Camaraderie

The next evening, Alice's last class finished after Severus'. She left swiftly, before any of her fellow Gryffindors (particularly Lily) could ask where she was headed.

"Hey Alice – oh!" Remus almost seemed to be trying to call her, but she was more than a few feet away, and pretended not to notice. She felt terrible doing it, but for some reason she did not want to leave Severus waiting for her.

She was practically running to the grounds. Finally, she made it within feet of the branches of the Whomping Willow. She heard a voice:

"Need some help?"

"Severus?"

"Yes."

"Where are you?"

"Hold on."

All of a sudden, the tree froze. Alice then saw Severus, his head poking out from a small opening. His hand rested on a knot in the tree.

"Just use the branch to touch this next time. It makes the tree stop moving. That's how you get in."

"I know... I've been here before." Alice walked to the opening and made her way inside. There was a short passageway, after which she could see a light. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"The Shrieking Shack," Severus responded.

"So, that's what they call it."

"Where do you think the 'Shrieking' part comes from?" Severus asked. Alice didn't know if he was trying to make a joke.

"Remus."

"Yeah."

Alice tripped over the divide between the tree passage and the floorboards. Severus quickly grabbed her at the waist, holding her up before she fell. It was the most the two had ever touched. "Sorry," he grumbled after she was standing, taking his hands off of her.

"Thanks," she replied anyway. The two found a pair of seats in the room they found themselves in, one containing only a bed and the seats. Everything appeared to be ripped apart. Alice took one of the seats. Severus pulled one up so he sat directly in front of her. She noted that the two had never sat face to face. Even in the library they would sit on the same side of the table to read from the same book. She didn't know where to start.

"Is it illegal?" Severus asked before Alice could say anything.

"It's not... legal. But there aren't exactly any laws against it. Yet. Not many are accomplished at it enough for the Ministry to really keep tabs on them."

"I don't need to register or anything then, do I, I guess?"

"It is going to take a while. You know that, right?" she asked him before he could continue.

"Of course. I don't expect to learn in one night."

"And... I'm going to start by teaching you Occlumency. That's the-"

"Defense against Legilimency. I know. I've done my research." Alice nodded. She hadn't expected him to show up so prepared.

"I've never taught anyone... anything... before."

"Just tell me what you know. Show me."

This was all a side of Severus that Alice had never seen. That she had never even heard about. In class he never seemed surprised by anything. When they discussed Potions he hardly ever got heated about it. But with this... Severus was excited about this.

"Well, the trick is clearing your mind. Some wizards can even self-edit the truth if necessary, to make it seem like they're not hiding anything."

"Can you do that?"

"I'm better at Legilimency."

"Something you're not very good at... amazing."

"Do you want to learn or not?" Alice was smiling. Severus chuckled. It was almost friendly.

"How do I clear my mind?"

"You just stop thinking. About anything. The trouble is, when somebody is trying to dig into your memories, it'll bring up thoughts and moments that you're not trying to remember. It'll just happen. So, you have to quickly recognize the memory and erase it for the time. It's about instant recognition, so you can race the person trying to see it with you."

"That... makes sense. I suppose."

"It took me a lot of meditation to get where I am with it-"

"You meditated?" Alice was embarassed.

"It helps. Or, at least it helped me. I know it seems a little... odd."

"I should have expected it, I suppose."

Alice changed the subject. "It also helps to keep a pensieve. So you can sort of... ponder old memories. The important ones, anyway. Things you don't want anyone to see. No one would be particularly interested in what you ate for breakfast, for instance."

"Unless you ate something very special, that is. Like Felix Felicis, or Veritaserum."

"Oh, so that's how you stay so thin, is it?" Alice joked. She had no idea how that had come out. It must have been James and his friends rubbing on her, she assumed. But she didn't know how Severus would react. To her surprise, he laughed.

"I never reveal my diet secrets," he said, continuing the jest.

"So," Alice struck them both back into their conversation, "Do you want to try?"

"You're going to go through my mind, and I have to clear out thoughts?"

"To start with, yeah."

"Go ahead."

Alice took a deep breath. "I'll go slow again, so you can see everything." She proceeded to enter his mind. It looked like a room full of a hundred television sets, all playing a different channel. She would respond to moments of conversation, brightly colored images. All of a sudden, she heard a familiar voice: it was Lily's voice.

"To which I replied, I don't want to wear a dress! I never do. But she thinks I'm some little girl who loves pink and flowers and other... girly things. Like she does. I'm not Parvati! She needs to get over it. She'll survive..."

Severus and Lily were alone on the grounds. It was winter. They didn't look like they could be any older than fourteen. No one seemed to be around. Lily stood up, circling around the bench Severus sat on. He watched her every movement. Alice noticed that her speech was slurred, which was uncharacteristic for Lily. But, of course, it was because Severus wasn't really paying attention. The image was clear as day, but the voice itself was blurry.

"Maybe you would look nice in a dress," Severus said to her absently. Lily walked up to him and leaned over so they were face to face.

"Are you saying you want to see me in a dress, Severus?" She wasn't flirting, but it definitely seemed to make Severus a little less composed than before. In the distance, Alice felt as if she could hear Severus speaking to her, but now she was interested in the memory, and had blocked out the real world.

"I'm saying you should give something a chance, for once. Trust somebody."

"I already do trust somebody. I trust you."

"Well, trust somebody else for a change. I'm tired of making your decisions for you." Lily laughed loudly at the joke. Severus smiled at his accomplishment. Lily sat next to him.

"It wouldn't matter anyway – it's winter. Nobody wears dresses in winter. Too cold."

"I think I could handle it..."

The sound of laughter faded instantly as the entire memory blurred. Alice felt herself being pushed away from it. The real world came into focus as she allowed herself to leave Severus' mind.

"You pushed me out. Instead of blanking your mind. You tossed me away. Impressive," she complimented him. Severus' face was entirely red, she noticed, and he looked embarassed.

"You didn't listen to me. I told you to leave, and you didn't listen," he said to her. She blushed.

"I'm... sorry. I couldn't hear you." Severus folded his arms. In any other situation, Alice thought he would have left. She half-expected him to yell at her. Instead he simply glared. He wanted to keep learning, it seemed.

"It's different when I know what you're doing. I can push you out, because you have a form. Now that I know you're in there."

"That's the trick. Awareness." Severus looked troubled for a moment.

"I don't want to... to see her. I see the memories too, you know."

"Of course I know." Alice felt almost rude saying it. "I didn't think it would matter."

"It does. I don't want to think about her anymore."

"I'm sorry, Severus."

"You didn't know."

Well, Alice did know, a little. Only she wouldn't admit it.

"We had a fight. I made a mistake. I don't care for her anymore, though, don't get that idea." Severus tried to explain himself to her.

"You were friends?"

"She was my best friend. As you can tell, I was rather infatuated with her."

"Oh!"

"Not... not romantically. I just found her interesting. And... she was muggle-born. So we wouldn't have lasted long. Our friendship, I mean."

It was almost as if Severus was opening up to Alice.

"You mean... you wouldn't have stayed friends with her?"

"I would have wanted to. But it was not possible."

"Because of Narcissa?"

"Can we stop?"

"Yes." Alice felt like even more of an intruder when she asked these questions then when she searched Severus' brain. "You want to try again?"

"No... I have a bit of a headache, I think."

"Sure. That was a long one. It's hard to get used to."

"I can tell that."

"Should we leave?" Alice didn't know whether or not to get up.

"No, we don't have to. Actually... could I try?"

"You want to try... I thought we were going to start with Occlumency?"

"I know, but I want to... just to try." Alice supposed it wouldn't do any harm.

"It's not easy."

"I know! But you said... you said you were better at Legilimency, not Occlumency." She couldn't argue there.

"Okay. What you have to do-"

"I have to say legilimens and envision myself entering your mind."

"Good. Have at." Alice looked at Severus and decided to simply allow him passage into her mind. She did not yet know what she would show him. Severus leaned forward slightly. Alice found herself more than a little uncomfortable, but she allowed to proximity.

"Legilimens," Severus whispered intensely. There was a moment where nothing happened, and Alice could tell that Severus thought he had failed, but all of a sudden she was in that room with the television sets again – in full color – and he was gliding around her memories. She could feel him trying to touch them, looking for one he could make his way into. Alice was shocked at his power, and impressed at his success. She was so impressed that she forgot to push him away from certain memories. Suddenly, she was reminded of how close they were. Severus, inches away from her face. He was leaning in more and more every moment he was in her mind, Alice could sense it. Yet she wasn't pulling away.

A slew of old memories came to the forefront. A boy was leaning close to Alice in one. That particular memory grew until it became all she could see. Until she was inside the memory once again, watching herself within it.

The boy was Andrew Stephens. They were fifteen and it was springtime. Alice had been on a date, and Andrew was walking her home. Andrew stopped before they got to her block, which was hidden behind a children's park. It was late afternoon, and the sun was beginning to set. Alice leaned against the posts of a swing-set. Andrew was walking towards her.

"Well, I guess I'll see you at school."

"See you."

But he kept walking closer. He could not take another step towards her.

The park was empty, but for the two of them. It was reminiscent of Severus' memory in that way. Immediately, Alice realized what was about to happen. She found a moment of trouble pulling away from it, forgetting it, and before the image disappeared she and Andrew were sharing a goodbye kiss.

And then nothing. Her mind was blank, and she could only think of Severus being there. Severus, who had watched her from across the grounds, her waiting for him to come to her. Severus, who apparently thought of her. Who wouldn't hurt her. She remembered what she had seen in his mind, carelessly flipping pages while Narcissa mocked her. Then she was awake, and Severus was staring at her.

Reality had returned once again.

"That was fantastic. You did so well," she told him. Alice hoped he would not mention what he had seen. Apparently that was too much to hope for.

"Who was the boy?"

"That's... none of your business, but Andrew."

"Andrew who?"

"Andrew... it doesn't matter, you don't know him."

"A muggle?"

"Yes."

"Your first kiss?"

Alice paused before answering. "No."

"Your last?"

Alice couldn't help but laugh. Severus waited for an answer. Why was he interested?

"No."

"So, Alice Ashby had a boyfriend."

"Hardly. We only... we should go back." Severus was grinning, obviously proud of his success. Alice didn't know whether he was happier about the Legilimency itself or what he found out with it. Either way, it was time to go.

"Yeah, I think so." Severus stood and began to lead the way out. Alice couldn't tell how she felt at that moment. She got up and followed behind him. He crossed over the threshold to the passageway and turned around. Alice realized that he had turned to help her, and gave him her arm. He helped pull her to the passage and they walked through the dark to where Alice could feel the exit was. But Severus did not open it yet.

"Before we go... you won't tell anyone? Not Narcissa or anyone?"

"When do I ever speak with Narcissa?" Alice was smiling, but it was too dark to tell.

"True." Alice felt Severus approaching her in the slim hallway. She wanted to back away, but she was already against a wall, and she could see to go left or right instead. "I have to reach over you to open the doorway." Alice made a split second decision to move in an angle towards her left. Severus' face ran into her cheek. He did not pull away. He did not open the door.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know where you were," she told him frantically.

He did not respond. She couldn't move her face, otherwise they would be kissing. But he wasn't moving away. Neither could see anything.

"You won't tell Narcissa anything?" She felt his breath on her right ear as he spoke, the vibrations caressing her cheek.

"No."

"You won't tell anyone?"

"Of course not." Alice was confused. Then, suddenly, his breathing stopped. Hers stopped simultaneously. There was no sound – possibly for miles around. The world had just become a room of darkness, and Alice was leaning against a wall. Suddenly: movement. She felt a hand on her cheek, turning her head until she knew she was facing Severus. Were either of them breathing she would have felt his breath on her lips. Instead, she felt his lips on hers. He lingered until Alice pulled away, remembering to breath all of a sudden. He immediately pushed his hand past her and pressed another knot inside the tree. The passageway opened and allowed a little of the evening light to make it inside the space. Alice saw the half of Severus' face that was touched by the light, and he looked as shocked as she must have. But not angry. Or even unhappy. Just surprised.

"Tomorrow." Finally, a voice.

"I think so," Alice responded, the topic not really registering yet. Then clarity. "Yes. After class."

"Yes." Severus crawled through the opening and ran across the fields back to the castle. Alice did not watch him run far before closing her eyes and pressing her hand against her mouth. Severus Snape had just kissed her, and she had no idea what it meant. If it meant anything. Alice looked back to the grounds. When she could no longer see Severus, she crawled out of the doorway and began her journey back to the castle. Back to the common room, where all of her friends would be wondering what on Earth she had been doing for the past hour. Or so. How long had they been out there? What would she tell them if she couldn't admit anything?

When she got back to the common room, of course everyone asked where she had been. Alice told them she had been with Severus in the Herbology greenhouse. Remus asked her to him before she went up to the dorm room.

"Can I ask you some questions about Defense tomorrow or something?" Alice nodded.

"Sure." She would agree with anything that night. She made another attempt to get to the girl's dorms, barely hearing Remus saying "Goodnight," to her as she left. Frank lightly touched her arm and she turned to him, a little too quickly.

"I got a letter back from Susan," he told her excitedly. Her breathing slowed. She was happy for him.

"What did she say?"

"See for yourself." He pulled out the letter and handed it to her. "You only have to read the bottom."

It read:

"...so I suppose I'll have to wait until Christmas Break to see you again. I wish it wasn't such a long time away, but I will see you soon, and I'd be lying if I said I could wait for it!

See you in two months, Frank.

Love,

Sue."

"That's good," Alice told him.

"That's what I thought. I thought it was good, right?"

"It's... it's definitely good." Frank seemed so thrilled. Alice grinned.

"Well, goodnight."

"Any hot gossip on your part?" he asked her.

"No." Alice answered a little too swiftly. Frank leaned into her.

"I think Remus might have something to ask you-"

"He already did. Homework stuff."

Frank looked a little surprised. "Exactly. So he asked you already?"

"Yeah, he did. Goodnight, Frank."

"Is there something bothering you?" he asked her before she left.

"Of course not," she replied, already turning away. Frank shrugged and rejoined the group's conversation.

Alice would have to become accustomed to lying, it seemed.

--

Author's Notes:

There you go. There's a nice long chapter for you to enjoy. So... how's that for a surprise? Eh? Next chapter will have more to do with other characters, who I have neglected significantly for the past three chapters. Apologies, of course.

Anyways, aren't you so happy for Frank and his girlfriend? Ah, young love. And tell me how you feel about Alice and Severus. Why did Severus kiss her? Is it a romance?

And what about poor Remus? He keeps trying to talk to Alice, and she's hardly thinking about him. Poor, poor Remus.

Until next time, review!