I was about to go to bed when all of a sudden my muse was like "WRITE!" so I did. I combined a few ideas here, but particularly this prompt:

Insecure Killian, his low self esteem and him wondering if he's really worth to Emma. Emma feels something's wrong and reassures him.

And then I saw a post on tumblr that said this:

Imagine if Killian's dad isn't dead but turns up to be alive and very much not interested in finding his son(s). Imagine Killian finding him again and fighting with him in a duel. Imagine him breaking down and being mad because this man abandoned him and his brother. Imagine Emma pressing her palms against too hot cheeks and calming him down.

So that's how this came to be. I changed them both just a teeny tiny bit, but I think I like how it turned out. It's pretty darn angsty, but the ending is kind of fluffy. Gosh I can't wait until March. Like seriously, I'm beginning to go insane.

Disclaimer: If I owned Once Upon A Time, I would be on the set every day watching these brilliant people. I am not on the set...nor will I ever be probably.

Also, this chapter does contain some basic new character spoilers and plenty of head-cannon for how those characters fit into the situation here. Just warning you that if you don't know the spoilers (ok...seriously if anyone doesn't follow spoilers tell me. I want to know how you keep yourself sane).

Enjoy! =)

Only A Pirate

It's wasn't possible. Couldn't be. He was gone. Dead. He had abandoned them at all too young an age, leaving them for dead. And yet here he was standing before him on his ship as if he had never left, acting like he owned the place. Like he owned him.

Killian swung his sword up, releasing his anger, the hatred he had gathered for this man throughout the years since he had last seen him. The long 300 some years in which his only comfort was that he had left them together, him and Liam. But when Liam had left too, Killian only had hatred for the man.

His father.

Another blow, easily blocked by Blackbeard, the pirate known across the seas. But Killian hadn't known. He didn't know that piracy ran through the blood in his veins like royalty ran through Emma. So when he had shown up on the docks, Killian had questioned everything.

He had left them.

Using his hook to catch his father's sword, he swung at him again with his own blade, but once again it was blocked. How, Killian didn't know. But there was so much that he didn't know about this man. So many questions that he had no answers to.

And when his knees found the deck, exhausted from the emotions and the battle; terrified of the realities he would have to face, Killian didn't flinch when his opponent brought his sword to his neck. He stayed right where he was. Thoughts raced through his mind, of all the good moments in his life, of Liam and of Milah, and of the bad moments, losing them, his hand, piracy. But most of all, he thought of Emma.

He knew. With that sword at his neck he didn't move. He didn't care if he would die. Emma didn't love him anyways. Sure, she had said it once or twice but that didn't mean she really really, deep down meant it. Other people had said it too.

Like him.

Plus, who was he? A pirate? A pirate would never be fit for a princess. His thoughts flashed back to Neverland, when Charming had instantly called him about. He was nothing but a one handed pirate with a drinking problem, and there was no way in any of the realms that Emma would truly, forever love him. After all, true love's kiss hadn't worked.

In the end, however, his mind settled on one thought. A question. One he needed the answer to before he met his untimely end. And so, with weary, tired eyes, Killian looked up and spoke softly to his father.

"Why?"

"Why not?" he answered simply, turning from his son and walking across the deck. "You and your brother were nothing but monsters. Needy little monsters. And you! You took her from me. You took your mother away!" he cried out and Killian fell from his knees to the ground. His father was right. He was a pirate: a drunk, one handed, good for nothing, life ruining pirate. He could only take. That was it.

"I loved her, and then you came and took her away. And for that, Killian" he said, spitting out his name as if it was poison, "I will never forgive you. You don't deserve a happy ending, my boy. You're a villain. Have been one since birth, and as your friend so gladly pointed out to me, villains don't get happy endings. You took away mine and now I shall take away yours."

And then he realized it. Killian looked up and realized who was there. Who had shown up in the middle of the battle. "Emma" he spoke softly. He wanted to tell her to run, to get away from him. That she wasn't safe, but there was no time. Blackbeard grabbed her arm, hard, and Killian could see her wince.

"I can see it. You love her. And what a fine lass. But you took my love from me, and now I will take yours."

That was it. With a new burst of energy, Killian jumped up, grabbing his sword and ran towards his father. With his grip still on Emma and the quickness of Killian's actions, he wasn't prepared, and the sword hit right in his upper shoulder. Exactly where he had been aiming. "Now," Killian said, gritting through his teeth, anger seeping out of every pore, "Get out of here. And never, ever come back."

Killian stepped back, moving away from Blackbeard, and as quickly as he had come, he left. Emma stood shocked on the deck, watching the man go, but next to her, Killian moved away, turning his back to her and heading towards the upper deck.

"Wait...Killian" she called out, following him and putting her hand on his arm, just like she did every time they needed to talk.

He shrugged her off, "Leave Emma. Go find your parents. You'll be safe with them."

She stopped short, her arm falling silently to her side. But she didn't move. Emma stayed exactly where she was, watching him walk further away from her. When he reached the top deck he stayed with his back turned, and a few minutes later he finally spoke again, "I thought I told you to leave. I'm dangerous Emma. You need to get out of here."

"You're not dangerous."

"Bloody hell!" he yelled, turning around, and even from the distance she could see all of the pain and anger and hurt in his blue eyes, "You're a princess Emma. You're perfect, and I'm not. I'm a pirate! And do you know what bloody pirates do? We steal, and we take and we ruin lives. I don't want to ruin another, especially yours."

Emma was shocked. She had never seen him like this, but still she didn't move. "I'm not going anywhere."

He let out a deep breath as he looked down at his feet and then, slowly, he looked back up at her with eyes so full of sadness and worry that she almost didn't know what to do. But her feet moved on their own will, and soon she was standing before him, her hands reaching up to press her palms against his hot cheeks, a thumb stroking over his cheekbone. Her eyes searched his, looking for the answers to the too difficult questions he couldn't respond to. "You're not dangerous" she started, and he said nothing, but she still stood there, hands pressed against his face, "You are the one who keeps me safe. You found me, and Henry, and kept him from the witch, and you have never left. Not once. You may be a pirate, but you're my pirate, and the only way you're going to ruin my life is if you walk out of it. Got it?"

He still said nothing, his eyes falling, tired and alone. So she did something else; she pulled him into her kiss, not hot and passionate. Not like on Neverland. Just slow and loving, like she was pouring all of her emotions into it. He responded slightly, but when Emma pulled away he took a step back.

"I'm only going to hurt you Emma. Everyone who I love dies, or leaves or is taken from me."

"A long time ago someone really wise told me to try something new and trust. I didn't listen" she said with a slight smile, "but he was right. So now, please Killian," she continued as she closed the space between them once again, "let me help you. Because I'm in this for the long haul. And that means I'm not leaving anytime soon, whether the rest of the world or universe or whatever these realms are a part of likes it or not."

"You sure?" he asked simply.

"I've never been more sure of something in my life."