(I don't own Dragon Age, Torchwood, or Bloodsong 13T's work. Special edition chapter!)
-Barkspawn-
When I was young, my boy was the only thing that mattered to me. But then there was another boy, and then that boy was the only other thing that mattered to me. I had two boys, and I loved them with all my heart.
Then I lost one. He left, and I was left with only my other boy as the pointy eared one left. I remember I was sad, but I still had my other boy, and the people often do things I don't understand. People didn't make sense a lot of the time; they did things like leave, or not share their food with me, or not like dogs. That last one really doesn't make sense.
But then I lost my other boy, too, and then I had no boys. I was alone. Everything was gone, even my boy.
Until I found the boy I lost first, and then I had a boy again.
That is why I do not leave Assan's side, lest I lose the only boy I have left. He isn't as small as he used to be, but then again neither am I.
This small space, on the other hand, was pushing it. I could smell the Bannon boy's scent and that of the Warden-smelling Zevran on these clothes, and I did not like Bannon. He did not like dogs. I do not like to trust boys who do not like dogs. I had allowed Assan time to chatter with the Fenris elf, and now that it had worked in making him feel better, it was time to leave this closet.
I stood up and shoved the door open with my nose, letting myself out. I looked over my shoulder and let out a low whoof and Assan took the hint, climbing out of the space and squinting as his eyes adjusted to the light after being in the darkness for so long. Fenris followed and the two elves both stretched.
"I've been away from Hawke too long," Fenris decided, "one of the first rules we had back in Kirkwall was to not leave her alone for too long."
"Because of Templars?"
Fenris sighed, "I wish."
"Hmph," Assan yawned and patted my head as he passed by towards the door, already straightening out his suit and tie; I sneezed as his scent passed my nose and I pressed my side against him. I wondered if he would be able to sleep, if he tried, or if the nightmares that wake him would keep him from rest. I whined, and he patted my head again.
But no. Despite the fact that I could even smell his exhaustion, it was so strong, Assan went with Fenris back to the others instead of off to sleep. I made sure to scope the room out, bounding into the room a couple steps ahead of my boy. The others were rounded round a table, and when I entered Bird leaped up and came over to greet me. Our tails wagging, we sniffed each other before letting our attention turn to the people as the room delved into silence.
"Assan, I..." Zevran, Assan's Zevran, cleared his throat before standing up from the table. He'd lost his shirt, but the mage Hawke seemed to have it in the pile that sat beside her chair.
Assan shook his head, "bull?"
Zevran collapsed back down into his chair, relief flooding from him in waves, "bull."
Assan pulled up a chair beside the elf, but Zevran didn't try and offer the shiny thing to him.
Bird tilted his head, 'help?'
I wagged my tail, 'help.'
Satisfied, Bird got comfortable at Hawke's feet, enjoying the pieces of pizza the mage snuck to him. I sniffed around under the table, smart enough not to go near Bannon. I doubted the elf would appreciate it, and I was anything but a rude mabari. His scent was a little like Assan's, and I only dared enough to sniff at Bannon's feet when he was preoccupied with getting angry at Hawke, and recognized the underlay of a blood scent not too dissimilar from Assan's blood scent.
Well, they may be related but that didn't mean they were related enough for me to care. Bannon doesn't like me, and the two elves didn't seem to know their blood scent was close enough to the same to be related, so it wasn't really my place to figure out how to alert them to the fact, now was it? My first boy's family had been fond of family reunions, and I did not want to spend more time than I have to around a dog hater.
Satisfied with myself, I turned my attention away. I could practically smell the awkwardness between the people, but the mage was quick to break it.
"Want to play, Assan?"
"Me?"
I twitched an ear, glancing up at the table above me; no doubt, Assan had that puppy-like frown on his face this very moment.
"Yes, you! Bannon tried pretending he didn't know how to play, which was very clever, sure, but not enough of a challenge. I need better competition than these bozos."
"Hey!" the 'bozos' took offense.
"I'm not much of a challenge either, Hawke," Assan admitted, "last time I played I gave up and seduced my way into my opponent's pants."
"Me too, I helped!" his Zevran said excitedly, "not for lack of trying, Assan! You lost more rounds than anybody's even so much as suffered through against Isabela. What was it? Twenty rounds before we threesomed our way into getting you dual wielding lessons from Isabela?"
"Threesome?" Jack spoke up, on the edge of his seat as his attention caught, "what's this about a threesome?"
"Jack," Ianto grumbled. I huffed in agreement.
"Isabela?" Hawke's voice piped up, "oh! So that's what she meant when she put that emphasis on met when she told me she met the Hero of Ferelden!"
"Yeah, yeah," Owen grumbled, nearly kicking me as he leaned back in his seat, "how about we talk and play cards at the same time, yeah? I have shoes and a watch to win back."
"And I want my stopwatch back," Ianto huffed, squirming as Jack leaned his foot out under the table and rubbed his shoe against Ianto's leg. Oh! Zevran often played this game with Assan! I quickly army crawled forward and rolled over into position, allowing Jack to rub my belly instead. Free belly rub! Haha, sucker!
Bird crawled forward, joining me under the table, sniffing at Jack's idle foot, 'my turn.'
'I thought of it first,' I growled, turning my head towards the other mabari.
'Well, now I know about it,' Bird growled back, 'not fair. I helped your boy. You owe me.'
'You get to be in the presence of my boy. See? You've been rewarded!'
Bird bared his teeth. I gave him my biggest smile, pleased as can be.
'Hawke's presence is better than your boy's, therefore it trumps that, and so you still owe me,' Bird sniffed, glancing back at Hawke before looking back at me.
My smile quickly turned and I bared my teeth and let out a deep, grumbling growl. Bannon jumped and nearly whacked his head off the table peering under it, giving us both suspicious glares. Ianto, who was right next to me, peered under the table worriedly as well, smiling a little as he saw me stealing his leg rub to get a free belly rub. His head disappeared back up.
"What are you looking so happy about?" Jack asked a couple seconds later.
"Oh, nothing, sir," Ianto said casually, "nothing at all."
"Nothing?" Jack pouted, and rubbed his foot against my chest a little harder than before, "you sure?"
"Pawsitive," Ianto replied. Bannon raised his head back up from under the table, the scent of amusement flickering from him. I would have laughed if I could. Even Bird lost an edge of his anger, seeming to forget about the disagreement as he stared up at the bottom of the table.
Jack lifted his foot higher, "well, how about- what the?"
He'd lifted his foot too high and had missed me all together, and he peered under the table, frowning at me.
"And what are you doing?"
I gave him a big happy dog grin.
Everybody else peered under the table, too, except for Assan.
"You sly dog," Assan's Zevran gave Jack a huge shit-eating grin, "now just who were you playing footsie with?"
"I- how do you know I was playing footsie?"
"That's how Barkspawn gets free belly rubs," Assan said from above the table.
'Hey!' Bird barked, 'your boy's switching cards!'
I wiggled and barked, flopping onto my stomach. If Assan needed me to continue distracting them from what he was apparently doing, then I was more than willing to oblige.
"Awww..." Gwen reached forward and patted my head, "he was only trying to get his belly rubbed, Jack."
"He is kinda cute," Jack said, petting my back.
"Cute?" Bannon gave me a dirty look, "that thing's not cute. I bet it's killed more people than you've ever met."
'I bet you've killed more people than they've ever met,' I wagged my tail at Bannon.
'Hah!' Bird twitched an ear in agreement, 'as the people say, it takes one to know one. Fangs and blades, what's the difference?'
"Are you guys playing or not?" Assan questioned. They all ducked back up.
"That's right! Time to get that expensive looking suit you're wearing," Hawke said, "let's play!"
Assan won with the upper hand he'd gotten while they were preoccupied. Hawke, Bannon, and the Zevrans gave him a run for his money, but in the end the head start won him the game, though there was a moment near the end where Jack figured the game out enough to be a challenge. Not that it helped.
"I said he couldn't beat Isabela," Zevran told them later, "I never said he was bad at it."
-Bird-
"These are phones," Jack declared, presenting the My People with black square stones, "you'll use these to keep in contact with us. Ianto's already put in all of the contacts you need."
"Even the pizza?" Assan spoke up.
"Ianto's already put in almost all of the contacts you need," Jack said, before pressing on one of the sides of the stone he pulled from his pocket. The stone lit up like a torch and I tilted my head at the thing as the My People's scents lit up with confusion and awe, "you press this right here," Jack tapped his finger against the lit surface, "and then tap on the number you want -scroll down or up if you need to- and then hit this little green phone symbol right here."
They all hurried to follow, though Assan actually went and hit the green button.
A sound came from Ianto's pants and the Other Human pulled a stone from his pocket, "good job, Assan. If somebody calls you, just hit the green to answer."
"And we can just talk to you through this?" Hawke turned hers over and over, examining it before she activated the lighting up of the stone.
"Yes," Ianto pressed the stone to his head, "you'll talk through it like this."
"How close do we have to be to who we want to talk to?"
"You can be miles away."
"Wow," Hawke tilted her head at her new rock before grinning and lighting her hand up.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Jack grabbed her hand and held it away from the stone, "do not light them on fire. Or drop them in water. They do not do well with fire or water."
"What about if I electrocute it?"
"Don't do that either," Jack let go of Hawke's hand as the fire dissipated, "now, if this symbol in the corner right here turns red, that means that it's dying."
"Where do we bury them?"
"You don't," Ianto pulled a couple of odd looking strings off the desk beside him, "you charge them. This end goes in this little port right here, and this end gets plugged into an outlet on the wall. Do not stick things in the outlet other than this, and do not touch the metal when you do so."
The stone that Fenris held made an odd noise, and all of My People turned to see. I craned my neck up to get a better look.
"That's my feet," Fenris said, tilting his head at it, "what is this?"
"A picture. Think instant painting."
"How do these work?" Assan questioned. Did the elf ever not question?
"Magic," Jack replied.
"No," Assan looked up from the stone, "how does it work? These pictures, these phone? How?"
"I just told you: magic."
Assan shook his head, frustration clear on his features, "mages can harness magic because their bodies hold a closer bond to the Beyond than those without, which makes it easier for demons of the Fade to possess them due to the closer connection. Blood magic works better than magic because it harnesses the very being of a person, making for an even closer connection to the Beyond, but absolute power corrupts absolutely, and so those who use blood magic get themselves corrupted to evil. Everything has an explanation. So how does the magic for this work?"
Jack stared at the elf as if Assan was a puzzle he hadn't quite figured out yet.
"Why don't you google it?" Ianto offered, "or maybe Tosh can explain it to you."
"What is a Google it?"
Ianto stepped forward and took the elf's phone, tapping on it, "this is google right here. Ask it whatever you want to ask and it will answer, but it only knows things that are on the internet."
"Internet?"
"This is gonna be a long night," Jack sighed.
"And don't forget we still need to get their pictures, talk to them about first aid, and introduce them to guns," Ianto spoke up.
"Please don't remind me."
About a hundred questions from Assan later, the Other Humans moved onto something they called first aid with Owen.
I liked first aid with Owen, because I thought watching him argue with Hawke and Assan to be hilarious.
"That's not how you do it, you have to have the perfect balance between helping and not breaking their ribs!" Assan said, as Owen tried to explain something called cee-pee-arrrr, "the Dalish do it all the time!"
"Why do we need this? Are you insulting my healing magic? I'll have you know that I've mastered the Spirit Healer branch of magic!" Hawke spat.
Owen's face was very very red as he argued back with them. The majority of first aid with Owen was spent enjoying watching how angry the Other Human could get.
After that it was gun time with Jack. I did not like guns. Of course, I don't like most extremely loud things, and neither did Barkspawn, and so Barkspawn and I both watched as far away from the things as we could.
"Safety off, aim, fire," Jack told them, demonstrating, eyeing Fenris warily when the elf spat at him when he tried to hands on demonstrate with Hawke, "you guys give it a shot."
Zevran, Hawke, and Assan snickered.
"Give it a shot," Zevran elbowed Assan. Assan laughed.
"Are these the minifireballs?" Hawke piped up.
"Yes. These are so you can shoot people if you need to. Only if you need to."
Hawke smiled innocently, "where's Bannon's Zevran?"
"You're not killing Bannon's Zevran," Fenris said casually.
"Not kill. I simply have a favor to return."
"Hawke."
"What?"
"No," Fenris told her.
"Excuse me?" Hawke raised her hand, "will these fireballs kill somebody?"
"They can," Jack answered.
"So if an elf got shot in the ass-"
"Hawke," Fenris gave Hawke the 'no' look that her friends usually end up mastering.
"Uh, we are clear in the idea that it is the other Zevran whose rear is at risk, no?" Zevran spoke up nervously.
"Yeah, other Zevran."
"Oh, good, good."
"Nobody is shooting anybody, okay?" Jack clarified, "that's not what these are for."
"Isn't that the whole point of them?" Assan spoke up, "you literally just said that these are for us to shoot people if we need to."
"If you need to," Jack repeated, "and- for the love of- will you guys just try them?"
Fenris lifted his and fired. The shot went wide and hit the white of the paper.
"This is stupid," Fenris decided.
"You didn't do it right," Zevran told him, "he said aim. Not pull the trigger wherever you'd like!"
The elf aimed the firestick and fired it. A hole appeared in the left eye of his target.
"Haha! You see?"
"Whatever," Fenris scowled, "its stupid. A blade works just fine. This is why I use big swords, not little bows."
"It's loud," Assan stared at his, "I don't see the purpose of these."
"Assan, when it's a life or death situation it doesn't quite matter how loud you are," Jack told him.
"But won't it chase all the animals away?"
Jack sighed, stopped, and took a deep breath, composing himself, "Assan, you don't need to worry about that. Ianto told you about stores while you were all getting clothes, didn't he?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then you don't need to worry about food."
Assan frowned, staring at the firestick. He looked sad, "that's not- fine. Whatever."
"Da'len and Spidey aren't here, mi amor," Zevran told the elf.
"I know," Assan muttered back.
"Why don't you give it a shot, Assan? You, too, Hawke," Jack nodded to them, "just give the guns a try."
Gun? Firestick makes more sense than a name like gun.
Assan sighed and lifted the gun. His shot blew through his target's neck with pinpoint accuracy.
"Alright," Jack gave the target a queasy look, "uh, wouldn't it be easier to just shoot through the eye like the other elv- uh, others?"
Assan gave him a look of confusion, "but then my arrows might chip on the skull!"
Jack sighed again, "okay, I just- won't that be a bit messy, to go through the neck?"
Assan just stared at him, "we can rinse off in a river."
"I..." Jack shook his head, "you know what? Okay. Do any of you know how to use non lethal force?"
Everyone but Fenris lifted their hands, waving them excitedly.
"Okay, uh, how about you, Hawke?"
"Set them on fire! You'll know exactly where they go!"
"Ummm... how about something less likely to kill somebody? Assan?"
The elf smiled sweetly, "shoot them in the knee?"
"No, I- you know what, your world and its people concern me," Jack said, "Zevran?"
"Assan took my answer," the elf pouted, "I suppose you could always be boring and tackle someone to the ground."
"And stab them so they can't get away!" Assan beamed.
"Exactly!" Zevran grinned, "and then we can stab them!"
Jack ran his hand through his hair, grumbling under his breath, "two. Two elves was enough. And now we're stuck with five elves and a mage. A mage. A damn magic-using mage. Okay."
I barked.
"And two giant dogs," Jack grumbled before raising his voice so they could hear, probably not knowing that the elves had probably heard him quite well, "how about we try going over this again?"