A/N: Quick review response to Lady Shadow 77 - Shall is an awesome word and fluff loving is good! :D
Well guys, if you picked up all those heavy hints I was laying down in the last chapter/story thingy then you might have already figured out what this story is about. If not then here we go:
A certain Evilwhiskers reviewed and suggested an awesome idea. Well the actual words were more: Could you write a story with Exalibur? Just because he's that cool :D
Well people, I thought that idea was gold ;D I do love Excalibur so I'm going to forget the rules (just this once) and chose a song for this story. And that song is 'The Excalibur Song'! So Evilwhiskers (nice name, right?) this one's specially for you since you asked ;) Hope you like it!
Ok then people! This is Kid and BlackStar meeting Excalibur for the first time (in episode 9), from Excalibur's highly amusing point of view.
The Excalibur Song written, produced and sang by the one and only Excalibur"Looks like the path dead ends here." I heard a thoughtful tone muse aloud. A worthy hero, perhaps.
"Hey, over there!" Another more eager voice exclaimed. Good, this visitor obviously knew how much of an honor it is to be in my presence.
"Yes, no doubt about it." The first voice said with suitable reverance. "That's it... The Holy Sword, Excalibur."
So he knows who I am... The two young boys looked at where I was placed in the centre of the cave. The two heroes walked in front of me, watching me carefully. They would do. They would be just fine to weild me as long as they were ready to accept the terms.
"Awesome." The blue haired boy said. Fools! Did they not know a more regal word for my superiority? After all, as the dark haired boy had rightly said, I am The Holy Sword, Excalibur.
The dark haired one with the odd white stripes spoke again. "The air here is viabrating. Standing here I can easily believe what the book says about becoming a hero and earning everlasting fame and glory. This cave seems like a magical place. Look at the sword, such precise ornementation on the hilt. Not a single nick on the blade. Yes, it is indeed worthy of the title Holy Sword. A magnificent sword that can only be pulled out by the chosen hero. By me..."
I was tired of this boy's speech when he clearly wasn't admiring me enough. The blue haired boy grabbed my hilt and pulled me from the ground. Fools! It took them long enough.
The blue haired boy paused for a second, before bouncing around in a rather ood way. "Yeah! Look like I'm the hero! A big, big hero. Yahoo!"
The other boy seemed to be having a mental breakdown, not looking so well, curling up on the floor and... Fool! He had put my book down on the floor without care. The spine may get creased.
After a few minutes the spine-creasing, dark haired boy got up and faced the blue haired boy who had pulled me from the ground. "How about a do-over?"
Ahh, he wishes to weild me too. Only right. I am the legendary Holy Sword.
"Huh? You saying it didn't count or something?" The blue haired boy almost growled. Don't worry, blue one. There is enough of me to go around. He plunged me back into the ground. "Fine. But I'm sure it's just going to be the same every time."
"No, this time I'm going to do it." The stripey boy announced.
The blue haired boy laughed. "Yeah right. You wish. The sword chose me to be it's hero, Kid. I'm a big fat hero."
Hmm, he wasn't exactly fat, but he might want to tone down if he wishes to be the one to weild me.
The stripey boy went to grab my hilt, then paused and pulled a rather odd face. Then he crouched down and rubbed my hilt with a cloth. "Best to be safe. Who knows who else has touched this sword over the years."
Good choice. I drew many to me, in the hopes that they would be the lucky one to weild me and some of them were a little odd, like the stripey one. There was a rather odd one a few years back with a screw in his head, who tried to weild me.
"Hurry up and do it!" The blue boy told him irritably.
The stripey one reached out to my hilt and pulled me from the ground. He gasped. "It came out!"
"Huh? How come you were able to pull it out too? It must be because I loosened it!" The blue one demanded. Now it's my time to shine...
"Welcome, welcome! Welcome to my cave, young ones!" I said in a most regal tone that is sure to have impressed them, glowing royally and lifting from the stripey one's hand.
"It's talking!" The blue one gasped. Fool! Would he believe I am mute?
"Forgive the belated salutations. I am the Holy Sword, Excalibur!" I shone with the most blinding light and the young ones practically kneeled before me.
The light died down and I stood before them, in all my regal glory.
The blue one looked at me. "So incredibly... lame!"
Fool!
"You're the holy sword?" The blue one asked. "In the top hat? Seriously?"
The stripey one had started to snigger!? Fools!
"You're one to talk!" I told him, holding my cane so it pointed to his face. "Who are you exactly?"
The blue one drew himself up straight. "Who am I? Black-"
Never mind, it did not matter. "My legend dates back to the twelth centuary, thank you very much. From the looks of you, you must be meisters. Where are you children from!?" I pointed my cane to the blue one again.
"Who do you think you are pointing that thing at me?" He knocked my cane away. "Put it down, freak."
The stripey one added. "We're from death weapon-"
"I know that." I told him with great dignity. "Here, I want to show you something."
I turned and the blue one asked foolishly. "Then why did you ask if you already knew the answer? What's with this guy? Why the hell isn't he wearing any pants?"
The stripey one leaned to the blue one. "What's he showing us, I wonder?"
Valid point, stripey one. I turned suddenly and pointed my cane to him. "Young ones, do you want to hear the legend of me?"
The blue one yelled something, but I was in the zone right now. It was probably a 'yes' anyway.
"Do you want to hear a heroic tale?" I questioned.
The blue one spoke again, but I ignored it.
"Where have you travelled here from?" I asked, wondering why they hadn't already told me.
"As we said we're from death weap-"
"What is your favorite number between one and twelve?" I inquired, again wondering why they hadn't already told me.
"What?" The blue one blurted out. "Between one and twelve? One, obviously, because I refuse to back down till I'm number one.
The stripey one added. "And mine is eight becuase of it's perfect symmetry."
"FOOLS!" I told them. "What right do you have to choose a number? My legend dates all the way back to the twelth centuary, you know."
"You already asked us to pick a favorite number so we did!" The blue one protested stupidly.
"Do you want to hear my legend or not?" I asked, waving my cane close to his face.
"Ugh! Just quit with the cane already, will ya?"
But I did not listen to his ramblings, instead beginning my marvelous story. "As I said, my legend begins in the twelth centuary. My mornings begin with a cup of coffee with cream at the cafe. My afternoons begin with a cup of hot tea with two lumps of sugar. And my evenings-"
"Let me guess." The blue one interupted rudely. "Booze? Sounds right for an old guy like you."
"FOOL!" I informed him. "In the evening I change into my pajamas."
"Why are we even care about that?"
The stripey one cut in. "That's all irrelevant to the legend-"
"FOOLS!" I said. "Do you know what this hat is?"
"Huh?" The blue one asked dumbly.
I turned to him. "I asked, do you know what this hat is?"
"How should we know that!" The blue one protested.
"It appears to be made of silk, if that's what you mean." The stripey one tried.
"FOOLS!" I yelled. "If you don't know I guess I'll have to tell you. The taller the chefs hat, the greater the chef."
"Ok, so what you're trying to tell us is-"
"FOOLS!" I interupted. "Who said that I was a chef?" I certainly did not. They truly are fools.
"Nothing you're saying makes any sense." The blue one leaned down to tell me.
I sighed, resting my cane on my shoulder and murmered irritably.
The blue one screached rather loudly. "YOU ARE BEYOND ANNOYING!"
Yes, I have to agree, the stripey one is rather annoying.
Speaking of the stripey one, he said something but I couldn't hear it over the gritting of the blue one's teeth.
"HOLY SWORD, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! LET ME SEE THAT BOOK!" The blue one snatched my precious book from the stripey one's grasp. Fool! He must be careful with it. "IT'S COMPLETELY UNRELIABLE! WHO WROTE THIS, LET'S SEE!" The blue one looked at my book. "The author is...ee-ex-caly-buur?"
"Excalibur." The stripey one corrected.
The blue one threw down my book. "YOU?"
I pointed my cane to his face. "No autographs!" I handed them my list of provisions.
"Before becoming my meister, there is a list of almost a thousand provisions you must peruse." I instructed them. "Be sure to look through all of them. They're important."
"Even the backs of these pages have been written on." The stripey one correctly pointed out. He reminded me of a zebra...
"I greatly look forward to your participation in number 452, the five hour story-telling party. And thus...!" I raised my arms and glowed with a blinding light once more. Lifting away from the ground in my sword form. "Thus you have been chosen! It shall all be yours, victory and glory!"
Clearly, I had impressed them. The both repeated what I said and reached out to grasp my hilt with awed looks on their faces.
"Now let's go, together!" I cried out, my power radiating across the room. Then... they planted me back in the ground.
"Yeah right!" The blue one said. "Who'd want a sword like you?"
"Useless piece of metal." The stripey one contributed.
They started to leave! I tried to entice them back. "Hey, come back! I can lower those one thousand provisions to eight hundred! Just as long as you take part in the story telling party!"
But they kept going. Hmm... perhaps they simply weren't ready for my power yet.
A/N: Well that wasn't as great as I'd hoped it might be, but I hope you guys like it. Now, I'm gonna watch some more Soul Eater ;)
Ahh, you guys have no idea how long this one took... Too...Much...Excalibur...
FOOLS!
What is your favorite number between one and twelve?
Me: Er...Excalibur? I just asked you to ask for rev-
E: My legend began in the twelve centuary...
Me: Please, no! Come on guys, review and save me from this thing!
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