Chapter eleven: We Ride!
I can't think of anything else but Jacob. I am so absent minded I haven't taken regard of Edward who is in the car with me. I have embarked on this Jacob induced silence, where I have been picked up by his behavior towards me earlier and won't be released.
As I look out the window, I conclude he could have been kinder. So he wanted to get rid of me… I don't know why but probably because he was expecting another… you know one that he is not so repulsed with. The one he actually finds attractive enough to take advantage of.
It's too upsetting to think about Jacob but my mind is so stubbornly fixed on him that I can't bring myself back. It takes an accident to get my attention, prompting Edward to take the long way back to my place. The ride was only suppose to be 20 minutes and now complicated further by another 20 minutes. As if, the tense mood in the car wasn't prolonged enough. I had to say something when he took out a cigarette and started smoking.
BELLA: Do you mind putting it out, I don't like inhaling the smoke, and it blocks my nose.
EDWARD: Oh, I am sorry.
I am surprised by easily and quickly puts it out and I am equally impressed as he chucks it out the window.
EDWARD: I didn't know
I wasn't prepared for that.
BELLA: I guess this is a bad time to tell you I was only kidding.
EDWARD: (Laughing) it doesn't block your nose?
BELLA: No it doesn't.
He's taken this well his beautiful smile confesses that.
BELLA: I just didn't want this to be a weird ride; it's going to half an hour unlike the 15 minutes from this morning
EDWARD: I didn't think this morning was weird.
BELLA: No?
EDWARD: No I thought it was insensitive.
BELLA: Because of you?
EDWARD: No because of you. You just kept quiet the whole time as you were oblivious to me and what happened last night.
BELLA: I was indifferent, you rarely spoke a word. If it weren't for my missing panties you never would have said anything at all…
He suddenly burst out laughing annoying me more
BELLA: What's so funny?
EDWARD: You! I'm just kidding.
BELLA: You're kidding?
EDWARD: You were not insensitive.
BELLA: so why did you say I was?
EDWARD Cos I was trying to get you back for the cigarette.
BELLA: It was one cigarette Edward.
EDWARD: From a box of 20 that cost me $20
BELLA: So I owe you a dollar?
EDWARD: $1.20, that's how much a loose goes for.
BELLA: I'll give it to you if you promise you won't light it up again.
EDWARD: The money or cigarette
BELLA: Obviously the money Edward, I don't have any cigarettes.
EDWARD: How can I light it up then?
BELLA: You might have another one.
EDWARD: Yes I do but you said I have to promise I wouldn't light it up if you gave it to me.
BELLA: That's not how I meant it and you know it.
EDWARD: So you meant I light up the money then?
BELLA: No I meant the cigarettes, the ones that you might have on you now, don't light it up around me.
EDWARD: But you owe me $1.20?
BELLA: (laughing) I guess I do. And if I give it to you… the money… promise you won't light up any more cigarettes…that you may have on you now…while I'm around.
EDWARD: And the ones I might have later?
BELLA: OH God!
He makes laugh. He is dangerous don't you see?
EDWARD: I am just playing with you. No smoking around Bella … got it.
There is that look again. The one he gave me last night after each time we had sex. Like he saw me and at that moment, I am all that he can see. You know that look that suggests… that … last night wasn't a quirk that happened only because we were drunk and out of control but because we were both honestly into it.
He breaks the silence this time…
EDWARD: Jacob didn't tell me it was you who was waiting.
BELLA: I don't think you would have come if you knew.
EDWARD: I just don't want you to think that I did this intentionally… you know like I could have just stayed away…
BELLA: I don't think that.
EDWARD: I just want you to know
BELLA: I know!
We remained quiet for a while. We still don't know how to clean the air over last night but there's a full attempt from Edward. I will always give him that.
EDWARD: Did you eat?
BELLA: Yes Jacob and I had dinner at his place.
He nods, reaches for a cigarette in his pocket but then remembers.
EDWARD: Sorry!
I offer him a smile, he has tensed up a little, I don't understand why.
EDWARD: So you're not hungry?
BELLA: (Laughing) No not really.
EDWARD: I made some dinner at my place so if you were hungry… which you've already said you aren't…
BELLA: What did you make?
EDWARD: My specialty… bacon & Egg tramezzini…
BELLA: (laughing) that's your specialty?
EDWARD: Actually my number two specialty. My first would be bacon & cheese tramezzini. (Pause) They skipped ahead didn't they?
BELLA: Who?
EDWARD: Whoever is writing this? If it were a great script, we would not see each other for some time, run into each other in book 2 or something…
BELLA: I think they know best.
EDWARD: Really? I think she's got no idea what she's doing. So what do we do?
BELLA: I don't know, we improvise.
EDWARD: Improvise I like that. Jacob is my best friend and since you and he are beginning to hang round each other all the time he will know something is definitely wrong if we won't work at it now.
BELLA: You're right. I think it's a start that we remember each other's names.
EDWARD: (Laughing) Well I think maybe if you pay me back my $1.20, then we will be well on our way…
I find the fact that he uses humor to clear away unease an interesting appeal about him. He has astounded me, he is more level headed than he appears. The more time I spend in his presence the more I'm responsive I am to the fact that he doesn't hold himself in very high regard at all.
The mood had cleared by the time we pulled up outside my apartment building. He opted to walk me upstairs because it was late and he wanted to make sure I got there safe. If I were a brave girl, I would admit that there is major attraction here and it is reciprocal.
EDWARD: Are you gonna be Ok here?
BELLA: I should be. I know everyone on the floor. If something happens to me it's either 80-year-old Mrs. Harkison who has a bad hip…
EDWARD: She's 80 years old of course she's got a bad hip…
BELLA: (Laughing) But it's the story about how she broke that hip that's interesting. Apparently, she was kicking herself for not marrying her high school sweetheart.
EDWARD: (Laughing) that's the only way to break a hip at 80.
BELLA: well its either her or Janet, apparently the girls got such a busy lifestyle… if you know what I mean… the only time she ever comes out is when she's going to pick her next victim.
Yes she's been known to disappear for a week with just one man.
EDWARD: She sounds like fun. What do you think her next scouting time will be you think it's worth it to just wait it out here for her?
He makes me laugh, he makes me laugh and he makes me laugh.
BELLA: I don't think you're her type.
EDWARD: And you know her type!
He starts coming towards me, closing the gap. I don't mind it; my body's aching for it.
BELLA: Very well…
EDWARD: What? Does she sometimes invite you to watch?
He stops right in front of me backing me at the door, his face just above my own. I've always had flimsiness for tall men… especially for tall good-looking ones like this one.
BELLA: As interesting as that would be… (They carry this moment with a laugh)… I just know her type from having no social life of my own.
EDWARD (laughing) so you wouldn't mind watching then?
BELLA: Guess it depends on whom I am watching!
EDWARD: Me! Would you watch me?
BELLA: Only if I get to perform.
EDWARD: Of course, you get to perform.
We exchange a hot steamy kiss by the door. Is it just me or does the fact that I enjoy Edward so much spell trouble.
EDWARD: You and Jacob are not… you know?
BELLA: No, we're just friends.
I am hoping to be more.
EDWARD: Good, that's very very good!
I love the way he puts his arms around me as I unlock the door. Wrapping me in a warm embrace as he plants little kisses on my neck. I open the door casually but still with the wonder inside my brain, I wonder what the excuse will be after tonight. I had a few drinks earlier on but that's already worn off and nothing about him suggests that he has had even a sip of it tonight. So Edward, probably the most attractive man there is, wants to have sex with me because… he wants to? I am dreaming aren't I? I have to be dreaming! But wait…you can wake me once we're done.
He's already unbuttoning my pants by the time the door shuts with the two of us up against it. He traps my hands with my shirt above my head. He kisses my chest with the craze and dynamism that would be impossible not to respond to. He carries me all the way to the couch, tossing me coarsely onto it. I laugh as he quickly undoes his black shirt but when he tries to undo his pants, I feel snubbed and stop him.
BELLA: No, let me!
He laughs cordially, he stands over the edge as I wrestle with his belt and unzip his pants impatiently. Artistically begin my mission to thrill. I begin with kissing the bottom of his stomach to which he mourns. However, it's not the good mourn that I have come acquainted with; he wants to hurry this along. I throw artistry to the wind, bring down his pants, then follow with my mouth, each kiss leading further, and further down than the previous one.
But it isn't until my mouth engulfs him that he tilts his head back responding to the many sensations this was giving him.
He struggles to keep his cool, occasionally letting out a sigh to express his pleasure. And for a few minutes he was pleasured, attended to, spoilt and yes enjoying every minute of it. And when he figured he couldn't do it anymore… hold on that is… he pulled out.
EDWARD: You playing on dangerous territory!
He says as he leans down to kiss me.
BELLA: Come-on you wanted me to take it all in.
EDWARD: Maybe later, right now I have a much better idea on how I want this spent.
He pushes on top of me kissing with fierce intent. It wasn't long till he was inside of me and I was drawing him in, yelling obscenities. I must admit, it's been a while since I had sex but Edward is by far the best sex of my life simply because he can be rough and gentle at the same time, gentle but this white boy has some street credibility.
I lie in his chest after sex, his arm draped across me as we talk in the dark.
BELLA: You know I had never given a blowjob before tonight.
EDWARD: (Laughing) that was quite a monumental success for the first time.
BELLA: Guess this is the part where I should feel embarrassed.
EDWARD: Didn't you hear me; I said monumental success.
BELLA: So you're not the one to judge aren't you?
EDWARD: No, I don't judge. You can tell me anything and I will never judge you.
BELLA: I can think of something that will get you out of this bed, running for the door faster than a bee sting can.
EDWARD: You can try! What is that?
BELLA: My real age.
EDWARD: And you think that's enough…
BELLA: …to break you out and never to come back.
EDWARD: Ok so how old are you?
BELLA: I am 28 years old…
I am surprised by the confidence for which I just admitted that, shouldn't it be more difficult revealing that to him.
EDWARD: Is this your real age or the age that I'm suppose to run when I hear, cos I don't wanna miss my cue you know.
BELLA: Edward I am being serious.
EDWARD: that you're 28 years old.
BELLA: Yes and you're only 26
EDWARD: I'm aware how old I am and now I'm aware how old you are and it doesn't bother me
BELLA: the fact that I am 2 years older and yet you're having sex with me is not a problem.
EDWARD: No it isn't. If you must know, I have had sex with women who were much older than you are.
BELLA: Promiscuous boy, really?
EDWARD: Yes, in fact before I met Terry, I worked at this company called BankCorp and I had a fling with my 39-year-old manager, I was only 20 at the time.
Now I can get along with this person. He has history. He is not perfect nor clean… is he not afraid to let me see.
BELLA: Were you fired at that job too?
EDWARD: (Laughing) no I just left. It was awkward having her as a boss because of the stuff that we always did in the bedroom.
BELLA: (Laughing) Like what?
EDWARD: Well I'll just put it like this, boss lady in the office but wanted someone else to be boss in the bedroom.
BELLA: ooh… amazing combination. Sounds like you've lived. Me, I have lived vicariously through "Family Ties" and "The Bill Cosby show"
Edward laughs.
EDWARD: So that doesn't suggest you're insufficient, it just means that I get to be jealous of you.
BELLA: Why would you do something crazy like that?
EDWARD: Well… think of life as a car… you have more miles left in you.
How can I not respond to such flawless charm, he knows when to use it? He pulls me in closer to give me a kiss on the forehead. Should this feel as sheltered as it does?
Jacob tells me he is leaving town for a few days but not just ordinarily, he first stops my heart.
JACOB: I am moving town Wednesday.
BELLA: You're moving?
JACOB: I am kidding; I'll just be going there for a few days.
I am relieved he is not moving but a few days without him feel as dreadful as a move.
BELLA: Who you gonna see?
I am trying to sound as neutral as I can master as I bring my tea to my mouth but inside I know… I am already missing him.
JACOB: Emmett's girlfriend, Rosalie, she's opening her own restaurant and she's throwing this big bash. She and I have been friends a long time and I had promised to go see her earlier on in the year but had not gotten to it just yet. And I never go back on my promises so…