…I need to get more on track. Honestly.

::Hates on life:: I think I'm going to up this to M some time soon, if only because there's a lot of swearing/sexual references (but no actual lemon-ness). Plus it's short because I'm sucking.

You know the legalities. Lemme be.

"Come here."

"No."

"That was not a request."

Neji glared. "So? Fuck you."

"No, darling, fuck you." Gaara leaned against a palm tree. "You're so uptight. We're on a desert island in the middle of nowhere. We're teenagers. Teenagers fuck each other. Duh." He rolled his eyes. "Come on. I'm bored. You're bored. You don't need to look like someone sodomized you with a banana. It was just an idea." He crossed his arms to sulk.

This bothered Neji. It wasn't like he didn't sort of agree, they were bored and there wasn't so much to do, but he was not interested in having sex with people he barely knew. He voiced such indignantly, glowering at Gaara.

"Then get to know me. It's not like we have anything better to do." The red-headed boy stepped towards his peer. "You have any aversion to that?" Gaara raised an eyebrow.

Neji looked at him for a moment then shrugged, "Okay," he said, looking a bit bored, though he was masking his underlying nervousness. The two boys sat down on the sand and faced each other. "This is awkward," Neji said quietly.

Gaara snorted. "Thanks for stating the obvious. I had no idea. In case you weren't sure, and my explanation hadn't summed it up, I'm not looking for someone to cuddle up with and watch feel-good movies when we get back home. I'm looking for someone I can sleep with. Honestly, the less I know about you, the better. Unfortunately, I barely have any strings attached to you and you're not as picky as Uchiha, so if I need to listen to you talk in order for that to happen, then I'll do it. Even if it's stupid and pointless. But whatever. Talk."

Neji didn't think he had ever heard Gaara talk so much in one sitting.

"I'm Hyuuga Neji and…um…my parents are dead. I live with my uncle and my cousin."

"My parents are dead too. I live with my sister and my brother. I think we already know that."

"I didn't know your parents were dead."

"They are. This conversation sucks. I don't care. The song you wished you had lost your virginity to."

Neji blushed. "I haven't lost it yet."

This was so not part of the 'getting to know each other'.

"Eh. If you were going to lose it while listening to a song, what would it be?" Gaara glowered. Neji shrugged.

"I don't know. You?"

"'Again Again and Again' by Blaqk Audio," Gaara replied instantly. "Even though I actually lost it while listening to 'The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow'." This was met with a strange look. "He had a younger sister, okay? She played shit really loudly and it was annoying."

"Beethoven's fifth."

"What?"

"I'd want to listen to that."

"Honestly?" Gaara raised an eyebrow. Neji nodded. "Why that? It's…"

"Pretty good, actually." The dark haired boy shrugged. "It's just…um…"

"You know what? Forget it. If you want to listen to music that's older than sodomy laws while you lose your virginity, that's fine. Get an iPod though, because you're probably they only one in the world who want to hear that while they're getting sucked off."

"Are you always this crude?"

"Hell no. Just around you. Just because I can." Gaara tapped his foot on the sand. "I'm lacking in social skills here. I don't do conversations. You know why I'm doing it though." The look in his eyes was nearly lecherous. "Fine. Something else about me? Sometimes I fantasize about killing people and the only regret I have about my father's death was that it wasn't me who offed him."

"Why?"

"Because he was abusive to me and my siblings." Gaara cocked a non-existent eyebrow. "Temari wasn't always like that you know. It only started when she was fifteen or so. Before that, she acted pretty normal: generally levelheaded and nice to people who didn't piss her off. Now…" Gaara paused, seeking adjectives to describe his sister, "now she's a freaking psycho. That's okay, because I'm a freaking psycho too. Kankuro turned out the most normal." Gaara grinned a mirthless, sadistic smile. "And you? What makes you the way you are?"

Neji turned away. "I…"

"Oh come off it. Now isn't the time to get all blushing bride on me." This did nothing to stop the red spreading across Neji's pale face. "Just spit it out."

"My uncle hates gay people."

Gaara's eyes grew with mild understanding. "I see. That explains a lot of things about you and your major inferiority complex. What about your cousin?"

"She doesn't seem to mind them."

"Is that what you're worried about? Have they brainwashed you or something?" Gaara could feel intendancy rising in his stomach. "Has the denial made your feel like you need to compensate?"

"I'm not in denial!" the dark haired boy snapped.

Gaara smirked, "You're so deep in De-Nile you should just fly to De-Egypt."

"That's not funny."

"I could have just been beating you into submission. Like I said, I don't do conversation. I merely steal other's material and regurgitate it at what appears to be well-timed moments. Hell if I know." The red-headed boy looked annoyed. "Pretend you missed the Egypt joke. It sucks. I'm going to make Kankuro worry for putting it in my brain."

"Still not in denial."

"Okay, fine, you're not in denial. You're totally aware of the fact that you're wildly homosexual. Like Oscar-Freaking-Wilde. I swear, you're breaking my gaydar." Gaara blinked. "You know what? I'm not stealing anymore of Temari's lines. They sound stupid."

"Yeah, they do."

"I think I've had enough of this sitting and talking about nothing. If you change your mind, come find me. We can…eh…no witty come back. You know what we can do. You strike me as the type who could use a little pain in their life."

Neji blanched as Gaara retreated into the thicket of trees.

"I have…mangoes to count."

Nearby, behind a plantain tree, Temari and Hinata had watched most of this exchange. "Hinata?" Temari stood akimbo, watching the other girl scrutinizingly.

"Yes, Temari?"

"I love how your cousin won't screw my brother because they don't know each other well enough, not because he's not a masochist and not because he doesn't float that way."

Hinata merely tapped her fingers together and nodded.

"Hey, Hinata, you and I should go exploring in the-- why do you look so mortified." Kiba wrinkled his nose. "Wait…not like that! I meant really Temari doesn't want me to get lost so she told me to ask you if you'd go with me so I didn't mess with the natural ecosystem!"

Hinata blinked. "Oh. Okay then." She smiled. "No problem Kiba." She blushed and the two teenagers walked into the jungle. Hinata kept having to tell Kiba that hacking down the forest was a bad idea and not very nice to the plants. Apparently it worked.

"It's fun though," Kiba complained, handing Temari's machete over to Hinata.

"This is why she didn't want you to go out here alone. There would be nothing left." She wasn't used to talking so much. That was okay though, Kiba reminded her of a puppy (puns meant totally yes good chicken) and she had no problem talking to dogs.

They weren't judgmental.

Kiba didn't appear to be judgmental either. He just became obsessed with the flowers, moving from flower to flower, glancing down at them. He retained a child-like quality, which was strange for all his crudeness and teenage-angst-shit.

"Here," Kiba said, holding out a long-stemmed pink flower to Hinata. Hinata blushed, picking it out of the boy's fingers.

"Thanks."

"Yeah. Thanks for um…yeah…I really wanted to see what it was like out here. That's lame but I mean, we're on a desert island and I'm not sick or working or being hassled by really weird people, so I thought it would be cool to look around."

Hinata nodded. "It is."

"I actually don't think anyone has actually seen the jungle besides Shino and Ino because they were looking for foods and stuff. Everyone else just comes out here and does stuff that's sort of nasty."

This made Hinata blush like mad. "Oh…I guess they…do…"

"But not me," Kiba quickly assured. "I really truly only wanted to see the flowers. And the trees and the oh look! It's like a…squirrel with…only bigger and not as fluffy…with no tail. And giant pokey things."

"That's a porcupine Kiba."

"Oh. Then I suppose hugging it is out of the question."

"Very possibly."

Thanks to Purrple Kat who totally helped me write this (she's spending the night at my house. You can blame much Gaara/Neji interraction on her.

Go read her KH stuff (there's a Naruto something on there too). It's pretty good. If nothing else, it'll give you something to do for a while while you should be sleeping because it's the middle of the night. Excuse the Kiba...Hina...type stuff being so short. It appeared and then disappeared and then...then it drowned itself...in jello.