A/N sorry for not updating in while, been super busy.

a lot of people thought that Bella over reacted in the last chapter. i don't think she did! considering everything that happened, i think she has a right!

so, is she gonna find the letter?

JPOV

I could feel the anger radiating off of Bella from miles away as she ran. I couldn't hear her, so she must have been far, but the anger and frustration was unmistakable.

"Dude, what's up?" Peter had asked when I had frozen. Peter and I had been watching a football game, to pass the time, as Peter had put it.

It was strange, I felt my own rage at someone making her feel that way.

Charlotte.

"It appears that your wife has done something to upset Bella." Right on cue, we heard Bella shut a door, but it wasn't here. Where is she?

The cottage.

"Bro, is Bella at her cottage?" He was stunned. He knew that Bella had not been back there as it had been too tough on her. "And what to you mean? What the fuck did Charlotte do?" He had turned and looked at me accusingly, no longer stunned.

"Peter, I don't know." I shook my head. His head snapped up as we watched Charlotte walk calmly towards us. She smiled, but I felt how guilty she felt.

"What happened?" I asked her gently. I wouldn't get an answer if I was demanding. Or I might, Peter and Charlotte knew how to deal with me, and wasn't scared when the Major appeared.

"Oh, Jasper, I'm so sorry." She whispered. Peter gently rocked her, glaring at me. I knew that look, the don't even think about hurting her look.

"What happened?" I repeated, a little more force in my voice.

"I.. I asked Bella if she had feelings for you." Charlottle murmured after a short pause of hesitation. I felt how sorry she was, but I was too worried about Bella to care.

"Charlotte.. how could you ask her that? Her husband, along with my wife, died. They died. And it was only three weeks ago! And like me? Come on!" I was pacing, trying to get my thoughts straight.

"It just came out, I didn't mean it! We were talking about Bella being changed back into a vampire.. a full vampire.. and that she wanted you to do it, and she was laughing about a picnic, and then it just came out!" She explained.

"She still wants me to change her?" I was furious at what Charlotte had said, but I was a little touched at what Bella wanted me to do. I finally felt truly needed, which I hadn't for a long time. Charlotte just nodded, and walked over to me. She took my hand, and looking straight into my eyes.

"Jasper, I'm sorry. I know how much you are starting to care about Bella.. Not in a romantic way." She added quickly after seeing my face. "You don't want her to get hurt, that's all. You're her friend."

I sighed, and pulled her into a hug, at Peter's amusement. "It's okay Char.. but Bella is delicate just now, and for good reason. We need to be careful." At that exact moment, we heard a scream, the agony seeming to be louder than the scream itself.

BPOV

I ran as fast as I could, which wasn't very fast now. Quicker than a human, but not as fast as I'd like. I wanted to feel the wind rushing past my face, the feeling of freedom. I could barely see, my tears blocked my view. But, amazingly, I hadn't hit anything.

'Bella, do you feel something for Jasper?'

For a split second I seemed to think about it, and then I felt a spurt of anger go through my body. How could I even think about it? Edward was barely gone. And I will always love him, more than life itself. The rage seemed to help me run faster, and I headed towards my cottage.

This is going to be difficult. I knew that. But after what just happened with Charlotte, I needed to feel Edward around me. To feel his soul.

His soul. There had been some debate about that. Edward believed that he didn't have a soul, but I disagreed. And when Nessie was born, he didn't want to be a soulless father, so he struggled to change his mind. He assured me that he knew he did, but I could see it in his eyes. He thought he was forever a soulless monster.

How's forever working out for ya, Edward?

I felt shock wash through me as I chuckled. How could I even think about joking? The shame shook me, but before I could register it properly, I slowed to a walk, following the well known route to my cottage. I came out of the tree's into a clearing, seeing it stand proudly before me.

It hadn't changed. It was still the same as it was five years ago. I felt my breathing hitch, but I needed to do this, I needed to feel this pain.

I gently found the spare key under the mat - we weren't worried about anyone breaking in, because we were vampires, for gods sake - and let myself in, and accidentally letting the door swing shut with a bang. Tears started flowing again as I smelt the familiar smell. Mostly Edward, his amazing scent washing through me. The emotion of it all shook me, and I started really crying. But still, I kept going.

I walked through the little rooms, ending up in the sitting room. I fingered the books on the shelf and let the memory flood me, of one of the first times I had set foot in this place...

"Oh, Edward! Just look at all these books!" Esme must have stocked my favourites earlier today. I still couldn't believe it. It was MINE, this whole cottage. We had been living here for three days, and I still couldn't get over how amazing it all was. I had never had a real home that belonged to just me. Renee's was more hers, it didn't have anything in it that was like me. And Charlie's was all him.

"I know, love." Edward chuckled. I skipped around the room, the happiness radiating off me. I sensed the others back at the house, and could hear Renesmee crying. I felt a spark of worry, but I was too contented to really head back home and see what was going on. Rose would be with her, she would take care of her.

Back home.

This was my home now, I realised with joy.

"Edward.. I can't believe Esme did this!"

"Love, you've been saying that for days." He laughed. I laughed with him, and pratically jumped on him. We fell back onto the sofa as he started unbuttoning my jeans.

"Well, I'm glad you like it, Mrs Cullen." He murmured, before entering me swiftly.

I lay on the same couch, the tears still flowing. All around me was Edward. His scent, his music sheets, his piano, the book he was reading. A picture of Edward, Renessmee, and I on her first birthday.

As I began sitting up, something caught my eye. I sat up properly, and reached for the piece of paper. Before reading anything, I recognised Edward's gorgeous handwriting. I took a deep breath, before starting.

We may not physically be together, but we always will be.

Before I could stop it, the surge of agony ripped through me as I screamed.

JPOV

I raced to the small cottage, possibly faster than I ever had. Bella was still screaming, and it tore into me like a knife.

"I'm coming, baby." I yelled, but it didn't seem to help. Eventually, after what seemed like hours, I got to her door. Without knocking, I walked in, following her scent.

I walked in the living room, and moaned. Bella was lying on the floor in a ball, crying. Occasionally, she would scream again.

"Bella. Bella?" I kneeled down beside her as I saw something crumpled in her hand. I gently took it from her, as she started moaning.

"No." She whimpered.

"Okay, Bella. Okay." I sat the note back down beside her as I pulled her into my lap.

We sat there for a while, I was just rocking her.

It was strange. The roles had been reversed last time. I was the broken one, and Bella was holding me. I kissed the top of her head while I just let her cry. After about an hour, her breathing slowed. I peered down to her face, and she was sound asleep, still sniffing. I knew that she had avoided sleeping. It gave her nightmares.

I didn't dare move, and I didn't want to. Bella was obviously used to falling asleep on a vampire, she done it a million times.

Out of nowhere, she chuckled in her sleep and sighed one word.

"Jasper."

A/N short wee chapter there. Right, I PROMISE, the next chapter will be a long one. i hope this went okay, did it?

REVIEW ME, please!