DISCLAIMER- I own none of this. Not one bit.
-sob-
A/N- Well, then end's not near, it's here, kids. I absolutely loved writing this for you guys. I hope you like my finale. All 11 pages of it.
Oh, and for fair warning, there seems to be a greater amount of curse words in this chapter than most. Rose gets a little cranky. But to quote Bella Swan "I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not."
Thank you for sticking with me. I hope you've been as entertained as I have. Sequel information will be at the bottom.
"This is not the end. It's not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning" –Winston Churchill
Edward was shaking with a rage that could've blown Mount Vesuvius to smithereens. "So, someone dying is just an unfortunate byproduct? That could have been Charlie. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN BELLA! AND NOW THE WOLVES ARE OUT THERE HUNTING!! YOUR OWN SON IS IN IMMORTAL PERIL!! IS THAT FUNNY TO YOU?!"
I hadn't noticed before, but Edward has shifted closer and closer to Esme. Carlisle stepped between them, holding up a hand.
"I have something to confess."
"And that would be?" Edward seethed. "You've been blocking me all day. I suspected something, but I just wrote it off as today being what it is. Then you slipped earlier, and you've been locked like a vault since. I wasn't sure if I could take another round of 'happy birthday'. Even your thoughts are off key."
"Well, you see, ah…here's the thing…" Carlisle stalled.
"Oh, for the love of god." Jane snapped. "Hurry it up. I've got to go find Felix so we can leave."
Carlisle shot her a peeved glace then turned back to us. "Well, here's the thing. I was working at the hospital yesterday, and we happened to have a John Doe that was a D.O.A…"
Esme went rigid in the background. "You didn't!" She shouted at him.
Carlisle sighed. "I did. I had the idea to bring the body home and pretend to feed from it as a prank. When Alice told me that the Volturi were coming, I saw a brilliant opportunity. I called Jane and told her the plan. We stashed the body in the freezer in the basement, then put him on the side of the road when I knew you'd be driving by."
I stood in a silent stupor. Edward, on the other hand, had a very important question.
"Then why are her eyes red?"
"Wouldn't they be?" I asked him quietly.
"No. Dead blood does nothing to sustain us. It has to be fresh."
Jane laughed, a light tinkling sound. "Your Carlisle is a genius. Just wait."
Carlisle looked back to us. "Ah, that. Well, today was the monthly blood drive at the hospital. I simply sedated a more anxious patient, and Jane drank her blood from the IV tube."
My knees buckled and my weight sagged against Edward's blindingly fast arms. I shook my head hard, trying to work out the situation in my head. I made a quick list. Pros, there was no murder, this has all been a hoax. Cons, the wolves didn't know it was a joke, and were now on the hunt for a vampire. Any vampire. And at this moment, that meant Emmett.
EDWARD'S POINT OF VIEW
My angel spoke from my arms.
"But, the wolves… Emmett…"
Apparently, she wasn't exactly coherent yet. But, from everyone's thoughts, they all seemed to understand.
"Yes, that's a complication that we weren't prepared for." Carlisle said quietly.
"YOU WEREN'T PREPARED FOR?!" Rosalie's voice boomed and echoed around the cavernous room. "MY EMMETT IS OUT THERE KILLING A MEMBER OF THE VOLTURI WHILE BEING STALKED BY WEREWOLVES, AND IT'S SOMETHING WE WEREN'T "PREPARED FOR"!!"
Poor Rose Esme thought to herself. She was still frightened by my outburst earlier, and had not spoken since.
What have we done? Carlisle asked himself in ire.
You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There's no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you
Alice was singing to herself. That could only mean one thing.
"Alice. I'd sure love to know why you're singing New Found Glory rather than being concerned over your brother's disappearance." I turned blindingly fast to glare at her. So did everyone else. Or at least everyone but Bella. I'd set he back down, and she was suddenly distracted by Alejandro's presence again. But, I'd deal with that later.
Alice looked at me like I'd just ratted her out to the police. Bastard.
I simply smiled at her. "Please, I'd love to hear your explanation."
She sighed heavily and began.
BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW
Alice shot daggers at Edward with her eyes, then spoke.
"Did you really think I wouldn't see this coming?" She asked Esme and Carlisle. "I mean, Esme at least tried, but come on Carlisle. Really?"
"Get to the point Alice." Rosalie snapped.
"I saw Esme calling Jane this morning, after she saw the wall. Then I saw Carlisle's plan, and I knew I could doup you all."
Edward froze solid next to me. They spoke at the same time.
"She called the wolves."
"I called the wolves."
The entire room fell completely silent, save my thundering heartbeat. No one blinked. No one breathed. No one so much as thought anything. I only knew that because Edward's attention never wavered from his sister. Finally, Esme spoke.
"So, the wolves aren't in the forest?" She whispered. The she felt seeped from every word.
"Well…" She paused.
"Alice, why can't you see anything?" Edward interrupted, his tone strained.
"Because I did involve them, I can't see anything anymore. I knew this was coming. I just have no idea about what's going on. They might be in the woods, they might not."
Rosalie cocked a blonde brow at her. "So, what you're saying is, the wolves know about today, and they know that Jane DIDN'T kill anyone, but they're still in the woods. In the woods where Emmett is currently hunting a member of the Volturi. Well, great. That's great. THAT'S FUCKING GREAT!!" She roared, her anger catching up with her at the end. She turned on her heel and marched out the back door.
I was wondering for a moment why she didn't just walk though the hole in the glass, but I quickly understood the extra effort. With one last burning glare, she slammed the door. She slammed it through the wall and pulled it past the jam onto the other side. With another frustrated roar, she heaved the door into the yard and stalked into the forest screaming Emmett's name.
The rest of the house cleared as each person went to look for their respective family members. I heard Jane muttering something about Felix being a 'low-life douchebag', Demetri and Alejandro on her heels. Carlisle and Esme wound their fingers together and walked into the forest, calling Emmett's name. Jasper bolted like lightening into the night.
Edward turned to me and reached into his pocket. "Stay. Call Jacob and make sure that he has kept his word. I need to go find Emmett before he kills Felix."
And then he was gone. My bones turned spongy in the bad way, and I started to sink. Alice's tiny arms looped around my waist and pulled me to the couch across the room. My eyes stared unfocused on the hole that was the backdoor, hoping Edward would pop through and scoop me into his arms. That was, of course, until I saw Alice attempting to stifle her laughter.
"Mary Alice Branden Whitlock Cullen (A/N- Like how I threw Jasper's last name in?) I don't see one thing that's funny about this." I said slowly, my words sharper than barbed wire.
"Oh, I do. Just wait." She was still giggling.
"Wait for what? Dammit Alice, you know I hate it when you do that."
"Don't worry Bella. You'll see soon enough."
I opened my mouth to speak again, but Alice put an icy cold palm over my lips. I seethed at her, then listened. Alice started to shake with silent laughter.
Stupid human hearing.
I didn't have time to wallow in my annoyance. I could hear a soft hum that grew increasingly louder, almost like a person turning the radio knob up. At first, it sounded like static. But, as the source of the sound grew closer, I could distinguish words.
"MumblemumblemumbleassholemumblemublefuckingidiotmumblekillyoumumbleSHITHEADmumbleYEAH YOU'D BETTER RUN!" Rosalie's voice echoed off of the trees around us. "NO XBOX FOR SIX MONTHS!! AND NO SEX!"
Emmett's reply was muffled, but I knew the question by Rose's infuriated answer.
"WHEN I FEEL THAT YOU HAVE EARNED IT BACK. EARNED ME BACK!!" she screamed at him.
"But Rooooose?" He whined, stepping into the clearing, followed by a shaking Rosalie. "It wasn't even my idea. Felix thought it up!"
"And you went along with it. And you just earned yourself another two weeks, trying to blame it on Felix."
"Two weeks for what?" He asked, his expression pained.
"Your pick."
"Ok. XBOX then."
"OK, Sex it is."
"ROSE?!"
"That's what you get." She said, marching into the house and up the stairs, promptly slamming the door hard enough to shake the house's frame. Emmett skulked over to the couch and plopped down. He turned and glared at me suddenly.
"What?" I asked, cowering on the opposite end of the sofa.
"Your boyfriend is a CLASS-A DICKWEED, THAT'S WHAT!" He shouted.
I sat in stunned silence. Emmett had never yelled at me before. It was terrifying.
Suddenly, a loud banging came from the ceiling. Little plaster chips rained down over us, and the house shook in the wake of the pounding. I looked straight up to see a livid Rosalie poking her head through the hole she had just punched in the floor with god knows what.
"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN, YOU WILL NOT BLAME THIS ON EDWARD. OR BELLA FOR THAT MATTER! JUST BECAUSE EDWARD TOLD ME WHAT YOU WOULDN'T DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU GET TO BE MEAN TO THEM!" She shouted, then pulled her head back through the hole. If I wasn't still horrified from Emmett's rant, I may have laughed. She looked like a gopher. I heard a loud scraping noise as Rosalie pushed the bed over the hole and flopped down on it, hard.
The rest of the family returned slowly, followed by Jane, Demetri, Alejandro, and a seemingly unscathed Felix. I opened my mouth to speak, but Alice beat me to it.
"Sooooo, what did you do?" She asked Felix.
He looked around shiftily, then started to speak in a hushed voice. "I slapped her ass on purpose. I just didn't expect the aftermath. Then, when that big one came after me, I decided to try and make peace instead of fighting. That guy would have killed me."
"Damn straight." Emmett mumbled from the couch. Rosalie cleared her throat loudly, the sound echoing from the hole above me, and Emmett shifted uncomfortably, looking annoyed again. I stood and stepped a little closer to Felix, against my better judgment. But, he seemed to behave himself.
"We decided to pretend like he killed me. We were going to get you all worked up, and then I was going to walk in totally fine. It would have been hysterical." He smiled a little on the last part.
Rosalie stormed down the stairs, making more noise than I'd ever heard before. She was hysterical, but not the funny kind.
"YOU ARE AN ABSOULUTE FUCKTARD! DO I HAVE TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE AGAIN?" she screamed at the top of her undead lungs in his face. I blinked at the most inopportune moment. I missed Felix darting and cowering behind tiny Jane.
However, I did not miss Jane latch onto the roots of Felix's hair. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She spit. Felix frowned.
"No."
"Do you have any idea how much paperwork that would have been?" She snarled.
"But, I wouldn't have actually been dead! You wouldn't have had to do any paperwork."
"I think what's she's trying to say is that she would have killed you herself." Demetri's deep voice shocked me. I hadn't realized until now, but he hadn't spoken before. Jane lips tipped into the slightest smile, and Felix flinched.
"I do believe that it's time to go." Jane said coldly. She turned to Carlisle and Esme. "I'm glad that we were able to help."
"It was much appreciated." Carlisle nodded.
Sometime during the commotion, Edward had stealthily approached my back and now rested his hands on my shoulders. He shifted so we were hip to hip, his arms a snare around my waist. Jane nodded at each of the Cullen children, then paused on me again. Edward snarled as her mouth twitched. Demetri and Felix walked down the line of us, shaking our hands. Felix gave me his signature wink and kissed my hand. The gesture scared me half to death, considering he could have been stiffing me out as a snack.
Alejandro stepped in front of us next, and he shook Edward's hand firmly. He turned to me, his expression safe and warm. "Congratulations. It takes an unbelievable amount of love to counteract my powers, and I've been trying as hard as I could, just to see if I could get you two apart. It's extraordinary."
He stuck his hand out and I lifted mine to shake it. As soon as his chilly skin connected with mine, I stepped closer. My head fogged over, and I found myself leaning closer to catch his sugary scent. I frowned and shook my head. I tried to step back as hard as I could, but my feet were faltering.
"The wedding," Edward said, his voice a tad acidic. "Is on the 13th of August, by the way."
Alejandro laughed loudly and pulled his hand away. "I apologize again. I couldn't help myself. The warmth…well, I'm sure you understand."
A smile hinted on Edward's face. "I do."
"I hope to see you soon. I'm eager to see how this one turns out." He reached out and tapped my nose with his index finger. I frowned. Yeah, the patronized human thing was not going to be missed, that was for damn sure. With that, the last of the Volturi walked through the front door and into the darkness.
I stomach rumbled again, and every Cullen laughed. Edward scooped me into his arms, and before I knew it, I was settled on his soft sofa. "Would you like something to eat, love?" he asked me.
"Very much, thanks." I smiled at him. He shot from the room like a bullet, only to return with a big stack of bowls superglued together a moment later. The top bowl was full of ice cream and a spoon poked out from the center of the mound. But he wasn't alone. His entire family filed through the doorway. Esme frowned when she saw the hole in the window, but brightened quickly.
"So, did we fool you?" She asked politely
"Yes, mother, I believe that you did." Edward told her, grinning.
"Esme?" I said quietly.
"Yes?"
"You did all that just to get me?"
She laughed. "Oh, not only you. I did it to get you, Edward and Jasper all at the same time. And, if I do say so myself, I think it was bloody brilliant."
"Me? I didn't do anything." Jasper lied. She turned and arched an eyebrow at him.
"Really? You didn't?" She sounded skeptical. I sat openmouthed. Jasper was just going to let us take the fall?
Esme marched over to where he stood and placed her hand on top of his head. She ruffled his hair with her hand, then pulled it away. Her entire hand up to her wrist was purple.
"Then, why, oh why, son, did I find this purple gook all over my room?" She planted her clean hand on her dainty hip.
"I…uhmmm…aww, shit." Jasper hung his head.
Edward pushed the bowl of ice cream at me, so I ate while they spoke.
"Can I ask why Jasper is covered in purple goop?" I announced
"A balloon filled with jelly was balancing above my doorframe so it would fall on me when I opened it." Jasper said.
"Wait a second. You guys are VAMPIRES, and the best you could do was balance a balloon full of jelly above a door? Humans don't even do stuff like that anymore."
"Hey." Emmett frowned. "Sometimes the classics are the best."
"Oh, that reminds me. I do have to commend you, Carlisle. That dead body idea was brilliant." Alice squeaked from across the room. That triggered something in my mind, and I dropped my spoon. It clattered loudly against the side of the stack of bowls I held. I turned to Edward in silent horror.
"Edward. Where did that ice cream come from?" I said, almost inaudibly.
"The freezer, love. Why?"
I screamed at the top of my lungs as I ran to the bathroom to vomit.
Bedee bedee bedee, that's all folks! I hope you liked it!
The sequel will be called…
Lunar Sunrise. Or at least I think so. It may change, if I end up really hating it. But I wanted to keep it in the family of stellar things that happen at night. The story will be one of the post-Eclipse nature, and will include vampires, werewolves and craziness. OH MY!
ATTENTION!! I HAVE A NEW POLL, AND IT IS MUY MUY IMPORTANTE!! IF YOU PLAN ON READING MY SEQUEL, PLEASE VOTE!!
I love you all, and hope to see you in the future!
Review?
RANDOM SONGS
MY FRIENDS OVER YOU- NEW FOUND GLORY
EMANCIPATE- ASHES OF SOMA
ALL THAT I'VE GOT- THE USED
GIVING UP- LINKIN PARK
Oh, and if you didn't understand the whole throwing up thing at the end, I'll paint you a little mental picture. A naked dead body, chilling next to a carton of Rocky Road in the freezer.
'Nuff said.