Ch. 11 Regret?
Disclaimer:
(A/N): Hello everyone! New chapter is here! I can't believe the reviews I got last chapter, I usually can't write great sex scenes so when I saw the reviews I was like "*cries* YES! I actually did something right!" I still don't know where that chapter came from XD but I'm glad everyone liked it.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed (thank you sooo much!) and favorited and all that great stuff :D
Please enjoy the chapter
'I shouldn't have said that.' "Hey Artie!" 'I shouldn't have said that.' "Artie!" 'I really shouldn't have said that.' Arthur thought, sitting in his bed, curled into a little ball, wrapped in a blanket cocoon.
"...I love you Alfred"
Why did he say that? It had made things incredibly awkward! Alfred had stayed silent and looked at him with wide eyes, but held him closer nevertheless and nuzzled his nose into the sandy blond hair. Why did he say that? But... What else could he have said? "Hey Alfred I know we just had hot sex but I want you to know that I care about you a lot?"
Truth be told he would've hated himself more if something like that had come out of his mouth.
And now Alfred was bounding up and down their dorm room looking for him. Why he hadn't thought of the bedroom was beyond him but Arthur was incredibly thankful for the idiocy.
He calmed down a bit, taking a deep breath and letting it out as his mind wandered to how stupid Alfred was. "Artie! Let's go out! I promise no one will be there!" Bloody idiot, always saying anything and everything that was on his mind... Everything except...
Alfred hadn't said anything back.
Alfred hadn't said 'I love you' back.
Did that mean Alfred didn't feel the same way? What other explanation could there be? He didn't even say "I like you". Arthur curled further into his cocoon, burying his face into the comforter. Alfred didn't love him back. He quite possibly "liked him" - they did have sex after all... but...
Arthur was the one to initiate it...
He didn't regret saying what he did, it was how he felt after all. He didn't regret it. He didn't regret it. Now if only he could keep telling himself that.
"Artie! Come on, I wanna take you out!" Alfred yelled, bursting through the door. "There you are! Come on Artie~ you have tests in your classes' next week right? We won't be able to hang out for a while and - what are you doing Artie?"
Arthur rolled his eyes under the blanket. Now he noticed. "I'm studying." Came the muffled response.
"Under all those blankets? I don't think so," Alfred smirked. "Are you doing things to yourself while thinking of my super heroic self?"
"Fuck no!" Arthur yelled, popping out of the cocoon.
Alfred raised an eyebrow. This would be fun. "Ya sure Artie? It's pretty hard for me to tell since you're pretty much covering your whole body under those blankets."
"I am not doing anything under here. I'm just taking a bloody nap that all!" Arthur pulled the blanket over his head once more and curled into a ball again.
"Are you in denial Artie? It's completely understandable; no one can resist a hero."
"Go away Alfred." Silence. Then the door closed. For once Alfred had listened to him. Maybe the day wasn't so bad. And then something was on the bed, four small depressions on every side of Arthur; two on the right and left just next to his arms and two on the right and left just beside his curled up legs.
Arthur poked his head out of the blanket cautiously, green eyes meeting deep blue ones. Under the covers, his face went red. "A-Alfred! Wh-what are you doing?"
"Well, since you won't come to me, I thought I would come to you and - uh, coax? Yeah! - coax you out of bed." A smirk spread across Alfred's lips and he stared down at Arthur who averted his eyes.
"You can't make me do anything Alfred. Now go away, I'm trying to sleep."
"Come o~on. Please Artie? Francis went off with Toni and Gilbo and Ivan has a test he needs to make up that'll take all day! What do you say Artie?"
Arthur sighed. What was there to lose? Maybe Alfred would say something on their date... "Fine."
"Awesome!" Alfred yelled, letting his body fall on Arthur's and embracing the Brit as best he could.
"So what are we going to being doing?"
Alfred froze. "W-well..."
"What the fuck took you so long, hamburger bastard?"
"S-sorry Lovino," Alfred said, dragging a disbelieving Arthur to the door. "W-we can go now."
"Hmph! Hurry up!" Lovino stomped to the door, opening it with a jerk and marching into the hallway.
"Alfred."
"Yeah Artie?" Alfred asked, flashing a shaky smile.
"What is Lovino Vargas doing here?"
"Um..." Alfred nervously rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact with Arthur.
"Lovino. Vargas. Lovino. Vargas."
"Well... you know how I said Gilbert, Francis, and Antonio went out together?" Arthur nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well Antonio didn't want Lovino to be lonely and he wasn't about to leave him with just anyone and Francis suggested leaving him with me. I have no idea why though..."
"Yeah, me either," Arthur said sarcastically. The answer was simple: Antonio and Alfred were almost exactly the same when it came to brain function. Arthur sighed. Did this mean that - in a way - he was like Lovino? The answer made him cringe.
"So if you want to blame anyone, blame the bad company trio."
"Bad company? - never mind. So what are we going to do?" Arthur asked, dreading every moment.
"Well, whatever Lovino wants to do I guess," Alfred shrugged.
"Great," he said sarcastically. "What happened to 'we wont be bothered by anyone'?"
"Well technically Lovino won't be bothering us... we'll be bothering Lovino." Arthur hated to admit it, but that sounded about right. He sighed and Alfred grabbed his arm. "Now let's go before Lovino starts yelling."
"I guess you're right," Arthur said reluctantly. Alfred grinned and began to pull him down the hallway and into the elevator where Lovino was waiting, looking rather impatient.
The ride to the lobby was very awkward; Lovino looked like he would rather be anywhere but there and Arthur felt the same way. Alfred didn't quite understand what was going on. Lovino – not surprisingly – wanted to go eat at an Italian restaurant just down the street.
"What's up Lovino? I thought you hated these fake Italian places," Alfred said with a laugh.
"Shut up," Lovino replied, glaring menacingly.
They continued the walk in silence, which made Alfred uncomfortable because he needed to run his mouth 24/7. The quiet also ate away at Arthur. He wanted to talk to Alfred; to ask him about the other night, to ask why he didn't say anything back.
"Table for three," Lovino said angrily. The man at the counter nodded, picked up some menus and led the group to the back where they were seated at a booth. "If you ask if they have hamburgers I'm going to suffocate you by stuffing linguine down your throat."
"Don't worry Lovino," Alfred said, looking at the menu. "They have 'make your own pizza' so I'm good."
"That's on the children's menu Alfred," Arthur said in disbelief.
"So? Better than being suffocated by linguine. Now if it was hamburgers –"
"Stop. Talking." Alfred put is hands up in surrender and leaned closer to Arthur.
"Are you ready to order?" The waiter asked, standing next to the table and taking out his note pad.
"I'll take the make your own pizza!" Alfred said cheerfully.
"I'll have the lasagna," Lovino said, putting his menu down.
"And I'll just have some spaghetti." The waiter nodded and motioned for Alfred to follow him so that he could go customize his pizza at the stand placed just outside the kitchen.
"If you get us kicked out -" Lovino threatened.
"Don't worry Lovino," Alfred said. He winked and bounded off to the array of pizza toppings. Arthur and Lovino sat silently at the table waiting for their food. Lovino looked completely pissed off and Arthur's mind was buzzing. Maybe… maybe he could ask Lovino…
"Um, Lovino."
"What?"
"Well," How was he supposed to say this? "Alfred and I were, um, hanging out and I kind of said something…" Lovino looked at him with a horrified expression. "D-do you think you could give me some advice? C-considering Alfred and Antonio are –"
"What did you say?"
"Excuse me?" Well that was odd.
"What did you say to him?" Lovino said louder, his horrified expression still plastered on his face.
"I-I said," Arthur swallowed, "I loved him," he choked out. Lovino brought his hand to his face in an exasperated motion, letting out a grunt/sigh sort of thing. "Wh-what?" Now Arthur was worried.
"Did he say it first?" Lovino asked, hand still on his face.
"Well, uh, no. I said it first." Arthur's face was bright red now. Saying this to Lovino was incredibly embarrassing.
"You idiot," Lovino said, although it wasn't in his usual loud and angry voice, it was more exasperated than anything. Arthur looked at him confusedly. "You were supposed to let him say it first. Alfred is an idiot and so if he says it first, you know he means it. Since you said it first now he'll be confused, he is an idiot after all. He won't know what to do now. Dumb bastard."
Arthur didn't know what to say. Lovino actually made sense. Alfred was an idiot and so when faced with something like 'I love you', they wouldn't really know what to do. It was all so clear now. How could he have been so stupid? Now he was starting to regret it. But he couldn't! It was how he felt. It was how he felt! Arthur cursed himself under his breath and slammed his head against the table, startling Lovino.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Lovino shouted. Arthur didn't answer, he just kept his head on the cool wooden table, even as Alfred came back and took his seat.
"What's up Artie?" Alfred said, noticing the Brit. He looked expectantly, awaiting a reply. They waited in silence for their food; Alfred still awaiting a reply from Arthur, but that all changed when the waiter came with his pizza.
"What is that?" Lovino asked, looking disgustedly at the concoction in front of Alfred. It had crust like a pizza, it even overflowed with some red sauce, but everything else…
"Huh? Oh, you mean my super heroic pizza?" Alfred said with bright eyes. "It has everything you could ask for on a pizza! Lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, pepperoni, bacon, peppers -"
"Please stop," Arthur said, lifting his head and bringing his hand to his mouth to stop himself from throwing up.
"Hey, it's better than your gross food."
"You take that back!"
"Shut up!" Lovino yelled. "Just shut up! Both of your taste buds suck balls!"
"Lovi?" Someone said from a few booths away from them. The three looked over to see Antonio standing up, hands planted on the table. Beside him were Francis and Gilbert, looking incredibly confused.
"Fuck."
"So that's why you wanted to eat here!" Alfred said cheerfully.
"Aw Lovi~ Did you miss me?" Antonio asked, skipping happily over to the table and hugging Lovino.
"Of course not!" Lovino yelled, his face red.
"Well I missed you querido~"
"Hey Toni! Ditch your boyfriend and get back here!" Gilbert called.
"Aw come on Gilbert, let Lovi join us~"
"No!"
"Of course he can join us mon cher," Francis said, smacking Gilbert on the back of the head. Antonio dragged Lovino over to the table, leaving Alfred and Arthur alone. 'Perfect' Arthur thought, rolling his eyes. The waiter arrived with Arthur's and Lovino's food a tad too late, and placed them on the table.
"Should we go give Lovino his lasagna?" Arthur asked, absentmindedly twirling his spaghetti around on his fork.
"Nah, he washn't gon eat it anywaysh," Alfred said.
"Don't talk with your mouth full," Arthur scolded.
Alfred swallowed. "Sorry."
"So what do we do with it?"
"I'll eat it!" Alfred exclaimed, leaning over the table and taking the plate.
"You're such a glutton," Arthur said with disgust.
"Hmm?"
"Never mind." The two ate in silence; for Arthur, uncomfortable silence, but Alfred didn't seem to notice the awkward atmosphere. "Alfred," Arthur said nervously. Alfred looked up, a piece of sticky cheese hanging from his mouth connecting to the slice of pizza in his hands. "About the other day…"
"What? Are you still sore?"
"Of course not!" Arthur yelled, face red. "About what happened after! When I said I loved you!" he blurted out. He immediately covered his mouth and looked away, twirling his spaghetti around again. Alfred looked away as well, putting his pizza down on the plate.
"Y-yeah? Wh-what about it? You didn't mean it?"
Arthur swallowed. Why did he have to bring that up? "Of course I meant it!" Now what could he say? He wanted to ask, he wanted to say something about it to let Alfred knw it was eating away at him, but how? "You didn't say anything back." The table was engulfed in silence, neither of the two looking at each other.
"I-I couldn't," Alfred said, his face suddenly sullen. Arthur looked at him curiously.
"What do you mean you couldn't?" Did he not feel the same way?
"Because," he swallowed. "Because… I kissed Ivan."
"You kissed Ivan?" Arthur asked, eyebrow raised, heart in pieces.
"Well technically he kissed me but… you get it."
"Yes, I get it," Arthur said taking out his wallet and dropping some money gracelessly on the table. "I'm leaving." Arthur exited the restaurant in a huff, leaving Alfred alone in the booth. Did he regret saying it now?
Yes.
(A/N): And the beginning of some drama filled chapters! Yay!
As for Lovino's advice: When idiot's suddenly come face to face with something, their brains go into overdrive and they don't really know what to do, and since Alfred *cough* and Antonio *cough* are idiots, they have no idea what to do (I know this from personal experience, unfortunately). Plus, Alfred feels really bad about kissing Ivan (if you couldn't tell)
Thank you for reading and reviews are loved :3