Chapter 11, Kaleidoscope.
Studying herself in the mirror, Chi-Chi can't stop a tiny part of her mind from asking her if she's doing the right thing here. Is it really okay for her to go through with this ceremony? Is it really okay for her to sit in front of a thousand people and entertain the idea of becoming their queen, when she's leaving her own home broken in pieces? How will she be a good queen if she couldn't even endure the hardships of being a wife? Is any of that really okay?
Enough now, she sternly tries to tell herself, you made your choice, now accept it. If you keep up like this, it'll play out exactly like the morning in the hotel, and who knows, Goku might even transmit here just like he did the last time. And if Goku shows up again...
No, she can't think like that. She and Goku already said their goodbyes yesterday. There wouldn't be any reason for him to show up this time, so it's better that she not think like that.
In an attempt to shake those unwelcome thoughts out of her head, she turns to her side to see how she looks like from that angle. It only takes one look at herself from the side, for her to see right away that she went all out to get dressed for this day. And it's then that the tiny part of her mind that had been trying to fill the rest of her mind with doubt, contaminates another chunk of her mind to question if she's really doing the right thing here.
Look at yourself, Chi-Chi, her mind speaks to her, you're dressed like that, looking like that, a far cry from who you usually are, and you want the people who know you, to take you seriously? Look at the make up on your face, look at the flattering way your hair is running down your face, instead of being held back like it usually is. Look at that dress, showing every single slope of your body, that you usually keep well-hidden for only Goku to see… This isn't you, Chi-Chi, this is an escape that you're trying to make for yourself, so that you can justify leaving your husband.
It's so loud in her head, she shakes her head a little, once again attempting to clear her mind of all doubts. It's too loud in her head in fact, she concludes with a worried sigh, feeling like she's using her last breath. It shouldn't be like this, she shouldn't be having second thoughts about taking the throne to her kingdom, much less about being dressed up and looking like a woman for the first time in the longest time.
There had been so many times that she was invited to an event, when she achingly longed to make herself up and enhance her beauty, but since she couldn't be there with her husband, she thought it disrespectful and attention seeking to dress up. She's been waiting for a chance like this for the longest time. She's been waiting for an event where she could put on a flattering dress and paint her face with light touches of colour like other women her age do. She's been waiting for a chance to let her hair breathe, without worrying about tying it for the rest of the day, because she has so much to get done in the house. And yet, now that she's dressed up like she always dreamed to be, she feels like it's wrong? No, that must be a sign of some kind.
In serious doubt, feeling just a breath away from calling the whole thing off, she takes four steps back to the dressing table, but her eyes remain on her figure in the mirror.
Her mind's right, she realises as her eyes run up and down her figure. She may not be wearing a show-stopping dress, but she still looks beyond amazing. And green really, she wonders, she just had to wear the green dress? Green compliments her in several ways that other colours just don't seem to do. It must have something to do with her pale skin complexion, but the colour green, especially the olive shade that she's chosen out, has the flawless ability to accentuate her figure. From her exposed shoulders, almost glistening for no apparent reason, to the contours of her body…
No, she's starting to see that this isn't a good sign for her. In fact, maybe she should-
Abruptly cutting her away from her thoughts all of a sudden, the air in her room gets stuffily thick. It's almost unbelievable how humid it suddenly is in here. Suddenly feeling unable to move, she stands frozen on the spot, holding her breath and praying that this will be easy.
'Goku,' she whispers just as she closes her eyes.
From the way they parted yesterday, she isn't the least surprised that he's here to see her. He wasn't satisfied with how they left things yesterday, and she knows first-hand that when Goku is not satisfied, he keeps pushing. While she knows this about him, a part of her still wants to wonder if he isn't tired of going through the same cycle lately.
Weren't three goodbyes enough for him? Does he still want to get them to a point where wringing out their feelings is inevitable? Because she can't take any more of it. Every day that she wakes up, she has to struggle against herself between staying and going, and when he keeps appearing in her path, he makes ten times worse.
'You're not supposed to be here,' she tells him, folding her arms across her chest to maintain her little sense of composure.
The answer that she gets, is thick silence, even thicker than the air surrounding them in the room. The silence makes her feel trapped in the room with no escape. Unlike him, who has the wonderful ability of appearing and disappearing when it suits him (and not just literally), she doesn't have that luxury; she's never had it.
She wishes that he would break through the heavy silence, because in the silence, her doubts are heightened beyond their limits. Fortunately, just when she can't take the silence anymore, light footsteps come to a standstill almost directly in front of her, making her open her eyes.
Where she mentally prepared herself to come face to face with a distraught looking Goku, she meets a dreamy-eyed face, looking as though he's looking at the very thing that he's been tirelessly searching for throughout his entire existence. His innocent black eyes say the words that don't come out of his pressed closed mouth. His eyes are asking her to let him have even five minutes to simply look at her, to feast his eyes on her just the way she is.
Feeling her heart sink for him, she pulls in a short breath and takes half a step backwards to compose herself to give off the air of someone who's puzzled.
'Are you just going to look at me?' she questions. 'Is that why you came in here?'
Her questions apparently startle him out of his dreamy state, because he jerks his head up in hurry as though to shake it to life, before clearing his throat to ask a confused, 'Huh?'
Although he loses his dreamy state, something about the brightness in his eyes tells her that he's not quite over feeling like she's the best discovery that he's made all his life. Nonetheless, she pushes that to the side for her own sake. If she doesn't, she could easily get lost in his feelings right along with him too.
'I… I… Why are you here, Goku?' she finally manages to ask.
'Oh,' he says after clearing his throat a second time. 'I, um… I brought you these.'
He presents his hands in the small space between them, which are holding the same bag that he brought to her at the hospital. Unsure what to think or say in this moment, she only keeps her eyes on the bag.
'It's the Dragon Balls,' he softly tells her. 'I found them for you anyway, so take them. Please?'
It's not just his partially desperate 'please' that appeals to her, it's also her own reasoning, her intelligence that hasn't ever led her into dreadfully wrong places before, that urges her heart to take a second to consider his request.
He sounded genuine enough. He even sounded like if she refused him, it would break his heart. It's for that reason that she reaches out her hand to take the bag from him. Once she has the bag in her own hands, she takes a chance and looks back up at him, even though she's still not sure what to say to him.
Almost immediately, she regrets the decision to look at him, because more unsettling than before when he looked like he was looking at long-sought-after gift, he's now staring at her with such raw emotion reflected in his eyes, that she feels the beginnings of a blush creep up her face from the base of her neck. She would be lying if she said that she ever saw such raw desire in his eyes before today. Not even in his Super Saiyan four form when he was bluntly agile about sex, did he ever look at her so urgently with archaic desire before.
This time, she's the one who needs to clear her throat, thoroughly. She needs the time it takes to 'clear' her throat, to regain herself for what feels like the tenth time today. She also needs the time, to try to redirect her focus away from the fact that Goku deeply desires her. She needs to shift her vision to something else, something else like…
'You're wearing a suit,' she brightly observes, extremely thankful to have found something else to bring up.
With this new topic, with this new distraction, she can comment on how she knows that he doesn't like to especially wear suits, but then squandering her plan, Goku replies with his own response so fast that she doesn't get to finish her thought.
'And you look different,' huskily comes from his mouth. 'Intriguing different.'
Intriguing different, she slowly repeats in her head. That sounds like he means to say that she looks the kind of different that's begging to be explored. And as if that wasn't enough, he quickly uses her silent moment to close the space little space between then to pull her flush against him.
Once again, she feels helplessly trapped.
'I want you so much,' he smoothly tells her, clearly unashamed to admit it. 'It's like I'm looking at a strong guy powering up, while I sense his incredible energy… and I just want to fight him already, you know?'
He finishes his simple explanation by looking deeply into her eyes as if that way, he'll drill his meaning into her, to make her understand the way he wants her and the way he doesn't want to have to wait to have her.
And here she thought she was trapped before, she thinks as she swallows something invisible down her throat. The analogy was quite clear for her, she continues to think, trying her best not to hold her breath in. He didn't need to drill his desire-filled eyes into hers to make her see his point.
'I want to kiss you so much, Chi-Chi,' he quietly, yet deeply says to her, bringing his thumb to lightly run over her bottom lip.
Eyes glued to his, too mesmerised to even dare to look away, she tries to open her mouth to say something, only, she can't get her constricted throat to co-operate. She didn't realise that her throat had closed up. When did that happen? Should she swallow down again to doctor her constricted throat? Will that help in getting her to say something, anything to him in return?
Goku, apparently unable to wait for her, gently pulls her further into his arms, pressing her to both embrace her and feel her close. At the new adjustment, stunned surprise overtakes her whole body, leading her to freeze in his arms and uncharacteristically drop the bag in her hands. If the seven balls hit her feet, she doesn't even notice it.
She hears him pull in a small breath as if to show her that he's barely containing himself, which does nothing to make her feel at ease in his arms. It's not that she's afraid of being in his arms like this, it's more that she's afraid of acknowledging her own feelings in his arms. Already, her heart is rushing wildly as though it was let loose in the jungle after a long period of imprisonment, she can't…
'I want you so much,' he speaks softly close to her ear. 'I don't even understand why, suddenly… but I just want you so much, Chi-Chi and I don't know if I can wait. I've never been good at waiting for what I want.'
His measured intakes of breaths, his thinly latent quivering of muscles both touch her soft soul so much that she uses all of her willpower to force herself to snap out of her stunned state. She needs to move out of his arms, to look into his eyes, to look at his face, and then decide…
Surprisingly, Goku lets her ease out of his arms, however, where she thought she'd feel a little relief and experience the freedom of not feeling trapped, she feels… incomplete.
It's a draining feeling, goes through her mind while she separates herself from the man that she loves with all that she has.
As she's no longer plastered against him, she takes a good look at the man standing in front of her, no words forming even her mind.
'Chi-Chi, please,' brokenly leaves his mouth.
Inexplicably, she feels herself giving him a small nod. It's not necessarily consent or even an invitation, it's more that she's communicating how all right it is for him to want her.
Her Goku… How can she deny him anything when he looks ready to burst open? How can she deny him a last goodbye, if that's what his heart wants? How can-
Suddenly, she feels her nose collide with his. She can't be sure if she leaned into him or if met her in the middle (that's if she moved at all), but she doesn't get to wonder long about it because a loud knock sounds on her door just then.
Sucking in a breath, she hastily pulls back from him, light heat touching her cheeks. Begrudgingly, she turns towards the door to answer, 'Yes?'
'It's Willow,' comes the fluid answer. 'I've come to inform you that the ceremony starts in seven minutes.'
'All right,' she notes, partly thankful and mildly disappointed. 'I'll be right out.'
She turns around to tell Goku that it's just Willow, but she finds him gone. The place where he'd stood is now empty and when she looks down, to make sure that he's not crouching on the floor, only the bag with the Dragon Balls meets her eyes.
'He left,' weakly leaves her mouth, feeling her knees shake as if ready to give out at any second.
26Chapters
Sitting on her highlighted majestic chair on the balcony, she has the perfect vantage point to see everything below.
As a child, she always used to like standing up on the balcony of their huge auditorium to pretend that she was speaking to a thousand students, teaching them whatever thing her mind wanted to teach that day. She'd always had the passion for teaching and their private auditorium made it able for her to live out her passion for a little portion of the day before she had to go out and train with her father.
Never in her wildest dreams, did she imagine that would one day be sitting on the same balcony, looking just two metres below at the sea of people who've congregated to witness her coronation, like she is doing now. If someone would've told her that she would be here, seeing an array of people, coloured in so many majestic shades, as though she was staring at a kaleidoscope, she would've told that person that they were out of her mind. She would've even screamed that she didn't ever see herself in a life away from her beloved marital home.
But, here she is, sitting in the same chair that her father used to sit in, not paying attention to what the ceremony minister is saying, but rather focusing her energy on finding a single person through the multitude. Although she partly notices everyone looking at her, her eyes don't heed their attention, because she's only on the lookout to find specifically spiky hair.
'Welcome the sworn in Queen, Son Chi-Chi to the podium,' the minister announces, disrupting her search for Goku.
Son Chi-Chi huh, she wonders to herself as she slowly gets up from her seat, if only they knew the whole truth. No one would be here to witness her coronation then, she sadly tells herself.
However, to her surprise, the second that she's firmly on her feet, an unexpected warming round of applause erupts in the air. Caught completely off guard, she nearly staggers back to fall into the chair. It's only thanks to the many years that she's spent as Goku's wife, that she's able to catch her real feelings in time, to prevent them for surfacing. If that hadn't been the case, her eyes would've erupted with tears without restraint right then and there in the same way that the applause erupted.
In all her life…
Apart from her first ever Tournament fights, she's never had the privilege of being applauded for. Even then with the Tournament, the applauses had been to urge her on, to encourage her to keep fighting so that they, the crowd could keep being entertained. In this case, she doesn't feel like she's being cheered on to succeed, rather, she feels like she's openly being accepted into a community by willing hearts.
The tears in her eyes increase profusely from the genuine warmth that the applause brings her. From her very toes to the tips of her hair, is a sensation that she's never truly experienced in its fullness like this. It's quite something how all these people are bringing their hands together to show her support, but in a genuine way.
She feels appreciated. Really, really appreciated, so much so that it makes her heart swell with an indescribable warmth. As a consequence, she could almost say that her heart is humming a soothing melody designed to lift her spirits –if only for a moment- from the languish that Goku's current absence left her with.
She's never felt so… important and valued before.
With a new sense of restored strength, she evenly makes her way to the podium for her moment, taking careful step after careful step to enjoy the beautiful sound of the applause for much longer. A chance like this may never come again and so while she's able to, she must take proper advantage of it, for her brain to etch it into her memory.
The applause gradually dies down when she reaches the podium, something which she appreciates greatly. She wouldn't have like it if the people stopped clapping for her all at once as though robotically. No, this gradual fading cements in their warm reception and appreciation for her, and she would be the biggest liar if she said that it didn't boost her ego more than she's ever had it boosted before.
'Thank you all for coming,' she evenly starts with a warm smile, shifting her head from side to side for the benefit of all of her audience.
She wants every single person in the auditorium to feel included. Like they gladly received her and made her feel important, she wants to return the favour. Except, returning the favour is not necessarily the reason that she's trying to include them all, it's more that she does want to include them all. However, her plan flies through the window of her mind when she spots him.
She could've sworn that he wasn't there before. She'd looked at the front and second rows of the auditorium quite a few times to make sure that he wasn't there, to conclude that he wasn't there. She'd seen all their friends in the first and second rows, but he really hadn't been there. But now, there he is, calmly seated with Goten and Gohan on either side with his eyes solely focused on her.
Just as he did in her room, his expression tells the story of someone who's seeing her for the first time and at the same time, seeing the very gift that they've wanted to have for the longest time. Contrasting how trapped she felt when it was just the two of them in her room, this time, she positively just wants to melt on the spot. Maybe it has something to do with the ego boost that the audience gave her for a welcome, or maybe it's just her heart that's the cause, but all she knows is that she could just dissolve in the way that he's looking at her.
Not now, Chi-Chi, her mind warns her, dissolve when you are alone, not in front of a waiting crowd.
Oh, right, the crowd.
She returns her gaze to a neutral spot, and realises that there's dead silence in the place, for her to continue with here speech. Her mind knows it's not true, but something in her manages to make her feel like the whole auditorium can see inside her and they know her feelings. Suddenly, she feels self-conscious, so much so that she wishes that she'd taken off the green dress for another less exposing one.
She better get this over with as soon as possible, so that the people can start eating and then no one will be left to focus on her.
'Most of you don't know this,' she picks up, 'but my father didn't start out as a real king of this kingdom. There was a time when he was a violent man that people were afraid of. But it was one little boy's cheerful heart and promise to help, that made my father decide to be a better man.'
She doubts that the majority of the people present in the auditorium know the whole story of hoe her father came to be the real King of the kingdom, but that isn't the matter now anyway. What matters, is that she gives them a short background, to pave the way for her following reign. Even Goku doesn't know the extent to which he played a role in changing her father's overall attitude.
She gives off a little smile, a little nostalgia for the old days with her father dancing around in her head.
'It was from then on, that my father started caring for the people on his own,' she continues, 'without being told to. He started using his wealth to built better conditions for the people and created more jobs for them too. And when I was around sixteen, the kingdoms' people got together to elect him and officially ordain him as king.'
She'll never forget how much her father cried that day. The honour that he felt mingled with remorse for the way he'd previously been towards people in the past, had made him an emotional basket case that day. But, she'll admit that it had been one of the best days of her life, especially since it made her father happy. Seeing her father happy had always made her happy.
It's part of the reason that she wants to be Queen of this kingdom, amongst other reasons.
'Um…' she pauses to pull in a small breath, 'It's true that my father groomed me to be queen after him, but deep down, he always knew that I would get married to the man I loved one day and that his dreams for me would die. I did get married, and neither of us ever imagined that I would be here, doing what he used to do, being placed with the same responsibility that he had. My father made it look so easy, like it was as easy as maintaining a house is easy to me, however, I know better…'
During this second pause, she specifically looks at Goku. She can't think of a better person who would understand the weight responsibility has on one person. Goku has a knack of making opposing threats look easy to deal with, easy to defeat, but only she truly knows how difficult it is for him to wear the crown of responsibility to keep everyone safe, just like she knew how difficult it was for her father to look after the wellbeing of his kingdom.
Goku, for his part, almost takes her breath away when he does one of the cutest things that he does. He puts on an uncertain smile as his index finger moves to patiently rub under his nose, to reflexively show his embarrassment. She's always found that signature move of his endearing, but to be witnessing it up from up where she is, and being the only one privy to it, almost takes her breath away. It's something so simple, and yet so vulnerably intimate that she can't help it feel connected to him right now.
But then suddenly, a blunt pang hits her in the centre of her chest just as she's thinking to show him a pleasant smile. She's supposed to breaking all connections with him, not encouraging them on. She needs to look away, and that's what she does.
'I know that being a leader means taking on everyone's burdens for the better,' she says after turning back to the rest of the crowd, 'and even though I have no experience with that, I've had two great men show me how to do it. I can only hope that I do not let my, or my kingdom down. Once again,' she quickly concludes, 'thank you all for coming. Please feel free to start eating now.'
This time, when an applause breaks out, she doesn't give attention to it, she steps away from the podium and starts to leave in the other direction for a private moment with herself.
She wonders if it will ever get better, if she will ever stop going back and forth between wanting Goku's presence and firmly sticking to the decision to go. Here she thought she'd been looking at a kaleidoscope of people, when she is the real kaleidoscope. Ever since Goku returned, she's between faltering between wanting him and needing him and also protecting herself from the heartache that will inevitably follow afterwards. She can't-
Her thoughts come to an abrupt end when she feels herself bump into someone. Feeling apologetic, she quickly lifts her head to convey her apology for her clumsiness and inattention, only to discover that she bumped into none other than the person who's in her mind.
He really needs to stop appearing like that to her.
Reaching for her arm, Goku tells her, 'I really need to talk to you, Chi-Chi. About earlier. You understand that, don't you?'
And she needs a minute to herself, she thinks with her eyes focused on his. She needs to sort herself out and get herself together, especially as from today onwards.
'Not now, Goku,' she tiredly tells him.
After that, she tries to walk past him, but he slides down his hand to get a hold of her wrist. Because his hold is much too tight, she retraced her step to end up where she'd been a second before; before him. His eyes do the begging for him, and she nearly caves when a glee filled voice sounds behind them.
'Mom! Oh, wow, Mom, you're really the Queen now!' Goten happily announces, and judging by the pitch of his voice, he's probably doing a little dance to that. 'So that makes me and Gohan princes, right Mom?'
Thank heavens for the interruption, she breathes out her relief and then looks around Goku to her son.
'Yes,' she answers him. 'You and Gohan are both princes now.'
Rushing over to be with them , Goten comes to start asking, 'And Dad's-?' but unceremoniously cuts off, his face drawing on a frown.
'Mom? Dad? What's wrong?' he wants to know, sounding worried while switching from the one parent to the other.
Sometimes, she hates that she raised such perceptively intelligent children. Like now, she lets out a minimal sigh, she doesn't have the strength for this. She can't let Goten find out about her and Goku like this.
'Goten sweety,' she gently tries to appease him, at the same time trying to ease herself out of Goku's hold. 'Nothing's wrong. Your father wants to talk to me, but I need to talk to Piccolo for a minute first. That's all.'
She just barely managed to remember that she never got the chance to talk to Piccolo yesterday and so made it her excuse. The problem is, Goten doesn't look a breath close to being appeased. If anything, he stares hard at his father, and then at his father's hand around her wrist…
'But Dad doesn't look-' Goten starts to say, but she doesn't let him finish.
'Goku…' she tries to tell him to let her go without saying the actual words, but highly resistant, Goku doesn't budge, which forces her to plead an urgent, 'Please.'
As though coming out of a trance, Goku takes in a sharp breath and then looks at his hand around her wrist, and then only does he let her go.
'Sorry,' he mutters to her.
She takes the opportunity to reach to her left to lightly cup Goten's cheek. 'I'll be right back with you Goten,' she promises before walking past Goku with a trembling heart.
26Chapters
After she makes her clean escape to Piccolo, and she gets him, she quietly asks him to follow her to a more secluded corner where they can talk in private. They get to a less crowded place, because everyone seems to be interested in the food –that she unfortunately didn't make- more than actually engaging with each other at the moment.
It's curious, she begins to remember, Goku didn't rush for the buffet table like he would've done. He came to find her instead of running to eat. His urgent insistence to talk to her is now falling into place for her...
'Chi-Chi?' Piccolo calls for her attention.
Right, she's here with Piccolo to distract herself.
'The other day,' she sighs out, let her Goku thoughts go, 'you wanted to talk to me?'
Piccolo isn't the type of person who simply wants to talk for no reason at all. He is a reserved guy, an intellectually driven guy who doesn't say more than what he needs to, and he certainly doesn't like to get involved in things that have little to do with him. That's how she knows that whatever he wanted to talk to her about, is important.
'Oh,' he sounds taken aback, like he was expecting something else. 'I just wanted to ask if I'm the reason for your decision to leave?'
For a second after his question, her eyes stay on his exposed antennae before thinking to put on a puzzled face.
'Huh?' she asks, unsure of what he's talking about.
'What I said at the last Tournament,' he slowly explains, 'is that why you're leaving him?'
Oh, that's what he's talking about. The truth is, when she told Goku to speak to Piccolo about why she left, she didn't really think that he would do it. She mostly told him that to get him off her back. She knows how much it goes against his nature to ask for help with things that he holds dear to his heart, and so she believed that he wouldn't actually go to Piccolo. It turns out she was wrong. Very wrong.
'No,' she quietly assures him. 'It's not because of you.'
Looking at Piccolo, and seeing the uncomfortable trouble that he went to, to put on a suit for her ceremony, she would just hate it if he believed that he's the reason for her leaving, when he has nothing to do with it all.
'I didn't mean to make it sound like he wasn't happy with you when I said that,' he tries to explain.
He feels guilty, she realises. He's not showing it, but she knows him well enough to figure out that he feels guilty for what he said. Goku must've said something to him that dug under his green skin and made a home there.
'Piccolo, it's not you,' she says a little firmer this time, even going as far as to take his hand in hers. 'I didn't even think about what you said during all these months,' she tells him honestly. 'Piccolo, I left because…'
When she trails off like that, she observes how quick he is to summon a deep frown on his face.
'Is there someone else?' he questions, suspicion stitched onto every syllable of his question.
Some- Someone else? Seriously, someone else? Is that really an serious question that needs an actual answer, because…
Letting out an impressed huffing sound first, Piccolo half smirks to say, 'I thought you might react like that.'
She can't help it produce a small smile for his benefit. 'Well, it was a stupid question,' she tells him, letting go of his hand.
Instead of stepping away from him, Chi-Chi brings her left hand to one side of his face, and then lifts herself up on her toes to place a small kiss on his cheek. It's a simple gesture to tell him that she appreciates his concern for her family, but when she pulls back she finds that he's blushing a deep purple. She momentarily forgot that such things make him uncomfortable.
'I appreciate you coming here, and trying to fight for him, but this isn't your fight,' she says to him, deciding to tell him more so that he can have it in his head that he isn't to blame for any of this. 'You know Piccolo, my father once said to me, -she starts with an impersonation of his voice- 'Chi-Chi, if that man ever makes you cry, you come right back to me, and I will take care of you.' Goku did make me cry. He made me cry so many times and my father was always there to dry my tears, but he never once asked me to come back with him…'
She never told her father, but she always valued that he never asked her to come back with him to the castle, no matter how many times Goku died or left. Although, had her father asked her to come with him, she wouldn't have gone with him, except maybe this last time. This time is different.
'Out of my own free will,' she continues to tell him, 'I always made the choice to stay. So please know that I didn't leave Goku, because I can't continue to stay, Piccolo. I can stay. I could've continued to stay there like I always did. I left because he can't stay.'
And that's the truth. For no other thing would she consider leaving Goku. The love that she has for him is a patient inexplicable thing, something that doesn't hold grudges or even just disappear like that. But the truth of the matter is, she's reached an age in her life where living in hope will do her more harm than good. At forty-three, she can't allow herself to wither away in hope, when she could be doing something useful and productive with herself.
She shifts her eyes back to focus on Piccolo, and for a second, he seems to understand what she said, only to have that look replaced by a frightened look and enlarged eyes as he blurts out a shocked, 'Goten!'
By the time Chi-Chi snaps back to see if her son is really there, her heart has leapt out of place and Goten is already heading a way from them.
'Oh no,' she laments with panic. 'I don't know how much he heard, but I have to go after him,' she says, immediately starting off after him.
There's a reason that she only spoke to Gohan about leaving Goku and not Goten. She knew that her youngest son wouldn't take it well, not when after all, he idolised the portrait of their perfect family during the years after Majin Buu. She needs to catch up with him.
All but running in her elegant dress, she finally catches up with Goten who's tugging on his absent-faced father's suit jacket. Lazily, Goku turns to Goten.
'Are you and Mom getting a divorce, Dad?' he asks, tears audible in his voice.
Oh boy... Chi-Chi can only imagine the kind of feelings that must be going through Goten's mind right now. It just then sinks in for Goku that something went wrong, so he looks at her with silent panic on his face, silently asking her what he should do.
'Goten, please listen to me,' she attempts to calm him down, but he wrenches himself free of her.
'It's true, isn't it?' Goten takes Goku's silence for a yes. 'You guys are getting divorced!' Like he's begging for mercy, he cries out, 'Mom! Tell me the truth!'
Like flies to decaying flesh, a flock of people suddenly gather around Goten and Goku to hear what Goten's talking about. She hates that they've attracted a crowd, and much more that Goku's just standing there, doing nothing to diffuse the situation. He's so good at disappearing at times when he's not supposed to, so why doesn't he grab their son and disappear into thin air, to keep their family affair a secret from the rest of the world?!
'It's not like that, Goten, you don't understand,' she tries once again.
She doesn't dare to lay her hand on him again, lest he cause a bigger scene, or heaven forbid he bursts into tears like he used to do when he was a child and something upset him. Although she's not happy to be dealing with this in the open air, she's more concerned about her son's breaking heart, bleeding to have a definite answer.
Unwilling to listen to her, he turns to his father. 'Dad, say something. You and Mom are really getting divorced? I heard her telling Piccolo that she's leaving you. I'm not a baby, I know what that means.'
'It's…' Goku sighs defeatedly, looking at Chi-Chi with a broken face. 'She's…'
'I knew it!' Goten screams at the top of his lungs, his hair fractionally turning blonde before he storms off at top speed.
In his wake, in the aftermath, feels what was left of the cords holding her together come undone, while the ground her feet are standing on starts to crumble. Tired, lost and humiliated even, she looks around them and sees people looking at her with shocked expressions on their faces. From her viewpoint, stemming from her internal conflict, it looks to her like they are judging her with their stares. Unable to think of anything else, she flees from there.
Chapter 12, Leave Out All The Rest.