When Sam woke up two hours later feeling refreshed and invigorated, she decided it was time she began taking better care of her appearance. She realized the handsome man, who was currently sitting in her living room watching TV with the volume turned way down, was the determining factor. She looked down at her frumpy, pajama-clad body and ran a hand through her mussed, dirty hair and knew she had to do something about how she looked before Jack saw her again!
After taking a shower and washing her hair, Sam put on a clean pair of old blue jeans, which she was relieved to find almost snapped at the waist. A light-weight, gauzy blouse that hung over the waist band of the jeans worked well at disguising her slight tummy bulge, and a pair of white sandals completed the outfit. Then she blow dried her hair, fluffing it out in the back before she applied just a smidgen of pink lip gloss to her full lips and a modicum of pink rouge to her pale cheeks.
Sam never wore foundation, and she was grateful that pregnancy had not given her the blemishes or dark spots that some women got on their faces. She also had been lucky to not have even one stretch mark on her stomach or breasts, a thought that had suddenly occurred to her as she dressed. If Jack ever saw her naked, she wanted to look her best, she thought, and then she quickly vanquished such thoughts, as she reminded herself that their relationship would probably never involve nudity...at least not as long as they were both assigned to the SGC.
Shaking the tormenting thoughts out of her mind, Sam tiptoed into Katie's room and was relieved to see the baby was sleeping peacefully. Then she went to the living room and stood in the doorway watching Jack, who's back was to her. But, like the seasoned soldier that he was, he sensed her presence and turned his head, giving her one of his treasured smiles.
"Hey, Sam! Feeling better?"
"Yeah, I feel great!" She came and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa.
"You look great too! No one would ever know you just had a baby," he told her, honestly amazed at how good she looked.
Of course he thought she always looked great, even when she probably didn't think so. Over the years he had seen her in just about any circumstance, and to him she was always beautiful. If only he had a right to tell her, he thought wistfully.
Sam was at a loss for words, so she just gave him one of her mega-watt smiles, and that was more than enough for Jack. He studied her face in profile as she looked at the television, and he figured he had better tell her about Ashley now...before she heard about her from Daniel.
"Sam, I've been wanting to tell you Daniel's news. He found someone to catalogue his collection...the one he keeps at his apartment. Actually it was my idea. She's going to be living there for a while, until she gets back on her feet."
Sam looked over at him curiously, but she didn't say anything so he continued, digging the hole, in which he was trapping himself, a little deeper.
"Ashley's the daughter of a friend of mine. She's a college student, and she's studying sociology and anthropology, so the work will be good experience for her. Plus she can use the money. She's trying to save up to pay for next semester."
"A friend of yours? Who is it? I don't think you've ever mentioned a friend who has a daughter that age," she told him, pulling her feet up under her as she turned to face him.
"Ya, well he's an old, old friend from my black ops days. I don't talk about our history...for obvious reasons, and I haven't seen him in quite a while. Ashley called me recently...out of the blue... and I've been trying to help her out. She's at my place right now, but she's moving to Daniel's tomorrow. In fact, I promised to help her move."
By now his heart was pounding out a rhythm in his head that shouted, "Liar, liar, liar, liar!" Jack worried that Sam could read his mind through the window of his eyes, and so he looked back at the tv and held his breath, waiting for her response. When it came, he breathed a sigh of relief.
"That was nice of you...and of Daniel. I'd like to meet her some time. Why don't you bring her over to see Katie," she suggested. "And Daniel should come too. We can all have dinner together."
"Oh, I don't know...she's gonna be really busy working at Daniel's...and studying. But I'll tell her you suggested it," he said, and then he jumped up and headed for the small kitchen area behind them. " I think dinner's about ready. You hungry?"
"Yes, actually I'm starving! Janet said I might need to eat more while I'm breast feeding, and I think she's right."
Jack tried to concentrate on the task at hand, stirring the roux into the pot of beef juice to make the gravy that would complete the meal. But no matter how hard he tried, memories of seeing Sam's naked breast repeatedly rippled across his mind, like the shock waves on the surface of a pond after a rock has been thrown into the water.
Eventually Jack got the dinner onto their plates, setting them on the small dining table by the window. He poured Sam a glass of milk and got a beer out of the refrigerator for himself.
"Okay! Let's eat," he called out, and Sam grinned, as she was reminded of her father when she was a little girl.
Jacob Carter had always began a meal with those very same words. She wondered what her dad was doing right now, and if he was at all curious about his granddaughter, but she quickly pushed the unpleasant thoughts out of her mind.
'If Dad wants to see her, he knows where I live,' she said sternly. After Katie was born she had phoned him. He and her step-mother were out, so she had left a message with his housekeeper. So far he hadn't even called.
Jack had noticed the sad look on Sam's face when she sat down at the table. He hoped it wasn't a reflection on anything he had done or said. They ate in silence for a while, each consumed by their own thoughts. But finally he needed to ask her why she looked so down.
"Sam, is everything okay?"
"Yes, it's just that...I haven't heard from Dad yet. I'm sure he's just busy, but it still hurts," she admitted.
That she could admit as much to Jack was something kind of new for her. In the past she had always tried to hide things like disappointment and her feelings of inadequacy from him, but lately...not only was she opening up to him more, but she felt he was able to sense her feelings more and more as time went by.
"You want me to call him?"
"No! No, thank you. He'll get in touch eventually. I'm not about to beg for his attention. So please, Jack...Sir...don't."
"Okay. I just wanna help...in whatever way I can, Sam," he told her honestly and she smiled at him...not the mega-watt smile that he loved so much, but a warm smile none the less. It made his heart skip a beat, and he found it hard to take his eyes off her.
Sam found herself staring into his chocolate gaze, lost in the dark, liquid pools that enveloped her and made her feel safe...and something else...loved. And she felt compelled to do something to show him that she returned the feeling...some little thing.
"This dinner is awesome, Jack," she told him, and this time he noticed that she didn't correct how she addressed him. His first name on her lips was almost as good as if she had told him she loved him. After a few seconds they both looked away simultaneously, and the spell was broken.
Later that evening Sam was in the kitchen washing out one of the bottles she used for Katie's water, when Jack's cell phone rang. Thinking it might be important, and knowing that Jack was currently out in the garage adding some oil to her old Volvo, Sam picked up the phone and flipped it open.
She recognized Daniel's home phone number. She thought it was odd that he was at his apartment instead of at the SGC, and she wondered if something was wrong.
"Hello?"
"Hi! Who's this," asked a young, female voice.
Sam's forehead lined in a frown upon hearing an unfamiliar voice apparently coming from Daniel's apartment.
"Who is this," Sam asked in return.
"This is Ashley. I'm looking for Jack O'Neill," she said pleasantly.
"Ashley? Oh, yes, Jack mentioned you! You're the girl who's going to be working for Daniel. Jack can't come to the phone at the moment. May I take a message?"
Rather than go get Jack, Sam decided to talk the girl herself. Her curiosity had been aroused, and now she wanted to find out more about this young woman who was suddenly a part of Jack and Daniel's lives.
"I guess so. Is this Sam?"
"Yes, it is."
"Sam, could you please tell Jack that I have to go out for a while?"
"Ah...sure, I can do that," Sam answered, but she was very confused. Why did this young woman need to tell Jack that she was going out?
"Okay. Well, buy! Oh, and congratulations on your daughter," she said quickly, hanging up before Sam had a chance to ask her anything.
Sam was still staring at the little phone when Jack came walking into the house, wiping his hands on an old rag. He immediately saw his cell phone in her hand and suspected he'd gotten a call. And by the look on Sam's face, he thought it must have been urgent.
"Did I get a call from the SGC?"
"No, Jack. It was a call from Ashley...at Daniel's apartment!"
"Ashley's at Daniel's apartment?"
He grabbed his cell phone out of her hand and quickly pressed the speed dial number to Daniel's cell phone.
"Daniel? What's up? I thought I was moving Ashley's stuff to your place tomorrow?"
In truth he wanted to ask how in the hell Daniel had gotten in touch with Ashley or vice versa, but he couldn't ask too many questions in front of Sam, who was standing at his elbow and hanging on his every word.
"You did say that, Jack. But when she phoned here, Walter said some young lady was looking for you and did I know where you were. Of course I did know where you are, but I didn't think you wanted him to know. You know what a little snitch he is."
"Anyway, I thought it might be Ashley, so I took the call. And since I knew how busy you were going to be with Sam and Katie, I volunteered to help her move her stuff to my place. She's all moved in. She's very nice, by the way, and gorgeous too! Say, do you think your friend...her father that is...would mind if his daughter dated an older man?"
Jack suddenly had a coughing fit as he recalled he and Ashley humping like bunnies in her bed just a few weeks ago.
"Why Daniel?"
"'Cause I would like to ask her out, that's why, Jack."
"I see. Well, I'll have to ask my friend about that. He's pretty strict, you know, him being military and all," Jack explained.
"What branch of the military did you say he's in?"
"WAS in, Daniel. But he retired some time ago," Jack lied, knowing full well that Ashley's father was a drunk living in Athens, Georgia who had never served one day in the military. He glanced at Sam out of the corner of his eye and saw that she was drying some baby bottles with a dish towel. But for some reason...could it have been his own guilt?... he was certain she was paying even more attention to his phone call!
"I see. Well, if you think he wouldn't approve, I certainly wouldn't want to cause any problems between the two of you."
"Ya, I think that would be best, Daniel. Thanks."
"Okay, then. Is there anything else, Jack?"
"No, as long as she got settled in okay, I guess not," Jack said and hung up.
Sam was openly studying his face, which looked both relieved and confused at the same time. But suddenly she remembered Ashley's curious message for Jack.
"Oh, I almost forgot! Ashley said to tell you she had to go out for a while," Sam told him, and she watched as Jack's face quickly contorted into a look of anger.
"Jesus Christ! Did she say where she was going," Jack yelled at her, and Sam almost jumped back at the force of his voice.
"No, Jack, she didn't. Is something wrong? Why did she have to phone you and tell you that she was going out? Jack, I get the feeling you and Daniel are hiding something from me, and I want to know what it is!"
And Jack suddenly heard the other shoe dropping...or maybe it was it the shit hitting the fan.
"I'll explain later! I've got to go," he yelled as he literally ran out the door and jumped in his truck, gunning the engine the second the tires hit the street. She saw the break lights flash on and off, as he corrected his direction and then he was gone.
"Jack O'Neill, when you get back here, you are going to explain yourself to me, or I will know the reason why," Sam exclaimed angrily to the four walls, and suddenly there was the faint sound of a baby crying. "Damn it, now see what you've done!"
When Jack got to Daniel's apartment, Ashley was just getting out of her car, which was parked under a street lamp near the front door of the posh, high-rise. Jack jumped out of his truck and ran up to her, grabbing her arm.
"Hey! Jack, what on earth!" Ashley tried to pull her arm away, but Jack wasn't letting go. He steered her inside the apartment house foyer, thankful that there was no one in the lobby to hear what he was going to say to her.
"Ashley, what am I going to have to say to you, to make you understand that you can't go out by yourself! Particularly after dark! It's just too dangerous!"
"Jack, you're hurting me," she yelled, pulling hard to free her arm from his relentless grip. And suddenly her words filtered through his anger to his brain, and he realized that he was probably bruising her.
"God, I'm sorry, honey," he said, pulling her into an embrace, as he massaged her arm with his palm.
Jack was quickly becoming aroused, as his libido registered that there was a lovely body in his arms that was melting against him and demanding attention. He held her tight as she released her hold on the packages she'd been carrying, letting the shopping bags drop to the floor with a thump and rustle of tissue paper. Her arms came up around his neck, and she tilted her face toward his. Their lips met and Ashley moaned, opening her mouth to Jack's torturous tongue...the kind of torture she had been missing for the past few weeks.
The sound of the elevator bell warned them of someone approaching, and they quickly separated. Jack bent down and picked up her packages. An elderly couple stepped out of the elevator and gave them a dirty look, which both Jack and Ashley ignored. They got into the elevator car and Jack pressed the number nine. Neither one spoke until they got inside Daniel's apartment.
Jack put the bags on the floor beside the hall table, and Ashley set her purse down. She didn't look at him, and Jack suspected she was angry at him for causing her both physical and mental pain. Jack felt like an asshole.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I shouldn't have reacted like that. You know I was just worried about you, don't you," Jack asked her as he pulled her into his arms again. But he was embarrassed by his growing desire for her, so he loosened his hold on her and stepped back a little, holding her at arm's length.
"Yes, Jack I know that. And I'm sorry I went out alone. But I can't stay locked up here all the time! Sometimes I feel like you're keeping me locked up...not to protect me...but to protect yourself," she told him, pulling away from him.
She turned her back on him and began to walk into the living room, but Jack followed her, an angry look on his face. But he didn't touch her...he didn't dare or else his touch would burn her...just like his passion was burning his soul. He wasn't angry at her, but at himself, and she knew it.
"What the hell are you talking about," he almost shouted at her, his fists balled up tightly to prevent himself from grabbing her again. But deep down inside he knew exactly what she meant.
"I think you know what I mean, Jack. I see how you look at me...I can feel how much you want me, Jack. Yet, you say you're in love with Sam. You can't have both of us, Jack," she told him, and Jack's emotions got the best of him.
"Damn it, don't you think I know that," he yelled, his face turning a dark shade of red, the veins swelling in his neck. "I do want you, and I want Sam too, but I can't ever have her the way that I can have you," he admitted, hanging his head, as tears of remorse and sorrow began to slide down his cheeks. He'd never cried in front of anyone before, not even Sara.
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice choked with emotion, and Ashley put her hand on his head and pulled him down until his face rested against her head. He stayed there, bent over her petite form for a few seconds before he pulled back and tugged his T-shirt up to wipe away his tears. In doing so, he turned his back on her, suddenly ashamed of showing weakness, even to her.
"I don't understand, Jack. Why can't you have Sam? Her husband's dead now, so if she loves you, what's keeping the two of you apart?"
"It's the military regulations. I'm her CO. We're not permitted to have an intimate relationship. If we do and we get caught, we would both lose our ranks and get kicked out of the military...no pensions...nothing...even after all the years we've put in," he explained.
"Gee, Jack, that's really harsh! I'm sorry, I didn't know that."
"Well, now you do," he said as he turned back to her.
"Yes, now I do. And now I have to decide what to do about you," she said as she kicked off her high-heeled sandals.
"What do you mean?"
"Well," she said, stepping up to him and putting both arms around his neck as she leaned her soft, young body against his hardened, older one. The top of her head didn't even reach his shoulder when she was barefooted, as she now was. "...do I kick you out, or do I let you use me as a substitute for the woman you love?"
"I guess you think I'm an asshole, huh?"
"Yes, in a way, but a very sexy, hot asshole," she told him right before she pulled him down for a long, passionate kiss...one that made their legs feel weak. They broke for a breath of air, and dropped to their knees on the thick, plush carpet.
"I think I'll have to think on this problem for a while longer," she said, and then he began to make passionate love to her...right there on the living room floor of Daniel Jackson's apartment.
Ninety-five minutes later Jack was back at Sam's house, feeling every bit the asshole he knew he really was. Besides forming an unsavory opinion of himself, Jack had come to another conclusion that day; he had to get over Sam, and he had to allow her the space she needed in order to get on with her life. She wasn't his and neither was Katie, and no matter how much it hurt him, he had to let them go.
TBC