The tears came after Olivia had walked the block to Alex's apartment and gotten into her car. She had completely screwed things up and she didn't know how to fix them. She still didn't know what else Alex had expected her to do when her fever had risen so much. If Olivia had just left Alex alone instead of calling a doctor, her fever could have gotten even higher and Alex could have died.

On some level, she understood that Alex had been being neither logical nor rational when she had gotten angry at her, but that realization didn't make it hurt any less, and Olivia was still furious at herself for inadvertently doing something to frighten Alex. She had no idea what had happened to her or why she was so afraid, but she felt that alone in a hospital was not the best place for Alex to be right now.

But what could she do? Alex had pushed her away. Alex had made her leave.

She had lost Alex and she didn't know if she would ever get her back, or earn her trust again, not after this.

And she still had no idea what had set Alex off.

She couldn't deal with this. She had to go back and be with Alex, whether Alex wanted her there or not. She had to make sure Alex was okay.

She got out of the car, swiping at a few stray tears, and jogged the block to the hospital. She flashed her badge at one of the nurses and asked which room Alex Cabot was in. The nurse pointed her in the right direction, and Olivia forced herself not to run to Alex's side.

When she reached the door, she raised her hand to knock, but froze when she heard a strangled whimper coming from inside the room. Olivia hardly dared to breathe as the sound came again – quiet, melancholy. So tortured and full of pain that Olivia felt her own heart clench in response.

She crept into the room and said, "Alex," in a gentle, soft voice, not wanting to startle the blonde.

Alex looked up at her, trying to muster her usual icy glare, but her reddened eyes and the tear tracks on her cheeks sucked some of the punch out of her expression. "Olivia, I told you to leave," she said, but her voice cracked on the last syllable and she looked away.

Olivia carefully made her way to Alex's side, not wanting to scare Alex by moving suddenly. "I know. But I'm worried about you. And I want you to know that I am so, so sorry for scaring you. I never wanted that. Please, let me stay with you. Let me be here for you."

Alex shook her head. "No."

"Alex, I –" The words were on the tip of her tongue, the words she had never said before although she felt them so deeply they scared her, and she knew she could not say them now, not when Alex was in no shape to believe them.

Alex sighed and rested her head on her pillow, wincing as the needle in her arm shifted. "Olivia, I want you to go."

Olivia moved to her side, reaching a hand out to gently brush Alex's cheek. "I'm not going anywhere, Alex," she said softly. "I care about you a lot and I'm going to stay right by your side, where I belong. But I'd really like it if you would talk to me."

Alex avoided Olivia's gaze and was silent for several moments. "I'm sorry, Liv," she finally whispered. "I'm sorry, I just – now – this isn't a good time or place for me."

"I know," Olivia said, matching Alex's quiet tone. "Which is why I want to be with you."

Alex nodded, and when she looked up, her eyes held the most vulnerable expression Olivia had ever seen on her. "Will you – will you sit up here with me?"

Olivia smiled slightly. "Of course."

She climbed onto the bed beside Alex, maneuvering herself so that she would not inadvertently jostle the IV. She tentatively slipped an arm around Alex, and her eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat when Alex leaned easily into her, resting her head on Olivia's shoulder. Both of them sighed deeply, and Olivia could feel the tension evaporating from Alex's body. She pulled her closer, wishing she could shelter Alex from whatever turmoil she was currently enduring, but glad at least that Alex was letting her be there for her.

"Maybe you could try to sleep," Olivia said quietly.

Alex shook her head. "The beeping of the machines, people coming in and out – it's too much."

Olivia reached over to feel her forehead. "Your fever seems to be coming way down. It's only a little warm now. How are you feeling?"

"Better, but that's not saying a lot."

Olivia nodded and removed her hand. "Alex," she said, hesitating slightly but knowing that she had to find out, "why are you so afraid of hospitals? Who hurt you?"

Alex sighed. "I was just in a hospital once, for a long time. It wasn't an experience I'd like to repeat."

Olivia's mind started spinning with all the health crises that could have landed Alex in the hospital for a long time. Cancer. A heart disease. Something serious that might take Alex away from her even now.

She forced herself to even out her breathing. "Were – were you sick?

Alex shook her head. "You know, I really don't want to talk about it. I just want to go home, and move forward, and put this behind us." She paused. "Having you here – it helps. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry, sweetheart?"

When Alex looked up at her, Olivia was surprised to find tears glistening in her eyes. "For needing you so much."

Olivia hugged her tightly. "Never feel sorry for needing me, Alex. I need you, too. More than you know."

Alex sniffled, a sound so unlike her that Olivia couldn't help but check her temperature again, just to make sure the fever hadn't magically reappeared.

"Why don't you try to sleep, Alex? Just try. It's late and I know you're still not feeling so well and you've had a long day. I promise I'll be right here when you wake up."

Alex looked at her again, the vulnerability still shining in her baby blues. "You won't let anyone touch me, though, right?"

"Well, the nurse might want to take your temperature or blood pressure or change your IV."

Alex shook her head. "You have to wake me if anyone comes in. Promise?"

"Okay, I promise. I would never let anyone hurt you, Alex. Not on my watch. So don't ever worry about that, okay?"

"I'll try," Alex said softly.

Without thinking, Olivia pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. She was surprised when Alex leaned into the contact instead of shying away from it as Olivia had presumed she would. "Sleep well," Olivia whispered.

Alex slipped her hand into Olivia's and gave it a squeeze. "I will," she said, and sure enough, within minutes, she was asleep.

Thanks to guardianrock, MillaMayhem, ladybugsmomma, Liv-x-Lex4Ever, peterpeter, AmbiiIsMyName, Eljh55, McJoJo, Bkwrmchar, DustyMonkey, Alex Beckett, Flutechick2015, , Kikilia14, and all my anons for your reviews. They inspire me to write more. And I know a lot of you thought Alex was acting bitchy and/or OOC in the last chapter...a bit, but that's kind of the point. Patience will be rewarded and all will be revealed in the end.