin soon did the same on her other side.
"I'm sorry, I don't think we've ever met- my name's Merlin," the dark-haired servant said with a friendly smile, outstretching his hand for her to shake. "I'm Prince Prat- I mean, Prince Arthur's servant," he teased, nodding towards Arthur in front who yelled, "I heard that!"
Rose laughed and shook his hand, replying, "Oh, um, very nice to meet you. I'm Rose- Lady Morgana's servant, um, obviously." Glancing at Merlin's smile and then at Gwen's, Rose felt a tad mischievous and said, "I've heard a lot about you, from Gwen. She speaks quite often about you, actually." Merlin's eyes widened slightly and he looked at Gwen, who appeared absolutely scandalized.
"I do not," she whisper-shouted, glancing desperately between everyone before her eyes fell on Merlin whose grin had widened slightly. "I don't talk about you that much, I honestly don't!"
Merlin laughed and shook his head, his cheeks tinged pink as he assured her, "No, um, it's alright."
Rose smiled innocently at Gwen before her eyes fell on Morgana, who met her gaze and grinned almost proudly. The noble nodded her head slightly to show her approval before turning back around in her saddle. A small smile itching at her lips, Rose followed, listening to Gwen and Merlin's chatter but not really paying attention to what they were saying.