I know this is kind of a shorty, I apologize, but there is a lot that happens in this chapter, so at least there's quality, if not quantity:) (I hope you think it's quality at least)

Chapter 11

I keep looking for something I can't get

broken hearts all around me,

and I don't see an easy way to get out of this.

I prepared myself to go with Edward to whatever room he wanted to have his 'word' in, but before I could open my mouth, Rose jumped in.

"Actually, dinner is ready, why don't we head into the dining room?" Her smile was bright and cheerful.

I wanted to hug her in gratitude. It looked bad, very bad that I had just jumped down Edward's throat a few days ago for going to a sex party, only to have him find out that I went to one as well. Of course, I was there for a total of ten minutes and I didn't do anything but he didn't know that.

Dinner was torturously slow. I wanted to act as if nothing was weird, but acting is not one of my strong suits. Thankfully, conversation flowed around us anyway. It seemed that Edward and I were the only one's not speaking, even Alice and Jasper kept up steady dialogue.

I was trying to swallow my fruit parfait dessert and figure out a way to get the hell out of there when Carlisle turned his attention on me.

"Bella, Esme tells me that you are well acquainted with the Quileute tribe. I know a number of them as my partner is Quileute. Do you know Dr. Cameron Uley?"

I almost choked on a blueberry.

"Yes I, uh do." His son is Jake's best friend, Sam. He is exactly like Jake.

"So I'm sure you've met his son, Sam, he always came into the office with, oh what is his name...Jacob. Yes, that was it. Do you know them as well?" Carlisle's face showed nothing but genuine interest. Little did he know he was touching on one of the worst decisions of my life.

"I know them as well," Hell, this night was already going so well, might as well just keep it in that direction. "Jake and I dated for a quite a long time."

"Oh really? I didn't know that. I've only talked to him a few times, but Cameron has always spoken fondly of him." Carlisle smiled again and then looked at Esme who must have been giving him some kind of message under the table to shut up because his eyebrows drew together questioningly.

It was no small wonder that Dr. Uley liked Jake so much, he and Sam really were two peas in pod. And poor Carlisle, so nice himself, probably didn't realize what a bunch of assholes came from the Reservation. Of course, I'm not ignorant enough to think all Quiluetes are jerks, but Jake and Sam and their friends definitely are.

"Rose, dinner was really great, and I hate to eat and run, but I have some work to catch up on tonight." I stood up when it looked like everyone was finished eating.

"Sure, honey, don't even worry about it. Em would walk Bella out?" Rose gave me a sympathetic smile because she knew I was just trying to get out of there.

"Of course." Emmett stood up, but before he could leave the table, Edward stood up as well.

"I'll walk Bella out. I need to get going as well. Thanks for dinner guys." His voice was formal and edged with irritation.

"Actually, I rode with Alice and Jasper." I said realizing that I couldn't just leave, as I'd wanted to, I needed to wait for them.

"In that case, I'll drop you off on my way home, and let Alice and Jasper stay a bit longer." Edward rounded the table and took me by the arm, in what surely looked like a gentlemanly move. In reality, his fingers dug into my flesh.

"Oh well, uh, okay, see you at home, Alice. Esme, Carlisle." I nodded at them as I was led to the front door.

"Don't think you're getting away that easily, baby." Edward whispered with a note of steel.

"Don't call me 'baby'." I mutter.

He didn't speak until we were both in his car and we were driving down Rosalie and Emmett's street.

In fact, we didn't speak at all until I realized we weren't heading for my apartment.

"You missed the turn Edward, you've should've gone left two streets ago."

"We're not going to your place, we're going to mine." He gripped the wheel tightly as he spoke.

I straightened in my seat. It was one thing to hash it out on the way home or outside my apartment, but I didn't appreciate being kidnapped.

"Take me home, Edward, if you want to talk we can do it there." I say firmly.

"Only to have you throw me out when you've decided you're done talking? I don't think so, we go to my apartment this time."

"Listen buddy, I don't-"

"Have a choice", he interrupted me. "We're going to sort this out right the fuck now."

I clenched my teeth in anger. How dare he? High-handed measures were not the way to win me over. Not at all.

I looked out my window to the passing street lights in silence until we reached his building.

"Are you going to walk with me or am I going to have to carry you, because believe me, it doesn't make a difference to me either way." He looked at me with smoldering green eyes as soon as he cut the engine.

"I'll walk, but not because I'm afraid of your barbaric threats." I replied stiffly and stepped out of the car.

He led the way to the elevator and up to his apartment.

As soon as he unlatched his door and stepped inside, he whirled around, dragging me behind him and slamming the door shut.

"What in the world has gotten into you?" I finally yelled.

"You're what's gotten into me! And it's driving me fucking crazy! I haven't had a damn moment's peace since you sashayed your way into that stupid party a month ago." He dragged his hands through his hair and glared at me.

I threw my bag on the side table next to door instead of winging it at his perfect face.

"First of all, I didn't freaking sashay, and second of all, what the hell are you talking about?"

"What I'm talking about," He gritted his teeth as he set his wallet and keys next to my bag. "is that ever since I watched you walk in like sex personified, you won't leave me alone."

"Just a damn minute, I haven't been calling day and night, or showing up unexpectedly, or even sending you crazy texts messages, so don't make me out to be the loony stalker girl." I was royally pissed. I never ever wanted to be one of those girls who couldn't take a hint, so for him to make it sound like I was hanging around when he was trying to shake me was beyond insulting.

"That's not what I'm even talking about!" Edward stalked to his wet bar and poured two fingers of whiskey. "Oh! And speaking of parties, what the hell, Bella? You read me the riot act for going to one when you've done the same thing?"

"That was completely different," I defend myself as I grabbed his liquor with an angry jerk. "I was there ten minutes tops, I went with Esme, and I left after some guy tried to hit on me."

"What was his name?" Edward's eyes flashed as he practically bared his teeth.

"Who cares! I left, and ended up sleeping with you that night." I began pacing, tapping my fingernail agitatedly on the glass, my boots beating an rhythmic tattoo on the wooden floor.

"Damn right you did." He said quietly.

I sighed, tossed back the whiskey and set the glass down on the counter.

"Look, I know it seems hypocritical, but I promise, I was barely there. I met your dad, talked to this guy for maybe three minutes and left. That's it, that's the entire story. You on the other hand, are not so innocent."

"How do you know? I told you that it was all bullshit, but you believe the worst of me anyway." He stepped in front of me and blocked my path of pacing.

"You said Tanya was bullshit, that's all." I challenged.

"Well for the record then, it's all bullshit, I haven't been with anyone since I made love to you." He told me grabbing my shoulders.

"Since you fucked me, let's not pretty it up." I spat, it was best that neither he or I forgot what was really between us.

His hands tightened and his face shuttered clean of all expression.

"You want to know what if feels like for me to just merely fuck you without any emotion?" His voice was soft, but it was more potent than his yelling. "Trust me, you'd feel a difference."

I swallowed as hot desire curled enticingly in my stomach.

"No, I don't think that's necessary."

"Oh I think it is very necessary, you wouldn't mix them up again." His hands slid down to squeeze my rear end.

My heart rate started to speed up and I could feel my breath coming more quickly.

"That would not be a good idea." My body was now flush against his, his hardness pressed to my belly.

"I believe it would be, we wouldn't want there to be any confusion on your part as to what was between us." He leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"I ...I don't want to, I'd like for you to take me home." Geez, even I could hear the lack of conviction in my voice. My words said no, but my tone said, oh yes."

"No you don't, I can feel you Bella, and hear you. Your heart is pounding, your breathing heavily, and your body is like fire in my hands. You want me just as badly as I want you." His voice washed through me straight to my core.

"Edward..." I tried to form a coherent sentence, but nothing would work, not my brain or my mouth."

"I just need to hear you say one little word, baby. Come on, we'll both feel better when this is over." Liquid sex, that was the only thing to describe his tone.

"...yes." I moaned as his hands continued to kneed my ass, and his breath floated against my neck.

A split second later his mouth crashed down to mine and devoured me. I tried to wrap my arms around his neck but just as quickly, he whipped me around so that my back was to his front. He bent me, just shy of roughly, over the back of his couch. My breath whooshed out in surprise and unbridled lust. This was happening. Right now, Edward was about to ravish me. Excitement shot through my system like a rocket.

Edward yanked the skirt of my dress up and slid his fingers inside my black lace thong.

"What's this?" He snapped the top of my thong so that it slapped back against my skin.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were anticipating this." He said through clenched teeth before grabbing a handful of the fabric and ripping my them off entirely.

My reply was a dazed grunt.

"You're so wet, baby." He told me unnecessarily as he placed his long fingers back on me. Oh, I'd forgotten just how he could make my body sing with a touch.

I tried to gain back a modicum of control.

"Are you going to fuck me or are we just going to talk about it."

A moment later, I felt a none to gentle smack on my right ass cheek. I couldn't suppress the moan from escaping through my lips.

"Such language, Bella. Where did you get such a mouth?"

"Must have picked it up from a guy I know." My voice wasn't quite as strong as I wanted it to be. It was too breathy, too excited. It revealed how much I enjoyed this.

Smack.

I ground against his left hand that was rubbing between my legs mercilessly. I was going to explode if he kept this up.

"You like that don't you, baby, you like it when I spank that perfect ass of yours."

Smack.

"Yes..." I moaned again.

"Are you going to come all over my hand, Bella? Are you close? I know you are. You're fucking my hand so hard right now."

Smack.

And I came and came and came with an intensity that almost made the room look fuzzy. As soon as my orgasm waned and I started to slump against the sofa, he gripped my hips and plunged into me.

Again I gasped, and heard him groan deeply.

"Yessss." he breathed against my ear.

"I love your pussy baby, it's always so wet and tight. I just want to be inside you all the fucking time." Each thrust was deliciously deep, his body pinning mine. He slid one of those wicked hands around and pinched my clit firmly.

"Better hold on baby, this won't take long."

Oh sweet heavens. I could feel myself gush around him as his words seeped through to my brain.

I clenched my hands around the cushion in front of me as Edward stood up and began pumping in and out of me with fervor. It felt so exquisite, I didn't want it to ever end. I tried to keep my moaning low, embarrassed by his affect on me, but he would have none of it.

"Don't you dare hold that shit in baby, I want to fucking hear what I do to you." He grunted, picking up the pace of his thrusts.

"Ohhhhhh uhhhh!" It pushed through my lips as both of our moans and grunts filled the room.

"I'm so close, are you?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes, oh gah, yes." I babbled, trying to push back into him. "Edward!"

"Give it to me then, I want to feel you go." Again, he pinched my clit hard and I screamed as I came around him. He followed me a second later, yelling my name and obscenities.

I laid there on the stool, completely unable to move as he pulled out of me.

"Come on baby" he lifted me up in his arms and carried me to his bedroom. I was out by the time my head hit his pillow.

I woke in the dark to the faint, but unmistakable ding of my cell phone text alert. Disoriented and groggy, I turned over to see Edward's sleeping face next to mine.

I sucked in a breath as I tried to quietly ease away from him. Naked, I crept downstairs to my purse that sat on the side table where I'd flung it earlier.

R U OK? Where R U?

Alice.

Shit.

I squinted at the clock that ticked rhythmically on the wall. 2:17 a.m.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, I sent her back a quick message assuring her I was fine and would be home in a little bit.

I tiptoed back upstairs and searched around the room for my clothes, realizing once again, Edward had destroyed another pair of underwear. I slipped my bra back on and pulled my dress over my head. On the hunt for boots, I looked up and finally noticed that Edward was watching me steadily from the bed.

"Leaving?" He asked flatly.

"Yes."

"You weren't going to wake me." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"No." Why deny it?

He shook his head and got out of bed. He pulled on a pair of jeans without bothering with underwear.

"So you're just done? Done with us, this, everything?"

"I think it's best, don't you?" I sat down on the chair to pull my boots on.

"No, I don't, as a matter of fact."

"We hardly know each other really, and being together only causes drama and stress, so it would probably be better to just cut our losses." I say trying to keep my voice reasonable.

"We're getting to know each other, and the only drama and stress is coming from you! I don't know what the hell is going on most the time. You're hot, then cold, and you won't tell me why? How the fuck am I supposed to keep up?" He ran his hands through his hair and looked at me with frustration.

"I don't trust you." I told him finally. "I don't trust this, we've got a relationship based soley on sex and little else, what am I supposed to think. You call me only for the weekends and when we are together, all we do is screw each other's brains out."

"First of all, I'm not going to apologize for being so attracted to you I can hardly see straight and therefore, can't keep my hands off you. Second of all, we are building a relationship, it's not going to be here overnight, it's going to take work. And thirdly, bullshit. Something else is going on and you won't tell me, so just tell me damnit."

I huffed, as I paced the room. How could I explain to him what I could barely understand myself. It's true I don't trust him, but more than that, I don't trust me, not after Jake.

"Why bother?"

"Because I'm fucking falling in love with you."

I sat down heavily in his armchair and stared at him dazedly. I must have heard him wrong. Surely I heard him wrong, no way did he just tell me that he was falling in love with me.

"Don't look so stunned." He glared at me as he grabbed a cigarette from the pack on his bedside table.

"You can't be in love with me, you...you don't even know me."

He blew out a puff of smoke. "I know how I feel."

His eyes grew colder as I stared at him dumbly.

"Edward-"

"I'll take you home now if that's what you want." He stalked out of the room and down the stairs, while I sat unmoving and stunned.

Impossible, it was just too impossible. There's no way he could love me. Yet I felt the undeniable thrill at his words.

Trying to form coherent thoughts, I slowly made my way after him.

Now donning the t-shirt he'd flung off earlier he stood next to the window and stared blindly out into the night as he sucked on his cigarette. His eyes flitted to mine, hard green eyes that were anything but loving as I made my way towards him.

"Edward," I tried again, putting a hand lightly on his arm. "I-"

"You might not want to touch me just now." His voice was low and husky, and maybe a little desperate.

"Yes, I do." I gripped his sleeve and moved more squarely in front of him. "I'm not going to pretend that I'm not shocked by what...you've told me."

"That I love you." He supplied icily as he started to turn away.

"Yes, that you love me. I didn't expect it at all. In fact, I thought that all you were really looking for from me was the physical, not emotional."

"Why would you think that?" He all but exploded. "What have I done to make you think that I want to use you for sex and nothing more? It's like you and I are in two completely different relationships with each other!"

"You're right." I cut off his rant, searching for the calm that seemed to elude me. "It appears that we are looking at this from very different places, and I'll take the blame for mine.

"I don't want you to 'take the blame'" he turned and jammed his cigarette into the ashtray dish on the little coffee table beside us.

"Then what do you want, Edward?" Frustration filled my voice. I felt off balance, confused, and uncertain of what to do. I was trying to be level-headed and understanding, but it only seemed to make him more angry with me.

"I want honesty from you, I don't want you to hold back. Just tell me what you feel!" He gripped my shoulders, his fingers digging desperately into my arms.

"I don't know what I feel!" I yelled back. "I'm scared, and unsure, and elated that you ..." I stopped before I revealed what I told myself I'd never tell him. It would give him too much power over me.

"That I?" He tipped my face up firmly with his thumb and forefinger at my chin. "No games, Bella."

His eyes pierced mine sharply. "No pretenses, no facades, no clever words. Say it plainly and mean what you say."

"I'm elated that you would love me when I love you too." I whispered. "I don't feel like I know enough about you to love you, that you know enough about me. I don't trust myself anymore, and I don't even know if I trust you, but somehow...somehow I love you too.

A tear slipped down my cheek as I kept my gaze locked on him. His eyes softened by degrees as I spoke. He gently swept a thumb over my cheekbone, wiping the tear away.

Leaning down so that his forehead rested on mine, he took a deep breath and stroked my face with his fingertips. "It is enough. For now."

Good? Bad? Let me know!