A/N: Still looking for somewhere else to host my stories as it's looking likely that yourfanfiction . com might have to close due to lack of donations. I will keep posting there as long as I'm able though, and just so as everyone knows, I won't stop posting here unless I'm deleted.

For the first three days that he was in the infirmary, Charles was kept under almost constant sedation and when he did wake, he woke screaming. The pain was unbearable, his whole body hurt. Every muscle and every inch of flesh felt like it was on fire and inside he burned with shame and humiliation. He could still feel Shaw's hands and teeth against his skin, could still feel each squeeze and each bite, he could still feel Shaw inside him, pounding and tearing, he could still feel… everything.

He would be vaguely aware of other people bustling around him, footsteps, rattling trolleys, banging doors and hushed conversations that never seemed to be about anything other than rhubarb. Above all of that a firm but distance voice would ask… "Do you remember your name? Can you tell me your date of birth? Do you know where you are?" And Charles mould mumble his answers as best he could between howls of pain, wretched sobs and incoherent pleas to be put out of his misery before the doctor finally took pity and sedated him once again.

By the forth day, the physical pain had begun to fade and the doctor told him he didn't need to be sedated anymore. Charles disagreed and begged to be sedated permanently, crying himself into a fitful sleep when his pleas were refused

"Hey Doc, I think he's awake." A familiar voice called out from the bedside as he slowly started to stir.

Charles rolled his head to one side with a low groan and cracked open one bruised and tear swollen eye.

"Sean?" He rasped, seeing the other boy in the seat beside his bed.

"The one and only." Sean flashed him a sad smile. "Do you need anything, a drink or…?"

"Water."

"Yeah, sure." The redhead reached for a bottle on the bedside table, uncapped it, popped in a straw and held it to Charles' lips. Charles tilted his head so he could capture the end of the straw and took a slow sip. "Take it easy or you'll make yourself sick." Sean warned, his voice heavy with concern. Charles released the straw and dropped his head back into the pillow with a small splutter and another groan. Sean was silent for a moment before asking. "So, how do you feel?" And then apologising in the same breath. "Sorry, that was a dumb question."

The doctor appeared at his other side then and picked up his wrist to take his pulse. Charles flinched at the touch, the feeling of the doctors hands on his skin taking him to a dark place in his memory, causing a new wave of panic to course through his body and a strangled whimper to leave his lips. The doctor looked at him apologetically.

"I wish I was dead." Charles whispered hoarsely.

Sean frowned hard at him and he turned his head, unable to hold his gaze.

"Don't say that. Don't ever say that. Please."

"Did you know Charles…" The doctor interjected, breaking the sudden, almost painful tension. "That Sean has been here to see you every day?"

"He has?"

The doctor nodded.

"Sometimes more than once." Pulse now taken and results written on a chart, the doctor left the bedside, to both boy's relief.

"Really? Every day?" Charles stared curiously at Sean.

Sean blushed furiously under Charles's gaze.

"Lehnsherr said it would be okay just so long as I didn't miss any appointments. I had to blow him first though." He said, wrinkling his nose slightly in disgust.

Now it was Charles' turn to frown.

"You shouldn't have done that for me. I'm not worth it."

"You're worth it to me. You're my friend. And anyway, it's no big deal. It not like I've never sucked dick before." He added.

"But…"

"No buts. I wanted to do it. Well, I didn't want to do it but… Ah, you know what I mean." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled awkwardly. "I just wanted to be here for you. So you'd know you weren't alone and that someone cared."

Charles sucked in his top lip and nibbled it lightly, the swelling and soreness temporarilly forgotten. Slowly, carefully he stretched his arm out a little way so the tips of his fingers were brushing gently against Sean's. The red haired boy's blush deepened, colouring his freckles a darker shade of orange than usual. His fingers twitched against Charles' and he lowered his gaze to where they were touching.

"Thank you." Charles said softly, stretching his arm a little more so that their fingers were laced loosely together. "That means a lot to me."

"You're welcome." Sean answered, just as softly, without looking up. The silence that hung between them, though heavy, was warm and comforting, each boy drawing whatever small measure of strength they could from their friendship. After what seemed like forever, Sean heaved a deep sigh and looked up sadly. "I wish I could stay longer but…"

The rest of the sentence went unspoken, Charles understood perfectly why his friend had to go without needing to hear the words.

"I know." He whispered. "It's okay."

"I don't want to leave you."

"You have to. You'll be punished if you don't and I don't want to see you hurt because of me."

"Maybe I don't care if I get hurt."

"But I do. Go, please. I'll be okay. I promise."

Sean gave a reluctant, shallow nod and sighed again before withdrawing his hand.

"Alright. But I'll be back as soon as I can." Slowly, he got to his feet but instead of turning to leave, he hesitated a moment then leaned down and pressed a tender, chaste kiss to Charles' forehead, probably the only part of his body that didn't hurt.

The kiss took him by surprise but where the doctors touch earlier had made him panic, Sean's didn't scare him at all. His pain eased oh so slightly as a comforting warmth spread through his body, and a single tear slid down his cheek.

"Thank you." He whispered again as he watched Sean walk away, desperately fighting the urge to call out and beg him to stay and wishing with all his heart that Sean would kiss him like that again.

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