Is Love Safe?

Chapter Eleven- Find Yourself

Fu, Hao, Ming, Chen Hue Leigh (C) mine.

Po's steps were heavy, the fallen autumn leaves softly crunched underneath his feet with every step he took, a broken trail in his wake. His eyes looked down as he wandered aimlessly amongst the tall trees of the forest depths. The night air was cool against his fur, brushing through ever strand on his cheeks with a gentle stroke of a breeze that danced amongst the tall tree; the moon's luminosity slicing through the gaps in the branches and down onto the floor in rays of white light. Po's glowing green eyes trained on his feet as he walked onwards, his staff in paw, with an unconscious mind.

A gust of air burst through rushed past the panda and ruffled his long fur. Po shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. Having forgotten his cloak the Dragon Warrior swore under his breath- the words coming out in a vapour of warm air and evaporating into nothing-metaphorically ridding him of just one troubling thought amongst the many that swirled in his mind like a whirlpool.

The monochromatic bear sighed deeply.

Finally slowing his insentient walk to a halt Po stood in the basking glow of a moonlight ray, casting a great shadow down on the white-lit forest floor. Po stared at his outline of gloom, noticing the changes of his body's outline. Something began to build up in the panda's stomach, something that soon exploded in a firecracker of emotions: regret, anger, hatred, disgust, love all of them tearing at him from the inside out, wanting to be set free and unleashed upon the world. Po though he was going to lose his mind and inadvertently slip back into his feral state again. It was quite the other way.

The staff in his paw was heavy, it hurt his wrist to keep a hold of.

His knees ached and he felt like a entire weight of armour was strapped to his shoulders, pulling him down to the earth. The panda dropped the staff and was quick to follow as he collapsed o his knees; like the stars above, fresh tears fought their way out his eyes and down his cheek. Sobs chocked at his throat with an iron grip, his chest tightened as if tied with rope. With glassy orbs, Po gazed skyward through the break in the leaves, the full moon that loomed overhead bore down with a pallid face and curved smile. Po could bear it no longer; this was not the first time he had unintentionally had a breakdown- nor did he believe it to be the last.

Things had never gone back to the way they were in the Jade palace after the group's return from the snowy mountains of the Dragon's Pass.

More tears fought their way upfront, Po shakily gasped.

The wounds that he had obtained on the journey over a year ago had left more than just scars and flesh wounds in the kung fu master's eyes. Po could still see all the blood that violated the purity of the white snow, feel the pain of his skin being cut, torn and ripped at. When the gang had returned to the Jade Palace, thus fulfilling Po's promise of returning the panda, it was never the same. Quite unusual for the optimistic bear, Po would usually draw in on himself whenever he met eye to eye with any of the kung fu masters or Shifu. Tigress was the hardest to look at the most, not because of the bite injuries that she had sustained during the fight with Chen Leigh, but what those wounds represented. The feeling of loss and being alone in the world, it always struck the panda harder and more deeper than any blade could. At times, like now, Po would discretely slip away and find a place of sanctuary that would allow him to pour his heart out openly in grief and sorrow.

For weeks at a time, his emotional breakdowns went unheard and unseen. He never wanted the others to see of his weakness, he couldn't bear it.

The nights were just as bad, or worse, than the breakdowns. For the first few days since their return the panda would scrape, toss and turn in his bed. His claws would scratch and swipe widely as his dreams toyed and played with his mind, some ending with him snapping awake and finding his body doused in sweat. Other nights he would just lie there, staring up at the wooden ceiling and try not to think too much on the memories, but the harder he forced to push them away the greater they would return and claw at his mind.

The tears had now brought on hollow cries, the panda sniffed, still never taking his eyes from the sky.

The months went by, and when Tigress moved into his room there was no hiding it from her. The first night together Po bolted upright and screamed to the heavens, his body covered in sweat. Tigress was instantly awake at his side. With a soft face and a inviting paw, the pair silently walked to the kitchen. With a cup of tea in each of their paws, Tigress gently coaxed Po into telling her all that had happened to him. She was silent, understanding, saying nothing as she listened to every word the distraught panda had to say. After he finished, the striped feline took her time to set her cup aside, take the bear's huge paws in her own and give the simple- yet prevailing- words saying that no matter what, she was by his side.

Po was still at her reply, his face sagging but held up with a little smile. His eyes were unblinking, hypnotic at the moment in their effect. Tigress could see he was thankful for her support, though he did not say it. The drop of his eyes to his paws said to the feline he was still doubtful of himself. So, getting from her seat and walking round to hug her lover's neck from behind, Po was hesitant to respond to her touch but slipped up a paw and cupped her cheek, stroking the fur with a resilient touch. They stayed there till both agreed it was time to head back to bed.

And now, kneeling before the forest, Po dropped his head and shook it violently. Tears whipped from his face and fell to the floor around him. With his teeth clenched and throat dry the panda let out the wave of emotions swirling inside of him in the form of a anguishing roar.

Now leaning forward on his front paws, Po cried hard. The tears cascading down his cheeks, matting down the fur and falling to the floor in little puddle on the crisp dry leaves. The panda's heart thumped and beat against his chest like a drum, threatening to burst through his ribcage. Po brought up a paw to his chest and grasped at the waist coat covering his fur and heart. He paused, feeling something solid against his paw, hiding underneath the cloth. Slipping his finger inside, he felt a pocket and something in the shape of a box against his claws. Gripping the small cube, forgetting about his current state, Po held it flat in his palm in the moonlight. He flipped open the lid of the box and found himself starring at the proposal ring he had bought.

He had completely forgotten that he had kept the trinket in his coat pocket. He first swore at not remembering to keep it back at the palace where it was safe. But what then happened seemed, even at the time, like an inevitable natural circumstance of all that had gone before. Looking deeply into the ring, he saw the oblong shape of his face starring back. But it was not the tear stricken, grieving face he wore presently, more like a second face- a reflecting persona- that bore the significant little-lost boy smile and glittering jade eyes of a panda who stood tall and proud of himself. Though Po's lips did not move, the reflection seemed to speak words to him quietly, as if whispering right in his ear.

"Don't give in now. Stand Up. Fight. You. Are. The Dragon Warrior! Fight!" The reflection encouraged with a indomitable voice. "Fight!"

Po's green eyes hardened as the same word kept on echoing in his ears. Fight. Fight. Fight! The panda tightened his lips, brushing the surface of the golden ring with his thumb. When he saw the reflection of himself again in the jewellery the hardened face was gone. Now only seeing how he truly looked the Dragon Warrior closed the box, sitting back on his haunches and tucking the ring away back inside his coat pocket, he wiped his eyes with the back of his paw and sniffed. He pinched the bridge of his nose and glanced aside to the mangled form of his staff lying in the border of the darkness of the forest and the shine of the light.

Po reached over and clasped the wooden stick in his paw it was light in his grip; bringing it up to his body, he got to his feet. With a tight lip stuck in the form of a grin, Po stood with a new determination in his eyes. The panda turned on the balls of his heels and strode off back through the darkened woods. He didn't need to know where he was going, something told inside his head, like whispering in his ear, drawing back to the place where he was most needed.

Soon the lights of Tai Lung's house glimmered in the distance, Po walked back on the path leading up to the building. He stopped for a moment and looked back over his shoulder, into the gloom of the forest where realisation had struck. Then with a new smile spreading across his muzzle, his heart racing so fast it merely seemed impossible for him to keep still, Po sprang on the tips of his toes and ran as fast as he could to the front door.

When Po burst into the house, everyone jumped- scared at the sudden intrusion. All eyes were drawn to the panda as he stood in the doorway.

Shifu was on his feet. "Po! Where have you been?"

But the Dragon Warrior was not listening. He heard nothing but the rapid beat of his own heart. His jade eyes danced from person to person, searching for the one feline he wanted to lay eyes on the most. He spotted her, across the room, furthest from him in the shadows of the candles. Her eyes burned brightly, showing relief and happiness in their blaze. Po's orbs connected with her own, and with a powerful stride in his step the panda walked up to Tigress, dropping his staff in the process before taking Tigress' cheeks in his paws and planting a lustful, longing kiss on her lips before she could get a word in.

Apart from Ming- who only could listen as to what was going on- the rest of the group's jaws dropped as Po continued to kiss the striped kung fu master in full view. Fu was just as stunned as the others and Tai Lung that she didn't even bother to cover Hao's eyes.

The pair finally separated, forgetting of the audience watching. All that Tigress could see was the sparkle in Po's eyes, telling her everything that he wanted now and then. Tigress felt a tingle of pleasure run up her spine and flush her cheeks a rosy red. She instantly said yes through her eyes. Po acknowledged her acceptance and swept the feline off her feet. Carrying her bridal style, the couple smiled at each other before Tigress took the panda into another passionate kiss. Walking into the only room available, Po closed the door behind them with his foot.

The main room was in an occupation of astonished silence. Everyone's mouths agape. It was all so sudden and unexpected.

Ming, having fully understood what occurred through her heightened sense of hearing, giggled. "Sounds like somebody is in for a lucky night."