Don't hate me for this chapter. I hated me a little bit for this chapter.. Hang in there though you will love it, I promise! Lol well.. okay anyways.

Did any of you check out Jane-By-Design-Lover's story? How about Bree6112? Please go see them they are wonderful!

Okay on with it! (short story here: I reread my intro paragraph out loud to check for mistakes and I got a little teary, I may or may not have cried. I'm a wimp and it's okay.)

Oh also! I completely forgot to say this and I totally meant to, in this story Jeremy still works for Donovan Decker and India is away. Eli is here but for the pure fact of my fiction he doesn't do much (I love him, don't get me wrong, I just love Jeremy more ;))

xxxxx

Sometimes in life what you want most is taken from you. Sometimes you can't get it back while other times you have to suffer and see it in the arms of someone else. When my heart broke, my world shattered and I fell to pieces in a moment. I had to watch Billy tell someone else "It's you" and I couldn't take that. I couldn't take the pain of knowing that was once me... and I was too late because I didn't get it when he told me. Then my world really crumbled when I lost my job. Not only did I lose out on having Billy be more to me, I lost out on having a job that had been my dream for so long. So many things went wrong that day, so many emotions and hopes were crushed.

Now it doesn't matter, I'm going to get my job back. I'm going to make everything all better and even though I can't fix my broken heart, I can fix my broken spirit.

The texts and calls from Jeremy only got more desperate as time went on:

Jane- Gray has gone mad.. She's gone through ten assistance since you've been gone and she's completely overworked. You need to get here NOW. Nothing has gone right since you left.

Much love,

Jeremy

Jane-I really need a response. We don't know what to do here, Gray trusts NO ONE. There's a huge runway show and she's MIA. Jane?!

Jane- Where the hell are you? We need you, NOW.

Jane- Gray is withholding our pieces. DD will only fail if someone doesn't talk some sense into her! This is serious!

I can try; I can save Donovan Decker from losing its reputation in this industry.

Surprisingly I get a few texts from Billy but I ignore them, I can't let the heartbreak I feel for him control me anymore. This time I'm choosing my job over Billy. When I think that thought I begin to cry ugly tears as I'm driving to Donovan Decker. I'm leaving him behind, I'm letting him go. I let out a loud sob almost losing control of the car. I don't think I could ever let this boy go. I need to though because he has someone he loves and it isn't me anymore.

I arrive at the place I haven't been since my termination and all the memories come flooding back. I check my face out in the mirror and frown at the ugly red blotches sprinkling my face. I wipe away what I can of my tears and get out of the car and race into the building.

Before I even reach the door it is being flung open for me, "Jane! Thank god you're here!" Jeremy's English accent was filled with stress and has lost all charm. For some reason anyone that works here has an unknown desire to keep this name reputable. "Jane, are you alright?" He asked switching from stressed to concerned. "Yeah, I'm great. Where's Gray?" "Okay…" He says unsure. "She's in her cave right now."

We're rushing to get to the back where Gray's office is located and I look in through the clear doors to see a very not put together Gray. She looked ten times more tired than she usually did, her hair was a mess, and she was wearing.. I gasp. "Oh my god, Jeremy is she wearing-" He cut me off, "Jeans? Yes. I have never in all my time here seen Gray wear jeans." I close my hung open mouth at such a surprising sight and we walk in. Gray's scribbling a mile a minute on papers and erasing like crazy. She's ignoring her phone which is ringing off the hook and she looks so stressed out.

"Gray, Jane's here. Let us help." Jeremy said gently afraid of the ticking bomb that is the woman before us.

"Get her out of my office, NOW!" She yelled. She didn't even bother looking up.

"Gray," I eased into the chair in front of her desk. "You need help. Let us help you." She looked up at me and looked like the tough woman I used to know was gone. She has lost all the ridged edges of her personality and in its place is a hollow, burned out person.

I realize I'm looking into the eyes of a woman not so different from me. She's spinning out of control and dressing different and acting different to gain some semblance of it back. No wonder Billy was so concerned, in trying to hide I was really crying out for help. He was trying to not only help me, he was trying to save me from myself. I don't deserve a best friend like him because he's too good to me and all I can think about is how much it hurts me to love him. I'm selfish.

Gray leaned back in her chair and sighed. Everything going on right now is so uncharacteristic of the boss I used to know. She's slowly unraveling and I can see she's on the verge of a breakdown.

"Fine. Start with coffee. I assume you still know how I like it?" Gray was letting me back in. I was winning and it was really hard to control my excitement. "Of course, I'll go get that." I rush out of the office to the small coffee cart in the courtyard. "Gray's usual please!" I almost yell at the poor coffee worker. He hands me the cup after being extremely meticulous with its content due to Gray's previous reactions to the wrong cup of coffee. Poor guy. I practically throw money at him and race back inside to give Gray her coffee.

I find Gray and Jeremy bent over a new design. "Here you go Gray." I try to hand her the coffee cup but she waves it away. "Throw it away Jane I don't need the caffeine. Now what took you so long?" I gulp because she's surely gone off the deep end. "Sorry," I mutter. "It won't happen again. What are we working on?" I walk over to the other side of the table to get a better view of their new creation. I peered down and was amazed at the level of intricacy in this design. "Can this be done?" I gawk wide eyed. Jeremy looks at me with disproving eyes and I mouth back 'sorry' before anything could be done.

I can see this new design is supposed to be a cocktail dress, but it has way too much going on. "Take out the cutouts and put lace on it instead. Lace is timeless and classic and always reliable." I received two shocked looks from both Jeremy and Gray. "Jane," Jeremy said in his thick accent. "You're brilliant!" He kissed my cheek and moved to a different table erasing and putting in the detail I described. I blushed, "You were probably just looking at it for too long and over thinking it."

Idea after design after garment was passed by us and each time we tweaked something to make it simpler. Before I knew it, we were done and Gray had visibly relaxed. "Jane, come back to my office on Monday, we'll discuss our employment options. You have done well." I thought I saw a wisp of a smile, but I shook it off and excitedly took the unofficial job offer.

I let out a big sigh of relief, I did what I sought out to do. I saved my job and repaired my spirit. My heart will come soon, I need to give it time.

Jeremy had walked out into the courtyard with me to say our goodbyes. "Thank you so much Jane, you really saved us." I smiled, "I really couldn't have wanted to do anything else. This is… This is my dream, Jeremy." It was his turn to smile and he wrapped his arms around me in a hug, "I've missed you. Are you sure you don't want to go get drinks?" I laugh knowing he's kidding but still feel the need to politely turn him down. "Yes, I'm sure. Didn't you hear why I was fired anyways?" He chuckled, "Age is simply a number, Jane." I roll my eyes at his attempt at charm and in this moment I miss Billy more than ever. He kissed my temple, and the feeling became stronger, "Well, I must be getting back, but I'll see you around, yeah?" I nod and let the happiness wash over me. He turned around and walked back into the building.

I go to walk towards the car when I'm stopped by someone calling my name, "Jane? Jane! Wait up!" I turn towards the person calling my name and I'm met with someone I didn't really want to see.

"Hello Eli…" I say.

"Listen, I feel awful for how things ended." He grabbed my hands. "How did things work out for you and that special guy of yours?" I cringed a little at the question. "Not well. Things didn't pan out for us."

He got close to me, a little too close, "So does that mean I can have another shot? I know what I did was wrong, but I care about you Jane." I was suddenly very uncomfortable with his lack of respect for my personal space. "Eli, I don't think that's going to work for us… Just because things didn't work out doesn't mean I still don't love him-" before I could get another word out Eli's lips were on mine. They smothered me in intensity and it felt wrong. I didn't want this, all I wanted was my knight in shining converse to come and save me from this monster. I pushed him off of me, but then I made eye contact with the one person I was just hoping would come save me.

"Billy." I whispered. He looked devastated and so hurt. He looked as awful as I have felt since the play. All of my pain on the inside showed on his face and I wanted nothing more than to run up to him and hug it all away. I decide that is the best idea I've had in a long time. I leave Eli behind and run for my best friend. He just stands there in utter confusion and he starts to look extremely pissed. I'm cursing all things in my head at this very moment.

I reach him, "Billy, why are you here? How did you find me?" He took a step back, "No hold on Jane what the hell was that?" He pointed to where he saw the unfortunate incident. He called me Jane out loud which tells me he's beyond angry. "He-" I didn't get to finish my sentence because Billy was getting even angrier and I didn't get why. "You know what Jane? I came all the way over here to save your ass because Ms. Shaw is threatening to suspend you and this is what I see? You snuck off to make out with him?" "Wait, Billy hold on a second."

He walks away but I grab his shoulder, "What do you mean I'm being threatened with a suspension?"

"I mean Ms. Shaw is going to suspend you and I came to find you. Turns out you were perfectly fine." He spat his words at me and it hurt. He was hurting me to push me away and I could see that but that didn't stop my own anger rising in my stomach.

"Billy. What the hell has gotten into you? You are being ridiculous!" My voice is being raised, but I don't care because he can't talk to me like this and make me feel bad for a situation I never asked for.

"No I'm pissed because I came all the way here, Jane. Do you get that?" He yelled at me. He actually raised his voice to me. That's never really happened before. "And you know what? Zoe just told me she slept with another guy, but here I am, coming to get YOU because I'm in love with you!" I froze. What? He was in love with me? I couldn't move, I couldn't breath and nothing was working right in my brain. He took a couple steps back again, "But no. Because I had no idea you were such trash." That cut a wound so deep I'm not sure what to do. He called me trash. My eyes begin to fill with tears and it takes only a second for them to stream down my face.

"Don't worry Billy, I'll get back to the school and I'll take care of myself. I should have known falling in love with you would have been a problem." I was so angry I didn't care that I sounded like a wailing walrus. We both stomped off in opposite directions. I headed to The Beast and Billy went towards however he got here. I didn't care where he was going, and quite frankly I hope I never find out.

I climbed into the car and the tears took over my face. My insides hurt and I felt like I was going to throw up. We just admitted to falling in love with one another and now we're so angry we could possibly never talk again. He's my best friend and now… Now I'm not even sure we are even going to try to know each other in public.

I've never felt something like this. Even when I found out Nick cheated on me with Lulu, I never felt this. I never felt like the trash I was called. I never felt like my insides were going to somehow make an appearance. I never felt so alone.

I calm myself down long enough to get the car going and out into the street. I cry all the way to the school, but once I get out I make myself stop. I walk back into the school and head to my guidance councilor's office. How fitting.

xxxxx

lol wow this was like a zillion pages long…. Okay I didn't want Jane and Billy to just be like "I love you!" and everything is great, I wanted to create a problem. And Billy always seems to say things that he later regrets when he's upset. Like with Zoe, "You were such a colossal waste of time." So hold tight! And as always thank you for reading! And also thank you for ranting with me!