Thrillseekers

written by: albe-chan

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, drinking, nudity, mild prostitution, kinky sex, infidelity, etc.), and/or violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

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It was less than a fortnight later that the Burrow was, once again, playing host to all and sundry of the various Weasley relations, even those not quite related by blood. Teddy Lupin had just arrived after he'd been invited by both his semi-girlfriend and godparents to a picnic lunch to celebrate Lucy Warrington (nee Weasley)'s, impending birth in seven and a half months or so.

"Ah, Teddy, just the wizard I was hoping to see," said Molly Weasley, glancing up almost the instant Teddy had passed her by after using the single loo at the Burrow, and poked his head into the kitchen where the woman he'd long considered his grandmother was at work, even when his biological one had still been alive, and smiled politely.

"Something you needed, Mrs. Weasley?" he asked, stepping into the homey, well loved kitchen he'd eaten in as a child and received more than one scolding in to boot. The near constant hum of activity in that busy and undoubtedly worn space was a still wonder to Teddy as an adult, that Molly Weasley had magic enough to make everything work in perfect tandem, and he was as awed at

"Yes, dear. Come in, come in. Pass me that bowl, would you?" Molly Weasley said, flicking her fingers at a shelf behind Teddy, and he passed her a massive glass bowl that had a self-stirring spoon and appeared to contain sugar and various spices.

"Anything else you needed?" he asked, knowing full well his almost-grandmother would have summoned the bowl in a heartbeat without even sparing a thought for it. Obviously Molly wanted words with him, and he braced for the uncomfortable questions about why he and Victoire, her eldest biological grandchild and an obvious favourite for the matriarch, were no longer together.

"When do you plan to tell everyone?" Molly Weasley asked calmly, watching over a massive, exuberant knife that hacked up apples from the orchard efficiently on her huge wooden cutting board.

"Tell everyone wh-?" he began nonchalantly, but then Molly looked up at him, wiping her hands on her apron and grasping the huge knife from the air. Her chocolate brown eyes bored into him with a determined, utterly knowing sort of stare, and he felt as if he was standing naked with all of his secrets stripped of him and laid out for Molly Weasley to see, and he cringed a little.

"We both know what, Ted Lupin." Molly was still staring at him with that knowing stare, and the Metamorphmagus knew exactly what she was talking about. And it certainly wasn't to do with her eldest grandchild, and most definitely with the youngest. Teddy fought the urge to cringe again, because this was not how he'd anticipated

Teddy felt his heart racing, even as his face paled and he gulped guiltily. There was simply no lying to the formidable witch that was Molly Weasley. Hell, she'd killed Bellatrix Lestrange in the Battle of Hogwarts after the crazy bitch murdered his parents for Merlin's sake! Teddy had always known, and felt instinctively, that there was no way he'd ever be able to lie to Molly Weasley, or do anything but confess the truth.

But instead of confessing the truth, like he was thoroughly tempted to do, Teddy let his Auror instincts take over.

"Why do you ask?" he questioned lightly, pitching his tone soft and curious. Molly's brown eyes, crinkled with age but sharp as ever, regarded him seriously.

"Because it's obvious to any who bother to look you're interested in my granddaughter," Molly replied shrewdly, even as the flurry of pie-making, controlled by wandless, ancient magic Ted was positive he could never master, continued around them. He was tempted to probe which granddaughter the older witch referred to, but bit his tongue.

"Maybe," he hedged, "but it's not precisely anyone else's business, now is it?"

Molly tutted, then sent the large knife to the sink to be washed, snapping her fingers to send the chopped apples to a massive bowl behind her. Cinnamon and brown sugar and a secret blend of other spices soared over to dump themselves into the bowl with another flick of the witch's fingers. "Do you love her?" she asked after a long moment where Teddy simply watched in awe, like he'd done as a little kid on visits to the Burrow.

At the question, and the lifted brow Molly shot him when he didn't immediately respond, Teddy's face began to flood with pink. "I- I, er, well- I mean, that's to say-"

"So you do," Molly said, cutting across his flustered stuttering matter of factly.

"Look, Mrs. Weasley," Teddy tried again after clearing his throat awkwardly, but Molly glared once more. "Nan," he amended, "it's complicated."

"Most matters of the heart are," the elder witch agreed. "But I'll give you the same advice I gave your mother in this very kitchen too many years ago, Teddy." She looked at him almost sternly, but her face was warmed with a motherly smile as she reached out and patted his hand with her gnarled, flour covered one. "If you're not afraid to feel it, why not tell the world, hmm?"

"She won't-" Teddy admitted, feeling very much like a kid again as Molly chuckled at him, patting his hand again.

"I'm sure you're both worried about the reaction from us Weasleys, dear," she said, turning away, much to Teddy's relief, because her knowing, warm stare was thoroughly unnerving, "which proves you're both astute enough to know us Weasleys tend to get hot headed from time to time, especially when things we've accepted as the norm change." She glanced knowingly back at the young Metamorphmagus, smirking. "But my dear boy, we all saw Victoire's date, after all. We might be upset at change, but Weasleys always adapt." Teddy nodded, still privately thinking Lily would never be able to tell her family they were once upon a time seeing one another romantically, let alone even want to talk to him again. "And don't forget that even though she's not a Weasley by name, Lily is still one of us, Teddy." And with a wink, she turned back to her work, now laying her flawless pastry into dishes.

"Thanks, Nan," he said, smiling a little now. Because if that didn't mean he had to make his stance clear, to not just Lily, but the world, he know what it could mean. Teddy was certain he'd never be happy unless he tried to make it work with Lily, and gave her his all, the way he'd wanted and been half-afraid, after his split with Vic, to do. But Teddy wasn't going to let guilt hold him back any longer. He all but ran from the homey, well worn kitchen of the Burrow and out into the back yard, coming up short at the mass of mostly red haired witches and wizards. "Shit," he breathed rethinking his strategy, and then started forward again, looking instead for Roxanne Weasley, who was not only much easier to spot, but would undoubtedly know where Lily had gone.

"Teddy!" Fred Weasley called, waving him over from Teddy's peripherals, and when the Metamorphmagus turned his head properly to decline, he spotted both the witch he'd been searching for originally and her much more easily distinguishable cousin.

Right there stood Roxanne and Lily both, but Teddy found his gaze couldn't move once it landed on the lithe redhead. All at once his pulse sped up, even as his heart seemed to float upward in his chest to choke him, his stomach flipping around the extra space. She was so beautiful in her little white lace crop top and the dark jeans that hugged every last one of her curves and fit like a second skin over her miles long legs, her lovely hair curling and waving everywhere and begging for his hands to be buried within. And then she smiled at him, cocking a brow.

"Everything alright, Lupin?" she asked casually, her tone politely impersonal. He both saw and felt her hazel eyes rake over his somewhat tousled hair, the way he drew sharp, impatient breaths from hurrying, and the wild look he knew would be in his amber, almost wolf-like eyes.

"I need to talk to you for a second," he replied flatly, and, not caring that she probably wouldn't like it, grasped her by the hand.

"Sure," she said through gritted teeth, subtly trying to tug her hand away. "Excuse us just a second, Rox."

The redhead let Teddy lead her away, even though she was furious. "Teddy," she growled as they finally stopped in the middle of the lawn. "What are you doing?" she hissed, hazel eyes flashing. "Are you trying to-?"

"We both know I don't give a damn," he replied, and Lily's mouth pursed. "I don't want to pretend I barely fucking know you anymore, anytime I'm near any member of your family, Lily," he replied. He opened his mouth to add the three words he wanted so badly to say but hadn't ever found the courage to, but Lily beat him to the punch.

"Well I do give a damn, and I don't want everyone to know-" The redhead abruptly stopped talking, and sighed heavily, looking down.

"Know what?" Teddy asked in a low voice. "Know that you're seeing me?" He didn't have to say the rest. The words, unspoken as they were, still hit home to Lily. Or know that you might just be happy, and make me happy, and we're actually fucking phenomenal together, even outside the sex?

"It's not that," Lily whispered. She looked up again and Teddy wanted to kick himself when he saw the tears sparkling, unshed, in her eyes. "I don't want them to know I just picked up my big cousin's ex!" She bit her lip, as though she were going to say more, then thought better of it. The Metamorphmagus heard the words she didn't say. I don't want them all to think I couldn't find my own man and just stole someone else's because I fancied him, but for all the wrong reasons.

Teddy couldn't help it and stepped closer, holding both of Lily's biceps gently, and replied, unable to help smiling a little, "It's a little late for that, sweetheart." Lily glared, but Teddy hastened to clarify, lest the sexy redheaded vixen think he meant he'd told anyone. "Your Nan just confronted me in the kitchen," he murmured, bending his head to say it low against her ear.

"What did you tell her?" Lily demanded, still glaring up at him, and Teddy bit back a groan at the urge to haul her up against himself, stride far enough past the wards to Apparate, and fuck her into next week.

"Nothing. She told me what I already knew."

Lily's brows pulled together. "Now is not the time for fucking riddles, Teddy," she snarled.

"You're right," he said, moving his hands slowly but surely up her arms and over her shoulders. "Now is the time for action. I love you. And I don't give a shite who knows anymore, so long as you do." The words, as terrible as he felt he'd delivered them, seemed to resonate within him, and he felt something being lifted from him, making his whole being lighter, easier to carry.

"Teddy," she whispered huskily, and this time he couldn't help but groan, just the tiniest bit.

"And if you don't love me back," he added, swallowing past the lump of nerves in his throat, hating that the thought made his chest ache and shrivel in pain, "then you'd better stop me now before I kiss you right here." His hands finally came to rest on her face, cupping her jaw lightly, and he leaned down dangerously close, hating that he'd just laid it all out on the fucking line, in a way he was never comfortable with, and was left waiting, braced for rejection. "Lily," he said, and he watched her lashes flutter.

His mouth met hers in the same moment she melted to him, and as the kiss rapidly deepened, he felt her hands smoothing up his chest and over his shoulders hungrily as their tongues touched and rubbed sensually together. It was an affirmation of the feelings that had been building within Teddy for ages, feelings he'd just now given name to properly, and his heart soared as Lily snogged him hungrily as he kissed her with abandon.

Time seemed to slow down, or possibly become elastic, and all Lily could think about, as she surrendered to Teddy's kiss like she had every damn time, even when she knew she shouldn't have, was how much she wanted to tell him she loved him back. She tried, with tongue and lips and even teeth to tell him just how much she adored and needed and had come to rely upon his presence with just her kiss, and revelled in the groan that filtered headily into her mouth from his.

Instead of the words she wanted to shout, though, when he finally pulled back, all Lily could do was breathe softly against his lips, "Fuck."

Teddy chuckled at her. "I'd like to, sweetheart," he admitted, then glanced up, hearing someone definitely wolf-whistling and some definite sounds of shock. "But we've got an audience, you know."

Lily blinked, then realized where she was, and what she'd been doing before Teddy had obliterated all thought by kissing her. "Oh shit," she breathed, eyes going huge, mouth parting as panic set in, and she pulled back from him as if his flesh had stung her. "Teddy wait, we can't just-! What are we going to tell Victoire, or - oh fuck, my parents!?" she mumbled, even as she spotted Roxanne moving over, looking questioning.

Teddy merely looked at her, face falling the tiniest bit before it became the bland, impersonal face of an on-duty Auror. "I was thinking we just tell her and them what we tell everyone else. That I love you, and I want to be with you," he said softly, then smiled sadly, making something in Lily's belly wriggle uncomfortably. "But I suppose it's ultimately up to you, Lily," Teddy added, looking resigned and slightly put out.

The redhead bit her lower lip, her heart and her head warring within. Her heart wanted nothing more than grab Teddy's hand, swallow her nerves, and declare her love for him in return before telling her entire extended family, which would be torturous, surely, but bearable. It was the brave thing to do. But the pragmatic part of her, the same side that had so meticulously saved every spare bronze knut to launch her dream career, had Lily hesitating, knowing now was certainly not the best time, and they were utterly unprepared, and this was certainly going to blow up hugely in their faces. The logical voice of her brain told her to make the wise choice, even if it was the cowardly one, and simply shove Teddy away, tell him to get out, and end it all right then. It wasn't ever supposed to happen anyway. There's no way you could ever really be with him, because everyone would always find out eventually.

The redhead stepped back from Teddy, heart surely breaking, out of his embrace and said in a quiet voice, husky with emotion, "I think you should go, Lupin."

"So you don't-?" he snarled in a low voice, then scoffed when she wouldn't meet his hurt, accusing amber eyes.

"Just fucking go, Teddy," she hissed, chancing a glance up and wincing as hazel met amber and she saw that haunting expression on the face she'd seen wearing a thousand others and yet not a one more chilling. "I… I don't think this is going to work anymore," she breathed, unable to speak as a hard lump formed in her throat, her body betraying her attempts to make the wise choice in life, for once, concerning Teddy Lupin. Lily turned her back on him as tears stung the corners of her eyes and the tip of her nose tingled warningly then grimaced as she came face to face with Roxy.

"Looks like you've got a free space for another standing appointment, then, Potter," said said softly, and then, with a loud crack, he abruptly Disapparated out of the Burrow's back garden. The redhead felt a tingle of his magic shiver up her spine, leaving Lily gritting her teeth against her tears and trying to hold it all together as her heart shattered into unbearably tiny shards.

"Girl, you best be telling me about exactly what the fuck that just was!" Roxy said, and Lily gulped, forcing herself to smile, eyes still stinging.

"That, Rox, was the epitome of a bad decision," she said airily, hoping her voice didn't catch or waver. "C'mon, bum me a fag and I'll give you all the details."

Four hours later, Lily was beyond glad to be going home. Of course, she'd have left sooner, but after Teddy's little stunt that half her family had seen firsthand, and the other half had heard about in minutes, she'd been questioned thoroughly. And with a surprising amount of curiosity about Teddy in bed than she'd cared to ponder from her female cousins. The only ones who didn't ask her what that whole kiss had been about, or teased her mercilessly for it, had been Victoire, her grandparents, and her father. Only one of whom Lily thought was actually furious about it all.

She was tempted to simply curl up in her armchair with a good book and spend the rest of her evening doing nothing more strenuous than reading, getting lost in another world, but she knew there was work to be done. The redheaded witch took a seat at the cramped little desk she'd had since forever, pulling out a fresh sheet of parchment and waving her wand lazily to Summon the charmed typewriter she'd stored in its box underneath. With a few complicated wand patterns and another flick of her wand at the locked and heavily warded drawer, she pulled out the manuscript she'd been steadily working on over the last year or so, reading through the last handwritten portion, the one she'd edited to death and held secret for so long it almost hurt to think about sending it out, to be typed properly.

She was certain that if her book was ever published, which she hoped it would be, and be successful afterward, her family would be in an uproar about that too, so she told herself they'd get over the fact she'd hooked up with Teddy. That Teddy Lupin was, at least until that afternoon, her boyfriend, when it seemed like barely a month ago he'd been Vic's. Lily's mouth turned down a bit at that and she pushed thoughts of an Metamorphmagus wizards from her mind as she cranked her parchment into the very old fashioned Muggle device she'd found in her Grandad's shed and taken home to fix.

Since Lily could remember she'd loved writing. She could remember spending hours in her room simply scribbling away ideas, and short stories, and enjoying it immensely, even if it was entirely private. It didn't require anything special except her imagination, which she reckoned had always been distinctly vivid, and some paper and a writing utensil. And by the time she'd gone off to Hogwarts, Lily had written a full length novel and a half dozen short stories already, and even with her workload, had only gone on perfecting her craft while at school.

The words flowed from her as she slowly buried herself in a realm of her own making, and blocked out the awful afternoon she'd had. Telling her whole family she had, yes, kind of, been seeing Teddy for awhile, in a mostly not serious way, but there was nothing more between them to date. Lily typed until the sun had set and darkness was thick outside her windows and the candles had burned down rather far. Her fingers and back ached, and she swore her eyes would go if she kept working so late into the nights, but she'd successfully buried any and all thoughts or memories of Ted Lupin, at least for now.

When Lily next showed up at her parents' house for Sunday dinner, after skipping two weeks in a row, the redheaded witch came braced with good news that she hoped would fend off any uncomfortable talk about the last time she'd seen her family. She didn't mention in her owls to her mum that she wound up picking up extra shifts at work for the sole purpose of skiving, so she wouldn't have to possibly see Teddy. She wouldn't have to see the heart-crushing sadness and accusation in his amber eyes that still haunted her dreams every damn night after she tossed and turned, trying not to let her mind wander to the Metamorphmagus who'd stolen her heart.

She told herself, with surprising frequency, that she had made the right choice, the smart choice, in regards to a real, honest, public relationship with Teddy. It simple wouldn't ever work, because every single bloody Weasley would have something to say about it, along with the other non-Weasley relations, and she was positive her father would be furious. She hadn't yet spoken to Harry Potter about dating his godson, or sleeping with him, because Lily was honestly just too scared of seeing her father so furious as he'd been at the lunch when she'd seen him while talking to her mum. And if she ever did try to have a real go of things with Teddy, assuming she'd ever have the chance, Lily was pretty sure her dad would flip out.

To her surprise, when Lily slipped into the kitchen, only her mother was present, humming an old Quidditch tune as she cooked, the enticing scents of spaghetti bolognese and garlic bread wafting through the air. The younger redhead breathed a sigh of relief though, because she knew her mother wouldn't make things awkward and would, undoubtedly, be the most excited by Lily's good news. "Hey, Mum," she said, smiling brightly, and hugged the other witch as Ginny beamed.

"Lily! You finally got a weekend free to come see your family? Oh, I think I must be dreaming! We'll definitely need to mark down this rare occasion on the calendar," Ginny teased, releasing Lily, who nicked a few croutons from the massive bowl of Caesar salad already on the table, and then plonked down into her usual seat.

"I figured it would be good practice," Lily said lightly, trying with zero success to smother her grin. Ginny shot her a confused look. "Missing dinner," she clarified.

"Lily," Ginny said scoldingly, a frown on place, washing her hands and drying them brusquely on her apron, and Lily laughed aloud, reminded of when she was being sassy as a pre-teen to her mother and received a similar look of impatience. She was even in far too good of a mood, and decidedly high spirits now that she was sure she could finally reveal her secret career path, to even think of a certain turquoise haired wizard she still missed with an indecent frequency and intensity, considering she'd ended things. "Stop being purposely confusing, and tell me what the bloody hell you're on about. Why in the name of Merlin would you ever had to practice missing dinner with your family, honey?"

Lily bit her lower lip, still unable to smother her grin, and finally told her mother what she'd done just that morning. "I wrote a book," she admitted, giggling giddily as her mother's brows shot up in surprise. "And then I spent like way too many years editing and rewriting and working on it," she continued, still beaming, and watched Ginny fall into the seat her husband usually filled, reading the paper before Sunday dinner, looking completely floored. "But I can finally say it's finished, properly finished, and…" Lily hesitated for a beat, knowing if she mentioned the last bit, her mother would undoubtedly read her book if it should ever be published, and that was kind of ultra cringe-worthy to think about. But the redhead knew the short term joy and self accomplishment, and the pride associated with it, would far outweigh any awkward conversations that may or may not take place in the long term. "I sent it to a couple publishers, and, if it gets accepted and anyone likes it, I'll be a proper novelist."

Lily laughed, face aching with her happiness as her mother sat in silent shock for a beat, and then Ginny Potter seemed to recover, digesting the news properly, and her eyes filled with tears even as she stood and bustled over to Lily. "Oh, honey! That's wonderful news! I'm so proud of you, Lily! I'm sure your book will be published too, honey, I just never knew you…" She trailed off, wrapping Lily in her arms, and the younger redheaded witch smiled widely, hugging her mother back as the elder redhead embraced her tightly. "I always knew you were doing something constructive when you'd shut yourself up in your room," Ginny said, beaming, and stroking Lily's face softly after pulling back from the hug. "I really am so proud of you, honey."

"Thanks, Mum," Lily replied, no longer even trying to suppress her grin. "So where are dad and Al and Jamie?" she asked, her curiosity finally taking precedence over her excitement at her personal achievements.

"Oh, your brothers haven't shown up just yet, and your father is just outside taking care of the-" Ginny replied, going back to the stove, but was interrupted when the back door opened, and Harry Potter himself came into the kitchen, smiling at his wife. Lily grinned at him, even as Harry's Auror instinct told him to look about, but his expression hardened when landing upon his youngest child and only daughter in the next moment. "Harry, Lily has some fantastic news to share," Ginny said, leaning in to receive the kiss he automatically leaned in to grant her, but Harry's emerald eyes were still on his daughter, looking cold and hard, and his mouth was, uncharacteristically unsmiling.

"Dad, what's-?" Lily began, even as her stomach churned uneasily, certain things were about to go to Hell, but then her father, startling her, cut across her brusquely.

"I'm not sure I've ever been more disappointed in you, Lily," he said somberly, and the redhead felt as if she'd been physically slapped at the blow of those words, flinching slightly.

"Harry!" Ginny chastised, but her husband paid no attention.

"Dad," Lily began, voice wavering with uncertainty, because she'd never seen her father look at her like he was currently doing, as though he felt absolutely nothing but disdain and disappointment for her. Harry merely shook his head.

"Tell the truth, Lily," he replied, folding his arms. "Were you ever going to tell us about Teddy?" Lily, who was shocked that after everything, it seemed like her father was mad at her for the whole Teddy debacle, felt her mouth part in horror. Because she sure as hell wouldn't have ever told anyone about her relationship with Teddy, and she was still kind of upset that he'd just outed them to his entire family without even bothering to consult her. Lily's shoulders stiffened as her defensiveness started to sway toward outrage.

"No," she said coldly, glaring at her father's hard expression, even though part of her wanted to curl up into a ball and sob her eyes out. "I wasn't going to tell anyone, because it's no one else's business." Lily couldn't help standing, because if this was going to be the reaction to her coming to Sunday dinner, she'd rather not be present with both her brothers, who would also, undoubtedly, have loads of comments that would push her buttons.

"It wasn't anyone's business," Harry agreed, with a stiff nod, that had Lily shocked into stillness once more. "Until you compromised one of the best Aurors I have on payroll," he continued, finally unfolding his arms and looking, after a long sigh, like a man who was too old and stressed for this sort of melodrama. Lily looked properly guilty for that. She hadn't thought about anything, in that moment she'd pushed Teddy away completely, about anything or anyone besides herself. She sure as hell hadn't spared much thought for how Teddy would feel at her insistence he leave her, right then, for good, because she was too scared to commit to him and admit it to the world. She'd been, ultimately, afraid that other people might judge her, instead of knowing the only opinion that truly mattered, loved her, and could care less what their pasts might entail.

"I never meant to…" Lily whispered, trailing off when she couldn't speak to the awful things she'd probably done to the wizard she found herself loving still, despite his absence and the fact Teddy Lupin most assuredly hated her right then.

Harry shook his head, mouth in a hard line still, even as Ginny wrung her hands nervously, miraculously silent as she watched the scene unfolding, chocolate gaze flicking back and forth between her husband and daughter. "That's not really good enough, Lily," Harry said with awful finality, and Lily cringed slightly, hating that the disappointment lacing her father's words was almost painfully tangible. "I will always love you," he said, making Lily's hazel eyes jump up to that quick, emerald pair of eyes that she'd always secretly envied Albus for inheriting, and not herself. "But right now, Lily? I'm not quite sure I like you."

Lily nodded miserably, because, now that she was finally feeling the guilt of Teddy, the thoughts of him racing through her mind, and the dull ache in the cavern where her shattered heart used to reside that resulted, the redheaded witch was feeling pretty shitty about herself too. And, she knew, that it wouldn't really matter if she mentioned that she'd broken her own heart in an attempt to save herself, to avoid the messy entanglement of Teddy Lupin. She would still be the sole reason she and Teddy had snogged once at that fateful bloody barbecue and never spoke again, the one to blame for a secret relationship she'd hidden for months, and had let happen when Teddy wasn't even single. Lily would always be the reason no one ever really talked to Teddy much. And, her father mostly hated her for it, as much, she reckoned, as she definitely regretted what she'd done.

But bravery, Lily now knew without doubt, couldn't be chosen retroactively. And if she ever wanted to mend what was surely broken, both in her family and romantic relationships, she'd undoubtedly have to talk to Teddy. And that was something Lily wasn't entirely sure she could handle, at least, not yet.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I know this took a million years, and I'm actually really sorry about it. Let's just say, life is fucking crazy sometimes. Hope you enjoyed, and thanks to everyone who reads and reviews! :)