Ch 11
"Ughhh…" Harry moaned, opening his eyes. He'd been in hospital for 2 days already, dosed up with more potions than he knew what to do with, many of them causing him to sleep deeply and often. His friends hadn't been allowed to visit, so it was with some surprise that Harry looked up to see Hermione smiling at him.
"'Ello, Her-meow-ninny," Harry mumbled.
"Harry, it's so good to see you awake, finally. We've all been worried sick about you, but they wouldn't let us in until today," Hermione gushed. The relief in her voice was apparent.
"Erghhhh… Shoulder still hurts," Harry muttered.
"Of course it still hurts! You had a spike the size of my arm driven clean through it. What were you doing out there, anyway?"
"What do you mean?" Harry asked.
"There were all sorts of creatures, Unicorns and Kneazles, helping you. Why?"
"Had to get the eggs to safety. I heard Krum caused his dragon to trample some of hers. I couldn't risk that. I just got sloppy at the end. Should have been better. Did you see what my score was?"
"Yes. Dumbledore and Madame Maxime gave you fives. Crouch gave you a three. Karkaroff gave you a one! I couldn't believe it. Even if you were injured, you did it in a way no one else had even thought of."
"What did Bagman give me?"
"Ten. I don't know how he could, but maybe he thought well of you saving the other eggs. I really don't understand it. I mean, you're in last place, but you do have twenty-four points."
"Sex it all… I have to win the damn thing," Harry mumbled.
"Harry, I have to ask. Why are you trying so hard?" Harry shifted uncomfortably under the scrutinizing gaze of his friend.
"Where's everyone else?" Harry asked in an attempt to change the subject.
"Well, Madam Pomfrey said only three of us were allowed in here at a time. Neville convinced everyone else to visit later."
"Right, but you're only one. Where is Ron?"
"Arguing with Ginny."
"About what?" Harry demanded. What on earth could the siblings could be fighting about now.
"Ginny's on a bit of a tear about you nearly getting yourself killed, and Ron's saying she's blown it all out of proportion."
"I thought she didn't care," Harry scoffed.
"You are thick, you know that?" Harry merely scowled at the witch's accusation. "She cares more than she can say. She's never told me so, but I'm willing to bet this tournament scares her more than it does you."
"Then why would she say all those things?"
"Harry, she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't care. That way if you get hurt it isn't so painful."
"I dunno… she seemed awfully sure."
"She fainted, you know," Hermione whispered.
"She what?"
"Fainted. Only for a second, mind you, but when that dragon hooked you through the shoulder, she just went sort of limp."
"Is she hurt?"
"No, Michael Coroner caught her."
"Who?" Harry demanded.
"A Ravenclaw from our year. Surely you remember him?"
"What's he look like? Do you know when he goes to meals? How many others does he travel with?" Harry growled.
Hermione merely scowled at him. "You're not going to kill him. He caught her, she woke with a start, blushed a little and said thank you. She hasn't said anything about it since!"
"If he fancies her, I'll kill him with my bare paws."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Harry, I hate to break it to you, but a lot of boys are going to fancy Ginny. She's smart, feisty and I imagine going to be positively gorgeous. It's something you can't protect her from. As her friend, you should want her to find… You did it for her, didn't you?"
"What?" Harry demanded. The thought train seemed to have jumped tracks and Harry had no idea where it was headed now.
"You did it for her. You entered the competition for her." Harry said nothing, but the guilty look on his face was all that she needed. She wasn't the brightest witch of her generation for nothing.
"You idiot! You are a git, Harry Potter. I can't believe you'd be so inconsiderate."
"What? What the sex are you talking about?"
"Don't you know a thing about her? She doesn't want an idol, Harry. Ginny enjoys you as her friend, her companion. Someone she flew an enchanted car with. She doesn't want to be rescued and if you'd have thought for one second you'd have realized that she doesn't need a knight in shining armour. She wants a friend, Harry."
"Well, I'm bloody well tired of being her friend!" Harry exploded. "I want more than that. She's been my human since I was little more than a kitten, and against all my better judgement I really fancy her, Hermione."
"Then prove it."
"What the hell do you think I was trying to do? I did something no one else in this school did. I'm the fittest, strongest and most agile male. What more does she need? I helped rescue her, I've killed a bloody big snake and we fought Acromantula together… That's it, isn't it? She had to save me, so she doesn't fancy me?"
"Harry!" Hermione shouted. "I'm quite sure she does fancy you a little, or she wouldn't be so put out with you at the moment. Your problem is you're treating her like a prize to be won. She isn't a Kneazle, Harry. She won't just swoon for you because you kill something or beat up Malfoy again. Girls are interested in more than that."
"What do I have to do?"
"Start by apologizing."
"How? She won't even talk to me."
"That makes it trickier, but you could try something romantic to get her attention. A card, with a little gift. Roses or jelly slugs, maybe? I don't know what her favourite sweets are. It should be something that really tells her how sorry you are. No whisky, though."
"Why would you think I'd give her that?"
"I heard Ron and Dean talking about it a few days ago. I don't want them influencing you."
"So, a gift that's not whisky, a card and apologise. What then?"
"Up to you, but I'd tell her how you feel sooner rather than later."
"You're okay with this?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I suppose it all makes a certain kind of sense."
"I think Ron might try to kill me, if he finds out."
"I doubt he will," Hermione scoffed. "He's so busy wrapped up in that tart…"
"Jealous much?" Harry asked.
"Not in the slightest! I'm just tired of her hanging around all the time. She's hardly even his type."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "And what, exactly, would be his type?"
"She's… I mean… I just thought he'd go for a girl with a bit of brain, that's all. He's plenty smart enough," Hermione sputtered.
"And you don't think she's brainy?" Harry countered. Before Hermione could answer though, the hospital doors burst open and in strode a very perturbed Ginny with Ron hobbling hot on her heels.
"You idiot!" Ginny screeched. "You could have gotten killed, do you know that? You're bloody lucky that dragon didn't have better aim."
"I thought you didn't care," Harry shot back.
"I don't," Ginny muttered far too quickly. "But," she continued, "you're supposed to be representing Hogwarts and you can't do that with a sexing great hole in your shoulder, now can you?" She leaned close with a predatory expression on her face. "If you ever do something like that again, Harry Potter, I will personally hunt you down and finish what the dragon started."
"I'm sorry you fainted," Harry whispered. His voice seemed unable to work properly right then. He'd forgotten how scary Ginny could be when she wanted.
"I didn't faint!" she scoffed.
"Leave him alone, Ginny. You can't just come in here shouting at him while he's still injured, no matter how scared you were," Hermione challenged.
"Why would I be scared?" Ginny demanded.
"Because you lo… oohfff!" Ron exhaled as his sister dug her elbow into his ribs.
"We were all scared, Ron," Hermione informed him. "You might have been, too, if you'd bothered to watch."
"Bloody hell! She kissed me, and rather unexpectedly. It wasn't like I went trying to snog the girl in the most public place I could think of, but we are dating. Couples snog, I don't understand why it bothers you so much," Ron huffed.
"You wouldn't," Ginny muttered.
"Stay out of it, Ginny."
"Hermione's my friend. I'll bloody well get into it if I want to!"
"You know, as refreshing as all this is, I am feeling kind of tired. Ginny, if you and Ron could dismember each other outside, I'd appreciate it."
"Get better then, mate," Ron offered and then glared at his sister as he limped out of the room. Ginny, was a bit more forceful.
"Remember, Potter, if you ever do that again, I'm going to eviscerate you with my own two paws. You've got two more to go, try not to get killed. It wouldn't look good for Gryffindor if our champion bit it. Ron!" she called after her retreating brother as she, too left the room.
"You know, I almost feel loved," Harry scoffed.
"She cares, Harry. Trust me."
"Almost as much as you care for her git of a brother?"
"Totally different. We're just friends."
"Ginny and I are just friends."
"But wouldn't you want to be more?" Hermione persisted.
"And you wouldn't?"
"We're not talking about me," Hermione replied.
"You're avoiding the question."
"Ron's a very good friend. I just don't want him to get hurt." Hermione turned and stared out the window. After a minute of silence, Harry spoke again.
"He watches you, you know. When you aren't looking."
"I've never seen him," Hermione grumped.
"He's very good at it."
"He's got Helga or Bratwurst, or whatever her name is, now," Hermione replied dismissively.
"He hasn't stopped. I think Bratwurst sees it too. Why do you think she keeps getting more possessive?"
"Whatever do you mean?"
"The snogging, the grinding, the biting."
"Biting? What biting?"
"He came in a week ago with purple marks all over his neck. I think Ron's molly is trying to mark him."
"I didn't see it!"
"Ron fixed it as soon as he realised. I don't think he wanted anyone else to see."
"And why are you telling me this? Is it supposed to make me feel better that my friend is in a clearly unhealthy relationship?"
"You're winning."
"Excuse me?" Hermione sat back a little on her stool.
"I said, you're winning. You're intimidating an older and, according to Seamus, absolutely gorgeous bird with the hugest tracks of land he's ever seen. She's scared of you, Hermione. So keep it up. You'll catch your tom eventually."
"I don't want to catch him, Harry. I just don't want her tongue jammed down his throat."
"Whatever makes you sleep at night."
oOo
"It's been two weeks!" Lavender complained. "I don't even fancy the bloke and it's getting on my nerves. I can't imagine what you're going through, Hermione."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Lavender," Hermione stuttered.
"Come off it Hermione, we all know you fancy him and the fact that he's been nearly shagging her on the breakfast table the past week. They've been writhing around like a pair of eels. I heard that was why we lost twenty points last night," Parvati scoffed.
"Nothing with any Weasley is going well," Harry muttered.
"Quiet, class," Professor McGonagall announced as she swept into the room. Everyone fell silent. "Now, before we begin, I have an announcement. This year we will be having a special celebration over winter break. In two weeks there will be a Yule Ball, and as fourth years you will be able to attend. Only fourth years and above may attend, unless, of course, a third year has an older escort to the ball."
A sudden explosion of chatter besieged the Transfiguration classroom. Harry's head spun as he vaguely heard discussions of clothes, boys, girls, breasts and complete trepidation about dancing as the room swirled. Harry slammed his head onto his desk a bit more forcefully than he'd intended.
"What's wrong?" Hermione hissed.
"Bloody hell, I'm going to have to watch Ron fret, you mope and Seamus and Lavender ogle each other while they think no one else is looking. Dean may or may not try and sneak in a bottle of Ogden's Finest, and I can hardly imagine what everyone else is going to get up to. This is going to be a sexing disaster."
"I do not mope!"
"You've been in a snit, ever since Helene staked out her claim on your tom. I'd mope about something like that, too. Now that there is some sort of romantic type interest in the air, hormones are going to go into overdrive and it's going to disrupt everything. My only consolation is I'm not going."
"Harry, you have to go!" Hermione protested. "We might not to get to do something like this again."
"And who, pray tell, would I go with? From what I gather, it is rather customary to bring a date of some sort, is it not? As cute as she might be, more than a few eyebrows might get raised if I brought Rex."
"Why don't you ask Ginny?"
"She still isn't talking to me."
"Sure she is, I saw you two have a conversation just yesterday."
"No, that was her lecturing me and me trying to protest while making a mash out of the whole thing."
"Still haven't apologised, yet?"
"She hasn't given me an opening!"
"You have to be forceful. Have you listened to any of the advice I've given you?"
"You said get her jelly slugs or something, but I haven't the foggiest what her favourite sweet is."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "It doesn't have to be sweets, you git. I just was saying something personal from the heart would do. That and a nice card or something."
"Something from the heart?" Harry questioned.
"Yes, something that only you could give her. You spent years with her from what you said. Can't you think of anything?"
Harry's mind whirled with sudden possibilities. A tumultuous storm of creativity suddenly parted to reveal the thing he'd been searching for the whole time. "I've got it!" Harry bellowed, leaping to the top of his desk triumphantly.
"Yes, Mr. Potter, I believe you do. Detention with me tomorrow night for disrupting class," McGonagall reprimanded. "Now please settle down and we can begin."
The lesson passed in a blur, and Harry managed to completely transform his log into a foot stool before anyone else.
"It just isn't fair," Hermione complained as they were leaving. "You've had years to practice this sort of thing."
"Don't be bitter, Hermione, it isn't Harry's fault he's positively meow-velous at this," Ron joked.
"Ha, ha," Hermione laughed mirthlessly. "Do the Germans find that sort of thing amusing, Ron?"
Even Harry was taken aback at the venom in Hermione's voice. "Hey, now. It was just a joke. Can't I joke with my friends?" Ron demanded.
"I don't know. Will your Fraulein let you?"
"She doesn't own me, Hermione," Ron retorted, brandishing his own glare.
"Doesn't she? So it was all your idea to go writhing around at breakfast like two eels in heat?"
"Eels don't come into heat, Hermione, and even if they did, what I do on the breakfast table is none of your…" Harry tuned out the bickering duo and patiently waited for the storm to subside. In doing so, however, he found himself listening to the knot of several Hufflepuffs who were passing. It seemed that Ron and Hermione's fights had become something of a general spectacle with their Gryffindor compatriots pausing to observe as well.
"Are they at it again?" Ernie McMillan asked.
"They've got to be shagging," Hannah Abbot confirmed.
"No way, have you seen the bird Weasley has been snogging? Why would he give that up to chase after Miss-Know-it-All?"
"You have no concept of relationships, Justin. Three Sickles they're snogging behind the German girl's back," Hannah offered.
"You're on," Ernie confirmed. "If you're serious about losing money, I'm sure there are some Ravenclaws who'd take you up on it, too."
Before Harry could discern the blonde girl's answer to the challenge a rather high-pitched and accented voice cut through the corridors. "Ron, zere you are! Komm, ve are going to be late!"
"If they don't slow down, she'll certainly be late," Susan Bones muttered.
"But, Schatze, I'm supposed to study a bit with Harry," Ron replied.
"Nein! You said you'd be vis me today. Now, komm. I do not vant us to be late."
Ron shot an apologetic look to Harry who merely shrugged. It wasn't as if the Kneazle-boy hadn't already made contingency plans.
"You'd better go, Ron, before Bratwurst has an aneurism," Hermione mocked.
"Don't call her that!" Ron demanded, his ears beginning to turn red. That was odd, Harry thought. Normally his friend's ears get red when he's upset, but the whole time Hermione and he were arguing they stayed their normal pasty white. Only now, when two mollies were involved and he was forced to defend one, did any anger surface.
"Why not? Aren't you going to stay with your friends? I thought you just got saying she didn't own you."
"If I thought you were my friend, I might stay, Hermione," Ron spat.
"Ronald, komm! Zis is in-excuse-eeble!" Helene squawked as she marched towards the bickering duo and grabbed her man forcefully by the arm. "Do not put him down because he is strong enough to attract a real voman," Helene sneered at her competition. A moment later she was dragging the unfortunate Ron down the corridor while alternately scolding him and promising what a good time they were going to have.
Hermione quickly wiped her eyes, trying to banish several unshed tears. The friendly hand of Seamus Finnegan patted her shoulder trying to offer what comfort a fourteen year-old boy could. "Don't feel bad, Hermione. It isn't your fault."
"What isn't?" Hermione sniffed, her attempt to hold back tears becoming less successful each second.
"That he ran off with her. With tits and an arse like that, she'd own me too. Try not to take it too hard."
For once, it seemed, Harry was able to observe a thorough cursing and not from the receiving end. Except perhaps for the now unconscious Irish boy, Harry thought it was likely informative for all involved.
oOo
Once again, Harry found himself painstakingly helping his Transfiguration professor restore bits of damaged parchment and books related to the subject. While it wasn't something particularly difficult, the need to sit still and focus was driving him crazy.
"Try and think about it like a hunting exercise," McGonagall interjected, rather suddenly, causing her pupil to jump.
"Pardon?"
"Sitting still, exercising your singular strand of self-control. You have to do the same thing when you're hunting, correct?"
Harry nodded slowly.
"If you treat everything as a learning experience then you'll never realise how much more you've learned out of simple everyday tasks."
"Oh… that makes sense," Harry admitted and resolved at once to try and put this nugget of wisdom to use.
"One more thing, Mr. Potter, since I was unable to speak with you about it after class yesterday. You will be attending the Yule Ball, and it is extremely traditional for the Champion to bring a date as they will begin the first dance."
Harry smiled a little, thinking of his plan. "I don't think that will be an issue, Professor. I plan on having the whole thing caught sometime tomorrow."
"I assume you mean that you will have found a suitable young lady?"
"I know just the one," Harry smiled.
"Not Rex."
"Why would you think that?" Harry asked, secretly relieved that he'd crossed the idea of any molly not on two legs firmly off the list.
"I should say, no Kneazles, but especially Rex."
"That's fine, Professor. I was wondering, though, if on that account I might be able to leave a little early tonight to find my lady a gift."
"A gift?" McGonagall asked, her eyes wide with astonishment. That used to be a Wizarding custom when she was little, but it had fallen by the wayside in all but the most traditional of families. Perhaps Sebastian had managed to be a suitable influence after all.
"Yeah, I suppose…"
"As we only have fifteen minutes left, Mr. Potter, I suppose you may go. Do try not to break too many rules."
Harry stood, stretched, and nodded. Then he quickly became furry and headed out to catch his gift. He had quite a bit of work to do if he wanted to make things right with Ginny by morning.
oOo
"Please tell me you didn't." Neville looked at Harry in the early light of the common room.
"Of course I did! Hermione said a gift from the heart that would mean something to her. No molly can resist breakfast in bed."
"Harry, Ginny doesn't eat raw meat."
"Of course not. I'm not an idiot."
"That's open for debate," Neville muttered.
"I fixed it with the house-elves last night. After she gets up, sees what I've given her, they'll pop in, take it and cook it specially. She can have a bit of a lie in and still have breakfast."
"Why a deer, though?"
"Not a whole deer. Even I know girls are a bit squeamish about their food looking back at them. Just the hind end. That's where all the really good meat is."
"You've had deer on occasion then?"
"No, but it's the same principle with rabbit."
"Harry, perhaps it's not my place to speak as I've never had a proper girlfriend, but somehow I don't think that half a deer hanging in front of her bed with the words 'breakfast is served madame' written on the flanks is the best way to win her over."
Harry scoffed. "This gets her from a human and Kneazle standpoint. How can she resist? I'm a fit tom with a considerate side, too. It's every molly's dream."
Further prognostication on Ginny's reaction was forestalled by an ear rending scream that pierced the morning calm. Both boys locked eyes. Neville's were filled with compassion, whilst Harry's held only fear.
"You sure that was a good idea?"
"It had to be one of her mates. Perhaps, I should have warned her first…" Harry trailed off.
"And ruined the surprise? How romantic would that have been?" Neville scoffed.
"Mate, I hate to break it to you, but I think in five seconds a very angry Ginny Weasley is coming down those stairs and going to hex you into oblivion."
"She wouldn't do that, we're friends."
"Friends or not, I don't think… SHITE!" Neville yelled as blue jet of magic barely missed his head. Another popped near his feet as the chubby boy dove behind the sofa.
"WHERE IS HE?" Ginny bellowed, her wand brandished and hair streaming in front of her face. Harry was mesmerized. Any human female could be pretty, he thought, she was gorgeous.
"You son-of-a-bitch!" Ginny bellowed casting several more spells in the direction of her longtime pet.
"I can explain!" Harry called out from behind a piece of scorched furniture.
"I don't want to hear it, Paws." Ginny yelled back.
Harry ducked and rolled as his hiding place was blasted into oblivion.
"Just give me a chance, Sparkplug," Harry pleaded.
"I've put up with a lot this year, Harry, but that was too much. You'll not use some sick joke to try and impress your mystery girl."
"It was for you!" Harry called back.
Ginny paused for a moment and Harry, sensing the opportunity to finally explain himself, stood up, dusted himself off and gave the youngest Weasley a roguish grin.
Ginny's eyes narrowed. "You almost had me, but this isn't a joke. You shouldn't have stood up."
"Wha…?" Harry's mouth hung open and he was sure his face was far from dashing or debonair. The girl's logic made no sense, not that it had to (she was after all a girl and both Seamus and Ron had quietly informed him that the female of the species is subject to their own set of eccentricities).
"I can't believe you. This was just a joke? There wasn't really a girl you're trying to impress?"
"I… erm… well, yes there was," Harry admitted. A bright blue jet of light struck him squarely in the face, and as bat-shaped bogeys crawled out from his nose, Harry thought that perhaps no other tom had ever had quite so much trouble with one molly.
oOo
"I'm not going, Hermione and that's final," Harry grumped. "I don't even know how to dance. What molly would have me? I'm certainly not going with any old girl."
"Harry, it hasn't escaped my notice that you've been approached by several witches."
"They just didn't feel right," Harry mumbled.
"You mean they weren't Ginny."
"What's the difference?"
"Harry, no girl likes a bloke who's obsessive. You tried, and that's all you can do at this point until she cools down."
"How long will that take, do you reckon?"
"This summer if you're lucky."
"What?" Harry asked, shocked. He'd hoped she might relax over the upcoming Christmas break, but if Hermione was right, then he was in more trouble than he knew what to do with.
"Harry, I talked to her a little. She thinks that you did that on purpose to embarrass her."
"Why on earth would you do that?"
"Apparently, some of the other girls have been teasing her rather harshly about the fact that you two had a row. She hasn't made many friends in her year, because she was always off with you and now that you two aren't on speaking terms they've taken the opportunity to be little gits."
"And how would that make her disregard eleven years of friendship? I only did this for her!"
"And once she figures that out, Harry, she'll come around faster than you can say 'sexing-dog-cheese', but those bints aren't making it easy."
"Hermione, I'm shocked at your language," Harry smiled.
Hermione shrugged and turned a little red. "Well, you haven't been hearing what they've been saying. That bit that Skeeter wrote about your 'mystery woman' is driving her barmy. She's been trying to
figure out who you fancy and why you never told her about it. I think I've been hanging around you too much, as well."
"Why didn't she just ask?"
"That's not something a girl just asks her best friend, Harry."
"Well, why would I be trying to play a prank on her, then? None of this makes any sense," Harry complained.
"Of course it doesn't, but she's feeling a bit out of sorts and I think they've really gotten to her. Now it she's seeing things where there just aren't any."
"Are all girls like this?" Harry asked.
"Most, have you figured out your egg yet?"
Harry shook his head ruefully. "All it does is make that awful squealing noise. Do you have any ideas?"
"I'm sure there will be something in the library." Harry smiled ruefully.
"I doubt they have a book on 'squealing eggs and what to do about them'."
"Oh, will you just come with me? Viktor Krum keeps hanging about and staring at me rather deliberately. I'm starting to get a little unnerved."
"Do you want me to talk to him?" Harry asked, seriously.
"Harry, your idea of talking to him would likely involve either a club or something pointy. I don't think you're allowed to attack another Champion even with an exceedingly good reason."
"I suppose. Do you really think they have a book out there? I was meaning to go check on the Unicorns today."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "You'll do that tonight, anyway. Professor Snape did tell us there was going to be a test on the last day of term. You might do well to study that."
"I suppose. Are you sure you don't want me to warn the git off?"
Hermione nodded. "You'll not always be around to protect me, Harry. Ron's already taken leave, so I suppose it's time I learned to stand on my own two paws… I mean feet! Blast, you're a bad influence, you know that, Harry?"
Harry merely shrugged as they strolled through the doors of the library and settled themselves into an area not readily visible to anyone incoming.
Losing himself in his work was more trouble than it seemed, as Ginny was constantly on his mind. What could he do to win her approval again? They'd been through so much; it seemed silly to fall out over something as trivial as this.
Somewhere along the line, a thought entered the Kneazle's stream of pondering. "Hermione," Harry began.
"Hmm?" Hermione responded.
"Go to the ball with me."
"What? You can't be serious!" Hermione demanded.
"Why not, I can't go without a date, and your tom is likely off having his tonsils removed rather forcefully through suction."
Hermione scowled. "That was not a mental image I wanted. Besides, it isn't like I actually fancy Ron, we're just friends. There will be other boys who'll ask."
"If you're just friends, then why are you so upset that he's taken?"
"Harry, we've been over this. Ron and I are friends. I don't want to see him hurt, that's all."
"So you're just friends?" Harry questioned.
"Mhmmm," Hermione confirmed.
"But you'd still say yes if he asked you to the ball then?"
"Well, of course. I mean I'm not sure how much fun it would it would be if I went with a stranger."
"Then why won't you go with me? Am I that repulsive?"
"Of course not! It's just that, well… it's different, Harry. I mean…"
"Ron isn't going to change his mind, Hermione," Harry admonished gently. In fact Harry had heard his friend obsessing about the state of his dress robes. Not something one would normally picture Ron ever doing.
"No, I suppose not…" Hermione mumbled. "Why do you want to go with me, anyway? I thought you weren't going."
Harry sighed the sigh of a Kneazle long suffering and promptly explained. "Well, I wasn't, but McGonagall caught me and explained exactly what might happen if I didn't show up. It didn't bear thinking about."
"Detention?"
"Worse, she was going to tell the house-elves to ban Kneazle treats from the kitchens."
"You've been getting treats from the kitchens?" Hermione sounded shocked. "I thought you weren't going to sneak down there anymore."
"Where else can I satisfy a treat craving at two in the morning?"
"You should bring your own."
"It isn't like they know it's me. They love the fact that 'familiars' are coming to visit, that's all."
Hermione glared at him. "If you want me to go with you, then I want something in return."
"Oh?"
"You have to swear to me by whatever thing Kneazles hold sacred that you'll stop abusing the house-elves."
"But it's not really…"
"Swear!" Hermione growled.
Harry sank another inch or two in his seat. "Fine, I swear."
Hermione brightened considerably at her friend's oath, binding as it was. "Then, yes, I'd be happy to go with you, Harry. As you said, it's just friends."
Harry nodded. "You're a lifesaver. I promise, if I catch the Ron and his molly alone, I'll even hex Miss Bratwurst for you." Hermione giggled.
"Thanks, I think. That's a real friend. Oh, Merlin, there he is again."
"Who?"
"Krum. He's staring holes in the two of us. I'm not at all sure I like it."
"Then let's blow this popsicle stand," Harry declared. Hermione stared at him with questioning eyes. "Something Sebastian said once," Harry shrugged. "He's got a million of those little sayings."
"Yes, let's, before he comes over and we have real problems," Hermione agreed.
"What do you mean real problems, Hermione?" Harry asked as they left the library.
"I don't want the two of you involved in some sort of scuffle, that's all. It wouldn't be good for anyone. He can't keep his eyes off me, and you can't keep your claws in. It's a recipe for disaster."
Harry shrugged. "I'm a bit protective of my friends, is that a crime?"
"No, but murder is."
It seemed to Harry that nothing could stay secret at Hogwarts for very long. As he was strolling down the corridor to Potions on the last day of term, Harry was accosted rather fiercely by three small Hufflepuffs known to Harry. There was Bridgette, the small girl whom Ron had helped earlier that year, and her two companions, Joe and Tim. All three had acquired a bit of a trouble- making reputation, and had declared that Harry was their inspiration and idol. This didn't endear their actions to anyone except possibly Ron.
"What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing, mister?" the first asked.
"Bridgette, what on earth are you talking about? I've done quite a bit, so you'll have to be more specific."
"Taking another girl to the Ball when you should be taking your girlfriend!" Tim declared, looking every bit as fierce as his female counterpart.
"Ginny isn't my girlfriend," Harry growled. It galled him to admit it, but it seemed that she might never be and he needed to start accepting that.
"You two broke up!" Bridgette gasped. "When, why, how?"
"We were never together," Harry admitted. "We were just good friends, but we had a bit of a misunderstanding and now she won't have anything to do with me."
"Did you try apologizing?" Bridgette asked.
"Of course."
"How about presents, Daddy always gets Mam something nice when he's in trouble."
"Yes," Harry groaned. He really didn't want to be discussing his failed attempts at any of this.
"So why are you taking the bookworm?" Joe finally asked.
"Don't talk about Hermione that way!" Harry shouted. "She's a friend of mine. We're going as friends because the people we'd rather be going with are otherwise engaged."
"So Ron is still snogging that trollop and your Ginny is in a snit?" Bridgette clarified. Harry nodded mutely.
"We'll have a talk with her, then," Joe declared.
"Who?"
"Both of them," Bridgette muttered. The two other boys nodded their assent.
"Harry!" The trollop and angry Weasley were both forgotten as another of that family hobbled as quickly as he was able to Harry's side.
"Ron!" all three diminutive Hufflepuffs cried.
"How's it going little badgers?" Ron grinned.
"Not too badly, but Snape gave us a test yesterday."
"He does do that," Ron agreed.
"But it was the last day of Potions before the end of term!" Joe protested. "He's a git."
"That he is," Ron concurred. "But don't let him hear you say that or you'll find it much harder for yourselves, and no pranks."
"Why not?" Tim whinged.
"Trust me, you can't pull the wool over his eyes for long. Now, what are you three up to, eh?"
"Trying to find out why Harry Potter is taking a bushy-haired bookworm to the ball instead of his girlfriend," Joe supplied.
"What?" Ron squawked. "Who are you taking, Harry?"
"Well, Hermione and I are going." Harry involuntarily took a half step backwards. The look on Ron's face was murderous. "But you know, just as friends…"
"Just as friends? So you don't, you know, fancy her?"
"She's just a good friend, Ron." Harry assured him.
"Why do you care? You're still snogging that German tart," Bridgette pouted, clearly unhappy about the situation.
"She's not as bad as you think, Boomer. Just give her a bit of a chance, and where did you learn a word like tart?"
"You said just the other day that Pansy Parkinson was the slaggiest tart that ever shagged. You also said she was so much of a bint that she gave other trollops a bad name."
"Bloody hell," Ron muttered. "Just don't go repeating that where the professors can hear. They'll know it was me for sure, and you should really know better than to listen in to private conversations."
"Of course not," all three Hufflepuffs assured him. "But you were talking rather loudly," Bridgette pointed out.
"Now, if you're through interrogating my friend on his date choice, would you mind if I borrowed him for a bit? We have some bloke stuff to talk about."
All three little badgers nodded and Bridgette gave their mentor a final salute, before they turned, linked arms and began singing. "Bints, trollops, and tarts, oh my!"
"Bloody hell," Ron groaned. "They'll get pinched and then I'll get blamed."
"Very likely, now what did you need me for?" Harry asked.
"You're going with Hermione, as friends?" Ron reiterated.
"Yes. Why, were you going to ask her?"
"No, I have a date, already. Besides, it isn't like I fancy her, we're just friends."
"That's what she said too," Harry mused.
"She did?" Ron asked, and for some reason that Harry couldn't voice out loud, that seemed to deflate his friend like a fast leak in a small tire.
"Well, yeah, but that wasn't what you came to ask me about," Harry pressed.
"No, it wasn't, was it? Well, erm… the thing is, Harry… what I'd really like… bloody hell…"
"The thing you'd really like is?"
"Can I borrow twelve Galleons?"
"What do you need twelve Galleons for?"
"You see… I knew this was a mistake," Ron muttered and turned to leave, his whole face was flaming red.
Harry grabbed Ron by the shoulder and spun him a little roughly. "Of course you can, Ron, but for as long as I've known your family, you weren't ones who'd accept help like that easily. Especially not you. I'm just wondering what changed."
"It's for Helene," Ron confessed. "She's my date to the Yule Ball, but all I have are the robes Mum bought me and I'm afraid she'll be embarrassed. I mean her family has loads, and mine… well, you know. I just don't want to make her think I don't care. I found some nice ones by mail order and if I send off for them shortly, I can have them in time for the Ball."
Harry nodded, understandingly. "Ron, does she know what your dad does?"
"Not exactly. I mean, I told her he works for the Ministry, but she sort of thinks he runs department of Magical Law Enforcement."
"And where, pray tell, would she have gotten that idea?"
"She sort of assumed and I haven't really corrected her."
"So if you show up in last century's robes, she'll know you haven't been entirely truthful."
"Harry, please! Look at her, she's smart, funny, three years older, bloody fit, and for some reason has decided she likes me. I can't embarrass her, I just can't," Ron pleaded.
"Ron, money isn't a big deal. You don't have to pay me back, if you don't want to, but I just want you to know, I don't like her."
"No one seems to," Ron grumbled.
"That might tell you something. She isn't very tolerant of your little badger friends, she's been a real bitch to Hermione and she's been rather possessive of you the whole time. The only thing she hasn't done is try and shag your best mate."
"She's not that bad," Ron protested.
"She is, but that's beside the point. If you're happy, who am I to say otherwise? I just hope she's worth it."
"Oh, she is," Ron assured him.
"One more thing."
"Yeah?"
"Why'd you call Bridgette 'Boomer'?
Ron chuckled. "She seems to have a real talent for making things explode. She's almost as bad as Neville in Potions, but whereas he simply makes it wrong, hers are a bit more combustible. Add in the mishaps she's told me about in Charms and Transfiguration, and she's a real boomer."
Harry chuckled. "I like it, it suits her. Can I give you the money after dinner? I don't have it on me."
"You're a bloody lifesaver," Ron cheered.
AN: Here comes 11. We're on the fast track to the Yule Ball for 12. I know, many of you are going to lynch me here because of the way Ginny is acting and Harry keeps screwing up. I hope Hermione's explanation cleared up a little bit of Ginny's dilemma. Kneazle Ginny is a fair bit different than Canon Ginny as she isn't dealing with the emotional aftermath of Tom Riddle walking about in her head. What do you all think of Helene? Has Ron found his one true love, or are things about to get messy? Find out next time on Teenage Mutant Ninja Kneazles! As a side note, I would like to give a shout out to Silverbirch and the story 'One of Nine' for the use of McGonyowll. I encourage anyone who hasn't read it to do so.