My eyes raise slowly after a few steps, my eyes breaking it's gaze from the endless stream of pink roses underneath the pink pumps that my daughter insisted I wear to match the ones on her tiny feet. I've been focused on them as I try not to trip, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. But halfway to my destination I feel his gaze penetrating me and I look up to see him smiling at me. I smile back, the tears springing to my eyes as I hear the faint instrumental sounds of Can't Help Falling in Love With You. My eyes find the small person standing with the man I love in the place I'll be standing in a few moments. She bounces up and down in excitement, her wicker basket completely emptied of her rose petals and I smile. Her excitement is infectious. His smile is infectious. Together, they bring me so much joy, I think my heart could explode. My thoughts drift back to another time I was walking a familiar path, but for a completely different reason.
Five Years Ago
I want to kill her. Regardless that it's her wedding day and she's the bride and I have to do what she says, I want to kill Allison Caroline soon to be Northington. "Christian is the best man, Ana. You're the maid of honor. Suck it up and get your ass down the aisle!" She barked as I whined about having to walk down the aisle with the man that makes me want to scream. So here I was at the top of the aisle, having just linked arms with the man I hate.
"You're joking" I grit out through my fake smile having felt him just grab my ass.
"What? Youur ass looks fantastic in that dress" he says, the smile never leaving his face flashing the entire crowd his perfect teeth.
"Do not touch me"
"I am touching you"
"You're a child!"
"Keep smiling, dollface. They're taking pictures"
"Who the fuck says dollface?"
"Don't say fuck" he says
"You just said it" I retort and I know I sound like a child but it's taking everything out of me not to whack him in the face with my bouquet of flowers.
"Almost there, Steele."
"Thank God" I breathe out as we reach the end of the aisle where we are supposed to part ways. Just as we are about to breakaway I hear-
"So your room or mine later?"
My mouth drops open as he finds his space next to Michael and I shake my head at him giving him a scowl. Christian's index fingers find his cheeks and he smiles reminding me that I need to do the same. Ass.
XXXXX
I chuckle to myself as I'm brought back into the present and before I know it my father is passing me off to the man from my memories as well as the one of my dreams.
"What's so funny?" Christian asks me as he holds my hand and rubs his lips over it, completely ignoring that we are supposed to be getting married and not having a casual conversation.
"The last time we walked down the aisle" I whisper, ignoring the officiant who's already began talking. Christian's eyes find Emma next to me no doubt remembering her parents and my eyes follow his. Emma smiles up at us and then her tiny hand finds the space next to her cheek and she gives us a tiny wave causing a round of chuckles from the crowd. What a ham.
There isn't a dry eye in the house for the majority of the ceremony, but the kicker, which sent everyone including myself into a fit of waterworks was when Christian picked up Emma and they both slid the ring onto my finger. It wasn't traditional, it wasn't classic, it was us. And it was perfect. He held her in his arms for the rest of the ceremony, and after he planted a kiss on me marking me his bride, we both kissed Emma on her cheek which to be honest got the better response.
We are about to walk back down the aisle taking our first steps as man and wife when my mom motions to take Emma. Christian and I both shake our heads immediately. "No, she stays with us." I smile, knowing that my mother just assumed we'd want some alone time before the craziness of the reception. We will have two weeks of alone time. I smile to myself as Christian has already promised me we'd start working on our second child on this honeymoon and that more than likely I was coming back from Hawaii pregnant.
We are pulled into a small tent away from the garden where we just had the nuptials and Emma almost lunges out of Christian's arms for me.
"Em, careful. Let's keep Mommy's dress, clean, okay?" His eyes rake me over twice and he smiles as Emma's legs find their way around my waist. "You look so beautiful" he murmurs quietly and leans forward once pressing his lips to mine gently. "I love you"
I'm about to reply when I hear the person on my hip chirping up. "What about meeee"
"You look very pretty too, princess. I love you too" he says pressing a kiss to the top of her head, careful not to mess up the bow around her head. I hear the click of a camera behind me and a flash, reflecting off the walls of the tent. I look over to see our photographer moving towards us.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I couldn't resist" she smiles. "The three of you are the most perfect family"
I look at Christian and he's staring at us like we are the most precious things in the world and it takes my breath away. "I think so too" I say suddenly wishing that I didn't have a tiny person wrapped around me so I could let my husband kiss me properly. I look at Emma and press a kiss to her nose.
"Do you want to go to Gram?" I ask referring to my mother and she looks at Christian and then back at me. She nods before furrowing her brow.
"Uncle Lell?" She asks. Her Uncle Elliott had quickly become one of her favorite people, much to Christian's annoyance as he wondered if he could possibly take Daddy's place as Emma's number one guy.
I press my palm to his cheek as I see his face slightly fall. "I want a minute alone with you" I tell him, hoping that it will snap him out of his thoughts and sure enough he smiles.
"I want to take some pictures of her alone" the photographer tells us. "And then I'll take her to your brother. I need him and your maid of honor anyway."
"You want to go take pictures?" I ask Emma and her eyes immediately light up as she loves the camera.
"Cheeeeese!" She yells as I set her down and she bolts for the lady with the camera.
"No running! Em, your dress is white!" I chuckle as I have a vision of her covered in grass stains.
She runs past the photographer and out of the tent and the photographer takes off after her, following behind her snapping photos like crazy.
"Alone at last" I giggle as I wrap my arms around him my lips finding his immediately. The sounds of Stand By Me surround us as the cocktail hour has already commensed. His arms wrap around me and he begins to slowly move.
"We're not supposed to dance yet."
"Who cares." He tells me as he begins to sing quietly in my ear. "Darlin, darlin, stand by me, oh stand by me, stand by me"
My face finds his neck and I breathe in his cologne. "Always" I whisper as my lips find his jaw. I pepper kisses along his jawline and down his neck. My arms wrap around his neck as we move slowly back and forth, without a care in the world of what's going on outside of the tent. "I wish they were here" I say quietly not wanting to break the romantic moment but knowing that I can always share what I'm feeling with this man holding me close.
"They are"
My eyes find his, the tears in his a direct reflection of mine as I understand what he means. They're in Emma. They're in us. They're everywhere. Their physical bodies aren't here, but they're with us. Everyday. And they wouldn't have missed this for the world. I nod and he presses a kiss to my forehead as the song comes to a close.
"Should we get out there, Mrs. Grey?"
"Yes please"
I start to pull away when he holds me tighter. "Hey"
"Hey what?" I say shooting him a cheeky smirk.
"I'm glad we did this, dollface"
I roll my eyes. "Fuck you"
"Oh believe me. I will. Before the night's over" he smiles and I gulp knowing he plans to make good on that promise.
After an hour of pictures, we're standing at the entrance to the tent waiting to make our entrance for the first time as "Mr. and Mrs. Grey." We take a few steps and I gasp taking in the beauty of the tent, the twinkling lights hanging from the top taking my breath away. I look around to see one hundred of our closest friends and family on their feet, the tears in their eyes as we make our way to the dance floor for our first dance. I see Emma standing in a chair at the table for the three of us in the center of the room just off of the dance floor, my mom and Christian's mom standing with her.
"For the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Grey." I can barely hear the first few notes of the song as everyone has begun clinking their glasses with their silverware and I smile knowing what they want us to do.
I look up, and he presses a kiss to my lips as the words surround us and I feel my heart constrict wondering what in the world possessed us to choose our first dance to be to this song. My eyes find Emma who waves excitedly at us and I remember.
"It's okay to cry, baby" I hear him say breaking me from my thoughts.
Oh, my love
My darling
I've hungered, hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me
When we were picking the song for our first dance, we'd gone back and forth on this song before deciding that we wanted to remember the two people that brought us together by using the song that they first danced to at their wedding. Alli and Michael loved each other deeply until the very end, and although the end was too soon, their love was real. I'm brought back to the words I said at their funeral "a love you see once- maybe twice in a lifetime." I smile as I realize that Christian and I now fall into this category.
Although I'm not looking at anyone besides Christian, I can hear the sounds of crying around us, a good number of the people here, attended Alli and Michael's wedding and are probably remembering our dearest friends along with us. The tears fall down my cheek rapidly and soon I feel Christian's lips on mine, and a tear drop hitting my cheek. And I know that he's using me to shield himself from the room, not wanting them to see him this vulnerable.
The song ends and we stay holding onto each other. The room is so silent you can hear a pin drop as we cling to each other over the memory of our friends. He pulls back finally and rests his head against mine.
"I love you, Steele"
"I love you too" I whisper, a small smile crossing my face at his attempt at a joke. His hands find my eyes as he gently wipes under them and I find his face doing the same before we make our way off the dance floor. Everyone had sat down for our dance, but as we left the floor, everyone was back on their feet clapping as if we had just given some profound performance and not had a breakdown during our first dance as man and wife.
We reach our table and Emma looks at Christian. "Time for cake?" She asks her eyes wide.
"Not yet, pumpkin" I tell her as I press my kiss to her forehead. "Do you want to dance with Daddy?" I ask her. We'd planned for her to dance with Christian before I danced with my father, but we weren't sure if she'd be running around or already too hyped up to adhere to a schedule.
"Dance?" She smiles before nodding and hopping off her chair and skipping towards the dance floor. My eyes don't stand a chance as My Girl begins to play and the tears are already flying down my cheeks as I watch my husband dance with my daughter. I look around the room and people have started singing more than likely to Emma. Everyone that has come into contact with her probably feels as if she's responsible for sunshine on cloudy days and the month of May with her good nature and kind heart even at two years old. The song ends and she comes running towards me. God how isn't she tired from all this running she's doing?
"Did you see me, Mommy?!"
"I saw you, you were so good!"
I help her climb into her chair but she manages to make her way into my lap and stands up.
"Emma!" Christian laughs and I shake my head at the fact that she's standing on my white dress with her shoes on. She looks down at her feet and then at me as if to say "oops". She sits down and tries to brush the dirt off and I laugh before pulling her to stand back up, dirty shoes and all and placing a kiss on her lips.
About two hours into the reception, I realize that I really have to go to the bathroom, so I've slipped away with Mia as I need someone to help me hold my dress up. I'm leaving the bathroom to head back to the reception when I feel a hand on my chest effectively pushing me back into the room.
"Really!?" I hear Mia laugh from on the other side of the door.
Christian doesn't even bother to reply before his lips are on mine, kissing me deeply, madly, aggressively. The kiss we haven't been able to have every time our lips touch in response to people clinking their glasses. Those have been soft gentle kisses, and we've hardly used any tongue. This is a kiss I feel all over, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. His tongue, explores my mouth and I taste the bourbon, coupled with my champagne making for a sensual concoction. "God I want to get you naked" he whispers against my mouth.
"Not yet" I moan, wanting nothing more than to give in and let him have his wicked way with me in the middle of our wedding.
"When can we leave?"
I chuckle. "Not yet" I whimper as he begins to plant wet kisses along the side of my face and neck.
"I need you so much Anastasia" his voice is hoarse, partly out of lust and partly due to all of the alcohol he's consumed I would imagine.
My hands wrap around his neck and I push myself as close as I can get to him in this cumbersome dress. "I need you too" I whisper as I take his bottom lip between my teeth and nibble. "I need my husband" I purr. Hearing the words leave my lips sets my skin on fire and seems to send said husband into a frenzy.
"Fuck me, wife" he replies as his hands find my chest and gropes my breasts hard.
"You're drunk" I giggle at him.
"I'm not, I swear" he tells me as his teeth nips the top of my breast as he sucks on the skin.
"Liar" I giggle.
"I'm not as drunk as I was at Alli and Michael's wedding"
I chuckle. "Oh that ain't saying much" I say shaking my head as I remember the drunken man that spent the night hitting on bridesmaids, and anyone in a dress for that matter, charming the pants off of every woman over 60, and overall being the life of the party.
Five Years Ago
"Want to dance, Steele?"
"Get real" I roll my eyes as I nurse the stiff martini that I'm hoping will give me the beer goggles to make some of these men start to appear attractive. The truth was Michael only had one truly attractive friend, and he pissed me off beyond belief.
Could I hook up with Christian? I think. I shake my head, ridding the craziness from my brain.
"Suit yourself, I don't know why you're fighting it" he says as he leans forward and whispers in my ear. "You know you want me"
I roll my eyes for the hundredth time and turn my head to look at him, our lips almost touching in the process. "You're drunk"
"In love" he chuckles. His hand finds mine and squeezes hard. "You know where to find me if you change your mind."
"Underneath any number of Alli's bridesmaids?" I snort.
"The only bridesmaid I'm interested in getting underneath is you, Steele" he says as he takes a sip of his beer. I watch as he swallows and wets his lips with his tongue and I have a vision of him rubbing his lips across mine. I look at the martini in my hand and immediately put it down, knowing that I've had enough if I'm fantasizing about kissing Christian.
Not in this lifetime.
"Come see me when you're sober, Grey. And we'll talk." I know he's just saying this because he's drunk and I'm not about to engage him in this stupid cat and mouse game he's trying to play. I stand up, leaving my glass at the table when his hand grabs mine again lacing our fingers.
"Steele"
"What, Grey"
"I'm serious"
"Sure you are" I chuckle.
He actually looks sad at my words and he promptly drops my hand in response. I take a few steps away from the table before I stop. Why was I fighting Christian so hard? Maybe… maybe he's just what I need to clear the cobwebs out. I mean wedding hookups were always a good time. I turn around willing to at least consider it when I see Jess, a friend of Alli's from work sitting in Christian's lap and I snort as I keep walking.
Crisis averted.
XXXXX
I'm brought out of my thoughts by Christian's mouth unrelenting against mine. "Just one taste, baby. Please" He pleads. "Just to get me through the night." I present him my lips and only when he shakes his head do I realize where he means.
"That's not where I want to kiss you, Anastasia" he growls and I groan knowing that he's about to turn me into a puddle of need.
"Yes" I whisper simply.
His eyebrows almost fly to the ceiling in shock. "I was expecting you to put up a fight" he says as he gets on his knees in front of me and climbs completely underneath my dress. I look down and I chuckle because I look normal because of how big my skirt is. I moan when I feel his lips at the apex of my thighs wishing I could find his head underneath all of the material.
"Fuck" I moan. He pushes my underwear to the side, and I'm surprised he doesn't rip them completely from me. My thoughts about my unripped panties are long forgotten as his tongue slides through my folds. I didn't realize I was as wet as I am but the second I feel his tongue rub against my clit I'm ready to come. "Christian I don't want to come standing up, I have nothing to lean on" I say, reminding him how powerful my orgasms are and how they've been known to cause my legs to give out.
I feel his hands cup my bottom as he works me over. "I got you, baby"
I whimper and I feel myself nearing the edge when the door opens. My eyes fly open and I see Elliott standing in front of me with three shots of what I assume is tequila. "Sis in law" he chuckles. "Where's that asshole brother of mine, we're doing a shot" he says and I breathe a sigh of relief when I realize that he's way more drunk than Christian.
"Uhh… I don't know… maybe you should go find him?"
"Mia said she left you guys together. I figured you were fucking but I didn't hear anything before I came in"
I'm about to answer when I hear "You still could have knocked asshole." Christian climbs out from under my dress and Elliott's eyes widen before he starts hysterically laughing.
"Oh God, that's rich."
"You couldn't have stayed under there. He didn't know!" I stomp my foot and Christian looks at Elliott and then at me before he wraps an arm around me.
"He knew baby" he says before he presses a kiss to my temple.
I look at him and he smiles sheepishly. "If you're in the vicinity, my brother is on top of you. The second I didn't see him in this room, I had a hunch"
"Just give me the damn shot" I growl, annoyed by the fact that his brother knew what we were doing and that I didn't get my orgasm.
We head back into the reception just in time for everyone to be singing at the top of their lungs. I look around at everyone that has come together for our wedding and I have to say that I've never been happier. I glance upward realizing that Christian was right. They were here. And they wouldn't have missed this for anything.
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
We are nearing the end of the night and somehow, Emma is still awake. I'm not sure if it's all the people, or all the sugar but she's been running around for the past twenty minutes. Christian and I were leaving for Hawaii the next night and while we planned to spend the whole day with Emma tomorrow we wanted to begin preparing her for Mommy and Daddy's departure now.
We were staying at our house tonight, wanting to give Emma one more night of normalcy before she begins her 'Honeymoon' tour consisting of nights at my parents, Christian's parents, Elliott and Mia's houses.
The last song is starting and we make our way to the dancefloor. Christian pulls Emma into his arms as the band announces that this song is for the three of us.
"This has been the best day of my life" I tell him and I'm rewarded with a heart-stopping smile.
"Mine too, baby. You're going to be so happy you married me" he chuckles. "I'm going to make you so happy"
"You already do" I tell him as his lips find mine just in time for the entire room to start singing.
She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine
A/N: So they're married! I thought this was the perfect place to end this chapter AND I actually have a little bit of steam still left for this story. I thought I was going to end it, but I mean I have to do Emma's adoption aaand the introduction to another little person, RIGHT? ;)