Beta reader: The Cleverest of them all: Misao, Queen of Iceland, Savior of Squirrels (Except when she wants to duck tape them to the wall) and Mistress of the Muffins

Disclaimer:

Gimli: I know a fic that gets on everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! I know a fic that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes, like this!
Enya: It is my fic that gets on everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! Of course my fic gets on Everybody's nerves because I DO OWN Legolas, he's mine! YAY!

Misao: Is it your fic that gets on Everybody's nerves? Everybody's nerves? Everybody's nerves? Or is it you that gets on Everybody's nerves because you DON'T own Legolas, he's mine!

Enya: 0o Wait! Yours? YOURS! No way!

Misao: Um, maybe not … hey look! A monkey!

Enya: (Looks for monkey) Where!

Misao: (Steals shake) Mmm … mocha.

Enya: No! Monkey!

Misao: Uh … (hides shake) … right … I will name it Squanto!

Enya: No!

Gimli: Let's name it Skittles! (Enya and Misao stare at Gimli)

Enya: What?

Gimli: Mine! (Runs away with Skittles the monkey and a packet of skittles)

Misao: Get him! (Enya and Misao chase after Gimli for Skittles the monkey)

Gimli: What's in your wallet?

Enya: A couple of credit cards, my keys, lipstick, money, a picture of Legolas…

Misao: Enya does not own lotr.

Enya: … roast beef, a pen, a notebook, a camera, a picture of Legolas…

Misao: Um … you can stop now …

Enya: … a fishing license, a picture of Legolas, a driver's license, my YMCA membership card, a picture of Legolas, receipts, a picture of Legolas, Thai to English dictionary, a picture of Legolas, an English grammar book, a picture of Legolas, a picture of Legolas, a picture of Emma Watson, a picture of Legolas, a calendar, a picture of Legolas, an address book, a picture of Legolas, a cell phone, a plane ticket, a picture of Legolas…

Misao: Enough Enya! He asked you what was in your wallet! Not the entire contents of your room!

Enya: But that was what was in my wallet.

Misao: 0o

Enya: I have a wallet purse.

Chapter 9: Dances

Everything in the dining hall was still the same; it appears as though I was the only one who needed to change. Thanks the enlightened one, Buddha, my luck seems to be a bit better as no one has seen me … yet.

I leaned back against the wall, much like someone from a SWAT team. However, I was shaking and trembling, my eyes were rolling; I looked so much like a yummy squirrel, nervously awaiting my doom. I was shaking, nail biting, and fidgeting, praying to Buddha no one would see me.

I am sad to say, but my luck did not hold. It seems that even Buddha has limits on how lucky you can be, for people started to turn and look at me, me who was backed up against the door, shaking. From the corners of my eyes, I can see my brothers heading my way. Good thing it didn't take long for me to escape into the crowd.

I feel as if I'm on a wildlife show: predator and prey. Me a squirrel, all of them lions, tigers, wolves, and hawks. But as I threaded through their midst, I bumped into someone. I felt like a squirrel caught in a trap, which, of course, showed in my language.

"Mother of God dammit and enlighten the strawberry jam on my piece of toast!" My bad habit is now back, though … a bit weirder than usual. Why am I starting to swear like a … like a squirrel! And what IS it with all of these squirrel analogies! I looked up straight into Fëanáro's face. The same one who has been avoiding me, so, I try to avoid him too. "Um… hi … sorry … er … bye!" And so I tried to leave but his hand grabbed hold of my wrist.

"Yul?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yes … it's me …" I replied slowly.

He looked troubled for a minute, and then he growled, "Even Erestor tried to fool me!"

"Fool you?" I repeated. "About what?"

"About you!" He said joyfully. "About you, milady." All the sudden, he dragged me to the dance floor. Dammit! Why are we dancing? He whirled me around, filled with happiness, and rested his hand on my waist. I felt, not shy, but not really confident, a bit confused, and a little shocked. "Uh … about me?"

"They told me that you were a male." He grinned. "But you are beautiful, I know that, very beautiful, more than lady of the light herself." Now he started caressing my cheek! Big ewww!

"Stop it, Fëanáro!" I whispered to him. It seemed like he didn't understand me. "Look, friend." I said. "When I first spoke to you, I just wanted to make friends." He frowned.

"I really don't mean it that way. So please..." I shook my head, pleading him with my eyes. His smile faded, but his mind seemed presence enough to still with the dance.

"Oh, I am so sorry, Yul." He bowed his head, but I stopped him.

"Can we still be friends?" I asked him. "I mean, I really like you, as a friend," I paused, trying to look distressed. "Please…"

He nodded gently, but in his eyes I could still see he hurt, while I did not. We walked silently, still holding each other's hands. I withdrew my hand, and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks," I said, and walked away. I had to give him some time to clear his mind.

"Such a sweet little couple." I heard, to my surprise, that it's Rachel. "You have found your one true-?" He asked. I turned around.

"Get out of my way." I seethed and tried to break away. "Fëanáro is, indeed, my only friend around here." I answered grimly. "Since the other two have shown me whether they want to be my friend or foe."

Yes, Elladan and Elrohir.

"They were just … being themselves," said Rachel. I eyed him dangerously.

"They were just… unforgivable." said Kanach. I gave him a look of thanks.

"Well, if that is what they are, then I do no wish to be associated with them." It was then, that Elladan and Elrohir walked straight into me. I turned around and looked them in the face, emotionless.

"We are really extremely sorry." One of them said. And they're good at it! I swear I almost believed them. They looked so distressed.

"It's nothing to be sorry about." I sternly declared. They looked even more distressed.

"No! We don't know... How do I explain? We're really sorry."

"You don't have to explain." I said emotionlessly. "I said it's nothing to be sorry about dammit!" I stepped back from them, breathing hard: I had lost my cool. Just as they were about to reply, someone grabbed my hand.

"May I have the pleasure of this dance?" Said an Elf. I turned around, and there was Rúmil! To refresh your memory, he was the one who saved me, that is, and then I saved him. So … we saved each other's lives only he did before I did and … oh just forget it!

"My good Rúmil! You are having a good time, right?" I asked pleasantly. "I have been meaning to visit you these past few days, but I haven't had the time." I shifted uncomfortably as Rúmil narrowed his eyes. His stare clearly said, "Do I know you?"

"I'm Yul." I said timidly.

"Ah!" Said Rúmil, he looked surprised. "You are a woman!"

"Unfortunately." I sighed. Then a voice from behind me interrupted.

"May I cut in?" GREAT! Yes, oh yes! Wait … I remember that voice … who is it...? Rúmil walked away and someone else replaced him. Before I looked up, I realized who it was. "Hello, Glorfindel!"

"It's me!" The man said. "Legolas." Dammit.

Sometimes, people can be wrong. So bear with me guys.

"I knew you were Legolas." I hissed back at him.

"Sure you knew." Mocked Legolas. "And you dance really well, ouch! Believe, oops, me."

Somebody just kill me. Please. I stepped on Rúmil's feet who-knows-how-many-times, and now I was doing it to Legolas. "You know what? At least Rúmil isn't rude enough to mention that." I said. "I am so god damn tired of this Legolas."

Then we spoke no more for a while. I felt Legolas' stare, but I ignored him. Don't call me old fashioned, but it seemed like a fairy tale. Damn, why don't I just stop thinking. I can feel other people's eyes too. A group of Elf maidens were dancing around me and Legolas, watching me with angry eyes that clearly told me to get away from Legolas. I ignored them.

It didn't take me a long time to figure out that Legolas was the most sought after Elf in Rivendell. In Mirkwood. No, Middle Earth. "I better leave." I told him, a little fearful. He arched a brow.

"Why?" He grabbed my wrist tighter as I tried to turn away. "The song isn't over yet, is it?"

"Don't you see those maiden's eyes?" I stared around. "If looks could kill…"

The aggressive Elf in front of me then smiled. "Maidens are cruel. Even friends are not allowed to dance." I feel irritate and uneasy with his word at the moment, and the two women beside me started stepping on their partner's feet.

"You want me to be hated by all the females in Rivendell?" I pleaded. Legolas smiled at me, but continued to twirl me around. Honestly, he is a very good dancer. He almost can almost avoid my feet all the time. At first, I kept apologizing, feeling embarrassed. Later, it became funny to me, and both of us giggled when I stepped on his feet.

"Please Legolas! Let us stop, these maidens will kill me tomorrow! For Buddha's sake." I stepped down on his foot so hard that his eyes widened and he cried out in pain. While he was busy with his sore foot, I fled the dance floor to the walls, to become a wallflower. Geez. Their eyes make me feel like throwing up!

I looked for Legolas on the dance floor, and I see him, poor Elf, dancing with a lustful maiden. I repeat, lustful. She danced like she was butter melting down Legolas' chest. Must…stop…thinking…about…that…DAMN ELF! ARGH! It's like he's brainwashed me!

I exited the dance floor, and entered the garden. The breeze played with my hair, the multi-colored flowers swayed softly, their aromas wafting around me, and water bubbled merrily in the fountain. I was calmed by it al, and sat down beside the fountain.

Softly, I hummed, letting my hand rest gently over the cool water. I can't believe I'm humming! Oh well, at least no one else is here to hear.

"Do you always cause problems?" I stand corrected. There stood Legolas, Elf of Greenwood, one who must stick his nose in other people's business, and loves to ruin moments such as this.

"I don't cause problems, they cause themselves and then seek me out. Like you. Are you insinuating that I'm your mother?"

"No, I'm not. You think I'm a problem?" His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were thoughtful.

"Only the maiden that was melting on your chest." I said matter of factly before we both grinned.

"You know Isil, maybe we could be friends." Legolas sat down beside me and smiled warmly.

"Not if you call me that."

3rd Person POV

"Mellon nin, we must talk." Elrond beckoned Celondir, who nodded in return before striding towards the group comprised of Elrond, Gandalf, and Glorfindel, standing in the corner.

"So long you have been missing, Celondir." welcomed Gandalf solemnly. Celondir bowed his head in greeting to all of them in turn as they welcomed him in ways similar to Gandalf.

"Many things have changed." Celondir turned his head towards the murmuring Elrond. "So very many things."

"Darkness survives, for the heart of Isildur was not strong enough." Gandalf finished Elrond's thought, for Elrond had said the exact same things to him only a little while earlier.

"Darkness will always live on, for wherever there is light, there must be darkness." Celondir replied in barely more than a whisper. "Just like without the night, there would be no dawn, it matters not what shape the darkness is in, it will always endure, like shadows in the daylight."

"Words of wisdom my friend, but maybe it will rise sooner than we thought." Declared the Maia. "The palantir is lost."

"Lost? What do you mean by lost?" Celondir demanded.

"Osgiliath burns." Glorfindel sighed. "It happened so suddenly…"

"Orcs are everywhere!" cried Elrond. "Last week a mighty band patrolled our borders, larger than any we have seen in some time now."

"Thranduil already informed me. Greenwood seems to be a very dangerous place when night comes. Spiders, orcs, and … well… but the palantir." Celondir paused. "Things can only become worse when they are not all accounted for. We must find them."

"Agreed."

"It will cause us great danger if we don't!"

Just then, a guard came and whispered something in Elrond's ear. Elrond narrowed his eyes at this news, and sent the guard away with instructions upon his ears. "Glorfindel." He interrupted. "Go get Rumil, Orophin and Legolas."

Yul

"I thought I told you already, Legolas." I huffed. "I hate dancing." Legolas just smiled at my flustered face and twirled me around. It was so dark that I could barely see the smug look on his face.

"But I love it and there is no other maiden in the garden."

"Sure…" I shook my head. "I don't even here the music … oh wait, never mind… can we please just stop though?"

"Of course." He answered, but kept still to the beat. I swear if he doesn't stop soon I'll-

"Ahem?"

I nearly had a heart attack. "Who the hell are you?" Legolas turned his head towards me, but I couldn't see his expression in the dark. I blushed.

"Elrond requests your presence immediately." Ah… Glorfindel, the Cockroach Elf that seems to appear out of thin air. Gosh that gives me the creeps!

Legolas looked as if he was about to say something, but Glorfindel cut him off. "It really is urgent." He tried to keep his melodious voice quiet but it carried in the fresh air, so I heard. Legolas walked off at once, leaving me with-hell no.

Why, why WHY? Why on Middle Earth is he leaving me here with Glorfindel. Shit.

3rd POV

Ornendil, son of Eldarcar had been murdered." Elrond said softly. (Eldacar was the King of Gondor. Yeah! Aragorn's ancestor! Ornendil was killed by Castamir during the time of the kin-strife.)

"I know not what we are going to face. For the Elves, the death of Ornendil seems to bear no importance, for he is of the race of man."

"His death comes to easily, something is not right." Orophin nodded in agreement to Legolas' statement.

"He was killed by Castamir." Gandalf repeated dryly. "Castamir has no right. Even though he is only half Gondorian, he is still the rightful king.

"But it is too easy, that much is certain. I am curious as to why he has become king, when just a year ago his rebellion was ignored." Gandalf scratched his chin as he finished. "Whatever helped Castamir to gain the throne is not something we should ignore."

"My brother and I will bring the word to Lothlorien after daybreak." Orophin promised.

"She will have valuable advice, I'm sure." Elrond gave his consent.

"I will go back home, my father will wish to know this as well. I leave after daybreak." Legolas mimicked softly.

"Go with haste and return swiftly."

Yul

&&Y!#&#( ($#&(&#&$#&#! I was walking back to my room after an uncomfortable encounter with Glorfindel. Bloody Elf with his bloody small talk. Stupid sodding Elf… we sit there in silence and what do ya know? All of a sudden he starts talking about … wine and cornflowers! &#&! I stomp my feet and slam the door. I can hear the wood splinter.

I don't care.

Stupid Uruvon! When did you start talking to Glorfindel just to wait for Lego-no. No no no no no, don't say that name. No … I just pity Glorfy because he has no one to talk to-oh dear Buddha. Why in the 101 hells did I just call him Glorfy? He's cockroach man! Not some sort of pet dog.

It's all because of Glorfindel and his sodding cornflower. Why the hell am I talking like the English. Fuck. Now I see the effect of cornflowers. What is a cornflower anyways…? I threw myself down on my bed, face first, and slammed my head into my pillow.

And started to scream.

"What the fuck is happening?" I whispered to myself as my mind wandered to Legolas again. OOOOOOH shit shit shit shit shit! Why the hell am I thinking about Legolas being charming? I can't even spell charming! See! C H A R M I N G. Oh wait … yes I can. Oh look, a dictionary! I'm going to look up charming. I had lifted my head from my pillow and my eyes were roving around the room. I grabbed the dictionary and fiercely turned the pages. Aha! Charming-noun. I spelled it right.

Why am I doing this? Why am I torturing myself in such a way? It was late, and I was too tired to want a bath anymore. I burrowed into the covers and fell sound asleep.

I felt someone's hand on my face. "Don't Sara. You know I always soak my mouth and…" I heard Sara giggle. It doesn't sound like Sara… "Ruby? Shelly?" I slurred. I tried to open my eyes, but they were too heavy. "I give up."

I really did give up. I pulled her down into my bed and rolled on top of her. She smelled lightly of roses, wool, and rain. "If my father saw us…" I started, and opened my eyes at last. 'She' struggled to get out of bed (we were tangled in the covers).

"I'd expect him to kill me." Legolas said. I screamed and jumped up.

"Why can't you just wake me up like Glorfy! Why can't you just throw a bunch of water on me or something!" I screeched. "Oh my god I am SOOOOOOO SORRY! I'm sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry!"

"Well one, Glorfindel will kill you if you call him that." Legolas laughed. "It's okay, mellon nin." I sat down on the corner of my bed.

"Tell me, why did you come into my room without my permission?" I crossed my arms.

"Well, I knocked and knocked and knocked for about 10 minutes with no response from you." Legolas chuckled as I blushed.

"You're extremely cheery today." I narrowed my eyes. "Are you sure you're not on happy pills?" Legolas looked confused for a moment before passing it off for nonsense."

"Ireth said that the only one who could wake you up was Glorfindel, so I decided to come in and wait." Legolas continued.

"For what? A thousand years?" His smile waned.

"Nay, mellon nin. If you didn't wake up before dawn, you wouldn't see me for a long time. A very long time."

"What?"

"Last night… well … I have to bring urgent news to my father." Legolas looked sad. "I must go." For a long time, we looked at each other blankly, mainly because I had no idea what to say. A glimmer began to show faintly in the east. It's light was small, but it seemed to shine only on Legolas, and illuminated his face with red light. It was such a contrast to my mood.

"Will … will you come back?" Was that my voice?

Legolas looked deep into my eyes. Mentally, I berated myself. Of course he's coming back! I hate it when I'm this girly!

"Yes, I will." He replied softly. "You have my word." He bowed his head and pressed his lips lightly against my hand. "Milady."

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Enya: There is something I really must apologize. Well, this is my worst chapter from all. (Beside my REAL first chap, the one that I posted down before Misao beta it for me)

It is suck, cos I felt like Yul has some feeling to Legolas very damn quick. But if I slowly described it. Surely, it'll take me about more than three chapters. Which will lead us to nowhere save losing ma time and your time.

Bare with me. Will you? Please? Alright then!

Misao: I DIDN'T DO THE SQUIRREL STUFF IT WAS ENYA! (Points at Enya) She's EVIL! EVIL I SAY! Oh, and sorry for the slow update.