This chapter is dedicated to my sister who comes and intervenes when I'm typing, and points out my typos. Luv ya.

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"We've got to go tell Hairy-Grid," Hermione said.

"You do it. I've got Quidditch trials today, plus I'm hitting the gym after that," Harry replied.

"What you working on?" asked Ron. "Biceps? Triceps? Six Pack?"

"Ummmmm. No. I just like to go there and play my game boy in peace."

Harry's new potions book came via mail, but Harry who was now attached to his Half Brain Prince's version set it on fire and threw it on Ron's head. Hermione started reading the newspaper ignoring Ron run around the Not So Great Hall, his head ablaze.

"They've arrested Stan Shunpike. They claim he's a Breath Eater because of his criminal record."

"He doesn't have a criminal record," Harry said ignoring Ron who was now bouncing around the Hall his robes now on fire. "He's only killed 76 cats, poisoned 18 gold fish, strangled 15 old ladies ( I am a violent person…… sue me), shot 15 camels, steal 37 TV's and killed the sheriff of Mississippi.

"Anyway," Hermione said watching Nebbel pour some wine on Ron. "Wonder where DD is? Haven't seen him all week. Wonder if he's out helping the Order."

"Naaah," said Harry watching Ron burst into bigger flames and start to roll on the floor. " He's just been taken by Real Madrid. He's playing the premiership league."

The Quidditch trials were a nuisance. After an hour of smoking pot and dancing with the giant squid, people got serious and came for serious tryouts. Ron (who was all black by now) did well. Mc-Aladdin was about to beat him when suddenly Hermione came and beat the crap out of him.

"Ron wins." Harry said.

"But she beat me up," protested Mc-Aladdin.

"That's right. I don't take wimps in my team," replied Harry.

Mc-Aladdin burst into tears and ran away KILLING ME SOFTLY.

After that they went to visit Hairy-Grid. They knocked on his door.

"Ima not talking to you gees. U abuse my skills like bad bling on a harley. Ima now a red G all the way. Grills and Spills ya know. Don't ya talk to me bros."

"If you don't open the door, I'll blast it open, set your house on fire, make pig-tails out of your beard and throw fangs in the lake."

"Didja threaten me Potter?"

"Yeah I did."

"Coo. Real fresh see. I like that."

They explained to Hairy-Grid that their time tables were full and didn't have space for his subject when suddenly he burst into tears.

"Whats wrong," Hermione said. Well she didn't say it she asked… but you got the point when I said she said. Just goes to show you that people like my sister who always point out typos ARE wrong…anyway. "Is it aragogog? Is he dying?"

"Screw him.. G-Unit and the Game broke up…. It's a real sad ordeal and deal for wheels ya know."

After that they went to the not so great hall where Prof.Snailshorn came up to them.

"Harry. Dinner in my office. You come too Hermione. Ron I don't like you so you're not invited. In fact, Abada Kababa."

Ron died.

They went to the common room where Demelza told him that he had detention with Sniped later and so he couldn't go to the party. Ron (who had come back to life) was now playing the guitar. Hermione was plucking feathers off her owl. Gred and Forge were playing baseball with an elf for a ball.

"Aaaah screw detention." Harry said knocking Demelza as he joined Fred and Gorge in a game of baseball as Gred smacked the poor elf out of the window.

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A/N:

Hey all.. missed me? Don't care. Anyway.. my exams just finished so im free for like a week before I have to start studying again for my A levels which start in May. Anyway. Really sorry for such a late update. Anyway. Im still alive and writing away. It's amazing how I can write this and other stories and when I'm in English class, I suck ….. go figure… anyway… good news for my old reviewers like depp forever 07 and chocolate moony gal etc. : I'm probably writing a suquel to THE MARUADERS DIARY in the summer. I'm not sure but there's a 90 chance that I'll do it. Anyway. Im going writing another chapter for this story so I can update soon. Cya. Thnx to all my reviewers.