Author's Note: Thanks to all my loyal readers! I've been enjoying every step of this process. This is my first fan fiction, and your support and encouragement has made this an amazing experience. Thank you also to my lovely beta, Cyberian Tsuinami, whose notes are invaluable. And finally, thank you to Bioware - they own all the Mass Effect content (and maybe a little of my soul...).
Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 11: "Forever"
Shepard
She checked her messages on her omni-tool as she boarded the Normandy. One from Garrus: "Just checking in. I know you can't respond while you're groundside, but I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you. Be careful." She smiled at that one. He was letting his sentimental side out, and she found that she liked it. The next one was from Tali:
Shepard,
I'm fine – I wanted you to know. I will return to Rannoch the moment the doctors clear me. There is much to be done. I hear the Alliance has already put you to work. When they finally give you that vacation you deserve, please come to Rannoch. I will make up a room for you in the house that I will build. You will forever have a place on our homeworld, Shepard. Please do not lose touch.
Your friend,
Tali'Zorah vas Rannoch
"Commander," Joker said, breaking her reverie. She had stopped at the doors of the cockpit to read her messages, and he swiveled around in his chair, awaiting instruction.
EDI made a throat-clearing noise – she was practically human, now, Shepard realized – and Joker rolled his eyes.
"Sorry," he said, "Captain."
"Set a course for the Citadel. And EDI, please connect me to Admiral Hackett. I'll be in the comm room."
"Of course, Shepard," EDI responded.
Shepard wasted no time heading for the comm room. Whitney had already seen the three alliance marines to crew quarters, and she had plenty of time to speak to them en route to the Citadel.
"Admiral Hackett is available on vidcomm," EDI's voice spoke over the PA system as soon as Shepard set foot in the room.
"Connect him," she said.
The hologram of the Admiral appeared before her.
"Captain Shepard," he said. "How did it go on Omega?"
"Admiral Hackett," she said, saluting him. "We recovered three of the Alliance black ops team. They had managed to infiltrate Cerberus, but then Omega was besieged by reaper tech hybrids that were part of an old Cerberus project. We managed to clear the station of them, and it looks like they were the last of them. The black ops team lost four of their members to these things. I'll forward all the intel I got to you."
"And Cerberus?"
"Sir, new leadership has emerged. Miranda Lawson. She resigned from Cerberus while she was working with me, and she aided the Alliance on Earth. My assessment is that she is exactly the person we need in charge of Cerberus. She's smart, level-headed, and she's not an extremist."
Hackett considered this.
"I'll pass your recommendation along. People are wary of Cerberus, Shepard. Does your friend know what she's getting herself into?"
"She does, sir. I believe she can turn Cerberus around, make it into a legitimate organization."
"I hope you're right, Shepard," he said. "Good work, as always. I expect an official report once you've returned to the Citadel."
"Yes, sir."
"Hackett out."
As soon as the hologram flickered into nothingness, she turned, heading for her cabin. She had a private call to make.
Garrus
The call came in late, but he was still awake. Turians generally didn't sleep much, and he had been pacing the floors of his apartment, digesting the day's events. He answered it immediately when he saw that it came from the Normandy.
"Hey," Shepard said, a smile warming her face when he answered.
"Hey," he said back, echoing that same warmth in his voice. "How did the mission go?"
"Well, it was definitely more complicated than I had expected," she chuckled.
"When isn't it?" Garrus said.
She nodded her agreement, then filled him in: "Aria was trying to retake Omega, and she ran into Cerberus."
"Cerberus?"
He was surprised to hear that. After the Illusive Man's failed attempt to control the reapers, he had expected Cerberus to fragment into chaos and then dissolve into nothingness. What were they doing fighting Aria on Omega?
"Yeah," she said, with a small, sly smile that he had come to recognize meant she had some juicy detail she wasn't sharing.
"And?" he prompted. "What else?"
"Well, Cerberus has a new leader," she teased, crossing her arms. He could see the sparkle in her eye even through the vidcomm.
"Am I supposed to guess?" he said, raising the ridge above his eye, "Or are you going to tell me?"
"Losing your touch, detective Vakarian? I guess I could tell you."
He chuckled, "It's been a while since I was a detective, Shepard. Now, I prefer to shoot first and ask questions later."
"I doubt that tendency will serve you well on the council," she said, crossing her arms and giving him one of her wicked looks.
"So you really are going to make me guess, hmm?"
"Can't let you get soft, Vakarian."
He chuckled and leaned back in his chair, thinking through the possibilites. The Illusive Man was dead, as was Kai Leng. He had witnessed that one himself, Shepard whirling in her chair, fist shattering the assasin's blade, omni-tool knife slashing into his side. Her voice had taken on a harsh tone he rarely heard from her, and her eyes had burned.
But he was getting distracted. Damn, he really was going soft. Well, assuming Cerberus hadn't had time to apply their Lazarus experiment to Kai Leng or The Illusive Man, or Henry Lawson… Huh. Lawson.
He met Shepard's eye over the vid and saw from her grin that she knew he'd solved it.
"Miranda?" he asked.
"You got it. Ms. Lawson jumped in to fill the power vacuum and has Cerberus under her charge, now."
"Hmm," he said.
"Hmm?" She mimicked him.
"I don't know what I think of that," he confessed.
Miranda hadn't made many friends among the crew of the Normandy, but he admired her resignation from Cerberus. It showed she could see reason, and he had to admit she had fought hard to right Cerberus's wrongdoings since she had left.
"I think it couldn't be better," Shepard said honestly. "We have an ally, and Miranda is the best person to keep Cerberus in line. She knows how they work, she can earn their loyalty, and she has motivation to keep them clean."
"Her father," Garrus guessed.
"Exactly," Shepard said. "Miranda's made it her mission in life to undo her father's work. It runs deep, Garrus, and I think it will serve her well."
"I'm glad to hear it," Garrus said, truthfully.
"Getting Aria and Miranda to work together was the real struggle."
He couldn't help the way his eyes widened at that. She chuckled at his bug-eyed look.
"You never cease to amaze me, Shepard. First, the turians and the krogan. Then, the quarians and the geth. Now you have Aria T'Loak working with Cerberus. Should I worry that you've put me under this spell of yours, too?"
She shot him a look filled with both longing and amusement.
"You can be released any time you want, big guy."
"Never," he said, his voice low.
He would worship this woman his entire life and never regret a moment of it.
"Good," she said.
A yawn seemed to catch her by surprise and she stretched out in her chair. She moved in such an unusual way – twisting her arms back in a way that, were she a turian, she would be blocked by her cowl.
"It's been a long day," she apologized.
"You should get some rest," he told her.
"Oh, before I do, you should know," she said, "I received word from Tali."
He breathed a sigh of relief: "She's awake?"
"Yes, and as I understand it, she's eager to return to Rannoch and dive in to the redevelopment, there."
"Of course," Garrus replied, feeling his mandibles twitch in a warm smile. "She was always a bundle of energy."
There was a short pause, and Shepard yawned again.
"I'm glad she's alright," Garrus finally said.
"You know, you did what you could," Shepard told him, her face taking on that earnest, open look that she had when she was trying to convince him of something. "She's alive because of you."
"She might have been on her feet a week ago if I had reacted faster," he replied automatically.
"Garrus," she said, her voice soft.
She looked at him a moment, letting his name be her supplication. He met her eyes calmly.
"We're all lucky to be alive. And everyone did their best – more than I could possibly have asked of you. All the credit the galaxy gives me – I owe it to you. My team. You all surprised me at every turn by giving more than you needed to."
"Shepard," he said, letting his own voice drop like hers had. "We all would have followed you into hell and back again."
"Just like old times," she said, smiling.
"Yeah. Just like old times."
Her smile brightened and he wished then that he could reach out and kiss her, the way she liked, and nip at her neck. He needed the smell of her, the taste of her, the feel of her in his arms. He suppressed a sigh.
"Get some sleep," he said. "I know you need it. When will you be back on the Citadel?"
"We dock late tomorrow. I'll message you our ETA once Joker gets us to the relay."
"Okay," he said. "I'll see you then."
"Okay," she replied, and he could see the way her shoulders were stooping from exhaustion. Good thing her bed was within arm's reach.
"Good night, Shepard," he said, his voice disclosing what he wasn't saying in words.
The way she smiled back at him told him she knew exactly what he meant.
"Good night, Garrus," she said.
And then the screen flickered to black.
Shepard
She only slept a few hours, but the sleep was heavy and absent of nightmares. When she woke, she found herself reaching for her datapad, still tangled in the blankets and loose with sleepiness. A dream lingered in the back of her mind – a happy feeling whose source she couldn't quite place. Then she remembered their conversation last night and a thought emerged.
She ran a search, and for a moment, she felt like she had months ago at the start of her romance with Garrus. Then, the searches had been turian-human mating, in the purely physical sense, along with early courtship rituals. The results had left her flushed and embarrassed and a little fearful for all the things that could go wrong.
Now, the search she ran still pertained to turian-human mating, but went much deeper. What did it mean for a turian to be in love?
Garrus rarely waxed sentimental, but she knew him well enough to see how his behavior towards her had changed. She understood exactly how he felt, because those same emotions governed her own behavior now. Tones of voice, turns of phrase, secret looks and private caresses.
She felt a strange, giddy sensation rise up in her with every page of extranet wisdom she absorbed. She wanted to laugh out loud, not from humor, but just from joy. She shut down the datapad, letting herself revel in that feeling of lightness.
If she was reading him right, and she was sure she was, then she may have stumbled into one of the most powerful experiences of love and completeness that anyone could have.
It had snuck up on her, in the midst of war, death, and hardship. He had snuck up on her and stolen her away while she was distracted. And she didn't mind a bit.
And if she was reading him right…
She would have to talk to him when she saw him next.
She cast aside the bedsheets and dressed in regulation Alliance blues, making her way down to the mess hall to grab a protein bar and a mug of coffee, which she took to Liara's office. She knocked on the solid steel doors.
"It's Shepard," she said, as if her all-seeing friend didn't know.
"Come in," Liara's voice called from inside, and the doors whirred open in front of her.
"Got a minute?" Shepard asked.
Liara nodded: "Did you need something?"
"Just wanted to talk," she explained. "I haven't had a chance to see how you were doing since we left Earth."
"To be honest, I'm a little overwhelmed," Liara began. She stood, picking up a datapad and typing something into it. "I lost many of my agents in the reaper attacks. I will need to recruit, re-staff. I actually wanted to ask you something."
"Shoot," Shepard said, settling herself into a chair and taking a sip of her coffee.
Liara continued to type as she spoke: "My resources are limited – at least, not as extensive as they were before. I need to regroup and rebuild my network."
Shepard nodded. She wasn't entirely sure where Liara was going with this.
"I would like to establish a permanent base of operations somewhere. I will need to acquire a new ship and outfit it with stealth capabilities, but most importantly, I need to find a site – somewhere out of the way, and that offers no value to pirates, slavers, or colonists. I have been researching and identified a few candidates."
She handed the datapad to Shepard, showing her the list of planets and asteroids that Liara had identified as sufficiently covert.
"This won't be a quick process," Liara continued. "And I understand that you will still have duties as a Spectre – assignments and missions…"
She trailed off.
"I would be glad to help you scout these locations, Liara," Shepard said. "And I may be able to help you with the ship, too. You may be the shadow broker, but I have a few useful connections myself."
She smiled at her friend, who was beaming at her.
"Thank you, Shepard," Liara said enthusiastically.
"Of course," Shepard replied, though she had to admit that she felt uneasy knowing that Liara would one day leave the Normandy. Tali's full attention was on returning to Rannoch to help her people re-assimilate. Vega was on Earth, occupied with his training. Miranda was running Cerberus, now. Jack was a teacher, and couldn't afford to leave her students to gallivant around on adventures. Ashley, Mordin, Thane, and Legion…
Her team – people she had trusted with her life, in whose lives she had become intimately involved – were scattered across the galaxy like so much debris.
And Garrus… Garrus was on the Citadel. Still part of her life, but she couldn't deny the strangeness of his distance. Even long before she had felt the first aches of love for him arise in her body, she had always kept him at her side. Every time they went planet-side, every infiltration, every exploration; she had always felt safer knowing he was watching her back.
She arose. It wouldn't do to reveal these feelings to Liara. She had her own responsibilities, and who was Shepard to ask her to set those aside for her own nostalgic longings?
As if reading her thoughts, Liara's gaze softened and she spoke gently:
"Shepard, you know I will always see myself as part of your team," she said. "I've installed one of my quantum communicators onboard the Normandy, and I want you to consider me your first source for information."
Shepard perked up at that.
"A quantum communicator? Where?"
Liara smiled sheepishly: "Your cabin. I planted it when I was there to record your story for the time capsule."
Shepard laughed at that.
"I didn't know what was going to happen, then. But I knew that I always wanted to be able to reach you. No matter the circumstances," she paused, and when Shepard didn't respond immediately, she insisted: "The communicator cannot be activated from a distance. Both parties must accept the call. Don't worry, Shepard. Your private life is private."
"Mostly," Shepard replied, raising an eyebrow. "Normally, I'd be concerned about someone planting mysterious tech in my cabin, but since it's you…" she drifted off. "Thank you, Liara. I don't want to lose you."
"You won't," Liara reassured. "I may be in hiding on a remote planet, or in plain sight on the Citadel, but wherever I am, you will always be able to find me, Shepard."
She clasped Shepard's hands in her own, her blue gaze searching.
"I owe you my life, Shepard. Multiple times over. And the galaxy owes you its future," she paused. "But most importantly, you have been a truer friend to me than I have ever known. And for that, you have my loyalty and my friendship, forever."