Thanks you all Who have kept with me thus far. Yes the ending is meant to be ambiguous. Take it however you like. Hope you all have enjoyed this madeness and be on the lookout form y next project.
Kim sat there on the fluffy couch in the quiet calming office. She pulled her knees in and leaned back making herself small and vulnerable.
"It's okay, you don't really have to continue if you don't think you can."
Kim looked up and smiled at the pretty blonde woman. So sweet looking with the pale lip-gloss and the perfectly appropriate black skirt.
"No, I need to do this, Dr Sheridan. I have to let it go," Kim said letting her head loll to the side. She looked across the neat Spartan office with the soothing blue paint but didn't see it at all.
"I was sitting on her back when it happened. We were on a nude beach in Europe or something. It's so blurry," Kim grinned awkwardly " Can you believe it everything but her is blurry. I remember every detail about her. I remember the way her skin felt and smelled. Every goddamned thing I did to her. So… sorry forgive the language."
And in that perfect moment of tension the therapist laughed. She chuckled full and deep from her belly making her face brighten and Kim blink.
"Seriously, Kim, do you think I've survived three years as a therapist without hearing some severely screwed up shit? Professionally speaking of course."
Kim nodded. Somehow it worked. It made it easier to go back to this painful place in her mind. This place she still couldn't escape.
" The sad thing is I think…." Kim paused and ran a hand through her short neat red hair falling at her chin. "I think I was happy. I was sitting on her back and rubbing oil into her skin and I was humming. I was bloody goddamned humming a tune. Not a care in the world."
Kim hummed to herself as her hands slid over slick deep green skin. Shego purred calmly. Nice ocean breeze, a pair of very talented hands on her back and shoulder rubbing in that nice tingly oil.
People stopped and stared but she didn't care so that meant that Kimmie didn't care. When you were a gorgeous woman on a nude beach people loved looking at you.
"You're doing good Kimmie, such a good girl."
Kim straddled Shego's lower back and kept massaging tight muscular flesh util all the oil was absorbed.
Then she slid back onto the big green towel. Odd how no one recognized them. No one yelled Hey it's Shego. Or look its Kim possible. They were just two really hot women on the beach.
"Hey, Kimmie, come here. Get up here." Shego pointed to her bare lap and Kim slid up into it. Shego wrapped her arms around her and grinned. "You've been a very good girl lately Kimmie. Don't you think you deserve a reward?"
"Yes, please, ma'am." Shego kissed her. Smooth lips meeting smooth lips and woots and whistles came up from around the beach.
"Like that ladies and gents," Shego yelled into the crowd to unanimous cheers of "Hott" and "Good show girls." Shego grinned. "Kiss me again Kimmie."
"So she forced the relationship to be intimate? She required that you sleep with her," the doctor asked calmly seeing the pain on Kim's face." She knew she had to break this up. But this was wonderful progress. Kim was strong.
"Well, yes at first." Kim looked down awkwardly her face ashen and scrunched in as she placed a hand against her temple. "But after a while it just became part of what I did. That's the fucking crazy part. Fuck, See? I even curse like her now. I can't get her off of me. I dream about her and I see her everywhere and I goddamn smell her on me and it's been months. I know she's still out there. I can feel it. I'm still asleep."
"Focus Kim how does the sex make you feel now? Has this affected your current relationships?"
"Well, yes and no. My girlfriend is very understanding but it's … difficult. I know I should be okay with her holding me but it doesn't feel right."
"Good. You're dealing with it and you recognize the trauma. Good, Kim. Now why do you think she did it? Do you think she loved you? Do you think she had a reason?"
'I don't think so. I mean I know she couldn't after all she did to me. I think she did it to control me. Ya' know, to keep me in line. But,"" Kim swallowed nervously and licked her lips trying to pull away the dryness in her mouth. "I think I still might have loved her though. Does that make me crazy? Did I want this to happen? Did I just accept it too easily?"
"No, Kim!" The therapist swift yell pulled Kim away from that dangerous plateau of thought. The Dr. Coughed awkwardly and felt the blood flood her face. "No, Kim. No victim ever desires their abuse, It a defense mechanism. You mind lets itself believe whatever helps make it easier. Let's go back. What happened next? You're doing great. What happened? Let me know if you need to stop."
Shego purred in Kim's ear. Whispering.
"You want to do me in front of all these people, don't you? You want me to bend you over and show every last one of these people what a slut you are, don't you Kimmie?"
Kim blushed furiously and didn't say anything. She just Curled her face into Shego;s chest and hid in her slick green skin.
"I'm not hearing and answer Kimmie," Shego said drumming her fingers along Kim's shoulder. "You know what happens when you don't answer a question."
"Yes, ma'am. No I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to show them what a dirty slut I am."
"Aww, poor Kimmie. Does that matter at all?" The victorious little smirk on Shego's lips gleamed as she licked them.
"No. I do what you want me to?"
"So what did you do Kim? I know this is hard but…"
"I did exactly what she told me to," Kim admitted sighing heavily. "I made out with her and the beach watched in awe as she groped my breasts. Luckily it didn't go farther. It almost did though. But she decided I had been humiliated enough."
"Okay, Kim, you've done a great job. How did you get away? How do you feel now that you're away from your captor?"
Kim stretched out her legs and rolled her shoulder. Her mother was right. This was … helping… kind of. It was nice to be able to tell someone about it. It hurt but, it was good hurt.
"I… I haven't gotten away yet. I'm still asleep. But I left after the beach."
The therapist noted that statement carefully.
'The patient still has re-adjustment issues. To be expected after extended mental conditioning and isolation.' Kim continued as the therapist scribbled.
" I don't know how it happened. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. She had stopped shackling me weeks ago. It had never occurred to me to just slip out of the door or a window. "
"Don't worry about that Kim. You did it eventually. That is all that matters."
"I just walked away. I just walked down the street naked and confused. She sleeps like a cat. Irritably and in spurts. I don't know how I managed to just walk away. I know she's going to find me though. I'm still asleep."
"Alright, Kim I think we're almost out of time here." Kim stood up as the nice calm doctor closed her notebook. "Oh, before you leave, something puzzles me," the doctor said looking up to see Kim gripping the doorknob. "You mentioned dreaming of your captor? Do you have nightmares? You didn't mention that before?"
"No, I don't have nightmares. They aren't nightmares at all. Thank you, Doctor."
When the door opened Tara head popped up from the magazine she was reading before saying "Oh, you all done doll?"
Kim nodded and held out her hand. Tara grabbed it easily and they headed out to the blue convertible.
"Is it helping, Kim? My ant Vivian totally recommended her."
"I don't know, Tara." Kim twirled the end of Tara's long blonde braid around her finger. "I just still feel kind of numb. I know I'm still asleep. I told the doctor that. She seems understanding though. We worked through a lot."
"Good. Come one I think someone needs a nice big bowl of ice cream and some quality time with the couch."
"Yeah," Kim agreed calmly. "I think that will help. I know it's been a while I'm so sorry I'm such a mess." Kim dropped the end of the braid and sighed.
"What have I told you," Tara said taking advantage of the red light to face Kim. "None of this is your fault. None of it! I love you, Kim. I know you need help and I can deal with it. I want to help you."
"Thank you, thank you so much."
Kim groaned in the kitchen of the apartment she shared with Tara. She hated mornings now. Tara woke up early and went to work. Kim slept in as late as she could. And today as she pulled juice from the refrigerator it looked like the latest she could sleep in was ten thirty.
On the stove was a warm plate with an omelet and some bacon.
"Bless you, you blonde bombshell. Bless you," Kim muttered dropping into a chair at the table. Tara was an amazing cook and Kim relished the late breakfast. As she swallowed the last bite of omelet heard the knocker at her door bang three times.
Kim yawned and was at the door before another knock sounded.
Kim opened the door and almost fell smack on her ass. Luckily her arm shot up to grip the doorframe and she just ended up slumped against it.
"Good Morning Kimmie, Sleep well?"
"No, not for a while," she said.
The door closed and Kim's feet moved and she lowered her head.